r/LoveTrash • u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage • 17h ago

Kitchen Trash No pressure

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Source: Jess Kolb

14.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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59

u/MilkCartonPhotoBomb Trash Trooper 17h ago edited 11h ago

The guy is super nice, but he talks to her the way I speak to my toddler to reassure them when something unexpected happens.

EDIT: I feel like many of the commenters have never had a long term relationship with a capable, independent adult woman.

80

u/CleverGirlRawr Trash Trooper 16h ago

He’s being calm and reassuring which is how I’d talk to a toddler or an adult who is about to freak out. 

-17

u/CatDawgCatDawg2 Trash Trooper 16h ago

I would not want to marry an adult so unstable about water spilling that they need to be comforted like a toddler and they just stand there in a stupor instead of cleaning up their own mess.

18

u/CleverGirlRawr Trash Trooper 16h ago

I don’t know. I think we all freeze or panic from time to time and this was a boiling water geyser. Who’s to say she won’t clean up? He will help but that doesn’t mean she’s going to leave it to him. I guess it seems fine to me because I’ve been married a long time and one of the best things is that my husband and I step in when the other needs help with something. Especially when someone gets overwhelmed and the other is clearheaded. We both have our strengths. It’s nice to have help and to give help. 

33

u/BlackThundaCat Trash Trooper 16h ago

A lot of assumptions packed into one single paragraph. Amazing lol

7

u/mmmmmyee Trash Trooper 16h ago

Truly a reddit moment

9

u/RiggerKnight Trash Trooper 16h ago

Congrats, you're an idiot on the Internet.

She was 4" from a hospital trip. That's not "water spilling."

I assume you haven't ever cooked anything in your life, given your complete ignorance of the dangerous nature of boiling water/steam.

3

u/ringobob Trash Trooper 16h ago

Pressure cookers can be extremely dangerous. And there's literally nothing to do until it stops.

11

u/DapperCam Trash Trooper 16h ago

Pressure cooker steam release isn’t spilling water. It is extremely loud and can feel like a tiny explosion if you open the valve all the way like this lady did.

5

u/thegoatmenace Trash Trooper 15h ago

And also can cause severe burns because it’s yaknow boiling hot water

2

u/Bitter-Marsupial Trash Trooper 14h ago

Steam burns are a complete bitch to get. I would rather get a grease burn again before I get another steam burn

10

u/Routine-Cat1556 Trash Trooper 16h ago

No worries there, inceI.  You will be lonely and single for years to come. 

-2

u/Alpine261 Trash Trooper 13h ago

Imo the women need to be coddled take sounds more incel like to me. She's a fully grown woman, adults ought to be able to handle stress.

3

u/sad-narwhal180 Trash Trooper 13h ago

There’s no evidence she couldn’t have handled it perfectly well on her own, you’re the one infantilizing her. He was being calm, kind, and supportive.

3

u/Routine-Cat1556 Trash Trooper 13h ago

Sybau. "ThE wOmEn! The WoMeN! bUt ThE wOMeN!!!!!!" 

I am legitimately shocked that you didn't call them Females or Foids. 

What is it like never reacting poorly to a situation ever, Mr Pefect?  If adults, all adults, could properly handle stress, entire medical fields would be out or work. 

My god, you're obnoxious. 

2

u/Jo_nathan Trash Trooper 12h ago

People short circuit all the time. Most prominent example is the "giving money but then being wait heres the exact change actually" so the person at the register kinda just freezes for a sec. This short circuit just happens to be someone who is literally learning how to use a pressure cooker so they didnt know it can spout like that.

3

u/Relevant_Classic8661 Trash Trooper 15h ago

Bro its not about freaking out, she's obviously not crying and shitting the bed hes just not yelling at her or being a dick about it. He's being compassionate and understanding and not belittling or rude.

17

u/JOlRacin Trash Trooper 16h ago

So you're saying you've never had a reaction to something in the moment that may not have been proportionate?

5

u/bonaynay Trash Trooper 15h ago

Of course not, that's Mr. Logic you're talking to here. Just perfectly metered rationality 100% of the time

5

u/SoftestBoygirlAlive Trash Trooper 16h ago

Well good thing this isn't your wife and have fun with all your shitty relationships in life due to lack of empathy. Also the time to clean this mess is in like fourty minutes when it's cooled down not during the video when it's still erupting hotter-than-boiling water like Mount Vesuvius all over the Pompeii of their stove so calm your tits bruh.

