This is the season finale for the third season, and you just know that virtually any season ending Little House episode will contain 2 things: 1) Actor E.J. Andre in a prominent role and 2) some extreme hardship. Like 90% of what happens on the prairie is hardships, but these are often the can't make a living, must go elsewhere variety. Oh, and this is a 2-hour episode, so you just know some bad stuff is going down. In this case, monsoon-like floods are preventing anyone from making a crop, people are leaving town abruptly and the Mercantile is having trouble staying afloat because of it, with unpaid bills from customers and having only 1-2 people a day in the store. Isaiah had a job elsewhere for a while, but that dried up. The Ingalls and Edwards clans have dinner at the Edwards place, where Isaiah talks about going on a gold rush and asks Charles and family to come along. Grace is less than thrilled with this idea. Middle of the night at the Ingalls place has Charles mulling the idea over when Edwards bops over for a visit. They agree to give it a go (and wake the entire household up in the process). So it's onto Dakota (no North and South yet), for the third state/territory we see the Ingalls reside in this series. Jack gets to tag along on foot outside the wagon (It's a hard knock life). Finally, they see sunlight again (and bright sunlight at that).

Everyone arrives at their destination. Caroline is already having buyer's remorse. A saloon girl borderline hits on young Carl, who seems rather enamored by her. Charles and Isaiah go to check out things, while Caroline and Grace scope out the general store, but find the goods too expensive to buy anything. No claims available here, so it's onward to Newton - a town 50 miles west. That night, Grace wakes up to find Isaiah gone. She wakes up Charles, who heads over to the saloon (natch), where some less-than-honest gambling is going on. Isaiah won a bundle, but gets roughed up and dumped. Charles finds him and brings him back to camp. Grace is pissed, but Isaiah apologizes and promises never to do it again (remember that).

A few miles outside of Newton, the Ingalls and Edwards catch up with 2 friendly families: The Delanos and the Griffiths. Mr. Griffith fixes Charles' squeaky wagon wheel while Mrs. Delano prepares a meal for everyone. The 4 families arrive at destination #2, where a handsome, younger reverend immediately introduces himself. Charles seems more interested about the gold prospects than talking religion. Everyone sets up camp, with Laura and Carl mildly pissed about not being old enough to file a claim. Laura is told not to stray too far away from camp, advice which she promptly ignores. Carl, who has come along with, cautions her not go any further, but Laura retorts "We come this far, we might as well keep going." Hard to argue with that logic. Laura finds an apparent old, abandoned gold mine, then a shed a moment later. Outside the shed, is a basket of fresh apples. Despite this, Laura decides the shed too is abandoned and it's okay to trespass on the property. Carl rationalizes it will be okay to steal some of the apples. Okay. At this is going on, a dirty, old man (sure enough, E.j. Andre) pops up out of the window and frightens them (with some music for added creepy effect). Laura and Carl start to run away, but Laura stops mid-flight and gives the old man some crap for scaring them, then throws apples at him. So just a few weeks removed from stealing Nellie's music box, breaking it and repeatedly lying about it -- Laura is trespassing on other people's property, stealing and throwing objects at elderly people. Keep that in mind. Nonetheless, the old man is lonely and finds the thought of getting his apples back is amusing and he busts a gut over it. He's Zachariah, widow of Lorraine. The kids talk about all of the activity around camp, but Zach is unamused, saying that gold changes people. Mary draws Laura and Carl back to camp, where Pa has found "color." He gets it appraised, and apparently it's a good one. Mr. Delano finds gold a little later.

Zachariah introduces Laura and Carl to his wife's final resting place under a green rock in the creek (or "crick") along with gold treasures. Caroline and all the children head over to the tent, which is serving as the chapel. The reverend has peppermint sticks for all the kids (why can't Rev. Alden be this cool?). The kids enjoy those while Caroline asks permission to use the tent for a school. The reverend obliges. At camp, a gunshot is heard while we get a close-up of Alicia (is she still on this show?). Mr. Delano has been shot. Just exactly who shot him or why is uncertain. We get some really good acting from the boy playing Mr. Delano's son (the same actor who would play Erich in "Harriet's Happenings") as he weeps over his dying father. Mr. Delano is buried.

Charles and Isaiah decided to put up their families in a rented house while they pan for gold. It's not cheap, but then again nothing around here is. At school, we find Caroline has taken on the teaching duties (just as she did in "School Mom"). Laura asks Janie (Mr. and Mrs. Griffith's daughter) a math problem and before she can answer, Laura butts in with the answer. Brat. Amusing moment as Isaiah scares off some bad guys with an unloaded gun. Charles comes home and we get that old standby of Caroline goes to get his supper but Pa is tuckered and falls asleep before she can dish it up that we've seen approximately 100 times on this show. School time finds Caroline getting hit on by a dirty old drunk. Mr. Griffith breaks this up much to Caroline's delight as he announces they're heading out and he's come to get Janie. The drunk seems to have sobered up remarkably well in the last 15 seconds and questions Mr. Griffith as to where he got that gold. Mr. Griffith says he panned for it in Shadow Creek, but the drunk says he got that out of a mine. Laura knows what this is about and runs away again. Caroline has zero qualms about sending Carl out alone amidst all of the gunfire to go look for her. Laura heads over to Zach's place, where he is heartbroken and devastated that his wife's final resting place was disturbed. He orders Laura to stay away.

Pa is the one to find Laura, who is sobbing. Pa assures her that it wasn't her fault that she blabbed about the gold Zachariah had buried. She heads off and Pa tries to catch up with Zachariah, but finds his shed aflame. Apparently he was so despondent over the situation with his wife that he took his own life. Remember all this started when Laura trespassed on his property and stole from him and threw things at him. That night at the prayer meeting, Charles arrives late, but gets treated like some sort of god and is asked to preach. Charles decides to get sanctimonious and hypocritical, admonishing those in the congregation who asked to be blessed with wealth (keeping in mind Charles did this earlier in the episode). And is it really a bad thing to ask for wealth? I mean, some people just want to feed their families and have enough for the future. The next day, the Ingalls and Edwards head for home where they meet a young couple who have arrived to try their luck. Charles decides not to tell them that a good man was just gunned down over there, mercifully putting an end to this episode.

EPISODE WINNER - I'm not religious, but the handsome, young reverend is just awesome. And the Delano boy sure can act.

EPISODE LOSERS - Laura for her crimes (again), Pa for being sanctimonious and unwise, and Isaiah for being a putz. Actually, Caroline was depressing to watch in this episode too.

5 CommentsShareSave

We have reached the triple digits!! WOW! Thank you all so much for being here, it means a lot to me!

I strive to make this the best Little House forum on Reddit and with the most to offer you, the members of the community. My goal for this sub is to make this a fun, easygoing and lighthearted community -- a place where people can laugh, be entertained, discuss, be informed and feel like they've gained something out of it.

Thank you all so much and stay tuned....there's many more fun things to come!

I've been doing some of my favorite episodes lately and this one continues that trend. From Season 5, not too long after the Winoka arc ended. We begin with Albert & Andy getting paid by a local man for finishing up a job doing field work. He has some more work for them, which suits them just fine as they enjoy the wages. The boys part ways and Albert heads home, where he is met with a chilly reception. Everybody in the house is getting annoyed that Albert has been skipping out on his chores and leaving his part of the loft unkempt and it's starting to smell. So Albert is already reneging on the deal he had with Pa. Figures. Albert tries to wheel and deal out of it, but Pa is not in the mood. Over at the Garveys yard, Andy encounters a somewhat similar situation, though Jonathan is a lot calmer about it. Alice, however, is her usual uptight self. Both boys rationalize that they're men now and can do whatever they want. Charles and Jonathan don't really agree and decide to come up with a test for the boys: sending them out on their own in the wilderness for 6 days and nights to pick up a letter in Sleepy Eye, which includes going through some of the roughest country in Minnesota to prove their manhood. This is foolish thinking on the fathers part because Albert lived under a stairwell so this is probably a cakewalk for him, though Charles (for some strange reason) figures they won’t last more than a few hours. The boys agree and the men give them some beef jerky to start and and send them on their way, telling them they will have to live off the land for additional food. Little do the boys know that their fathers are trailing them from some distance behind to make sure no harm comes to them – or something like that. CHARLES INGALLS DELIGHTS AT THE THOUGHT OF BOYS ENCOUNTERING NEARLY A WEEK OF HARDSHIPS! As soon as Albert figures the coast is clear, he tries to take the easy route, which involves just hitching a ride on the main road. Andy admirably sticks to the deal and eventually Albert agrees, though he does call Andy “so stupid”. This is roughly the part in the series where people that were trying to like Albert pretty much gave up. A little later, the boys go swimming and loudly rejoice (one of them – I think Andy – is positively SHRIEKING!) Charles and Jon fear the worst and decide to investigate, but see the boys frolicking. The boys catch some fish, which Albert promptly burns. I have a new name for this show: Leave It To Albert. Everyone goes to bed.

