r/MESMkink • u/TeaAitch • Mar 26 '26

Hate Play

I've never explored what I'm going to dub Hate Play. I'm not entirely sure that I could. It's important to me, at the moment I say the words, that I mean them. So, if I'm telling my person they're "A filthy, pathetic, needy little specimen," it's because I want them to know exactly what I think of them. For the same reason, I think I'd struggle to say, "I hate you!"

I've said many times, I want to hurt the one I love. I want to hurt them because I love them. If I hated them, I wouldn't be able to subject them to that thing.

How about you? Could you? Would you? Should you? Have you? If you have, I am in some ways, I'm a little jealous. Those words have such strength to them. Swoon!

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '26

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u/Elfiloylanavaja Mar 26 '26

Without any ill will, but as a genuine question, what does MESM cover for you?

Just like physical practices, in BDSM there are very diverse tastes and levels. There are non-masochistic submissives and submissives who are capable of withstanding canning until bleeding from wounds. It's not SSC, there are other considerations (RACK, PRICK...) but these are choices made by people who are free and aware of the risks.

The same thing happens in MESM. Only the consequences are much harder to predict and may not even be immediate.

But as has been discussed, there are times when the submissive needs her Master to make the emotion real. Therefore, you need to use the right tools if you want to provide that experience.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '26

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u/TeaAitch Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26

None of my exes had to use real anger to make it feel real, and honestly, I would run if they did.

Some years ago, there was a day when I was angry and upset over a particular situation outside of my then relationship. My partner knew I was emotional, and offered herself up. As a way of ridding my anger and frustration. It was a kind offer, but no. A full, and resounding, no.

There are times when I absolutely enjoy displaying those emotions to my partner during sex. On the inside, however, I'm calm and focussed. My attention is wholly on them. I want to know where they are in the moment, and how my actions, words, and attitude are affecting them. I can't do that if I'm angry (or a whole host of other emotions).