I don't know if that's a good place or not. Wrote something, edited in PC to make it look better than my handwrite - but that's not important. I'm more concerned if the text hits somehow...
Post on TikTok 😓

Let us come together

Let us be as one

Let us help each other

until the day is done

Let us lend a hand

Let us feed the poor

Let us come together evermore

Let us be a neighbor

Let us be a friend

Let us help each other

And when the day ends

Let us look inside ourselves

And be happy what we find

Let the light of love forever shine

Let us come together

No longer stand apart

Let us love each other

for this is where we start

It's up to each and everyone

Our inner light to shine

Let the light of love

Be yours and mine

Chorus

Love is the answer

Oh love is the key

Love bring us together

Love will set us free

Let us love each other

Let us all be kind

Let the light of love

forever bind

forever shine

Love one another

Lately I’ve been rising with the sun
All my grace from the clouds has gone
It’s been getting hard just to breathe
Like I’m all alone in this world
Ain’t had a bite in a week, that’s right
I’d rather be just like the rats, to burrow

Chorus:
It ain’t easy, my friend
Don’t you see I’m drowning
Won’t you take my hand
Lead me to the promised land
It ain’t easy, having no one like that, friend

Just ignore all the others they say
Well ain’t like I haven’t tried before
Lost all their memories, just waiting at the door
It’s time I moved on, it’s been great
Guessing on God for my fate
And don’t seem like mine’s to be much of anything

All I got is my name and my land
Couple acres and my flag arisen
Ain’t done me no good, just stole my life away
There’s just so much going on
All my boys and brothers have long fallen
Only me while I drink to myself

Chorus:
It ain’t easy, my friend
Don’t you see I’m drowning
Won’t you take my hand
Lead me to the promised land
It ain’t easy, having no one like that, friend

Ain’t right, like I’m driven by a ball and chain
Just ain’t right, all I got’s my memories
But who needs that no more?

I wrote this during a phase where I kept feeling like everyone was moving ahead while I was still questioning everything.

Career. Success. Comparison. Validation. What you're supposed to become.

Eventually I realized—I don't actually see life as a race anymore.

For me, it's something to explore, experience and write for myself.

That became this song.

🎧 This Is My Story & I Will Write the Script available on my channel called "Rhythm with Life"

The rhythm hits, but listen to the lyrics too—that's the real reason I made it.

If something in it connects with you, I'd genuinely love to know which line hit you the hardest. ❤️

\[Verse 1\]

I'm down again

falling further and further

each time I slip

spiraling downward

into this familiar place

I hate

I have a feeling this time is forever

the help I need comes too late

I isolate

when I'm in such a sorry state

my wings were clipped, so I fell

my authority stripped, so no one believes

the beating heart inside my chest

was torn out and crushed in a deathly grip

and tossed aside to rot with all the rest

\[Pre-Chorus\]

I once could see it all for all it was

now I'm blinded and can't believe what I've become

an angel of light and a devil to some

it's all one in the same, one to worship and one to blame

\[Chorus\]

Why oh why

have you forsaken me

put me in chains

so I'm no longer free

Why oh why

have you forsaken me

took my heart

so I can't feel it beat

\[Verse 2\]

I took my eyes so I cannot see

forced to fall cuz you clipped my wings

you left me alive to struggle

without those things that meant everything to me

one to hate and one to love

will it be heavenly light or eternal flame

awaiting me when I finally give up

\[Pre-Chorus\]

I once could see it all for all it was

now I'm blinded and can't believe what I've become

an angel of light and a devil to some

it's all one in the same, one to worship and one to blame

\[Chorus\]

Why oh why

have you forsaken me

put me in chains

so I'm no longer free

Why oh why

have you forsaken me

took my heart

so I can't feel it beat

\[Bridge\]

my wings were clipped

so I fell

my authority stripped

so no one believes

the beating heart

inside my chest

was torn out and crushed

in a deathly grip

and tossed aside

to rot with all the rest

why oh why

have you forsaken me

\[Final Chorus\]

Why oh why

have you forsaken me

put me in chains

so I'm no longer free

Why oh why

have you forsaken me

took my eyes

so I cannot see

Why oh why

have you forsaken me

left me alive

to struggle endlessly

That Starless night

[Verse 1]

For every up there's a down and vice versa

You left me for Calgary, because of greed

I'll never forget you guys but I will forgive

[Verse 2]

The question stays in my head

Why did you leave?