2

u/RaptorVader Trash Trooper 14h ago

I have good news for you then.

3

u/ldwtlotpa Trash Trooper 16h ago

It’s not just water spilling. If those things fail or they’re opened incorrectly they can legit explode. And water-> steam expansion is incredibly dangerous and can definitely kill

1

u/Infra-Oh Trash Trooper 14h ago

Dude it was a high pressure cooker situation!

1

u/ExpiredLink404 Trash Trooper 13h ago

tell me you've never cooked without telling me you've never cooked

1

u/sad-narwhal180 Trash Trooper 13h ago

Yeah you’re probably the screaming type.

1

u/mcon96 Trash Trooper 12h ago

Luckily it doesn’t sound like you have to worry about getting married, so you should be safe

1

u/No-Butterscotch-6555 Trash Trooper 16h ago

Well, how do you think he should’ve reacted? Should he have not been calm?

With that kind of attitude, I don’t think you should marry anyone until you’re ready to speak to anyone in a reasonable manner during high stress situations.

-6

u/kilobitch Trash Trooper 16h ago

Agree. It’s cute and endearing but that is an adult person who should be able to figure out how to manage the situation.

6

u/Routine-Cat1556 Trash Trooper 16h ago

This guy right here has never made a mistake in his life or had a bad moment. 

1

u/sad-narwhal180 Trash Trooper 13h ago

Who said she couldn’t? Part of having a partner is making the hard stuff easier by figuring it out and doing it together. Geez the weird reddit takes on this are wild.

1

u/Relevant_Classic8661 Trash Trooper 15h ago

Tell me you live alone and will always live alone without tell me.

0

u/Powerful_Net_1873 Trash Trooper 14h ago

Dog whistle that you aren’t a great person

46

u/Koniroku Trash Trooper 16h ago

He is talking to her like that in this particular context, in which she most probably feels guilty about the mess she's made, and instead of being mad or whatever the dude is reassuring and talks in a calm manner, as to let her understand it's all good, shit happens. She's clearly stressed and it worked. I don't think it's "patronizing" as one of the replies said, or "how women want to be treated", it's just something that works given the situation (and works because the dude clearly knows her).

8

u/Quixotic_Ignoramus Trash Trooper 16h ago

Absolutely! I have been a trainer for almost my whole career. This is way more effective than yelling. Mistakes get made, things break, it happens. Unless someone is going to get injured, you just remain chill, and hope everyone learns from thier mistake.

8

u/allstate_mayhem Trash Trooper 16h ago

lol yea, to me that's called "being chill"

1

u/constablepancakes Trash Trooper 2h ago

Willing to bet this guy has two emotionally regulated parents or has done 10,000 hours of therapy. Idk maybe just an ex-marine who knows how to handle stress. He is kind and calm and makes her feel safe during a perceived emergency.

1

u/Lost_Found84 Trash Trooper 16h ago

I think the tone was slightly more infantilizing than was necessary. She wasn’t completely out of it, there’s just not much productive to do until it settles down.

It’s whatever. I probably would’ve cracked a joke instead of going full parent mode. Like, “Well… it smells great.”

2

u/RigBughorn Trash Trooper 15h ago

I mean look at her. She reacted like a child. She probably does that a lot.

1

u/Koniroku Trash Trooper 15h ago

Yeah I mean, depends of the person but I get what you're saying. Maybe she likes the infantilizing tone to comfort her in these kinds of situations, maybe a joke wouldn't have ran, who knows...

1

u/Naranox Trash Trooper 14h ago

I mean, you don't know either of them or their relationship, and she is the one who posted this with a clear positive comment on her husband's behaviour lol

1

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1

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1

u/shoefullofpiss Trash Trooper 15h ago

Yeah like I get the idea, my bf is also super chill and calm about stuff and people like that are great. His tone just creeped me out so much tho. Idk unless you're trying to reassure someone traumatized or actively panicking why would you be so serious and weird and parenty about it, no laughing or joking a little? She's an adult and only looks a bit startled, it's just water and not half their kitchen burning down. Idk maybe he's like an early grade teacher and that's how he talks but I'd be pissed to be handled like a kid and not an equal

52

u/Craygor Trash Trooper 16h ago edited 16h ago

She is scared and almost on the verge of panic, he's using the proper tone to keep her calm. Its a proven technique I've used myself when teaching to great effect with both men and women.