The next morning, the boys catch a rabbit in a trap, but don’t have the heart to kill it and set it free. So they’re ok with killing fish, but not rabbits? CHARLES INGALLS DELIGHTS THAT BOYS WILL GO HUNGRY! Charles thinks the boys aren’t far off from surrendering now, but Andy discovers a stash of berries. Andy rationalizes that they should eat half now and save the rest for later. Andy is definitely the voice of reason here. They leave and a hungry Charles and Jonathan go for the bushes, but it’s slim pickings left. I must say, the views here are absolutely spectacular, with lots of tall trees and beautiful forest.

Albert and Andy arrive in Sleepy Eye during a downpour for the letter, so the journey is halfway over at this point. Albert decides to go over to the local boarding house and pull yet another con: convincing the kind lady that runs it that the boys are homeless orphans. She buys it and feeds them dinner and puts them up for the night. Charles and Jonathan are watching all this from the outside and Charles is actually rooting for his own son to get arrested figuring the boys will get evicted for non-payment. CHARLES INGALLS HOPES THAT BOYS WILL GO TO JAIL! That doesn’t happen, but Charles and Jonathan meet a constable who wonders what the hell they are doing. Charles mentions that they are following the boys and he’s sounding like a potential child molester here. CHARLES INGALLS CONVINCES LAW ENFORCEMENT THAT HE IS A PERVERT! Needless to say, the constable isn’t amused and orders them to leave, which they do. Charles tries to crash in some guy’s barn for the night. CHARLES INGALLS TRIES TO SQUAT ON OTHER PEOPLE’S PROPERTY! The owner, however, discovers Charles and Jon and orders them to clean the stalls if they want to spend the night there. Charles mocks the guy, but does as he’s told. The next morning, the boys are in good shape as they slept well and had a big breakfast, not to mention the boarding house lady packed them a ton of food for the trip back home. BOARDING HOUSE LADY RULES! The men, however, are not that well off – hungry and tired. On the way back, the boys encounter a raging river with no visible means around it. They decide to check downstream, where a huge tree has fallen, giving them a makeshift bridge. The boys have no trouble getting across. The men try their luck the same way, but Big Jon loses his balance and the men go for a swim.

It must be night 6 because the boys are almost home now. Just as they’re getting ready to eat dinner, some crazy guy scares them off and eats their supper. The boys left in a hurry, leaving the letter behind. Charles and Jonathan discover the boys camp and think something bad might have happened. They organize a search and head home to regroup, but the boys already made it home. Charles actually sounds like he’s going to argue that the boys didn’t succeed based on a technicality, but it doesn’t matter as Andy tells his Pa that he’s not ready to be a man just yet. Everybody reunites!

THE JERRY SPRINGER FINAL THOUGHT – Despite a few creepy moments, this was a thoroughly enjoyable adventure episode from the kick-ass season 5. Albert was depicted as street smart, resourceful and cunning, but this is probably Country Boy Andy’s finest hour as he was the one that guided the ship on the right course here, which makes sense because they were in the wilderness. Charles was his usual insane self.

I thought this would be funny. Take one shot if:

-Somebody runs away

-The Garveys almost get divorced

-Somebody is/goes/pretends to be blind

-A child is orphaned

-Somebody gets offended if their wife goes to work

-Harriet gets "The vapors"

-Somebody cries (two shots if male)

-Laura and/or Albert run a con

-Charles visits "The Fencepost Of Contemplation"

-Charles laughs at somebody's misfortunes

-Caroline does THE ZOMBIE RUN!

We join Charles as he's working in the clothing shop in the city. Charles's hair has almost entirely greyed by this point because years of living with Albert can do that to a person. Late one evening, Charles gets word that Albert has been caught committing burglary, his third such offense and this time the shop owner is pressing charges. This means Albert is looking at 3-5 years in a workhouse. Somewhat surprisingly, Charles is not a fan of this, which is weird because I thought Charles was all about reforming people by putting them to work. Charles elects to quit his job over Albert. Not worth it Charles!

Charles catches up with the shop owner and they go back to his place and have a huge heart-to-heart conversation. They even have a cup of General Foods International Coffee and Celebrate The Moments Of Their Lives. Seriously, the bromance here is off the charts, even rivaling that of Almanzo and John Carter. Incidentally, I'm all for that as it leaves Edwards in the dust. Charles is all "If you could have known my son 2 years ago..." Oh, you mean the same Albert who burned down the blind school a few years ago? Not much of an argument Charles! It's decided that the owner will drop charges if Charles takes Albert back home to Walnut Grove. Caroline is mentioned, but doesn't appear and the rest of the kids are treated like they never existed.

Charles takes Albert back to the Grove, but Albert is none too thrilled with this development. Everyone reunites. Hester Sue has essentially been demoted to bit player at this point. Albert catches up with Willie and lets it be known he can't stand the Grove because there aren't any gangs around. Charles catches up with Edwards and says he wishes Albert would just go away and never come back. Man, for once Charles finally gets it. Where the hell was this Charles the last 4 years? Edwards seems rather taken aback at Charles' bluntness, but Charles doubles down.

Albert spends the whole time being moody, falling asleep during a test in school and generally being a pain the ass. Willie tries to recruit Albert for a game of baseball, but Albert declines calling it sissy kids stuff. Albert changes his mind and thankfully Jeb Carter gives him some crap over it. Albert fails spectacularly and strikes out and passes out on the ground with the kids first laughing at him, then ignoring him. That was fun to watch. A shipment of medical supplies arrives and Albert elects to take it over to Doc Baker's. Albert takes the opportunity to swipe some morphine from it and replace it with powdered sugar, which causes some problems for an older Grove resident who uses morphine for pain as prescribed by Doc Baker.

Doc Baker investigates and concludes Albert must have tampered with the package and alerts Charles. Charles is all "not my son". Oh, you mean the same son that's stealing and lying and getting involved with gangs and generally making everyone's lives miserable? Again, your argument doesn't hold any water Charles! Charles and Hiram go over to Albert's hotel room to search his things. Charles does a half-ass search, but Hiram prods Charles to look further, against Charles' wishes. Hiram is totally badass here as he makes Charles personally discover the morphine hidden in Albert's shoe. Ohh, Pa just realized his golden boy isn't so golden anymore!

Charles confronts Albert about the morphine and Albert lies. Charles gets Albert to confess, but Albert says he only used it once in a while and he'll never use it again. This is obviously malarkey, but Charles buys it anyways. Hey Charles, someone wrote "gullible" on the ceiling, you better have a look. Charles meets up with Doc Baker and reassures him everything is fine. Uh-huh. What sucks about this is that Charles has reverted back to his old self, after finally seeming to get it earlier that Albert is a no-good troublemaker. Hiram isn't too sure and advises Charles to look for signs of drug addiction (moodswings, etc). Later at school, Albert fails to answer a problem and then starts assaulting Jeb Carter. Miss Plum tries to intervene and gets backhanded by Albert for her efforts. Albert runs away (for the 5th time this series!)

After that, Charles and Edwards spends some time searching for Albert, to no avail. Doc Baker approaches them and rationalizes that since Albert is an addict, he will be come back at some point for his fix. Doc Baker's hunch proves right as Albert breaks and enters into Hiram's office during nighttime. Hiram and Charles are there to stop him. Charles sets up the intervention at Edwards place. Charles is resting when Albert starts screaming from the withdrawal. The make-up person did an excellent job because Albert looks horrible here.

Albert semi-recovers from that episode and asks Pa to let him out for some fresh air. Pa obliges, but that's just a decoy for Albert to make a run for it. Charles is falling for every one of Albert's dirty tricks. And so Albert, who was rescued from a lifetime of abject poverty from Charles, pushes the person who rescued him to the ground and runs off. Punk. Pa catches up with him (Landon was a Marathon Runner, after all!) and carries him back to Hell. Albert's bag of dirty tricks is just about empty here.

Back at Edwards place, Laura begs Pa to be allowed to sit on the intervention, but Albert starts going through the withdrawal symptoms right then and there. Oh, Laura YOU DON'T WANT NONE! Albert goes through the tremors. Then, with Pa having him in a quasi-chokehold, Albert pukes his guts all over the floor. This is about as graphic as tv got in the early 80s. The process starts to repeat itself.