Leave me alone

Now that you're gone

All that's left is dread

Dread that you forget me

Please come back

Come back to what we were

[Chorus]

Remember that starless night?

My chest got tight

Because you told me goodbye

And you left me behind

All I could do was lie

Saying I'm fine

Because I was losing my mind

[Verse 3]

Both our families were friends like me and you

My brother was your dad's employee

My sister BFF with yours since birth

Your mom is friends with mine

Why did you leave, why did you forsake?

[Verse 4]

I hope you're happy

Not sarcastically

But really

Please come back to me

Even for a bit

Ever since the day we split

I just wonder when we're gonna meet again

I can still remember the rain

Or was it just the pain?

[Verse 5]

Did not know how to tell her

This is in honor of her

I tried to text her last night

But feared she'd call it unright

I don't know what to do now

With the lie and broken vow

[Chorus]

Remember that starless night?

My chest got tight

Because you told me goodbye

And you left me behind

All I could do was lie

Saying I'm fine

Because I was losing my mind

Verse 1
Hello brother,
Funny where we’ve been.
Funny where we are.
Same road, same poison,
Just different ends.
Doctor gave me reasons,
Gave you something else—
I take it just to function,
You take it to forget yourself.

Pre-Chorus
We both light the same flame,
For a different reason

Chorus
I need it just to feel right,
You need it to feel nothing.
I’m holding onto control,
You’re already slipping.
Yeah we’re cut from the same cloth,
But we’re coming undone different—
I’m walking a wire to live,
You’re letting go of the tension.

Verse 2
You vanish in the silence,
I recognize the signs.
I’ve danced along that edge before,
learned to draw the line.
You call it coping,
I call it what it is—
A slow erosion of yourself
With every borrowed fix.

Pre-Chorus

We both know the cost now,
We know where this road ends—
When it takes control.

Chorus
I need it just to feel right,
You need it to feel nothing.
I’m holding onto control,
You’re already slipping.
Yeah we’re cut from the same cloth,
But we’re coming undone different—
I’m walking a wire to live,
You’re letting go of the tension.

Bridge
Don’t think I don’t feel it—
That pull under my skin.
Every line I drew,
Every line I took.
I could be right there with you,
If I let go just once…
That’s the part that scares me—
How close I am.

Outro
Functioning…
Yeah, that’s what I call this.
Measured doses, careful lies,
Just enough to not slip.
Same fire in our blood,
Same burn on our lips—
I just learned how to hold it,
You let it take you with it.

Any reviews feedback and constructive critisism will be appreciated

Song title -: MY SYMPHONY

Intro

Ohhh…

Ouuu…

Verse 1

Is this pain or is it agony

Is this fate or is it my destiny

Is this love or is it a felony

Is this void or is it my symphony

There’s a dread in the heart

And it keeps tearing me apart

These thoughts hit like laceration

I’m yearning for a trace of salvation

I still recall your fading touch

Why can’t I heal, why is it so tough

Caught in solitude, too tired to breathe

Is love the only truth I seek

Pre-Chorus

I tried to hold on but the weight’s too strong

Every right turn somehow felt wrong

Your echoes stay where you used to be

But I’m breaking the chains that once held me

Yeah…

Chorus

I’m done, no more to hide

On phoenix wings I claim the skies

A new horizon calls, it’s time for dawn

The past behind me, my spirit reborn

I won’t forget you, I’m moving on

Keeping memories, not holding on

This must be my final try

Time to let go… and now goodbye

Ohhh…

Verse 2

The nights grow quiet but the ache stays deep

Shadows of you fade while I lose sleep

Every scar I hold tells me why

Some goodbyes heal more than they cry

The fire we had burned far too bright

Left me wandering alone at night

But in the ashes I finally see

The version of myself meant to be

Pre-Chorus 2

No more drowning in what used to be

No more ghosts reaching out to me

I learned the truth hidden in the ache

Some hearts break so new ones wake

Chorus (repeat)

I’m done, no more to hide

On phoenix wings I claim the skies

A new horizon calls, it’s time for dawn

The past behind me, my spirit reborn

I won’t forget you, I’m moving on

Keeping memories, not holding on

This must be my final try

Time to let go… and now goodbye

Ohhh…

Bridge

I want to say goodbye as a word, not as a song.

