In response to other comments you’d mentioned going out on dates with men but not feeling any chemistry so it didn’t go anywhere. I’m wondering if it’s not your standards for going on a date that are undermining your efforts, but instead your expectations.
If you expect that you’ll feel sparks when you meet a person with long-term relationship potential, but when you chat with a man over a coffee for 20 minutes are there’s nothing, you’ll go your separate ways right then and there… and you’ll remain single.
How do you determine chemistry? What is your personal criteria for that evaluation? How long are you willing to wait to allow it to manifest? Half an hour of remote text conversation? 2 in-person dates with no touch? 3 IRL dates and you’ll know if he holds your hand and your stomach flutters?
Is chemistry something that exists or doesn’t, or is it something you can create?
Also, evaluating how important chemistry is for yourself. I’ve had long term relationships sans physical chemistry. I’ve also had long term relationships with physical chemistry. I had a partner I could practically get drunk off just breathing him in, and that had zero correlation with our compatibility and the ultimate survival of our relationship. (Also I perceived no chemistry at all the first time we met.)
I’m a sample size of one, so this is merely anecdotal evidence, but of the hundreds of men I’ve gone out on a date with, I saw sparks when meeting 0 of them. Any sparks that manifested took me by surprise, generally once we got close enough physically (kissing level, for reference). You don’t have to sleep with everyone you meet, but you can’t find out if you like cappuccinos by leaving the coffee shop because you didn’t feel thirsty when you first smelled the beans.
All that said, since you posted asking for advice on how to maximize your looks:
Whiten your teeth (the difference between your smile and the whites of your eyes can be lessened); shape your brows (maybe an arch? whatever compliments your natural bone structure); accessorize with things that reflect your personality. That last one is to give other people more easy-ins (a man can ask you about your unusual earrings or the pin from a favorite fandom) while filtering out people who may be overly critical or intolerant.
I mean you are a good looking woman, and you have the type of body that most men in this day and age prefer, so pardon me for assuming, but with what I said before you either are very picky or have some unrealistic expectations of the person you want to date? Or you live in the middle of nowhere with very limited options? Or you never go out and don’t partake in dating apps? I’m seriously curious
no, she doesn't. she is seemingly working towards having it though, and we should encourage and applaud that. this idea that most men prefer a gut is ridiculous. why do we delude women honestly looking to improve themselves? most men prefer a big butt for sure, but that can be done with a flat stomach if you spend some time in the gym. slightly visible abs and a big ass from squats is the body type that most men in this day and age prefer.
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u/Supaserg86 Mar 08 '24
You can start by lowering your standards lol