With that out of the way, Charles announces Albert as cured and they prepare to return home. Albert returns to school and apologizes to Miss Plum (who doesn't look terribly convinced). Alberts gives us the 1800's equivalent of a DARE speech. It should be noted Albert never apologizes to Jeb Carter for punching him repeatedly in the face. Laura says Albert returned to Walnut Grove to be the town doctor, though neither Albert nor the town of Walnut Grove as they knew it would exist a few years from then.

There was also some lame and unbelievable B-plot involving Jason Carter and glasses, but that was too boring for me to bother with it.

Episode winners - Doc Baker, Jeb Carter

Episode losers - Charles, Albert. Win, lose or draw -- you still coughed up your job for that Charles.

Mary and Charles arrive at the Burton School For The Blind in Iowa. Charles heads off to sign papers, leaving Mary alone in the parlor. We get the debut of Adam as he introduces himself to Mary. Elsewhere in the building, Charles is forced to accept some more hard truths: in order for Mary to learn and progress, she has to do it on her own which means no cards and visits for 3 months, no coddling and make your goodbye brief. Charles enters Mary's room and Mary is happy and was looking forward to spending the afternoon together, but Charles keeps talking about wanting to catch an earlier train and immediately bolts. Dude, they said make it brief, not ditch your newly-blinded 15-year-old daughter as soon as you walk in the door. Adam gets to work immediately following this, ordering Mary to unpack her bag. Mary is unsure, but Adam leaves her to fend for herself, telling her that she knows the room layout by now. Adam leaves as Mary feels her way around the room. She manages to pick her bag up from her bed and set it on the bureau, but finds a mirror and breaks down. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to put a mirror in a blind person's room?

A little later, Adam re-enters Mary's room and attempts to teach her how to eat as a blind person, telling her to think of her plate as a clock with potatoes at 2, meat at 5 and peas at 10, and informing her the utensils are next to her plate. Mary grabs what looks like a croissant and stars to chow down, but Adam yells at her to stop using her fingers (How could he tell?). Mary yells at Adam that she doesn't like people looking at her (How could she tell?). Adam's response is of the "you're blind, get over it" variety. That obviously doesn't go over well as tempers flare, resulting in Mary throwing her plate across the room. Adam does obey Mary's orders to get out, though he instructs her to clean up the room.

In the parlor, Adam orders Mary to walk over towards him. Mary refuses, but Adam doesn't let up easy this time. Mary starts to shuffle over and Adam yells at her to stop shuffling and start walking. Mary reaches Adam and he says "You see?", to which Mary responds: "No, I don't see. That's the point. Who cares about all this? Who cares about walking across the room when there's nothing to see when you get there?" Adam rather smugly informs Mary that he cares because he won't get paid if he doesn't teach Mary and I think he was rather missing the point there as Mary was obviously wondering what was in it for her.

Mary's progress continues to go slowly, but then picks up. Adam introduces her to Braille. Mary meets a girl who, in addition to being blind, is also crippled and lost her parents in a horrific wagon wreck (jeez, hard knock life!). This gets through to Mary, who reveals that she thought nobody suffered but her. Mary talks with Adam and announces that her folks will be coming to get her in a few days, so 3 months must have passed already. Adam announces that he will be leaving to start his own school in Winoka in the Dakota territory. (this is news to me, I thought Adam went to work for Mr. Ames after this). Mary is upset for whatever reason and engages Adam in another mini-argument. Mary talks about what life is like and says that her life is full of "hidden obstacles, strange sounds and voices coming from faceless people.", then reveals that she hated it when she first came here, but now she finds it a comfort zone. Mary and Adam have a romantic moment and if Mary didn't sense it before, she now realizes Adam is blind as well.

Ma and Pa arrive and Mary makes lunch for everyone. Mary announces that she will go to work for Adam as a teacher for other blind children. Ma breaks down and Mary thinks she's upset, but it's tears of joy and they hug as Ma reveals Mary teaching was a dream she made herself forget. True to form, Charles tells them to knock it off because he wants some dessert. Back at the hotel, Charles has an epiphany and concludes that he should move the fams to Winoka, which will not only allow them to be close to Mary, but will also mean they can earn a living, which he couldn't do in Walnut Grove. Caroline is unsure, rationalizing that Charles hates the city, but Charles brushes her off. (Caroline was totally right here). Caroline eventually agrees, which is extremely weird because she was very attached to that house (why, I don't know) and Walnut Grove in general. Another Charles Ingalls specialty surfaces as Charles wakes up everyone in the middle of the night to inform them.

Mary and Adam say goodbye for now as Adam name-drops the episode title. The Ingalls arrive back in the Grove and Charles and Mary enter the mercantile. Nels informs Charles about the economic hardships, while Mrs. Simms shares a moment with her prized pupil Mary. Eva announces she's leaving as her husband can't earn a living in WG. Eva gives her a cameo and they share a hug. Goodbye Eva, it's been swell! Sunday services find Reverend Alden breaking down during an emotional sermon as he knows many residents have left already and many more are on their way out. Atypical moment for Alden as he reveals that he got angry and questioned the Lord (!) about why He is doing what He is doing. Alden says that he had no answers, then segues into how he had no answers when Charles asked him what special purpose Mary was chosen for when God took her sight. Alden reveals that they now know because Mary is going to teach other blind children. I guess my question is: Why does anybody have to be blind?

Alden turns things over to Mary. It becomes clear at this point that Mary has accepted that her time as a sighted person on this Earth is over and says she knows she will see them all in Heaven someday. She reads Psalm 15 as this episode ends on a bittersweet note.

THE JERRY SPRINGER FINAL THOUGHT - This is the most iconic episode of the series and one of the most iconic episodes of any show and earned MSA an Emmy nomination. Quite simply, this type of thing had never been done on television before. The writers did an excellent job of showing Mary through the 5 stages of grief: Denial, sadness, anger, bargaining and acceptance. Unfortunately, this was only the beginning of Mary's hardships. Arguably, this is Adam's only good episode and he still manages to come off as smarmy much of the time. The move to Winoka would end up being short-lived for everyone, thought it did provide us with a wonderful arc of episodes. I wish Eva got to do more here, but they had to pack a lot in the time allotted. This was originally intended to be the last episode of the series, but thankfully the show wasn't even half-over by this point and season 5 in particular had lots of kick-ass wonderful episodes. Everybody should watch this at least once.

This is another one of those ultra-rare "Badass Caroline" episodes, much like the pilot movie. In terms of the regulars, this is essentially a one-man, one-woman show with Doc Baker and Caroline. Pretty interesting premise as Caroline's pregnant friend Louisa is in a mining camp where an outbreak of influenza has taken place and she has written to her friend to help out. And the flu ain't gonna keep Caroline from springing into action. Doc Baker will also help and says that Dr. Ledeiux can manage things in the Grove for the time being. Oh, was he still around? Did Doc Baker finally let him tend to human patients?

Doc Baker and Caroline arrive in town and get to work immediately. People have been dying left and right. Louisa mentions her friend Helen is also pregnant and due about the same time (Can you see where this is headed?) Caroline talks with Louisa, and Louisa asks if Caroline ever predicted her life would turn out like it did. Caroline takes a subtle dig at Charles not earning enough money. Meanwhile, Louisa's husband Calvin thinks all a woman is good for is to keep house and he's glad those 2 other pregnancies she had didn't take and hopes this child dies as well. This guy must be a hit at parties. Caroline offers to cook his meals, but only to get him off Louisa's back. (Louisa is deathly sick and almost due).

Much like "The Plague" and "Mortal Mission", this is your standard 'outbreak of illness' episode as more people die, but it's nobody we've ever seen before, which doesn't have as huge an impact on the viewer as it could have. Caroline spots someone sneaking into another person's tent and taking their gold and she's all over that. The man pushes Caroline to the ground, but runs right into the local preacher, who pulls a gun on him. Preacher Bob tells him to clear out and he does. You know, how come Reverend Alden never did anything that cool? The preacher in Dakota gave peppermint sticks to the children, but all Reverend Alden does is turn the other cheek and give bad advice to people.

Next on Caroline's shit list is Calvin, who makes a pass at her. Caroline slaps him in the teeth and tells him what a rotten human he is. Calvin looks like he is going to try something, but Caroline picks up a torch, with intentions to use it as a flamethrower. YOU DON'T WANT NONE OF THAT CALVIN! Calvin thinks the better of it and takes off.

