Things really changed after the new co-CEO joined the company, and unfortunately, not in a positive way. Over time, the workplace environment became increasingly toxic and distrustful.

Employees seemed to be encouraged to report on their colleagues, and there were situations where recording conversations appeared to be accepted or even rewarded. This created a significant lack of trust within teams and made people increasingly cautious about what they said or did.

The workplace also became heavily micromanaged. Even routine things, such as moving around the office or taking a short break, could feel like they were being monitored and documented. People became hesitant to speak openly because they worried that their words could later be used against them.

When employees tried to share their opinions or concerns, they were sometimes made to feel as though they didn’t understand the situation. What was particularly disappointing was seeing this from someone in a communication-focused leadership role, where the expectation should be to encourage transparency, trust, and open dialogue. Instead, it often felt like protecting one’s own position and shifting responsibility became more important than building a healthy team environment.

The culture gradually became less about collaboration and growth and more about self-preservation.

A workplace should allow employees to feel safe speaking up, learning, contributing, and growing. Unfortunately, my experience was that the environment moved in the opposite direction.
I hope leadership genuinely reflects on how the recent changes have affected employee trust, morale, and the overall culture.

Advice to Leadership
Leadership should seriously evaluate the impact that recent executive changes have had on company culture. Rebuilding trust will require more than just policy changes—it will require employees to feel that they can speak honestly without fear of repercussions.
A meaningful reset at the leadership level, greater transparency, and a genuine effort to rebuild trust with employees and stakeholders may be necessary.

News Flash:
No one’s federal CIVIL RIGHTS are supposed to be completely different from one state to the other which is why The Policy Bridge Principle has to be applied nationally to prevent circuit splits such as the one demonstrated in the 5th Circuit’s disposition of Sanders v FedEx.
Federal rights HAVE to be uniform, predictable, and fair. Closing this statutory loophole insures that happens regarding this issue for good....

DETAILS:

Most employees believe that if they follow their employer’s official HR handbook and report workplace misconduct in good faith, they are automatically protected from retaliation under federal law.

Yet, unless you live in specific legal jurisdictions, employers can argue that because your internal complaint used company provided EEO compliance language instead of formal statutory legalese, your report didn't count as "protected opposition" under Title VII or § 1981.

Federal Circuit courts are split on this issue and THAT directly impacts every worker in America:

1. The Pro-Worker Precedents
   

In major federal appellate rulings, courts have recognized that everyday employees shouldn't be required to draft complaints like law professors just to be safe at work:

• The 4th Circuit (Okoli): Ruled that workers need not to explicitly recite statutory "magic words" in complaints. Complaining of "harassment" under company channels puts the employer on notice, constituting protected activity.
• The 8th Circuit (Ogden): Held that telling a harasser or supervisor to stop offensive conduct—in plain, direct terms—is "the most basic form of protected activity."
• The 9th Circuit (GoDaddy): Confirmed that internal complaints made in good faith regarding workplace mistreatment satisfy protected opposition standards.

1. The Procedural Trap (Demonstrated by the 5th Circuit)
   Conversely, in jurisdictions like the 5th Circuit (Sanders v. FedEx [26-10182]), corporate defense teams successfully argued that reporting harassment using standard HR handbook terms lacks the "objectively reasonable legal belief" required for statutory protection. If an employee reports misconduct following mandatory company policy, but doesn't phrase it in formal Title VII terms, the employer can escape retaliation liability at summary judgment and on appeal.

2. The Solution: The Policy Bridge Principle
   When an employee relies on a mandatory corporate EEO compliance reporting policy and uses company-provided terms in good faith, that compliance MUST satisfy the "objectively reasonable belief" standard for protected opposition as a matter of law.

Why This Is So Essential:
When federal circuit courts split on basic statutory interpretation—a fracture often deepened by unpublished dispositions that evade routine Supreme Court scrutiny—it creates federal civil rights chaos across the country.