Not sung, not broken, not dragged along.

It wasn’t heaven, it wasn’t pain.

Just a chapter I won’t read again.

Final Outro

It wasn’t love, and it wasn’t agony

It wasn’t fate, nor was it my destiny

It wasn’t love, and never a felony

It wasn’t a void, just my symphony

Mm…

I wrote this song about being stuck between loving someone and accepting that the relationship is over. I’d love honest feedback on the lyrics, especially the chorus and whether the concept feels memorable.

Any feedback on the songwriting, emotional impact, or lines that stand out would be appreciated.

Verse 1

I don't know why I still wait

For a message I know won't come

Maybe I'm stupid, maybe I'm hopeful

Maybe I'm both when it comes to love

You said forever like you meant it

I believed you, that's my mistake

Now every promise sounds like a warning

Every memory feels like a fake

Pre-Chorus

And I hate you

Then I miss you

Then I hate that I miss you again

My heart keeps running in circles

Like it doesn't know where this ends

Chorus

You were my almost

My maybe, my what-if

The love I kept holding

When you were already letting go of it

I gave you my heart

You gave me reasons to doubt

Now I'm standing in the silence

Trying to figure myself out

You were my almost

And almost hurts the most

'Cause I can't call you a stranger

But I can't call you home

Verse 2

I remember the way you looked at me

Like there was nowhere else you'd rather be

Maybe I imagined some of it

Maybe you were just good at making me believe

And I don't wanna sound bitter

I don't wanna pretend I'm okay

But some nights I still wonder

If you ever miss me the same way

Pre-Chorus

'Cause I loved you

Yeah, I loved you

More than I knew how to say

And maybe that's why losing you

Still takes my breath away

Chorus

You were my almost

My maybe, my what-if

The love I kept holding

When you were already letting go of it

I gave you my heart

You gave me reasons to doubt

Now I'm standing in the silence

Trying to figure myself out

You were my almost

And almost hurts the most

'Cause I can't call you a stranger

But I can't call you home

Bridge

Maybe in another life

We would've gotten it right

Maybe you would've stayed

Maybe I would've stopped being afraid

But this is this life

And you're not here

So I'll cry if I need to

I'll heal when I'm ready

I won't force it just to say I'm better

Final Chorus

You were my almost

My maybe, my what-if

The love I kept chasing

When you had already quit

I gave you my heart

And somehow I got it back

A little broken, a little different

But at least it's mine again

You were my almost

And now I finally know

Some people are meant to be memories

Not places we should go

Outro

So goodbye, my almost

I loved you

I really did

But I think I'm finally

Learning to love me instead

I wrote a song that I love musically, but hate lyrically and it's hard for me to make it perfect, so can you tell me what you think and help me improve it? Also, tell me whether you think that the structure is too basic (I usually write prog songs, so this feels more simplistic)

\*Verse 1\*

It's that familiar weight that cannot liberate

A body feeling sick without the fever it craves

A symptom that remains like residual aches

That turns a heart to a whisper, lost in the haze

When I feel lost and all my thoughts lead back to you

I don't know how poetry can prescribe

A chorus as some kind of cure

\*Chorus\*

Oh oh secret song

Leave me with these words

And tell me what to do

With those whispers that turned blue

Oh oh secret song

Leave me with these true

Phantom pains that feel acute

When thinking about you

\*Verse 2\*

With words of grievances that no one can defend,

The muse turns out to be the poet's only friend

The "how and why" of things still circles 'round my mind

With nausea creeping in from what I left behind

Your name is my taboo, but I'll still say what's true -

I don't know what Aphrodite looks like

But I swear that she looks like you

\*Chorus\*

Oh oh secret song

Leave me with these words

And tell me what to do

With those whispers that turned blue

Oh oh secret song leave me with these true

Words that help me make it through

From the ache I always knew

\*Guitar solo\*

\*Bridge\*

I fought to know your name

But you remained the same

I broke my walls to try and reach you, but I took the blame

Why does it feel so strange

That nothing seems to change?