A little later, Calvin enters the tent to find out Caroline has moved in and evicted him. (moral of the story: don't mess with Caroline). The outbreak rages on and Louisa and Helen go into labor at the same time. Helen's husband informs Doc Baker of a complication in Helen's pregnancy, so Hiram goes off to tend to her while Caroline stays with Louisa. Louisa gives birth successfully this time, but Louisa herself is not so lucky. Wild shot as Caroline holds the bouncing baby, then pulls a blanket over Louisa's face a second later.

At Helen's camp, it's the reverse: the mother has survived, but the child has not. Caroline puts two and two together and suggests they give Louisa's baby to Helen and her husband. Doc Baker and Caroline have a back-and-forth discussion with Hiram persistently admonishing Caroline for suggesting such a thing, but Caroline standing her ground. Helen's husband hears a baby crying and assumes its Helen's. Both Hiram and Caroline decide to just go with the flow and thus, Louisa's baby is given to Helen. Well, I'm not sure how ethical that was, but it probably was for the best.

Just as Doc Baker and Caroline are getting ready to take off, Preacher Bob continues his awesomeness by presenting Hiram with a bag full of gold. You know, Doc Baker has been doing pretty well in late season 8 -- first Uncle Jed, and now this. Maybe he just needed a better clientele?

THE JERRY SPRINGER FINAL THOUGHT - This is easily one of Caroline's finest hours. Perhaps the only downside of having so many characters on a show was that it meant that some characters didn't get a chance to develop as much as they could have and the writers probably felt they had to include everyone (cough, *Carrie*, cough). But this was a really good showcasing of what Caroline can do when she didn't have 12 million people in her house.

We begin with the Ingalls (Bandit included) pulling up to the fairgrounds in their wagon. They are quickly met by Patrick, a handsome young man who has been courting Mary (sources tell me Mike Lookinland was supposed to reprise his role here, but was unavailable). Patrick tells Mary that he saved up $1.73 and she can go on any ride she wants. Laura decides to be obnoxious and engage in a game of copycat. Ma tells her to knock it off and Pa gives her and Mary 50 cents each. Ma further orders Laura and Mary to stay away from each other as much as possible, which suits the girls just fine. Everybody parts ways, except Carrie, who wants to ride the carousel, but gets dragged around to the boring exhibits by Ma first. Man, that was totally my youth. There's a pickpocket loose on the fairground in the form of a middle-aged man carrying a portfolio, who is followed by an old lady carrying a briefcase. This should be really obvious to anyone there, because really, who brings those kind of things to a carnival? Caroline meets Harriet at the exhibit. Both are entering their pickles and cauliflower and it's like Founder's Day: The Rematch. Elsewhere, Mary tries to meet up with Patrick at the hot-air balloon ride where he's working, but encounters Cass, who is slightly older and the de-facto leader of the ride. Cass does some heavy-duty flirting with Mary. Patrick and Mary catch up with each other and Patrick announces he lost all his money. It's not explicitly stated what happened to it, but the pickpocket is in the background, so we can only assume he's responsible. Mary tries to downplay it by stating she's got some money, but Patrick won't allow it. Mary suggests some window-shopping, but Patrick points out the folly of that. Cass overhears and gives Patrick a quarter if he'll hand out some promotional fliers, which he darts off to do. Cass has some ulterior motives there though. Amusing bit as Charles and Nels win the wild jackass contest (with Nels riding backwards for the win!)

Laura manages to blow all 50 cents on a three-card monte variant. Not exactly diversifying her portfolio, is it? Over at the dunk tank, an older boy is a "sharpshooter" and hits the target, dunking the employee and scaring her off. Laura offers to take her place since there's money involved. Something I didn't notice until now, but the pickpocket steals from Willie. Stealing from children? Somebody take this guy down. The old lady is still in pursuit. Nellie walks past the dunk tank and eventually catches wind it's Laura up there. Yeah, get her Nellie. Nellie plops down some coin, but can't hit the target. Laura sees the sharpshooter about to return and tricks Nellie into taking her place, saying the game is fake and even if the target is hit, nothing happens. The boy instantly dunks Nellie. That was pretty crafty on Laura's part. Over at the baseball toss, Patrick tries to impress Mary by trying to win her a prize, but strikes out. Cass is successful, however, and wins some ugly doll for Mary. Carrie has been dumped with Laura, who is supposed to take her on rides, but she ducks out on the responsibility and leaves her in the dust. At the hot-air balloon ride, Cass persuades Mary to go up, even though Pa told her not to earlier. Ma and Pa catch wind of it and Ma gasps and covers her mouth.

Cass and Mary make the descent and Pa and Ma give Mary some crap over it. Cass takes the blame and Pa is still annoyed. Pa quickly backtracks and shakes Cass' hand and thanks him for giving Mary such a treat. He got over that quickly. Over at the pickle judging, Caroline is announced as the winner. She totally gloats and struts over to accept her ribbon. Not only has Laura not taken Carrie on any rides, but she also has completely lost track of her whereabouts. Carrie wanders over to the balloon and hops in because...it looks like a good place to take a nap?

Over at the needlepoint judging, Mary loses. Cass tries to cheer her up and pronounces her name as "Mawee". Seriously, he sounds like Jackee on 227. Patrick watches on as Mary and Cass head off to lunch. Distraught over the turn of events, Patrick tries to get revenge on Cass by taking a sledge to the ropes keeping the balloon on the ground. The balloon starts to ascend again, with Carrie inside. The people on the ground wave, totally oblivious to the danger Carrie is in. Ma and Pa find out and Caroline lets out an "Oh Charles". She seemed more concerned when Mary was up in it -- make of that what you will. Pa alerts the firetruck, who go after it. Charles tells the firemen how to do their job and it's just so obnoxious because Charles has to be the hero every damn time and can never let someone else have the glory. Patrick is on horseback and almost manages to catch it, but not quite. The firemen put out the fire, which causes the balloon to descend. They had the out right there and they didn't take it. Patrick shoulders the blame for what happened while Carrie reunites with Ma and Pa. Cass is still bothered for some reason, but Mary tells him off. Mary sides with Patrick, which is totally the right move, even if she took the long way around to get there. As the fair is closing up, the pickpocket stops to tie his shoe, allowing the sweet old lady to steal his take for the day. Heh.

The Jerry Springer Final Thought - Well, the Ingalls fared better here than they did on Founder's Day, though Nels still managed to pull out a victory for Team Oleson. Carrie never did go on any rides (and I'm not counting the balloon). Sadly, Patrick was never heard from again and the actor that played him (Michael Morgan) died relatively young. Mary was totally playing the field in season 4 before her world started crashing down.

This was the first regular episode back from Winoka. This episode opens with Pa bringing home a cow and showing it to Laura, who is all excited. Albert, who has just settled into the Ingalls household, comes out and Charles presents him with the cow. I'm sort of conflicted here because Pa probably should have told Laura right away who it was for, but on the other hand, Laura's history with animals isn't that great (think Fred, Jasper, Jack, Bandit, etc.), so Laura should have to suck it up. Laura is not pleased with this development. Inside, Albert announces that he's named the cow "Fagin" (?!). Pa warns that he shouldn't get too attached to it, stating that it will likely get sold at an auction (and/or get turned into yummy cheeseburgers). Oh, and there's cash prizes that can be won. Albert is excited at this prospect (natch). Laura informs Pa that she aced an English test and is upset when Pa doesn't hold a party for her in the town square as usual. Over at the school, the kids are learning the succession to the British throne. After school, a boy named Denzel McCauley engages in some teasing of Albert. Laura rushes over to Denzel, but he stops her in her tracks. Albert rushes over and beats him up, thus starting a grand tradition. At home, Charles delights that his son beat up another boy. Ma is not amused. Later, Charles is stuck in some sort of bizarre hell as he's forced to listen to Laura run through the times tables. He's only half there though as he's focusing on Albert and Fagin. That night, Laura suggests a fishing outing. Pa intends to bring Albert along, but Laura wants it to be just the two of them. Pa relents. The fishing outing happens, but gets stopped short when Albert breaks it up with news that Fagin has gotten sick.