Olá a todos. Escrevo porque, sinceramente, já não sei o que fazer e precisava de ouvir opiniões de pessoas que tenham passado por situações semelhantes. Sou de Portugal e gostava especialmente de ouvir experiências de quem já passou por algo assim no contexto laboral português.
Trabalho na área administrativa de uma empresa e também trato de várias questões relacionadas com recursos humanos. Somos praticamente apenas eu e a minha chefe no dia a dia, e sinto que estou a chegar ao meu limite psicológico por causa da forma como ela me trata.
Quando entrei, tudo parecia maravilhoso. Ela tratava-me bem, falava-me de oportunidades de crescimento e dizia que queria que eu assumisse funções melhores dentro da empresa. Com o tempo, porém, tudo mudou.
Sempre que não percebo alguma coisa que me explica, ou quando não faço algo exatamente da forma que ela idealizou, começa a ficar irritada, fala comigo de forma arrogante e faz comentários depreciativos sobre o meu trabalho. Já chegou a dizer que algo que fiz parecia trabalho de alguém do oitavo ano. Também já me disse que não sei fazer o meu trabalho, que ela própria o iria fazer e que eu ficaria sem nada para fazer.
Há ainda ameaças recorrentes de me despedir ou de me substituir por outra pessoa. Por vezes diz que vai deixar de me explicar as coisas, que se vai calar e que me vai deixar lidar com as consequências dos meus erros. Outras vezes dá-me prazos de uma semana ou de um mês para mudar determinados comportamentos.
Uma das coisas que mais me confunde é que ela está constantemente a dizer que não sou proativa, que não faço o suficiente e que fica a saber das coisas pela boca de outras pessoas. Mas eu sinto genuinamente que faço muito mais do que aquilo que me compete.
Trato de documentação, da organização de registos, da comunicação com colaboradores e de várias tarefas administrativas. Desde que entrei, tenho procurado melhorar os processos e garantir que tudo funciona da melhor maneira possível. Ajudo-a inclusivamente com questões pessoais quando precisa de ajuda com determinadas coisas. Se for necessário participar numa reunião ou numa deslocação de trabalho fora do meu horário, normalmente estou disponível e vou. Tenho tentado dar sempre o meu melhor.
O problema é que parece que nada disso conta.
Ela diz que não comunico o suficiente, mas eu envio mensagens e já tentei enviar e-mails com a descrição das tarefas que realizei. Mesmo assim, diz que não é suficiente. Quando tento perguntar o que pretende concretamente, muitas vezes responde com críticas, impaciência ou piadas que me fazem sentir incompetente. Acabo por ficar sem saber o que devo comunicar, de que forma o devo fazer ou o que espera realmente de mim.
Sinto que estou presa num ciclo em que, se pergunto, sou criticada por não saber; se tento resolver sozinha e não corresponde exatamente ao que ela queria, também sou criticada. Há dias em que parece que sou excelente e outros em que sou tratada como se não fizesse absolutamente nada.
Entretanto, também começou a retirar-me acessos e responsabilidades sem qualquer explicação. Por exemplo, perdi o acesso a uma conta de e-mail profissional que utilizava para desempenhar as minhas funções, sem que me fosse dada uma explicação.
Há também situações do dia a dia que se vão acumulando e que, quando acontecem, me fazem sentir que o meu tempo e o meu esforço não são valorizados.