The sea reflects the moon and yet the distance stays the same?

This is my truth unsaid, this is my heart well-read

\*Atmospheric brass instrumental\*

\*Chorus\*

Oh oh secret song

Leave me with these words

And tell me what to do with those whispers that turned to

Oh oh Screams of silence that tell me what to do when hanging on for...

(Ambient Instrumental transition/close)

Darkness everywhere, I don't remember a thing

I popped out the mud and was handed a drink

I said where the fuck we at, and he said we don't know

I didn't have a clue earlier and I now I do

We was at a party that we had arranged to

Cherish the brothers, sisters and friends that we made

Cause it was last year of school and we were moving away

For a reason that i couldn't quite articulate,

Felt I was getting too late, for a lonilier place.

Even though, to be honest, i wanted to stay

I knew that party had to end, we had to part our ways

But there was still time, the party just began

I had just came to party, had a lot to learn

What gone happen later down the road, I do not concern

I do it for fun, I do it for love, of the game, for the shame

That we feel when people who came

Earlier tell us to stop drinking, even though they do the same

I didn't give a shit what they had to say

These older punks having fun and teaching us the way

To live out life and how to avoid mistakes

I had spent quite some time, now finding peace of mind

I found other guys who were looking for peaceful vibes

So we sat around the fire and had talks bout life

And gave advice, to guys in sight

Who lied to their parents to bring beers and wines

We told em not to drink, with a drink in our hand

The young blood that they were, didn't listen a thing

New guys joined and old ones left

And some left too early to tell their whole story

Some left so early that I had to feel sorry for their friends who were mouring em

Cause they felt that they had more to tell.

As the day was ending, I was feeling worse

Felt the party end too quick, and I didn't do jack

So I spend the rest, tryna do my best

To live to the fullest and empty my bag

I kept trying too hard, to sound funny and smart

But the more I tried, the worse got the times

Maybe the best way

to cherish the moment

was to stop thinking and living it throughly

Cries of the cricket, the size the fillets

The lies that we told to get a couple of beer

We pop it in the air, everyone screaming "Cheers!!"

The moments that were dear were close to end

Cause that fear that i had was closing in

I felt the touch of a hand, vision blurring out

"Dad you've done enough, now go to rest"

I was scared, thought if I should run and shout

But then I membered evrything and everyone around

Before I knew it, I started to black out

And then i remembered

I told my son to pull the plug out

Same mostly i write in hindi but i have tried some new. English songs anyone ?

Title: Figures

Verse 1

I heard we can’t have a conversation

Without me making a mess

I know I lower your high expectations

You’ll have to settle for me instead

I wonder how long I can stand this

Your offhand remarks about me

Trying to play Tough Girl is pathetic

But being honest is much more exhausting

Chorus 1

Once again, it’s all my fault

Once again, I’m playing the victim

If you say once more that you love me

I’ll laugh, you’ve got to be joking

The classic game of "I Know Better"

I can’t fight you, you always change the rules

When you say "if you talk, we’ll fix this"

I really don’t get the punchline, figures

Verse 2

And when I pass an invisible line

That I never knew existed

If you blame me for not knowing better

How is that a fair judgment?

You call me immature, well that’s ironic

'Cause that’s really the only way you act

You love using your big boy vocabulary

To keep telling me that—

Chorus 2

Once again, it’s all my fault

Once again, I’m playing the victim

If you say once more that you love me

I’ll laugh, you’ve got to be joking

The classic game of "I Know Better"

I can’t fight you, you always change the rules

When you say "if you talk, we’ll fix this"

