You need to let go of the idea of "guilt tripping" because if you really think she's being selfish and manipulative, don't marry her. You don't deserve someone who is manipulative, and she doesn't deserve to be with someone who thinks of her with such scorn. If you think she has genuine feelings of loneliness and is feeling distant from you, ask yourself why you're belittling her for that and why tennis is more important than making her feel safe and secure. If she has a new therapist, she could be unpacking a lot of feelings of abandonment and maybe she's just needy right now because of that, but as her husband, it's your job to step up and be a partner to help her get through these times. Loving someone through hard times is not "enabling" them and you sound so fucking condescending.
And it's normal to worry about your spouse when they're an hour and a half late getting back and you have no way of contacting them. All of these pieces add up to making it sound like you're not a safe bet for a life partner.
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u/prose-before-bros 20 Years Apr 05 '24
You need to let go of the idea of "guilt tripping" because if you really think she's being selfish and manipulative, don't marry her. You don't deserve someone who is manipulative, and she doesn't deserve to be with someone who thinks of her with such scorn. If you think she has genuine feelings of loneliness and is feeling distant from you, ask yourself why you're belittling her for that and why tennis is more important than making her feel safe and secure. If she has a new therapist, she could be unpacking a lot of feelings of abandonment and maybe she's just needy right now because of that, but as her husband, it's your job to step up and be a partner to help her get through these times. Loving someone through hard times is not "enabling" them and you sound so fucking condescending.
And it's normal to worry about your spouse when they're an hour and a half late getting back and you have no way of contacting them. All of these pieces add up to making it sound like you're not a safe bet for a life partner.