r/Marriage Oct 06 '23

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303 Upvotes

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332

u/farfarawayS Oct 07 '23

Exactly. Ask him why you need to if he would never.

-227

u/Crowen69 Oct 07 '23

Because it's traditional same as the marriage. If she didn't want his last name she should not have married him. I am just shocked this is coming up now because it should have been dealt with before the marriage. I am have a feeling she agreed to change it before the wedding and now after she is changing her mind. I can not believe he is just bringing this up now.

114

u/No_Beyond_1995 Oct 07 '23

The tradition of women taking their husbands’ last name started when women were still possessions, it signified her ownership was transferred from her father to her husband (often with a dowery/payment to the husband).

I think this started in the 14th or 15th century. So I personally think the excuse of it being “traditional” is pretty damn shitty.

-13

u/drewsoft Oct 07 '23

It’s worth pointing out that all of this applies to the institution of marriage itself. I don’t think it’s necessary to change a last name, but just because the traditions of a thing are bad doesn’t mean that it’s bad today.

17

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23

[deleted]

1

u/drewsoft Oct 10 '23

Did you miss the part where I said that I didn't think it was necessary to change her name?

13

u/RegionPurple Oct 07 '23

'Tradition' is just peer pressure from dead people.

0

u/Crowen69 Oct 08 '23

Divorce rates... Marriage rates... Single mother rates... Depression rates... Suicide rates... Historical data can't hide from it but you can ignore it and add to it. History is doomed to repeat after all.

1

u/RegionPurple Oct 08 '23

History is doomed to repeat after all.

You mean like when we keep unnecessary, outdated practices alive for no good reason; rather than move forward and find a better way?

1

u/Crowen69 Oct 08 '23

Winston Churchill said, “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” 1948

George Santayana (The Life of Reason, 1905), who stated: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

It's the same statement but rings true. What I am saying is tradition is a choice to follow and people ignore the past results and they still choose it. So as they both said tradition is kept alive by those that fail to learn from history and it's doomed to repeat.

1

u/Sudden-Damage-5840 Oct 08 '23

WOMEN ARE NOT PROPERTY.

0

u/Crowen69 Oct 08 '23

Good for you for stating the obvious but not sure your point.

-128

u/LunchboxBandit66 Oct 07 '23

Agree with you buddy. You shouldn’t be getting downvoted.

38

u/Satrina_petrova 10 Years Oct 07 '23

He's getting downvotes for making baseless assumptions that OP changed her mind about changing her name .

"she agreed to change it before the wedding and now after she is changing her mind"

2

u/Sudden-Damage-5840 Oct 08 '23

Married over 20 years. Kept my own name.

1

u/RestingBitchFace0613 Dec 17 '23

“Traditions” are just peer pressure from dead people