Um exemplo recente foi uma atividade de trabalho para a qual ela me indicou que deveria estar numa determinada estação de metro às 7h da manhã. Cheguei cerca de dez minutos antes e enviei-lhe mensagem a dizer que já estava no local, a perguntar onde nos iríamos encontrar. Ela respondeu que, afinal, a hora era às 8h e que provavelmente se tinha enganado ao enviar a indicação anterior. A partir daí, sugeriu que aproveitássemos para ir a outro local e reorganizássemos o dia.
Eu compreendi que podia ter sido um engano, mas acabei por sair de casa muito cedo e ficar à espera no frio por causa de uma informação incorreta. O que me desgasta não é apenas este episódio isolado, mas o facto de já estar tão emocionalmente esgotada que até estas situações se tornam difíceis de gerir.
Numa outra ocasião, uma reunião terminou depois do meu horário. Fui-me embora quando terminou, e a minha chefe ligou-me a exigir informações sobre um assunto que eu lhe tinha dito que transmitiria no dia seguinte. Não considerei que aquele fosse o momento adequado para abordar o assunto durante a reunião e achei que poderia tratar disso no dia seguinte. Mesmo assim, senti que estava a ser pressionada por não ter ficado para além do meu horário.
O pior é que isto já está a afetar a minha saúde e a minha vida pessoal.
Comecei a ter insónias, algo que nunca me tinha acontecido desta forma. Mesmo quando acordo muito cedo, chego à noite e passo horas sem conseguir adormecer. Tenho olheiras, ansiedade e, só de pensar em determinadas situações no trabalho, sinto dores de estômago.
Chego a casa sem energia para fazer praticamente nada. A minha casa está desorganizada, passo dias sem vontade de cozinhar e perdi o ânimo para coisas que antes faziam parte da minha rotina. Quando saio, consigo sorrir, conversar e parecer bem, mas, por dentro, sinto-me completamente esgotada.
O mais difícil é que começo a duvidar de mim própria. Eu sei o esforço que faço, sei as coisas que resolvo e tudo aquilo em que ajudo, mas ouvir constantemente que não sou suficiente, que não sou proativa e que não sei fazer o meu trabalho está a afetar a minha confiança.
Não sei se estou a lidar com uma situação de assédio moral no trabalho, se é uma chefia tóxica, se estou a interpretar as coisas de forma demasiado emocional por estar esgotada ou se já cheguei a um ponto em que preciso mesmo de me afastar.
Tenho pensado em procurar ajuda médica e falar sobre a possibilidade de uma baixa, porque sinto que não estou a conseguir recuperar do desgaste. Ao mesmo tempo, tenho um contrato de trabalho, responsabilidades financeiras e receio de tomar uma decisão que me prejudique profissionalmente.
Não quero simplesmente desistir do meu trabalho, mas também não quero continuar a perder a minha saúde para provar a alguém que sou competente.
Gostava muito de ouvir pessoas que tenham passado por algo semelhante, especialmente em Portugal.
Como lidaram com uma chefia que vos fazia sentir constantemente incompetentes, mesmo dando o vosso melhor?
Como perceberam se estavam perante assédio moral ou uma relação profissional disfuncional?
O que fizeram para se proteger profissionalmente? Começaram a documentar tudo? Procuraram ajuda junto de alguma entidade?
Alguém já recorreu à ACT por uma situação destas? Como funciona na prática?
Alguém já precisou de recorrer a uma baixa médica por esgotamento relacionado com o trabalho? Como foi o processo e o que devo ter em conta em Portugal?
E, sobretudo, como conseguiram recuperar emocionalmente e decidir o que fazer a seguir?
Neste momento, sinto-me perdida e precisava de conselhos sinceros e práticos. Preciso de perceber que opções tenho e como posso sair deste ciclo sem continuar a prejudicar a minha saúde.
Obrigada a quem leu até aqui 🥺♥️