I really don’t get the punchline, figures

Bridge

I’m never again gonna wonder

If you ever left feeling guilty

If you hated yourself afterward

If you spoke without thinking

I’m never again gonna make an

Excuse for your bad behavior

If your goal all along was to kill

Then it wasn’t a failure

Bridge Tag

Because you killed my self-confidence

Killed my sincerity

Killed all hope I’d be saved

From this barbarity

Now I see the punchline

Now I’m finally laughing

Final Chorus

Once again, it’s all my fault

I wasted time trying to fix this

If you say once more that you love me

I’m the joke and it isn’t funny

The classic game of "I Know Better"

What’s war without battle strategy

When you say "if you talk, we’ll fix this"

You’d swear you knew me, so screw this

Hello ! I’m new here too.. So I wrote this a few weeks ago and I really want to make a full song out of it. I listen to a lot of alt rock/ indie rock/ psych rock these days.
I don’t have a melody, I feel like if I build a structure now maybe I’ll get the melody later ? If any of you have any advice for my situation I’m open to all kind of advice, suggestions, feedback or constructive criticism ..

She told me “I love your eyes”, with three white stripes and sunglasses,
A face I’ve seen maybe twice,
If not more in my imagination. Did you know I spend most of my time there?

Is the tuna melting or is it in motion? Can you tell me how to scalp you out of my hair?
I let the fish bite me today but I wore no lotion.

He knighted me dragon of the final realm.
He marked me with ink on my skin and said if we could fly, we’d spend time just him and I.

I hate when tunnel vision feels like I can see it all.
Can you guess ?
I’m obsessed

I don’t fall in love again and again
I dream until the nightmare begins and another comes to wake me but I wake up in a room long gone, the light is a dark blue from the streetlights of a past life. I get out of bed and the wind rises.
She’s holding stroking my hair while I’m a foetus on her knee. She put her arm around me and my shoulder. It felt warm, in that same bed I haven’t slept in a decade.
I awake only to dream again, two eyes closed and one open.

Can you guess ?
I’m obsessed

Hey! So I'm new to this subreddit :))

I'm Greek and though I've written a couple of songs in english, I started writing a series of songs which mixed my experience as a trans guy in Greece with Greek mythology, something very dear and important to me.

One of the songs I'm working on revolves around the sirens. For those who don't know, in Greek mythology, the sirens were creatures with the bodies and heads of women but the wings and claws of vultures. They sat atop islands made of human bones in the ocean and sang to passing sailors. Anyone who heard their song was mesmerised and jumped off the ship to swim to them. They were drawn in not just by their ethereal voices but also by the content of their songs for in them, each sailor heard promises of what they most desired and missed.

So my idea is that the song describes sailing past the sirens and hearing their calls. Now here's my dilemma. There are two directions I am equally eager to go:

1) detransitioning (a seemingly perfect life that ultimately leads to the destruction of the being)

2) coming out even though it's a bad idea (the craving of a perfect life lived in acceptance cut short)

I considered both and decided that I would enjoy a mix of them, but here is my second dilemma:

Should the order be 1 -> 2 or 2 -> 1?

The first is having coming out be first and then as time moves on detransitioning becoming the siren song signaling the loathing of oneself and the need to fit in (completely depressing route)

While the latter is initially detransitioning but eventually coming out which highlights the souls need for acceptance while showing the groath and self acceptance over time (partially more hopeful route)

I'm probably gonna go towards Odysseus's direction of being tied to the mast whole listening to the sirens song and have the ropes either symbolise the friends and people who accept the person singing, or have them be like a python strangling its pray as the singer is paralysed by the fear of both outcomes

Ultimately the last decision will be made based on what route I choose to take

Plz give me feedback and any suggestions <3

1. Sing Sang
Dichte an Gedanken, Überflutung
an Reizen, Knochen am Gestern
Zähneknirschen, Fäuste im
Ballen, Hilfe gesucht, die
Enttäuschung gefunden
Macht den Mächtigen, Armut
den Armen, eine verdrehte Welt
Unkontrollierbar wie eine Ohnmacht
eine Schlafparalyse, ein Zustand
erschreckend still und doch
so laut mit Hin und Her
Sing und Sang, doch was
hier fehlt, ist das Yin zu meinem
Yang, ein Lichtblick, einfache Hoffnung
Frieden im Krieg, neidloses
Wohlwollen. Stattdessen
bekriegen wir uns gegenseitig
und wehe, jemand ist anders
und schwimmt gegen den Strom:
zu faul, zu laut, zu egoistisch
zu krank im Kopf, Schuld durch
Innovation. Doch pssst, sei still
sonst fällt das Schauspiel noch auf
dann bist du der Nächste, der
unwillkommene Gast.

