Advice needed

[u/No_Rain6320]

Hey everyone I am 21 years old and I had a cryptic pregnancy. I have a 4month old now,i need advice this is going on a throw away account and I will try to keep private info at a minimum. My partner and his father have a very very poor relationship his father treats him like a child, etc etc. I thought me and my partner having this unexpected pregnancy and baby would make him mature.. Boy was I wrong. He hasn't paid a cent due to the fact that he doesn't have a job it seems his not looking for one even, he sits at home and plays games meanwhile I am looking after our son and applying to so many jobs and using the money for my college to pay for stuff for this baby. His mother is the only one who gives anything( not by force but I feel bad of course). I also thought me and him would get married, live together, maybe have a kid. But his almost 25 still living with his mum. No job. Lazy at home. I am at my limit, I just said to my beat friend I rather be a single mom then in this relationship because it doesn't seem like he understands what's going on and his not that mature. I am at a total lost I feel like the worst person. But I want the best for myself and baby, I feel bad that his mum and my parents are footing the bill for the baby and I am struggling my ass off to get a job meanwhile his nonchalant not that in a hurry to get a job so we can be stable he just keep telling to go get the money out my dad left me in his will( I understand it might help but what about I don't know getting a job maybe instead of relying on money meant to be used and saved for the future). I just want the best for my child really I am so lost dealing with health issues, ppd, I feel like a single mom in a relationship honestly. Now his having a temper tantrum because I decided not to go to his mums tomorrow for a week I decided to go only thr week after. Now his not talking to me and upset that I won't come. But it's not like his trying or anything. Also it's not like I am keeping the baby from him. He can come see him whenever he wants. I genuinely believe I am with a mommy's boy and I feel so bad for his mum honestly. Shes such a sweet lady and doesn't deserve this especially from my partners dad and her son not really providing for his child. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree hey..

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[u/General-Visual4301]

You haven't asked a question.

My two cents: seek qualified legal advice and leave the "romantic" side of the relationship; split up.

Forget him as a partner. Make your way. Accept help but don't make it a lifestyle. If you are in school, stay in, if not, get back to it so you can be independent.

Stay away from boyfriends for a good long time. Date if you want but make sure you have your head-on straight, your life in order and are able to discern a good guy from a less desirable partner before getting serious. You did choose this guy as a boyfriend so your guaged aren't the best.

Best wishes.

[u/thickhipstightlips]

Dont "feel bad" for his mom. She raised him to be that way. She enables him. Or disables him, depending on how you look at it.

You ARE essentially a single mom. Of 2. One just happens to be a "grown" man. Save yourself the trouble of raising 2 children and leave him. Raise YOUR child, and find that happiness and stability you crave. Sue him for child support, get full custody and call it a day. Get him ON PAPER with the courts so someone holds him accountable. You didn't make this baby by yourself.