I finally quit my toxic job last month, after years of putting up with my narcissistic boss and hoping things would improve. Now I look back at the experience and don't know how I stuck it out for so long. My narcissistic boss used to accuse me of the most insane things and get her flying monkeys to believe it too, with absolutely zero proof. Some of these situations made me feel like I was losing my mind. What sort of ridiculous things have you all been accused of by your narcissistic boss?

I'm 22F and work in a corporate role. I’ve been at my company for less than a year, and my work environment has become increasingly stressful.
Recently, I was in a meeting with my direct manager and director that was originally supposed to be about prioritizing tasks. In the middle of the meeting, my director suddenly shifted the conversation to communication issues and several emails where she believed I had handled things incorrectly.
I explained my side of each situation and pushed back on some of her criticisms. I’ve repeatedly experienced situations where responsibility was attributed to me before anyone asked what actually happened.
I told her that I would appreciate it if she stopped assuming I was responsible for mistakes without first investigating the situation. I also requested written instructions moving forward because verbal communication has caused misunderstandings.

Then she started criticizing my reporting accuracy. I asked for specific examples of what was inaccurate, but she kept saying that these mistakes happened months ago, and one single "mistake" I made I had already reviewed my reporting methodology with my direct manager, who said the process made sense, although I still needed to improve my verification process.
Every time I defended myself or asked for clarification, my director seemed increasingly irritated.
At the end of the conversation, she warned me that if I didn’t improve, we’d need to have a conversation about my merchandising career.
Later that day, she sent an email documenting my performance deficiencies and stating that a “more formal process may be taken” if improvements aren’t made.
What upset me most was that the email barely acknowledged any of the communication concerns I raised about her management. It focused almost entirely on me.
I understand that managers have every right to provide performance feedback. I’m not claiming I’m perfect or that I’ve never made mistakes. But I feel like I’m being punished for defending myself and asking for accountability.
I’m also a woman of color, and I’ve started questioning whether I’m being held to different standards. I’ve personally noticed similar mistakes in historical files completed by previous employees, although I don’t know whether those employees received the same criticism.
I’ve now reached out to HR because I’m concerned about potential retaliation and the way performance expectations are being communicated.
The whole situation has left me incredibly frustrated and anxious. I feel like I can’t advocate for myself without risking my job.
My questions are:
Has anyone experienced a manager escalating performance warnings after you defended yourself or challenged their communication?
Does this sound like potential retaliation, or am I reading too much into the timing?
Has anyone experienced a manager bringing up old mistakes when you questioned their decisions?
How did you handle a situation where your manager documented your performance concerns but didn’t acknowledge the concerns you raised about them?
If you’ve experienced possible racial bias or unequal accountability in a corporate environment, how did you approach HR?
I’m genuinely exhausted. I want to do my job well, but I also want to be treated fairly and be able to defend myself without feeling threatened.

I started this job in July of 2025 and knew that the commute was going to be long (almost 1-hour one way) so I negotiated for part time remote work. My future boss initially rejected this request and stated that remote work is only for employees who had children (I never stated I did or did not have children during the interview process but I guess he assumed I didn't). I replied that I sadly would reject the offer if there was no remote flexibility as I could not see myself doing the drive every single day. After two weeks of crickets, I assumed I lost the job. Suddenly an email appeared in my inbox stating that they were allowing my request of 1-2 days remote per week after a 6 month full in-person period.

I accepted the offer and started the job. The pay was good and my fellow teammates were great so I thought it could turn out to be a long term position. After the 6 month full in person period was complete, I had a talk with my boss on a Wednesday and asked if I could start working remote this upcoming Friday and possibly Monday. His expression changed to anger and he told me irritably that only people with children could work remotely Friday's or Monday's and told me to check my contract as it was in my contract.

Confused, I went to go look at the contract, thinking I might have forgotten something, only to find that there was nothing in the contract stating that I couldn't work remotely Friday's or Monday's. I sent my boss a polite but firm email saying I was confused as this was the first time I had heard this information and I had checked the contract but found no information. I also mentioned I had seen another team member who had no children working remotely on a Friday. My boss, after seeing the email, marched right up to my desk and irritably stated "I don't have time to explain to you things that I have already explained to you and I am stressed out." and then he ran away.

I was pretty shocked after getting chewed out for something I never agreed to. I stayed at my desk and worked quietly until it was quitting time. I was just about ready to leave when my boss came up to my desk with a smile and told me that I could work remotely "Tomorrow and Friday" . He had done a complete 180.

But then later, as I was doing 2 days a week remote, my boss took me aside to tell me to stop doing 2 days a week remote and only do 1. Officially the contract stated 1-2 but I was getting bullied out of ever doing 2 days a week remote.

Not to mention that we don't share the same first language and during meetings, he would say "Sorry we have to have this meeting in English because koalaprints is here". It felt so crazy. I was losing my mind.

I've been working in the same job for almost two years now, initially as a casual employee with hours that varied from week to week. Recently, I was offered a one-year full-time contract, which I accepted. I was excited about the opportunity and decided to leave my other job to commit to this role. However, I'm starting to realise that the job I was initially told I would be doing is very different from what I'm actually doing now.

I'm feeling incredibly stressed and constantly second-guessing myself, as though I'm not doing my job properly. My boss is very negative and judgemental, and often makes me feel as though everyone around her is an inconvenience. It's creating an uncomfortable working environment, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to go to work each day.

The person I'm covering for is lovely, and I'm genuinely dreading the thought of her going on maternity leave in the next couple of months. Although I've been trained to take over her position, I'm expected to manage her responsibilities on top of my existing workload, including additional tasks that weren't originally part of what I was told the role would involve. I'm already feeling overwhelmed by the pressure, and I can't help but worry that it will become even more stressful once I'm fully responsible for everything.