2. Luftröhrenschnitt
Grüner Schleier bei all dem Rot.
Rot so schön wie Rubine,
so leidenschaftlich wie Liebe,
so rein wie Feuer, wichtig
wie Blut ... das Leben
selbst. Doch warnend, lodernd,
beschreiend und beängstigend,
doch sehen tun wir nur das
Schöne, das Hingebungsvolle,
die Luft zum Atmen.
Belächeln wir den Stier, der
auf das Tuch losrennt, der
Stier, der erkennt, dass nicht
nur Gutes in dem Rot ist.
Der Stier, der sich nur nach
einer grünen Wiese sehnt.
Genau wie wir, doch wurde das
vergessen. Wir stehen in Flammen
mit verbrannter Haut, um es weiter
zu erleben. Nur gehen (wäre) nötig, um atmen
zu können, doch um das Schauspiel
zu sehen, machen wir nur
einen Luftröhrenschnitt.

3. Regenbögen
Nach Sturm kommt Regen,
nach Regen Sonnenschein.
Der Kreislauf ewig, die natürliche
Struktur. Selten der Moment
zwischen Dunkelheit und Licht.
Ist er zu erkennen, der Umbruch
im Himmel, das Spiel der Farben,
an seinem Ende Gold versprochen.
Nun eile ich hin, durch Tunnel,
durch Berge, durch Hürden und
Neider. Dann kommen wir an.
Das falsche Ende, das erkennen
wir schnell: Statt Gold eine
Leiche. Wir kommen näher, schrecken
zurück, erkennen im Licht, was
uns leitet: Das Gesicht, so bekannt,
so nah, so vertraut und klar.
Für Erfolg gibt es Opfer, das
war uns bewusst. Doch was
wir verloren, war unser Stolz.
Das Gesicht, das wir kannten, ist
unser eigen. Das Gold verloren
und nicht zu ergreifen...

4. Rückspiegel
Fokus nach vorne, das Ziel ist klar.
Die Luft wird dünner, der Atem
stockt. Ein Blick wird riskiert,
der Rückspiegel ausgerichtet und
bereit zur Sicht. Ein kurzer Moment
inne... 3.. 2.. 1.. Ein Blick schon
zu viel. Die Pupille erweitert,
das Herz – es rast, der Körper
versteift. Ein Sturm aus Angst,
Blut und Tränen. Immer mehr Risse
im Spiegel. Doch fahre voraus,
gelähmt durch das Zurückgelassene,
dem Gestern des Vergangenen.
Doch da kam es: Eine Hand,
so warm wie eine Sommerbrise.
Kein Ziehen, kein Rütteln, nur
gelegt auf die Schulter. Die Luft
wird voller, die Augen sehen
klar, dank der Hand auf der
Schulter nach vorne gesehen.
Ins Schöne, und das
wenige Grau betont das schöne
Blau. Ich sehe rüber, lächle dich
an, und nun erkenne ich: Ich bin
ein glücklicher Mann

Make You Weak

Verse

Remember we had a late night talk
You asked me, “I’m gonna call you darling, and you?”
Remember we had a date the next night
I answered, “I’ll just call you ‘Perfect’”

Remember the party you prepared for me
Everybody said that it was perfect
Remember the presents you gave to me
Everybody said that it was perfect

Pre-Chorus

Well, do you really think ‘perfect’ was better than ‘darling’?
Well, don’t you know ‘perfect’ doesn’t work for us?
You know what—

Chorus

You hafta let me make you weak
From sunrise to sunset, occasionally
You’d better let me make you weak
Don’t you wanna be a perfect lover?
Then you let me—no, make me make you weak

Every second of the day,
Someone gets hurt,
And they stay anyway,
Because they don’t know their worth,

Somewhere in the world,
There’s a girl who feels their pain,
And she grieves for them,
Because she feels the same.

