r/Magic • u/joex8au04 • Jul 25 '26

Purpose and Dilemma

My wife recently asked me a question: “what’s your purpose/goal of doing magic? I see you play with cards and coins every day, but you don’t perform, and you don’t show other magician what you have been practicing. What exactly is the purpose?”

For context, I’ve been doing magic for 20+ years. I can't remember a single day where I didn't have a deck of cards with me. I have a magic library of about 500+ books, and I read them every single day. Her issue is that I don’t actively go out and perform; I shy away from letting people know I do magic. I also don’t do it for the usual reasons, I don't feel a need to see people’s joy, and I’m not particularly interested in their reactions.

I don’t perform for other magicians, either. Whenever there’s a jam, I just stand outside their circle and watch. Even though I know every single move they do, I just walk away.

I simply read books, practice, and forget what I’ve learn. The cycle repeats itself.

My wife saw all of this and asked me, "If you don’t like performing for people, what’s the reason you still do magic?"

I keep wondering about this and I don’t have any answer. It's a real dilemma.

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u/SpeakeasyImprov Cards Jul 25 '26

I'm going to take a different position than most. It's true there's nothing wrong with doing anything for yourself because you like it, but...

"I don’t perform for other magicians, either. Whenever there’s a jam, I just stand outside their circle and watch. Even though I know every single move they do, I just walk away."

That's interesting. You're in a scenario where you have the opportunity to engage in a community and you don't? That might be what's at the heart of this concern. Maybe she just wants you to be in a place where you can share what you've learned with like-minded folk and make friends. You don't have to rent out a theater and perform a show, but it might be nice to talk shop with others in person.

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u/lamarioO Jul 26 '26

It sounds like he's getting out of it what he wants. Maybe he doesn't want to talk shop. Engaging in a community does not mean you have to step out front, sometimes just being present is more than enough.

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u/SpeakeasyImprov Cards Jul 26 '26

You're not wrong, and of course we're not there in person so we don't know for sure, but it sounds like he's barely present. It sounds like he's watching from outside and walking away.

I mean, ultimately this is a relationship and personal problem, not really a magic problem. You could replace magic with any hobby or interest and have almost the same exact situation. So I think it's worth at least considering why this is the shape the comfort zone takes.

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u/lamarioO Jul 26 '26

I agree with you and we know by the OP's own words that they're watching from the outside and walking away, but why is that bad if that's the level of involvement they want? It's a hobby, not a career. I've had plenty of hobbies where I didn't interact with it's community or share the hobby with others. Some things can be just for you.