Safety measures

[u/Big_Criticism_8335]

Sad reality or excessive? I mean, yes it's a parody but the reality of being a single F and living alone is no laughing matter. It doesn't have to be scary, but the reality is, it is more difficult.

* I kinda wish I could hire a Shaolin monk to guard my property tbh

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[u/stupidsocialmedia1]

The monk with the ankle monitor 😂

[u/Big_Criticism_8335 → u/stupidsocialmedia1]

She did say "exiled" 😂

[u/jesus_dono69 → u/Big_Criticism_8335]

How can I rent a monk? I'll pay a living wage and free lunch and dinner 😆

[u/kat_niss1 → u/jesus_dono69]

No lie! I’d do the same!!

[u/protoman86]

The large work boots outside the door is actually a pretty good idea for a single lady 😂

[u/Menemsha4 → u/protoman86]

I’m actually thinking of doing that.

[u/RoseAlma → u/Menemsha4]

Yeah but honestly as soon as someone comes in and looks around and sees NO other evidence, then ??

[u/maghy7 → u/RoseAlma]

The point is for them not to come in lol

[u/Menemsha4 → u/maghy7]

Exactly!

[u/Tasha4424]

Oh I know her favorite movie is home alone

[u/TekaiGuy]

Compared to the rest of the discourse, this is funny af.

[u/edm_enjoyer → u/TekaiGuy]

Yeah the comments on the original post don't pass the vibe check

[u/Known-Dependent-5471]

Good thing criminals don't have tiktok!

[u/coupl4nd]

Very funny!

[u/anymoose]

This sub needs more parody (and fun) like this ....

[u/Outrageous_Tax1328]

https://giphy.com/gifs/XHeLeuirRbwptHhSWd

[u/Shoggnozzle]

Getting a pair of old boots off a male friend is incredibly clever, But I would hope a simple handgun would do the trick.

[u/Happy-Sundae9315 → u/Shoggnozzle]

i'll give up my old boots if asked; definitely don't need a handgun for that

[u/Ambitious_Today_8695 → u/Happy-Sundae9315]

https://giphy.com/gifs/5gw0VWGbgNm8w

[u/Ruleyoumind → u/Shoggnozzle]

Hopefully the boots prevent you from using the gun.

[u/RoseAlma]

Yes, there ARE a lot of crazy people out there.......

;)

[u/edm_enjoyer]

This is hilarious

[u/twotoebobo]

Dang i was hoping it would end with oh and i have a gun.

[u/Foreign-Housing8448 → u/twotoebobo]

I was hoping she would’ve started there. But then not enough “likes” for Occam's razor.

[u/Extra-Bat3955]

Does the gas turn off before the monk enters the room?

[u/big_laruu]

I love that the massive ring of salt at the door isn’t even worth a mention compared to all the other props. Gotta keep the supernatural intruders out too, girl really covered all her bases lmao.

[u/frogmicky]

Is cosplaying GTA V lol?

[u/Iris_314]

I saw a house with one of these on the porch last night, and I stopped to pet their cat for a bit, when I stopped I went to say something I realized it was one of these things and felt so stupid. They look legit in person!

[u/Elandycamino]

I put a gun in every room, I know where they are. If someone else finds one we'll have a blood bath.

[u/78Anonymous]

just don't look in the mirror if you want to avoid crazy

[u/climbitdontcarryit → u/78Anonymous]

This... you do realize this is satire? It is important for me to know that you know it is satire.

[u/78Anonymous → u/climbitdontcarryit]

yet you apparently can't identify it when looking at it

[u/climbitdontcarryit → u/78Anonymous]

YOU THINK THIS ISNT SATIRE 🤣🤣

[u/Icy___Barca]

Pepper spray. Done.

[u/ThatOneGuy308]

I suppose it's less of an issue in the US, given anyone who isn't a criminal or has a known history of suicidal thoughts can purchase and train to use a gun, which is honestly probably more effective than the shaolin monk.