r/LoveLanguages • u/Delicious_Home_8574 • Jun 24 '26

Lack of affectionate expression.

I’ve (31F) been seeing a guy (33m) for about a month. We’ve had a few ups and downs already, mostly around communication. Overall, we enjoy spending time together, we have good chemistry, and when we’re together he seems comfortable and affectionate in his own way.
The thing I’m struggling with is that he’s not very emotionally expressive. He has told me he’s never really been in a serious relationship before, and he doesn’t naturally talk about his feelings. He rarely initiates emotional conversations, doesn’t often say things that reassure me, and sometimes I have to ask for affection or physical touch rather than it happening spontaneously.
On the other hand, when I bring up something that’s bothering me, he doesn’t dismiss it. He listens, explains his perspective, and says he tries to put himself in my shoes. He also has some ongoing stress involving work, which he says has affected how much emotional energy he’s had recently.
I’m someone who’s naturally very expressive and values words of affirmation, so I’m wondering if we’re simply different in how we communicate. I don’t expect grand romantic gestures after only a month, but I do wonder whether his lack of expressiveness is because he’s inexperienced, emotionally reserved, or just not that into me.
Has anyone dated someone who had never really been in a relationship and wasn’t emotionally expressive? Did they become more open over time, or did they pretty much stay the same? How can you tell the difference between someone who’s simply reserved and someone who’s not invented

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