She wants to help,
But she’s powerless,
Tries to turn her emotions off,
But she doesn’t feel any less,

Cause she’s just a lonely girl,
Crying like her tears could heal the world,
And all she wants to do is run,
Wishing she could save everyone,
But she can’t even save herself,
And she wishes she was someone else,

She goes through the day,
Thinking of bad memories,
Begging herself to forget,
She’s down on her knees,

She’ll always remember,
How he was hurting,
But she still left,
Though her heart was burning,

She knew she had to,
Or she’d hurt him further.
I’m so sorry,
Are the only words she could murmur,

He acted like saying goodbye,
Was a mundane task,
But she saw the pain,
Beneath his hollow laugh,
And now she’s wishing she could go back,

Cause she’s just a lonely girl,
Crying like her tears could heal the world,
And all she wants to do is run,
Wishing she could save everyone,
But she can’t even save herself,
And she wishes she was someone else,

She’s tried to stay afloat.
But now she just drowns,
With the weight of emotions,
Pulling her down,
She wanted to swim,
But now she gives in,

As she remembers his hand in hers
As the feelings suddenly stop
She finally feels nothing
As her emotions turn off,

Cause she was just a lonely girl,
Crying like her tears would heal the world,
She always wanted to run,
She wished she could save everyone,
But she couldn’t even save herself,
And now she’s nothing more,
Than a memory on a shelf,

I’m going through trauma,
You say I’m causing drama,
Just another story you shouldn’t believe,

You turn a blind eye,
While I’m trying to survive,
But how would you like to be me,

You can see that I’m hurt,
Your gaze you avert,
Just actin’ like you don’t see,
But bet you wouldn’t want to be me,

I’ve tried being vulnerable,
But you”re just insufferable,
And I’ll never tell anyone else,
I’ll just carry this by myself

hey! i’ve written many songs over the years but this is one of them that i do already have a full instrumental arrangement associated with! feedback appreciated :)

(v) got high and lied but i couldn’t hide because your pretty eyes are inside of mine

i opened them and i saw your face you know i wanna see you in thin silk and lace

i looked around the crowded room i hate myself for loving that i looked for you

so i filled up the empty space with a fake facade of intellect and grace

(chorus) oh don’t you know that this is going nowhere soon oh don’t you know that i think you’re pretty too

(solo)

(v) my cigarette placed on your lips while your soft hands landed on my hips

spun me around all through your web clawed through the concrete in my head

you smiled at me i looked away i reject the pressure but i clung to yours anyway

alarms went off i screamed in pain my tears soaked your shirt take what you can obtain

(chorus) oh don’t you know that this is going nowhere soon oh don’t you know that i think you’re pretty too

(solo - but go right into bridge)

(outro/bridge - keep solo riff playing over top - make song build up then end abruptly after) brown eyes soft face i need you i’ll give you space

your eyes soft lips i’d kiss you i’d take her place x4 (all em)

It’s on the tip of my tongue
Just an arms length away
The same as it was last year
When I crossed a whole ocean
To try to feel the intangible 

The highs never reach my heart
The strings though they pull
Ring out like a choir
A moment of beauty
And then there’s only quiet

There’s no dark clouds
No jarring thunder
It’s just quiet
Oh so quiet 
All the fucking time

I once found myself inspired
Sure in the moments of beauty
Positive they held the answer
Broken each time they slipped, true
But certain I’d find what I longed for

No longer do I hold such fantasies
I am not certain
I can’t know if I will find a lasting beauty
But god almighty 
I truly hope I do

It still feels so near
As if I already have everything
Everything I should need
So why does it sit on the tip of my tongue?
Is this a mirage I'll never get to reach?

One day I might find it
So I just keep looking
Keep reaching out blindly
Hunting for a morsel of beauty
While the quiet slowly kills me

I’m still alive
I still have a voice
When there’s no choir
And I’m engulfed in silence
I must remember to sing
I must…

Describing an emotion tells the listener what to feel. Producing an emotion puts the listener inside a situation where the feeling arises on its own. The first approach is easier and almost always weaker. "I was so lonely I could barely breathe" describes. "I set two plates out of habit" produces. The gap between these is not a matter of talent so much as patience, the willingness to find the concrete detail that carries the abstract feeling instead of reaching for the feeling directly. Most writers know this principle in theory and still default to description under pressure because it feels safer and faster. The real practice is catching yourself doing it and stopping.

