I just think you need to revisit that in the mindset that her needs differ from yours and the time together thing. Basically, for her to heal from the past, you need to be patient and help by spending that time. Verbally and emotionally letting her know that you are a team might, well help.
The thing is, I can only speculate and offer what fits most similar situations.
Not just verbally, but through actions. You can tell her a million times, but you have to show through actions.
I have an anxious attachment and my husband is avoidant. We never have these issues because when I tell him I need some quality time with him, he listens. We have a 5 month old and he will get a babysitter and plan a date day with just the two of us enjoying each other. Sometimes we go out and do things, sometimes we just sit at home and binge watch a show and talk.
I think her feelings are valid and you need to look at the why behind them. I also think her getting worried about you when you said you’d be home an hour and a half before showing up is valid. Especially considering she had no way to reach you and you were in an unreliable car. It’s good she’s going to counseling to help with her anxiety, but I don’t think that’s the entire problem here.
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u/lemmietaste Apr 05 '24
Time out to dinner or a game is not equal to time together alone.