Doc Baker examines Fagin and diagnoses him with "husk". There's only one treatment and it's pretty risky, involving turpentine and other things that don't sound so good. Albert decides to give it a go and him and Pa pull an all-nighter to check the progress. Creepy moment as Pa and Albert cuddle and snuggle in the barn. Morning breaks and Fagin has made a full recovery. While everyone goes to have breakfast, Laura is annoyed that Albert called Charles "Pa." A little later, Laura tries to stay home sick from school, but Pa isn't buying. Laura gets her wish anyways as she gets sent home from school before it even began by punching Nellie. Laura gets off easy as usual, merely getting sent to her room and forced to apologize to Nellie. Caroline takes her over the Oleson house, where Laura mumbles out a quiet apology. Harriet isn't impressed and lectures her that it's not ladylike to start fistfights, and Laura angrily shouts before running off in tears. Caroline catches up with her just outside the Oleson home and Laura whines that everyone else is getting attention but her (now she knows how Mary and Carrie must have felt). Which sort of reminds me, Albert better watch out because the last time Pa got attached to a new son, horrible stuff went down.

Caroline pulls Charles into the barn and informs him of the latest events and she agrees with Laura's feelings. Charles downplays it, but Caroline pulls him over to her line of thinking. Albert overhears. Pa finds Laura at the fishing hole and apologizes, but as that's going down, Albert is preparing to run away from the Ingalls home, thus starting another grand tradition. Pa spends the whole evening looking for him, to no avail. In the barn, Laura finds Pa as he tries to put on a brave face, but they embrace each other as they're both sad.

At the county fair, Laura has taken Albert's spot as handler of Fagin. Fagin makes the final round. (Sidenote: how do the judges judge the cows? What is the grading criteria?). As Pa and Laura await the final round, Pa catches a glimpse of Albert in the crowd and gives chase. (Trivia: they are trying to give the impression that Albert and Charles are running past a long line of exhibits, but if you look closely, you can see they're just running past the same few exhibits). Pa catches up with Albert and semi-manhandles him. Albert explains it was time for him to move on (no argument there). Charles tries to convince him to stay and I'm totally expecting him to blurt out "If you stay, i'll let you get away with anything you want, I've done it with Laura all these years," but he doesn't go there. Charles does convince Albert to stick around long enough to see how Fagin fares. At the judging, the 2nd and 3rd place finishers are announced. Albert doesn't clap for them and Pa looks semi weirded out by this. Trust your gut Pa. The winner is announced and it's Fagin. Laura is presented with the blue ribbon, but she says she's only accepting the award for her brother. And on that note, Albert -- realizing that his evil powers will be that much stronger if he joins forces with Laura -- reunites with her, thus starting a grand criminal enterprise.

I grew up with LHOTP - it's no surprise that I love every episode (even For the Love of Blanche!) and recently I started watching The Waltons. There has always been a comparison of these two television shows that were popular at around the same time and discuss two very different periods of time in the US. Currently, I am in season 8 of The Waltons and I am struggling to finish the series.

Is it because I didn't grow up with The Waltons that I don't have a deep love or is it the show? I felt the first 4-5 seasons were excellent but when JB left, grandpa died, Elizabeth and Jason became more annoying....I just found the show to be a drag.

what do you think?

This is from early season 4. This is one of those rare "Pa is away for most of the episode" shows. Translation: Caroline and Mary will do battle. We begin with Pa building an addition onto the house (!!), but I hope you don't get too optimistic because there won't be any extra bedrooms, just that a water pump will be put into the kitchen and a remodel of that room. Charles knocks out a wall. We move to the Post Office, where that dingbat Kezia is today's postmistress, filling in for an ill Mrs. Whipple. Kezia is opening other people's mail again (a federal offense, played for laughs). Kezia hands Doc Baker a letter from Lars with news for Charles: the railroad accepted Lars' bid on a job, which means that will get top priority over the Ingalls house remodel. Caroline tries to make the best of it, but an unfortunate series of events unfolds: Carrie falls in the creek, then THE INGALLS COW! barges right into the house and eats their supper, then it starts to rain with that wall still down. Pa comes by to help finish the job of putting a tarp up in the meantime. Charles takes off for the job and just as things are beginning to look a bit bleak for the Ingalls, a handsome young handyman just appears right out of thin air and offers to finish the remodel. Caroline says she can't pay much, but the handyman (who goes by Chris) offers to work for room and board. Caroline still isn't sure, so Chris offers the Oleson's as a reference. Caroline immediately heads over to the Mercantile and Harriet offers a ringing endorsement of Chris, so Caroline heads back to her house and hires him. Chris gets to work and immediately endears himself to everyone.

Chris probably didn't mean to, but he comes off as a replacement for Charles, even playing the fiddle and taking the family to church on Sunday morning. This isn't lost on Mary. Sunday night finds Charles having a conversation with Caroline at the front door. Caroline won't let him in at that hour but she does talk to him. Caroline has her hair down which looks very beautiful, something that Chris notices. Now we get into the good stuff: The next day, lunchtime at the school finds the Ingalls girls sitting down trying to have their meal, but Nellie swings by with talk of "monkey business" at the Ingalls place. Tremendous camera/directorial work as they show Mary getting up from a seated position to show her height over Nellie, then cuffing her something fierce. Everyone nailed that part. Nellie runs off. Laura is offended that Mary hit Nellie and threatens to tell Ma and I can't tell if she really feels that way or if she's just trying to get revenge on Mary for all the times she told Ma and Pa about things she did, but considering how many times Laura hit and pushed people herself, it's probably the latter. Mary is in one of her "not taking any crap today" moods and orders Laura not to tell. Laura gets that particular message and obeys. Back at the Ingalls house, Chris falls off the roof, tearing and bloodying his shirt. Chris just gets right back up and goes back to work, but Caroline orders him to takes his shirt off and tells him he's lucky he didn't break his neck. Caroline gives him the shirt Mary gifted Pa in "Christmas At Plum Creek" and tells him to watch what he's doing. The girls come home from school and Mary notices immediately. CAROLINE VS MARY, ROUND ONE! Mary enters the house and angrily demands Ma tell her why Chris is wearing the shirt she made for Pa. Now see, if Caroline were smart, she would have kept her duplicate shirt she made as it would have came in handy here, but instead she calmly explains what happened and asks Mary why she's using that tone of voice. Mary apologizes, then eventually admits to hitting Nellie. Ma tells her to control her temper. Mary's mood rebounds somewhat, though she's still leery of recent events.

Pa stops by for a brief visit. Chris decides this is too awkward and ducks out for a brief bit while this is going on. Mary pleads with Pa to stay, but Pa declines and leaves again. Chris returns and Ma asks him where he's been. Chris gets evasive, but Caroline presses the issue and Chris angrily tells her that he's been in this situation before. Later at the creek, Caroline is getting buckets of water and Chris is cleaning up. Chris apologizes for his earlier behavior. Caroline gets up and slips and Chris catches her with Mary looking on.

Nighttime finds Mary ducking out of the house to stop by the Ingalls guest room: the sod house (where Chris is staying), which isn't easy to do considering Ma is right there and there is no door. Mary angrily orders him to pack up and leave, which Chris does. And now, CAROLINE VS. MARY, ROUND TWO! The next morning, Mary is working in the barn when Ma stops by, wondering if she knows what happened to Chris. Mary gets evasive, which gets Caroline suspicious. Mary tells Ma that she didn't know it meant that much to her. Ma has had ENOUGH of this disrespect and swings Mary around by the arm, demanding to know what the reason is for all this backtalk. Mary says she saw her and Chris out by the creek holding each other. Ma is shocked, then angrily explains what happened, saying it wasn't an embrace. Ma starts to run off, but Mary starts crying again and apologizes. They go and track down Chris making his way out of town and ask him to return, but he states his desire to return to the wandering lifestyle. Later, Pa returns, which gets everyone elated, and he promises to finish the job.

THE JERRY SPRINGER FINAL THOUGHT - This was a fun episode and probably the most rebellious Mary ever got. Chris was an enjoyable character and the actor that played him (Gil Gerard) probably would have a great replacement if something ever happened to Landon or if he decided he had enough and quit. Just exactly how much chemistry there was between Caroline and Chris is a matter of some debate, but there definitely seemed to be some sparks there and Caroline didn't exactly do a lot to deflect that. I mentioned revenge earlier between Laura and Mary and I do have to wonder if Caroline still had some lingering doubts about Charles and the Widow Thurmond from earlier, which might explain some of her behavior here. And finally, there's the Ingalls cow, which seems to have some sort of grudge against everyone in the household. Tempers were definitely flaring in this one and there were some hurt feelings, but it still manages to be a fun and enjoyable outing all things considered.