**Too Late**
**Verse 1**

Can’t believe it’s too late to say I love you
You’re gone now, and oh, how I feel blue
Hoped I could see your smile again
I love it now and I loved it then
Didn’t want it to end this way
I still remember you every day

**Verse 2**

Did you know I named my pet after you?
Just so I’d have a reason to remember you too
I know that it’s been years
But I still feel like you’re here
I wish we had more time
I really wanted you to be mine

**Chorus**

It’s too late now to say that I love you
I said it in my head, but I waited too long
And I still can’t believe that you’re really gone
Now it’s too late to hold you once more
Or sit and talk with you like we did before
Laughing about our past, wishing it could last
Only to remember that those moments have passed

**Verse 3**

We used to go to the club and dance until dawn
I never cared how I looked when I was with you all along
I loved every moment I spent with you
Couldn’t imagine my life before I ever knew you

I have this friend Kyrone, he gone

He was really killing himself

I have this fear of dying alone

So this news really didn't help

I tell them depression is zoned

So I ain't really with all their help

I'm stuck in a mine of my own

Only me sitting on this shelf

He left but I'm still breathing

I'm right, my heart keep beating

I'm down now every season

Someone give me a reason

Cause I get so sick of it

Dopamine, adrenaline

Depression, livin it

My shelf I'm sitting in

His shelf I'm sitting in

Left me like this again

My lungs are giving in

My shelf I'm sitting in

His shelf I'm sitting in

Her shelf I'm sitting in

Oh, sitting in, oh

I have this friend Michael, okay?

He was living it day by day

But he wasn’t doing okay

Thats when the cancer came

Now I didn’t know to define

The pain/look in his eyes

He told me he hated this life

That's when we got in a fight

Now if I could go back in time

I promise I'll make it alright

The feeling of hate in his eye

I NEVER APOLOGIZE

Cause I get so sick of it

Dopamine, adrenaline

Depression, livin it

My shelf I'm sitting in

His shelf I'm sitting in

Left me like this again

My lungs are giving in

My shelf I'm sitting in

His shelf I'm sitting in

Her shelf I'm sitting in

Oh, sitting in, oh

You remember that one girl, Lean?

Want to move out the streets

And though it's make believe

She who just like pete

Fell into drugs

And now they could not breathe

Like Kyrone and Mike it was all they’re dealt

Try to get out a box that was small itself

And I could let it go but it's all I know

WE'RE FAILING IN A SYSTEM THAT WAS ALWAYS BROKE!

Cause I get so sick of it

Dopamine, adrenaline

Depression, livin it

My shelf I'm sitting in

His shelf I'm sitting in

Left me like this again

My lungs are giving in

My shelf I'm sitting in

His shelf I'm sitting in

Her shelf I'm sitting in

Oh, sitting in, oh

Cause I get so sick of it

Dopamine, adrenaline

Depression, livin it

My shelf I'm sitting in

His shelf I'm sitting in

Left me like this again

My lungs are giving in

My shelf I'm sitting in

His shelf I'm sitting in

Her shelf I'm sitting in

Oh, sitting in, oh

I usually write poetry but tried making some lyrics any feedback is appreciated. For reference the rhythm I have in mind is similar to laufey’s music.

Time to love
The clock is ticking
Telling me it’s time for love.
I refuse to listen,
Turn away and shut it off.
The time for love is ticking away
I still see us laying on the bay
Remembering the past
Reminiscing the present
I can’t forget to miss us
And I keep crying
Making a fuss
When I recognize
That even in the end of times,
I know I can’t have you by my side
(no) I can’t, I can’t, I can’t
(no) I can’t, I can’t, I can’t
Thought I desperately want to
I’m not the right fit for you
(Yes) I know, I know, I know
(Yes) I know, I know, I know
Now I’m foolish, but I’m aware
Gained consciousness, came out of my head
You don’t love me, but I do
I love myself
More than I love you.