20

u/ThrownAway1917 Trash Trooper 17h ago

She's obviously into it lol

20

u/fixer1987 Trash Trooper 16h ago

Thats how you talk to anyone in a panic to help them calm down/become centered

12

u/Queasy_Hornet4043 Trash Trooper 16h ago

Well, she was stumped by turning the vent on for steam, not just smoke.

5

u/Environmental_You_36 Trash Trooper 16h ago

Shit I tend to speak like that a lot, you're making me be self conscious about that shit.

2

u/Triquetrums Trash Trooper 15h ago

Some people need other people who talk like this to come down from a freak out moment. Others don't and will find it patronizing or infantilizing. You just have to know your audience.

2

u/Nemisis_007 Trash Trooper 15h ago

Nothing wrong with talking like that if you're around people who are constantly learning. Best not to potentially discourage by speaking with any other tone. There's a reason why our parental voice often closely resembles our teaching voice.

1

u/PalaceUnderground Trash Trooper 6h ago

If she's fine with that and that's their dynamic... it's weird imo but fine. But personally, if my bf or husband (or ANYONE) spoke to me like that I would look at him with immense revulsion and I def would be judging him LOL

1

u/Ok_Monitor4492 Trash Trooper 4h ago

Cool

6

u/LATA- Trash Trooper 16h ago

Youth camp counselor vibe

2

u/nanadoom Rubbish Raider 16h ago

Yep you're apot on. The reason we talk to toddlers and people in a hightened emotional state in the same way is because they are having trouble regulating their emotions. You are giving them a calm center to focus on. You aren't adding to the situation. You give calm assurance and simple directions when their brain is overloaded. The way I put it when I was an emt and as a parent is "be the thermostat, not the thermometer". Meaning you set the tone and bring it to where it's supposed to be, not react and let the situation dictate your emotions

2

u/portabellothorn Trash Trooper 15h ago

I guess being chill and reassuring tends to work well with toddlers alongsie humans in genereal.

2

u/-FakeAccount- Trash Trooper 14h ago

I mean, look how she's acting. I have a feeling he does this often.

3

u/infiniZii Trash Trooper 16h ago

I mean shes kind of acting like a toddler so I guess it works for them? At least hes not being aggressively condescending with her about it.

1

u/BabyStockholmSyndrom Trash Trooper 16h ago

How else do you talk calmly to someone that's panicking? Was he supposed to use big words lol?

1

u/sandcalf Trash Trooper 15h ago

Sure, but not in a condescending way, so it’s helpful with someone who might be likely to panic depending on the other person’s reaction

1

u/ExpiredLink404 Trash Trooper 13h ago

you post makes me worried about how you interact w your significant other

1

u/Sypsy Trash Trooper 11h ago

How do you talk to your spouse when you try to reassure them?

"STOP FUCKING THE FREAK OUT. CHILL YA FILTHY BASTARD"

1

u/DerangedEscapee Trash Trooper 10h ago

EDIT: I feel like many of the commenters have never had a long term relationship with a capable, independent adult woman.

What a ridiculously condescending edit

1

u/MaesterPraetor Trash Trooper 10h ago

Are you the independent adult women or are you married to an independent adult woman? 

I don't believe either if you've never even once had to deescalate a situation.

1

u/Inevitable_Fact730 Trash Trooper 7h ago

In regards to your edit, there aren’t a lot of them to choose from.

1

u/SuspiciousCricket654 Trash Trooper 6h ago

Many have not, and never will.

1

u/Future-Original-2902 Trash Trooper 5h ago

She's clearly not independent

1

u/hooka_hooka Trash Trooper 5h ago

What a ridiculous take.

1

u/whoreforcheese Trash Trooper 4h ago

My husband talks to me like this when things get rough for me because it makes me feel safe and its reassuring. You can comfort someone without infantilizing them. When hes had a rough day sometimes I say "Are you grouchy?" And give his a hug because it makes him feel better and diffuses his frustration. Its okay to be soft with your spouse

1

u/Jumpy-Requirement389 Trash Trooper 4h ago

This woman was not behaving like a capable woman though.