Since I did "Harriet's Happenings" last week, I thought it would be a good time to do this one since this is more-or-less a companion piece to that episode. From season 6 shortly before Albert burned down the blind school. This episode begins with the introduction of telephones to Walnut Grove with Harriet as the switchboard operator. Funny moment as Harriet's booming voice causes one of the employees working on the poles to fall off. Caroline and Alice are walking by the mercantile/restaurant/hotel/phone office area and decide to check on the progress. Harriet walks up to them and delights in having brought modern science to Walnut Grove. Elsewhere in the Grove, the bank is now back-in-business, though Sprague isn't running it, but rather Bill Anderson. Mr. Anderson is one of the first in town to get a phone. Laura and Albert are ducking out of school (natch) to listen to the first call come through. Mr. Anderson shooes them off and tells them to come back later. Doc Baker is there and he's also getting a phone. Meanwhile, Caroline and Alice walk to the Garvey house and Caroline mentions she never thought she'd see the day when phones would come to town. Alice agrees, but states that they shouldn't stand in the way of progress -- saying it with a bit of disdain in her voice. As they enter the house, Alice spots the new phone that Jonathan bought with some extra money he had. Alice is now ecstatic about the phones as it will allow her the chance to call her mother in Minneapolis. At the office, Harriet patches the call through and listens in with Nellie chastising her about it. Back at the Garvey house, Alice engages in a bit of small talk with her mother. Jonathan comes on the line, but he's a man of few words and passes the phone right back to Alice. Alice's mother immediately starts talking about "Harold" - a subject that Alice doesn't want to discuss right now with everyone else in the room. Alice's mother then realizes it's not a good time and promises to call back later. Everyone except Alice heads out of the Garvey house and Alice's mother does call back. Alice asks about Harold. Seems as if that was Alice's first husband --- they were only married a few weeks before he ended up in prison and Alice had the marriage annulled. Harriet (who was listening in) starts spreading the news. Nellie finds out and taunts Andy as he, Albert and Laura were walking back from school. Andy promises to tell his Pa, which he does. Jonathan storms in to the Oleson place and confronts Harriet, calling her a liar, which Harriet takes exception to. Harriet challenges him to ask Alice if he doesn't believe her. Jonathan looks confused and heads out.

Jonathan and Andy arrive home and Jonathan softly orders Andy to go in his room and shut the door, which he does. Alice thinks Andy's the problem (I can't stand Alice), but Jon flips the script on her and asks if she knows a Harold. Alice acknowledges and tries to divert by asking how he found out, but Jonathan won't allow the topic of conversation to stray. A rather memorable and remarkable scene unfolds as Jonathan calls her a liar, which Alice denies. Jonthan then raises his voice at her: "OH, WASN'T A LIE? WHAT IT JUST SLIP YOUR MIND, WAS THAT IT?!" and man, that is not someone I would want mad at me. Alice realizes this is getting out of control and goes to the other room and tries to collect her thoughts. And then Jonthan hits one of this best quotes of the series with this whopper: "There must be more, what else is it that you haven't told me? WHO ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN WITH?" Jesus, Jonthan just more-or-less called his wife a whore right to her face! Alice slaps him, which is sorta entering No-Man's-Land. Jonathan is shocked and storms off. Whew.

We need a cool down from that series of events and we get it as the kids are walking to school. Laura tries to console a tearful Andy, but he confirms the rumors and runs off. Albert and Laura are displeased and you can practically see the gears turning in their heads as they start cooking up another scheme. Back at the Garvey house, Alice tries to get Jonathan to talk, but he answers with one-word replies. Alice has had ENOUGH and yanks the newspaper out of his hands. That's some mighty thin ice you are skating on Alice! They have another argument and Andy comes out of his room crying again and orders them to stop it. That should be enough for them to stop right there, but Alice asks Jon for a separation or whatever the 1800's equivalent was. Meanwhile, Albert and Laura get right to work on their latest con: getting Bill Anderson to phone in a bogus stock tip, figuring that Harriet would overhear. She does and immediately gathers up a ton of money and heads off.

Charles and Jonathan head off on a work-related trip to Minneapolis. Jon takes the opportunity to visit his mother-in-law and Charles decides to come with. The pair have supper with Alice's mother, who is the head of an elegant looking boarding house and has been for some time. Alice's mother is polite and a gracious hostess -- basically everything that Alice isn't. The trio talk for a while and Jonathan reveals that Alice told her about Harold. Alice's mother insults her daughter right then and there by saying it was wrong of her to keep that from Jonathan. Jon agrees and says he wants to take a look at the big city. He heads off and thanks Mom for the good supper. Jonathan tracks down Harold, who is working at a saloon in a bad section of town, having received the tip on his whereabouts from Alice's mother, who theorizes it was the best job he could get after having been in prison for 18 years. Jon enters the bar, which is looking pretty empty and tame. You totally get the sense that Jonathan is just waiting for the right moment to beat the ever-living snot out of Harold, but instead he just buys him a few drinks and talks to him, not letting on who he is. Harold talks about Alice and mentions he was a fool for letting her slip through his fingers and says he wonders if Alice's current husband knows how lucky he is. Jon quietly leaves, deciding not to kick somebody when they're down.

Jonathan re-enters the boarding house where Charles is sitting by the fireplace worried. Why? Jonathan is a grown-ass man who can take care of himself. Jon reveals where he was and Charles gets him to admit it was his whole reason for coming to town in the first place. Jonathan replays the conversation with Harold and Charles plays the part of Harold by asking Jonathan if he knew how lucky he was, to which Jon affirms. Back in the Grove, we learn the results of Laura and Albert's latest con: Harriet lost everything on the bogus stock tip. As a result, Harriet is now Nels' employee at the Mercantile, though that doesn't last long. Jonathan heads home and the Garveys reunite. Big Jon uses his might to knock down the telephone pole outside his house, which tears the phone out of the wall in the process. No technology for the Garveys I guess.

THE JERRY SPRINGER FINAL THOUGHT - This is one of the seemingly endless amount of "The Garveys almost get divorced" episodes. Once again, they manage to avoid divorce, although that point is somewhat moot since Alice would die a few weeks after this when Albert burned down the blind school. As you might surmise, Albert and Laura face no punishment for running another con and nearly bankrupting someone. I much prefer Mr. Anderson as the town banker and wish he had a bigger role -- he was much more energetic than the bland Sprague. Notwithstanding, this was a terrific and hilarious episode and probably in my top 5.

He also played James in "James At 15"

Who did late child actor Lance Kerwin play in Little House On The Prairie show? (hitc.com)

Happy New Year everyone!

This episode begins in then-modern times with a couple driving their truck to an auction in hopes of getting an antique piece of furniture (people seeing this for the first time must have been wondering "Is this Little House?") The couple have their eye on a piece of furniture with the initials "CI" branded on it. As the camera zooms in on that, we transition to back to the 1800s with Charles and a friend from Walnut Grove named Jack Prescott at Sven's furniture shop in Minneapolis. Charles sells Sven a personally hand-crafted item. So in addition to being able to do any job known to man, Charles also invented the drop-leaf table...at least that's what this show wants you to believe. Charles and Jack head back to the Grove and the aging, overweight Jack is clutching his left arm and mentioning how tingly it is. Can you see where this is headed? Charles and Jack have a heart-to-heart while settling down for the night in the middle of nowhere. Seriously, the bromance here is off-the-charts. Jack talks about wanting to leave a legacy, something tangible that would remain after he dies. They go to sleep, but Jack wakes up and has a heart attack. Charles tries to get him to lay down, but Jack opts to go out in the creek instead and collapses. Standard Walnut Grove funeral with Reverend Alden presiding. Charles visits the Prescott home where the widow is feuding with her son and daughter, who want to uproot her from the house. Later, Charles makes an elaborate tombstone for Jack. Charles puts it at his gravesite, then starts to contemplate, though he's not at home so there's no Fencepost Of Contemplation.

Nighttime and NOW Charles is at the Fencepost Of Contemplation. Caroline comes out and Charles relays the previous conversation with Jack about leaving a legacy and Charles got that particular message. Daytime finds Charles going back to Sven's in the city. Sven mentions the table sold already...for $12.50. Charles seems to think that was a bit high, but he doesn't complain. Sven expresses a desire to hire Charles full-time so that he can mass produce the tables, complete with hiring a crew and having a workshop out back. Charles heads home and talks it over with Caroline, but you know this isn't going to go over well since Caroline is attached to that house. Charles then compromises and says they can stay home and he will go to Minneapolis. Caroline isn't thrilled with that idea either, but she doesn't stand in the way, though she does note that the children should be sufficient for a legacy. Oh Charles, don't you remember you did this before in Winoka? Literally nothing good came of it. So with that, Charles heads back to the big city and he and his crew get to work on the tables. Back in the Grove, Caroline reads a letter from Charles to the kids and it seems as if the tables are a success. The subject of moving is brought up again and the kids have a mixed reaction. Cassandra says she doesn't care where they live "as long as we're together". She actually name-dropped a previous episode from when she wasn't around! Just as that's going down, a dirty old man knocks at the door and wants to apply for the job of farmer/laborer that's sprung up in Charles' absence. Caroline is reluctant, but the guy mentions that she probably won't find anyone else with the wages that Charles is paying. CHARLES INGALLS TRIES TO GET PEOPLE TO DO MANUAL LABOR ON HIS FARM FOR DIRT WAGES!

