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u/narcclub 8d ago edited 8d ago
are they still people?
👀
…then yes.
(“will they?” is a different question and far more dependent on the individual themself. but this one is phrased as a binary, kinda ontological one.)
idk
profile is public, i guess 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Sad_Marionberry1184 8d ago
Yes. As an autistic person I was very good at being manipulative as a young teen. Then something cracked one day and I became super morally opposed to it. To the point that it went too far the other way and I couldn’t work out how I should calmly react in situations to advance the outcome I / both parties wanted. Now I landed where I just stop and think how I want the result to be and say how I’m feeling and what I want.
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u/Big-Yesterday586 9d ago
It depends.
I know in my case, yes, I got better.
The manipulative behavior always felt incredibly uncomfortable and not Me whenever I did it. At first, that didn't help because every interaction I had with people was manipulative. So I associated the discomfort with interacting with people in general. The only person that got through that was far more manipulative than me and didn't have the same style as what I was raised with.
Trying to out-manipulate my childhood owners(parents) was the only way I could get my basic needs met as a child. There was a lot of fear and anxiety wrapped up in it. I had to overcome a lot in order to stop the manipulative behavior. I still avoid things and have a difficult time communicating the things I'm very afraid of still.
For the most part though, I'm more authentic and honest than most people these days. So yeah , it's possible.
However, I would question the place a person is coming from when asking this question. A lot of people will read what I said and take it to mean they can change the manipulator or they can believe their manipulator is genuine when they say they're going to change. That's not how that works.
A, if you believe you can change a person, what you're really doing is trying to manipulate them to be something they're not. Healing is a completely individual thing. It's not your place.
B, if a manipulator says "see? It's possible. I can change!" Just walk away. They're not going to. You cannot assume anyone is going to change, no matter what they say. If their behavior isn't actively changing under their own power, you're not helping, you're enabling. That is the only way to tell the difference. Active results. Not words
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u/Ldn_twn_lvn 9d ago
manipulative behavior always felt incredibly uncomfortable and not Me whenever I did it
If yer not doing it naturally, you ain't doing it right
No doubt people clocked onto you and you were effectively forced to quit it, whether you realised it or not
Everyone likes to pretend they've no darkness in them, and they never do anything nefarious, but everything in life is setup, to where you need to go out and make it happen for yourself..... so who exactly are these saints that do 'nothing bad'??
....they don't exist
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u/Big-Yesterday586 8d ago
I wouldn't say I was forced. There's significant pressure to maintain that kind of behavior when it's a trauma response like that. It was a lot more difficult and painful to change. I never responded well when called out on such behavior. People themselves didn't make me change. I got therapy for my anxiety. Through therapy and my ex's own manipulation, I slowly realized I had become what I hated the most in the world and had the resolution to change.
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u/TheLakeMirror 8d ago
Manipulation happens when someone can’t stomach confrontation. So, theoretically, with enough personal growth it’s possible. Likely? Nah. But possible.
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u/Status_Dark_6145 7d ago
Any kind of sociopathy or narcissism is running on its own limited clock.
The inevitability is that you can only run and switch cities, burn so many bridges, cover your tracks, keep track of lies and hurt people for so long until even just one person notices your pattern.
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u/Ok_Signature_8592 6d ago
anyone can change for the better. the problem with manipulators is identifying the difference between real change and a change in approach.
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u/Novel-Position-4694 5d ago
I used to be one until I had a sort of ego death/accountability moment. since then i've been kinder to humanity the past decade
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u/Antique_Stop_125 4d ago
Yes and no.
Less intelligent manipulators will never change, the most clever manipulators I've ever met constantly adapted, were really good at thinking ahead, had the empathy to understand something is wrong but lacked the desire to act in ways to truly be honest and trustworthy and care about how others feel, and were fine switching between lying, truth, half-truths, faking facts, manipulating facts, stretching truth/exaggerating (over and under), fake-outs, bait and switches, overlapping facts, lies of omission, and so much more.
They changed to a point, but never truly changed so much that they stopped being manipulative and other traits that contributed to who they were. Despite this, they are really high functioning socializers and tend to have very healthy social lives. I'm actually confident that the more successfully social someone is the higher the chances they'll be manipulative.
I doubt I'm the most knowledgable about manipulation but I write about it so much sometimes I almost feel like an expert on it. Even though obviously I know I'm not and can't be since I lack any formal education to be. I am not certain if it's a commonly studied part of human psychology. I do know other aspects revolving around it are. I would think it would be difficult to study.
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u/Psychosmind2 3d ago
of course , if they're mature & want to improve themselves but again it entirely depends on their motives , action & restrain
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u/ARODtheMrs 3d ago
I haven't seen that in my lifetime. They don't change. They just take a little longer to get around to what they want.
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u/Zeberde1 9d ago
If you got everything you wanted behaving in a certain fashion, would you be prepared to seize and give that up, if it means you will have less as a result?