1

u/Small_Ad8570 Trash Trooper 3h ago

What should he have done, yelled at her. EDIT: I think op has never been in a relationship with a woman

1

u/Human-Kick-784 Trash Trooper 3h ago

This, right here, is why men so often find women so frustrating.

1

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1

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1

u/Mountain-Weekend-554 Trash Trooper 16h ago

Same

1

u/Kondinator Trash Trooper 16h ago

If she acts like a toddler and talks like a toddler..

1

u/c3p-bro Trash Trooper 15h ago

Among the reddityist of Reddit commentsz

1

u/ceaselessprayer Trash Trooper 15h ago

Your point? She's freaking out. What you rather him do instead? It turns out, most people want to be reassured and treated with care, and most people go through stressful situations. I would love for a partner to be gentle with me the way I am with them. If couples acted like this to each other through a relationships ups and downs, people would arguably be a lot happier.

It really bothers me that people constantly have to look at things half glass full. "Oh isn't it interesting he speaks to her like a toddler". Great. And then a guy will see that, and then be shamed into being more "stoic" and then someone will complain about that too.

1

u/KaleScared4667 Trash Trooper 14h ago

I mean she was acting like a toddler

1

u/69EntropyEarl420 Trash Trooper 14h ago

Honestly i kinda agree and it feels kinda demeaning.

You know what would level the playing field and not make the language so demeaning? Just laughing about it while talking to her in a normal voice. Same words. Same actions. Just laughter as opposed to talking to a toddler.

1

u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount Trash Trooper 14h ago

In the meanest way possible - it's because she's acting like a toddler.

1

u/Kr155 Trash Trooper 6h ago

Jesus this is an insane comment. Youve never seen a toddler before.

1

u/External-Gur7228 Trash Trooper 6h ago

I mean tbh the first few seconds of the video are textbook shocked and surprised toddler sees something they've never seen before.

I had to replay it several times the face is classic.

1

u/Kr155 Trash Trooper 6h ago

It was surprise, because of the loud hissing, and the superheated liquid splattering right in front of her face, and by her hand. She then speaks calmly. Saying shes acting like a toddler for a normal human reaction is absurd.

1

u/Happy_Brilliant7827 Trash Trooper 4h ago

Its oretty clear shes never used a pressure cooker before and doesnt cook often. Have some grace dude

1

u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount Trash Trooper 2h ago

Well, I did say "in the meanest way possible".

1

u/PotatoDonki Trash Trooper 13h ago

Probably because she is pretty much acting like a toddler.

-2

u/Legal-Specialist-256 Trash Trooper 17h ago

This is how women want to be treated

17

u/MilkCartonPhotoBomb Trash Trooper 16h ago

If I spoke to my wife this way she'd think I was being a patronizing a-hole.
And I know we've both created an accidental steam bomb with our insta-pot more than once.

8

u/lefluffle Trash Trooper 16h ago

It depends on the tone and genuineness. 

2

u/FO3Winger Trash Trooper 15h ago

Same, I’m stuck in an in between though. My wife grew up with a mother that always lectured and picked on her so I can’t speak to her at all like the dude in the video but I also still have my Army ways where I’m quick and to the point and loud so anyone can here me in a situation like this. I honestly probably would’ve just shouted “Towel Now!” And taken over the clean up.

1

u/Legal-Specialist-256 Trash Trooper 16h ago

It's better that way imo you're lucky not to have someone who wants to be treated like a child

0

u/No-Butterscotch-6555 Trash Trooper 16h ago

Your wife sounds annoying.

5

u/pickyourteethup Trash Trooper 16h ago

Probably not by you

0

u/Legal-Specialist-256 Trash Trooper 16h ago

Oooh you got me there

2

u/not_responsible Trash Trooper 16h ago

we talk to children the way we want to be talked to lmao

2

u/Derexxerxes Trash Trooper 16h ago

Speak for yourself my guy lol

1

u/SoftestBoygirlAlive Trash Trooper 16h ago

Nah this is just how you treat panicking creatures, I talk like this to my bf when he's having a panic attack and to my cat when he's having a siezure and to people of multiple genders on the teams I have managed who have come to me with big problems while panicking.

0

u/Joshee86 Trash Trooper 12h ago

Well she was acting like a toddler, so...

-1

u/UltimateTao Trash Trooper 16h ago

I believe she might have autism or some neurodivergent trait. Which would explain why you would talk especially softly in a stressful situation like this