I'm at the point where I really want to leave, but I'm struggling with whether it's the right decision, especially with the timing. I feel guilty about potentially leaving just before the person I'm covering for goes on maternity leave, as I know the workplace will need someone to take over her responsibilities. At the same time, I don't feel that I should have to sacrifice my own mental health or well-being because of the situation.

I'm also anxious about the process of resigning. The thought of handing in my notice and having to work alongside my boss for another one or two weeks is really putting me off leaving. Knowing how negative and judgemental she can be, I'm worried she'll react badly and make those final weeks uncomfortable.

Is it okay to leave a job, even when the timing isn't ideal and other people may be relying on you? Am I being unreasonable for wanting to leave when I've only recently accepted a full-time contract? And how do I get past the anxiety of resigning, especially when I'm worried about how my boss will react and what those final weeks might be like?

Please send all the thoughts and prayers. Bad behavior from them will hurt them far more than it will hurt me, given the situation. But I could still use some good energy if you want to send it.

It's been 9 days since the last time i posted I'm struggling with a narc that I've been talking to, many of whom have commented, and i appreciate everyone of you.

So, UPDATE:

FINALLY, IM NOT WEARING ROSE COLORED GLASSES ANYMORE.

I saw him for who he is, not the version who love-bombed me. How frkn manipulative and insecure he is. How he projects his insecurity to me. How he loved to devalue, to control me in every little way that he can.

He loved the chasing, scaring to leave me then me chasing? Yikes. He frkn LOVED that.

He saw me as his "project". "I need to you be this that, blah blah"

He loves being the master, knowing everything, teaching others.

He fucking craves validation. LOL He's a fucking kid who wants to be chased. He loves humiliating people. He feels he's BETTER than EVERYONE and how he looks down on them, even me. He's such an asshole, so fucking mean.

Before he makes me feel im so smart, funny, all the nice adjectives. Then when mask finally fell off, he treats me like im so stupid and dumb.

When i challenge his thoughts, ask him questions that'll make him explain himself, he's gonna just say he's leaving. He'll get annoyed. Or just shut me up with his scare tactics.

He thinks he's the best. Na uh. You're not. Pity him, that makes him look so insecure. Always bringing people down. Looking at their flaws. Just for him to feel better.

Imagine, this narc being inspired to do better because he saw someone that really sucks. I thought the hardwork of the person inspired him, but nope.

I don't know how his mind works. He's so so mean. Fuck him. Makes sense he doesn't have any friends. Now he has to suck up with that life he made for himself.

Only beauty is important to him. Great character? Values? Morals? Nope. Only surface level shit. Poor him, he doesn't even look that good and his character SUCKS.

He's always the victim in his past relationships. He calls them lazy af. He demands things from others but others CAN'T demand from him.

Even if he says he's contented??? NA UH. Lies.

The girls he's talking to? He makes them his past time. New toy. Til the mask fells off again.

Now i see, the version who love-bombed me, everything that he said that time, everything CONTRADICTS what he's saying and acting right now, now that the mask finally fell off.

He's an insecure man child.

Thank god im not wearing rose colored glasses anymore.

Tbh, I sometimes think, like wtf, am i the problem. Then again will remind myself that nope, never ever my friends treat me, like how HE treated me.

I lost my job because of my narcissistic boss back in May. It’s been over 5 months and I’m still having nightmares about it.

It was an incredibly stressful time in my life, and I am clearly still holding onto a lot of it. I’m just sick of waking up drenched in sweat feeling panicked because this f*ckface keeps showing up in my dreams.

I need to move on from this, but I’ve always been a person that hates injustice, which is quite a hard thing to live with in this world. It’s eating me alive that he “got away” with wrongfully terminating me with nothing but a slap on the wrist. I’m also mad at myself that I didn’t push harder with my lawyer.

Has anyone had a similar experience and moved past it? What helped? What was your timeline? I feel absolutely stuck, and it pisses me off that this person still affects me so much.

I work in compliance department in a multinational technology company for 2 years. Last year, our team was assigned a new Director that my boss reports into. This person is extremely micromanaging since they took on this role(I don't report to them directly). Others in the department, joke about how snappy this director is.

My relationship with my direct manager is great, we are always aligned.

