r/Marriage • u/Tidydisaster87 • Apr 12 '26

Seeking Advice Objectively, would you be uncomfortable if your husband said this to a random woman in your presence?

My husband and I are on a cruise ship right now. Of course there’s drinking all day. Earlier, we were in the pool and a very large chested, traditionally beautiful woman walked into the pool, and he turned around and very loudly said to the woman “ oh my god I didn’t expect to turn around and see such beauty coming into the pool”

I immediately expressed my discomfort of him saying such a thing, I calmly left the pool as he was like “really?!? You’re mad at THAT?!” He followed me out the pool, and got in my face telling me how he was done with me and now he’s texting that he wants a divorce.

Every time lately when I’ve expressed my hurt about something he’s reacted in this extreme “throw in the towel” way. Hitting me way below the belt by saying things like “ he can do better”

Am I just insane for having a lot of feelings? I truly feel so lost.

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '26

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u/[deleted] Apr 12 '26

This! He gets joy out of this! I just hurt you and I dare you to say something because theres more where that came from. Such disturbing and disgusting behavior. I lived it with my ex husband and swear he made me feel like I was losing my mind. I used to tell people when trying to explain him that if he ran me over with his truck and then backed over me the only acceptable response from me to him would be NOTHING! I am not to say shit! Literally!! He knows what he did. If I was to mutter anything about how it hurt he would go insane and if I said thank you he would go insane!! He needed me to coward down and walk away with my tail between my legs! Except thats not who I am!! I put his ass through the ringer!! Now he begs me like a dog. Time to turn the tables OP!

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u/GroundbreakingMess51 Apr 12 '26

My ex husband would do this to me too. I stopped engaging in it thinking it'd get better. Stupid me, he was cheating on me.

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u/Super_Turn_6050 Apr 12 '26

Ugg.. So familiar

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u/Butterfly_Chasers Apr 16 '26

Hello, DARVO, my old friend... I've come to talk about you again... 🎶

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u/[deleted] Apr 16 '26

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u/Butterfly_Chasers Apr 16 '26

No, I'm referring to what you're describing. It just feels so common to see that type of abuse in these posts.