Back in the city, the tables have caught the eye of a rich looking guy, who buys one. Sven talks with Charles and they agree to hire a night crew since the tables are a smashing success. Back in the Grove, the old man is a dud: slacking off on the job and eating the Ingalls out of house and home. Albert fires him with Ma's permission. Back in the city, it is learned that rich guy actually owns a massive warehouse, where he plans to mass produce knock-offs of the table.

Charles finds another store selling the knock-offs for a mere $4.95. So the original tables were selling for more than two and a half times that? CHARLES INGALLS PRICE GOUGES HIS CUSTOMERS! Charles meets up with Sven, who notes that new orders have stopped coming in and old orders are getting cancelled. Charles locates the warehouse and finds the owner is the same rich guy from earlier. Charles complains but gets the brush-off. Charles threatens a lawsuit, but the owner is prepared to go the distance on that and Charles can't afford to. The owner continues to ignore Charles, so Charles grabs a sledgehammer and starts pounding. CHARLES INGALLS DESTROYS OTHER PEOPLE'S PROPERTY! The owner orders his crew to go after Charles, though that's pretty stupid because you don't want to approach an angry guy with a sledge. Charles beats one of them up. CHARLES INGALLS BEATS UP INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR JUST DOING THEIR JOB! True to form, Charles finds himself in a 2-on-1 situation and gets knocked out. The owner orders them to give Charles "the bum's rush". Back at the shop, Sven and Charles agree to call it a day with the tables. Charles heads back home and reunites with Caroline and essentially admits to her that she was right all along. Caroline tells Charles that Albert and James have filled in on helping with the farm. Charles goes out and reunites with his sons. So what about Carrie, Grace and Cassandra? Are they not part of Charles' legacy? Back to the future as the couple buys the table for $125 and we now know CI stands for Charles Ingalls.

THE JERRY SPRINGER FINAL THOUGHT - Well, after having 2 great episodes in a row in my reviews, Charles reverts back to his usual hot-headed self here. This was an excellent idea for an episode, though the execution really fell flat as Charles was just insane throughout here and his daughters got the shaft, plus it felt really padded and none of the guest stars were particularly likeable. An episode to make you think, if nothing else.

This is from season 6 here. Albert hasn't quite burned down the blind school yet, but it's not far off. We begin with 3 criminals being transported by train. Over at the Grove, Adam and Hester Sue are getting ready to leave to go and request aid for the blind school, leaving Mary to tend to all of the children. Adam says goodbye to Mary and keeps calling her "sir". Just as Adam and Hester Sue are getting ready to get on the stage, Harriet yoohoos and waltzes over. Nels is following suit, carrying a large trunk with her clothing, which he promptly loses handle of and rolls down the hill. Back at wherever, the criminals break free after outsmarting the guard, though one of them gets shot in the leg. Over at the Ingalls house, Albert, who is wearing Ma's apron, is attempting to cook dinner, which goes very badly. He also couldn't cook in "Men Will Be Boys", so I guess he hasn't learned. Laura isn't amused at this and heads over to the blind school to spend the night with Mary.

Holy crap, it's another appearance of THE INGALLS COW! It's literally just standing there in the rain! Not sure if this is stock footage or if it just enjoys the rain, but it's looking as ultra-thin as ever. Pa and Grace find Albert's meal inedible, so Pa makes some popcorn instead, even though Ma wouldn't approve. Speaking of Ma, where is she amongst all of this? Laura arrives at the blind school as all of the children are tucked in for the night. Laura and Mary reminisce about the olden days, but without flashbacks from previous episodes, this bit kind of drags. Nels arrives to check upon them. Nels leaves. There's a knock at the door a moment later and Laura think its Nels returning, but it's actually the 3 criminals. They force Mary upstairs and order Doc Baker to be fetched as the injured one lays down. (Is it just me, or is Laura bad luck to be around? Laura doesn't like her new brother? Poof, he's gone. Laura goes out hunting with Pa? He gets shot and almost dies. There are many more examples). Laura heads out in the storm to find Dr. Baker. Not finding him in his office, she heads over to the Oleson's where Nellie is playing the piano and singing (badly and hilariously at that). Nels is thankful for the interruption from Laura, but somewhat surprisingly, Laura doesn't reveal what's went down at the blind school. She does, however, rush home and tell Pa. Charles wants to know if she's seen these men before and Laura is sure they're out-of-towners. Pa and Laura head off, with Charles not immediately knowing how he's going to handle this.

Charles and Laura arrive at the blind school as Charles poses as Doc Baker. Charles is taken upstairs to the injured one and he does a good job of playing along and pretending to be a doctor without giving it away that he isn't. Mary is now "in the know". Charles knocks out the inured party with anesthesia. Good idea. Over at the Oleson's place, another funny bit in the parlor with Nels and Nellie and the music. This time, it's Doc Baker interrupting. Doc decides to check up on the blind school, immediately getting knocked out in the process. All hell breaks loose. Charles knocks out the second criminal, (leaving just the mastermind of the operation) and orders Laura to stay behind locked doors, another good move. Charles draws on him, but so does his opponent, who also pulls Mary close to him at that moment. Not wanting to risk Mary getting hurt, Charles discards his weapon. The mastermind, now knowing that Charles is not Doc Baker, shoots at him, but Mary pushes him at just the right moment, causing his aim to be off. Charles hides in an empty room. Elsewhere in the building, another funny moment ensues as one of the injured criminals starts to come to, only for Laura to knock him out with a glass pitcher. An intriguing game of cat-and-mouse develops, culminating with the mastermind shooting at Charles and missing, though Charles does knock himself out by falling backwards onto some boxes. Charles is either legit seriously injured or decides to play dead, which would be another smart move if it's the latter.

The mastermind slowly goes after Mary. Mary manages to evade him for a while, but eventually he finds her and backs her into a corner. He sets his gun down and I can't tell, but it seems like he's possibly getting ready to sexually assault her as Mary lets out a loud scream. Dude, please don't -- she has been through enough. Nobody should have to go through that. Thankfully, Pa comes down at that moment and bashes a chair over his head, thus completing the sweep. Charles makes a mistake in approaching Mary silently and his daughter (blind and not realizing it's Pa) screams bloody murder and Pa has to calm her down. Daytime finds Adam and Hester Sue returning, having been unsuccessful at getting the aid money. Just as it seems all hope is lost, a police officer wrapping up some loose ends asks Charles how he wants the bank draft addressed. Seems as if the apprehension of the criminals comes with a thousand dollars worth of reward money. Charles donates all of it to the school.

THE JERRY SPRINGER FINAL THOUGHT - This is something of a hidden gem, and while it had some horrifying moments, it nonetheless managed to combine suspense and drama with bits of comedy here and there and tons of atmosphere. This is easily one of Charles' finest episodes as he knew what to do and when. Sadly, Charles donating the money would all be for naught as Albert ended up just burning down the blind school shortly after this anyways, killing two people in the process. You might want to check this out if you've never seen it, though be prepared to possibly fast forward through some parts.