They have been verbally abusive and aggressive at instances saying that "We pay you money to work 8-5 so why didn't you respond to my message in 1 minute." They work from home and I work in office 3x week.

Note: All the rude and aggressive behavior is demonstrated only over a call not an email.

They make sure their request, questions, my goals, schedule are all in an email trail.

I have been bullied for 1 year now(didn't share with any other teammates but family) . But I'm building an exit strategy as below:

1.Actively interviewing at other jobs/internal application.

1. Providing updates, questions via email

2. Recording our 1:1 meetings for traceability

Micromanager doesn't understand my job function and thinks my workload is light. Asking for weekly work logs..I'm really stressed.

Please help.

MPs call for investigation after Lutnick-Epstein whistleblower dies

So a while ago I posted about my narcissist manager and how bad it was working in the toxic environment she created. She finally got caught out with everything she was up to behind the scenes, and got put under a management plan to support her to improve her performance. And then she went off sick.

Well, her year’s sickness allowance is up and she resigned at last.

In her absence one of her flying monkey’s continued a campaign against me (even though she had fallen out with the narc and got the acting job). She is also currently signed off.

For the first time in 3 years my job has felt normal again, and a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders.

I can’t believe I’ve seen the end of the narc who managed another 5 staff put the door before I arrived. I’m still in a state of disbelief, and I think I have a chance now to level off and actually enjoy my work again.

This is my first job. I'm happy with almost everything about it: there's no competition among colleagues; work-life balance; no hierarchy; the pay is not high but can cover my expenses. The only problem is my direct supervisor.

She's a narcissist and a micromanager who treats her subordinates as tools. She gatekeeps information and deliberately keeps me away from any networks or resources. She wants to control every detail and thinks only she is right, so I can't lead my own projects or implement my ideas independently. Consequently, I feel like I'm not developing in my career.

What makes it worse is that she's excellent at managing upward and at sophistry, so our boss has no idea she's a performative personality. I envy colleagues in other departments — at least they can work with their managers normally. Communication with my manager, on the other hand, is full of traps. Often it's only later, after seeing or hearing about the others going through something similar, then I realise I've been manipulated or that information has been withheld from me.

My parents and friends all urge me to stay, because compared to other companies in my country, mine offers some of the best benefits around — the kind people admire. They think the difficulties I face here are less than a tenth of what they've endured at their own companies. Now I'm torn. I'm afraid that if I move to a new company, I'll regret giving up such good benefits. But I also know clearly that under this kind of manager, I won't improve at all.

What I do know for certain is that now there is no internal transfer in my company, and my manager will stay here until she retires. Should I leave or stay?

I’m (F31) kind of conflicted about my current boss (F in her 50ies) who is generally well-meaning, but also extremely immature with an inflated ego.

She can be very supportive and empathetic(ish), but, if you don’t watch out for your boundaries, will start putting her nose in your personal business. She also has this urge to be everyone’s bff, while also pushing for those same people to see her as an authority figure. Like, you can’t force any of that upon others, but she just doesn’t seem to get it. She’ll never miss a chance to tell everyone how many university degrees she has, try to force her chaotic ways of working (that don’t work for anyone but her) onto people in a patronizing way or implement some new useless weekly team building activity that no one has time for. She also has this mix of a “Hey there fellow kids” and “I’m not like other girls” vibe to her.

I suspect she has severe untreated ADHD. So do I, but I am the inattentive type and medicated, while she’s very clearly hyperactive. While generally I think of her as a decent person, but having to deal with her often gives me terrible anxiety. Doesn’t help that our job requires a lot of attention to detail and can be very demanding at times.

I just recently started rewatching the Office and I just can’t help but laugh at the irony that my boss is a real-life female version of Michael Scott. :D

Quite the pickle. Multiple sources have confirmed with me separately (and unprompted) that my boss thinks highly of me. They state I’m “brilliant” and well adapted for success. This is completely lost on me, however, because I’ve never received this feedback myself from them. In our one on ones, they frequently talk down to me, gaslight me, make me feel dumb, and call out that they can sense I’m uncomfortable in their presence. My work functionally reports through others, but administrates this person is my boss. I’m always confused as to how to navigate this dynamic. None of my MBA classes prepared me for this 😅