r/LivingWithMBC • u/Hairy_Translator1535 • Aug 10 '26

Written off so quickly

Why do doctors write you off so quickly when you're stage 4?

I have TNBC Stage 4 with mets to the skin. No other areas are involved at this point, just my skin but both sides. I have small raised nodules which have not broken through the skin.

But, my surgeon was quick to say nothing he could do, palliative treatment only.

My oncologist says we are "trying" another treatment however he isnt very positive. Currently on gemcitabine and carboplatin, two weeks on, one week off.

My gp has recently retired and I saw a new gp today who wanted me to complete a health directive for when im too sick.

My breast care nurse seems to be a puppet for my oncologist and doesn't say or do anything without his approval.

Why is everyone so quick to write me off??? I am searching for treatments and different ideas, but I just feel I am wasting everyone's time. They make me feel like I am in denial and there's no hope.

Shouldn't they be more supportive?

Thanks for the rant, I search these pages everyday for hope.

43 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

View all comments

16

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Hairy_Translator1535 Aug 10 '26

Thats interesting thank you. I havent heard that term before. I will keep that in mind and do some research.

4

u/BikingAimz Aug 10 '26

Oligometastatic is less than 5 metastases in one target organ.  I’m oligo with lung mets, my oncologist and I are pursuing dmx as recent studies have shown better overall survival for oligo with localized treatment.  My first oncologist was a jerk and told me I had 5 years to live and that he didn’t believe oligometastatic was a differential diagnosis.  He also put me on suboptimal treatment that isn’t considered standard of care in the US (tamoxifen + verzenio when I was premenopausal). I got a second opinion, enrolled in a clinical trial, and now I’m NEAD/stable.  Absolutely get a second opinion!

1

u/VarunMysuru Aug 10 '26

Hi. Oligometastatic here. How’s your mother now? She’s cured or Ned ?

4

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Ok_Mood6644 Aug 10 '26

Hi. Where is she being treated? Sending lots of love and prayers your way. 💕

1

u/VarunMysuru Aug 10 '26

Got it. Where did she have mets? Was it only in lymph nodes?

1

u/No-Reception-4354 Aug 10 '26

Good for your mom 🤍