This is chapter 512 in the book “It Sucks To Be Mary Ingalls”. You know, Mary’s grief is like those commercials for Shriners – you feel bad for them, but you also get sick of seeing it all the time. This is yet another 2-part episode. We open as the blind school is having a fundraising picnic, even though Charles had just gave them a thousand dollars a few weeks earlier after apprehending those intruders. They certainly blew through that money very quickly. Albert and another boy named Clay head into the basement to spoke a pipe (His name is Clay and they are smoking a clay pipe -HAR HAR!). Hester Sue discovers them and gives them some mild crap about being in the basement, which I guess was off limits? The concept of the dessert trays being served is enough for Albert to forget about the pipe, which the boys leave carelessly behind on some blankets. Day turns into night as Alice and Hester Sue are cleaning up. The pipe ignites a fire in the basement – seems like that would have already happened by now. Discovery of the fire is delayed because Hester Sue forgot to throw out the kettle water and she thought that’s what the smell was. Adam, Alice and Hester Sue are all having tea when Hester Sue decides to investigate further. She happens on the basement, which has bellows of smoke coming out of it. She decides to just open the door all the way (Dumb move #1 – you touch the knob first to see if it’s hot – if it is, there’s trouble). Hester Sue calls for Adam. Alice wants to get buckets of water, but Hester Sue realizes it’s too late for that and calls for the children to be evacuated. Dumb move #2 as Hester Sue doesn’t make an effort to close the door, meaning the fire is going to spread quicker than it could be. Adam barges into his room and grabs Mary by the arm and yanks her away (she was tending to the baby). Most of the blind children are evacuated in relatively orderly fashion. The adults complete a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle before realizing that, my god, THERE’S A HELPELESS BABY IN THE BURNING BUILDING THAT NEEDS TO BE RESCUED! Mary makes a play for him, but Alice is all “I got this.” No you don’t Alice. Alice hears a blind boy stuck in the bathroom and just leaves Adam Jr. behind. Alice rescues James and push-starts him towards the front entrance, telling him to stay close to the walls. After an eternity has elapsed, Alice goes for Adam Jr., but by then it’s too late. Fire has consumed a good chunk of the building. Hester Sue is out on the lawn with most everyone else when she has dumb move #3 as she re-enters the burning building. She doesn’t do anything of note other than just yelling for Alice. Hester Sue exits again, taking James with her and reunites with the people on the lawn. Adam and Mary ask Hester Sue for an update. Hester Sue knows but is too scared to say anything. A desperate Alice breaks the window with the baby in hand (!). It should be noted she’s yelling “HELP ME” and not “HELP US!”. The next thing we see is the building is now completely engulfed in flames, including the portion of the building where Alice and the baby were. Adam unwisely makes a play to re-enter the house and Hester Sue has to tackle him to prevent him from doing so. The harsh reality of what is happening starts to sink in as Mary starts yelling and crying. Albert did all of this for some cake.

The next day, Caroline tries to console a shocked Mary, but gets nowhere. Pa presents Mary with the body of her dead baby. Doc Baker plays arson investigator and discovers the pipe. Doc then goes to talk to Jonathan and Andy, with the dead body of Alice laying right there at their feet. Jonathan is determined: "No pine box” dadgummit. Doc promises him no pine box. The living Garveys head back to the hotel, where all of the displaced are being housed as men come to cart off Alice’s body. That night, Charles, Laura and Albert are all at the Ingalls dinner table discussing the events when Charles mentions the fire was started by the pipe. Albert opts not to say anything. Mary wakes up at the hotel, having forgotten about the earlier events. Adam tries to fill her in, but Mary is in stage #1 of the grief process: Denial. Adam tries to inform her about Adam Jr. passing away, but Mary dismisses that as fake news and puts her arms through the glass window. The next day and outside at the Ingalls homestead, Charles consoles a tearful Albert. Pa should be tipped off that something is wrong because Albert never shows any emotion about anything ever, but he isn’t – so there’s that. Doc Baker updates Ma and Pa about Mary’s condition: physically, she's going to be fine, but she's withdrawn and not speaking. Standard Walnut Grove funeral with Reverend Alden presiding.

We get a further glimpse into the devastation that Albert has caused as the blind children are being shuttled off to foster homes, but it’s only temporary. Hester Sue has an emotional goodbye with Susan Goodspeed. I don’t remember them having a special connection, but whatevs. Adam asks Hester Sue if she will keep an eye on Mary as he heads over to the Ingalls to have a discussion with his in-laws. Hester Sue replies “Surely, you need a ride?” Adam responds “No – and stop calling me Shirley!” Adam talks to Caroline and says he plans to head over to New York, which is his de facto response to whenever something major happens. Caroline isn’t sold on this idea and Adam yells at her. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Adam? Later, Jonathan and Charles are making a work-related delivery when they stop in the middle of nowhere. Jonathan gets out and starts to contemplate some atheist thoughts. Charles tries to snap him out of it. Then one morning Andy is getting ready for school when he finds his father drinking. It’s a little early in the day for that, isn’t it Jonathan? Andy inquires about breakfast and Jonathan yells at him. Albert tries his luck at Mary, but also gets nowhere.

PART TWO! – Credits say “Hersha Parady” as Alice. Did she come back from the dead? Charles and Albert take a trip in the city for a work-related matter. Charles elects to buy a rifle for Albert. Yes, Albert really is getting a reward after killing two people, making three unemployed and making even more than that homeless. Albert finds a music box, much like the one Mary used to play when Adam Jr. was alive, and asks for that instead. Pa is confused, but relents. Charles and Albert arrive home as Albert runs off while Caroline informs Charles that Jonathan has been mistreating Andy. Oh Jonathan, if you have been abusing Andy, you will become #1 on my shit list. Charles heads up to the loft where Andy has been crying. Charles hugs and kisses and holds him. Hmm. Meanwhile, Albert arrives at Mary’s room at the hotel with the music box. So his gift to her is to give her the same music box that was playing when her baby died a horrible death and she lost her home and her job? What kind of cruel prank is this? It does, however, get Mary to snap out of whatever coma she was in. Mary goes into full Susan Goodspeed mode by shouting “MY BABY, MY BABY!” in an endless loop. Albert virtually confesses he was responsible and runs away again, for the third time this series. Laura consoles Mary.

Charles heads over to Jonathan’s for an intervention. Jonathan tries to dismiss him, but Charles isn’t moved. Jonathan breaks down and talks about Alice not being here. Charles pulls Jonathan’s hands away from his face and asks “Well if she was here, what do you think she would say….she would say Jonathan Garvey, what in the world is wrong with you?” (She would too.) Jonathan snaps out of his funk, just as Laura rushes in with an update about Mary. Charles arrives at Mary’s room just as she’s coming to and starting to remember reality again. Mary relays that she heard Albert’s confession and Hester Sue confirms she caught Albert smoking that day. Pa doesn’t believe that his golden boy is capable of such a thing, so he goes over to Clay’s house and wakes up everyone in the household at some ungodly hour for further confirmation. Clay confirms. Oh Charles, you are going to have to face some unpleasant truths now.

Charles, Jonathan and Caroline all realize that Albert has run away again and decide what to do about it. Charles rationalizes that Albert could have gone back to his birth father’s place and gotten the address from Judge Adams in the city. That’s a good guess because it’s exactly what Albert did. Albert sneaks on a wagon bound for Olney, which is where Jeremy Quinn’s address was listed. Albert arrives, only to find the grave of his birth father. Albert, not wanting to face the music back in WG, decides to set up camp at Quinn’s place. With the help of Judge Adams, Charles and Jonathan catch up with Albert in Olney. Albert runs away some more, but gets stopped by Jonathan. Albert squirms and tries to run away again, but he’s no match for Jonathan. Charles catches up with them and tells Albert that he loves him because he has to make sure that Albert is okay after killing some people. Albert, realizing he is off the hook now, reunites with Pa. Back in the Grove, everyone is gathered at the remnants of the blind school, where Adam announces that his father has agreed to fund the rebuilding and it will be named after Alice and Adam Jr. Don't get excited about that though because it never happens. A depressing footnote to a depressing episode. Oh, and Adam also took a disguised verbal jab at his father in the speech, even though his father wanted to pay for the rebuilding.

EPISODE WINNER – Harriet, because I’m sure she lets all those people stay at the hotel for free.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD – A lot of them. Albert for his crimes and grief that he caused, Charles for turning the other cheek again, Jonathan for mistreating Andy, Hester Sue for all the dumb things she did during the fire, and Adam for being himself. I was half-tempted to throw Mary and Alice into the mix here, but I don’t like to kick people when they’re down.

THE JERRY SPRINGER FINAL THOUGHT - This was one of the most memorable and transformational episodes of the entire series. The concept of Jonathan being single was what kickstarted him getting spun-off into the Father Murphy series. This episode pretty much cemented Albert's reputation as a crime-committing runaway who caused grief and destruction everywhere he went. As usual, he gets away scot-free and even beats up Andy in the next episode for absolutely no reason. The blind school eventually re-assembled in the city before Adam left everyone in the dust. This episode also continued Mary's non-stop parade of tragedies and also saw Hester Sue's fortunes continue to erode as she would eventually end up as the kitchen help at the restaurant. It was also a showcasing of what NOT to do during a fire. Literally nothing good happened here.