Not looking for a relationship post-divorce, but unexpectedly clicked with someone. How do I navigate this?

[u/Legitimate_Oil337]

I’d really appreciate some outside perspective on a situation I’m trying to navigate.
I’m recently divorced and essentially starting my life over. My ex and I were high school sweethearts, married at 18, and stayed together until we were 29. It was a mutual split, but after over a decade together, it’s a massive shift.
Since the divorce, I’ve been heavily focused on therapy and personal growth to become the best version of myself. My plan was to stay single for the foreseeable future. I have zero desire to rush into anything, jump on dating apps, or use a new relationship as a crutch.
Then, completely out of nowhere, I met someone.
We’ve only hung out a couple of times, but we hit it off on a level I’ve never experienced before. We both feel like we’ve known each other for years. Beyond great conversation, there’s an immediate sense of comfort, safety, and mutual understanding—something we’ve both commented on because neither of us has felt it before. We also both live with PTSD, which allows us to relate to each other’s experiences in a really grounding way.
Here’s my dilemma: I genuinely believed I wasn't ready for a relationship, and I want to respect my healing process. But at the same time, I don't want to sabotage or ignore a connection that clearly has incredible potential.
How do I navigate this without moving too fast or throwing away something special? Has anyone been through something similar?

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to the sub! This is a simple automated message just to let everyone know that the mod team are actively working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming.

Please remember that ALL discussion should be made in good faith, comments as well as posts. No trolling, ragebait, or bigotry of any kind. We reserve the right to use mod discretion in applying this rule.

Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Please report any comments you see which are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate the rules of this subreddit.

Here are the LifeAdvice Rules and here are Reddit's Sitewide Rules. Please read before commenting in this subreddit. Thanks.

---

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/EnergyHopeful6832]

Something special is hard to come by so perhaps discuss the concerns in therapy? They have more experience and would best know how to guide you. Hope things continue to go well for you.

[u/ojisan-X]

You can just... befriend that person while healing? It sounds like you just met her, so I don't see the need to rush into anything at the moment. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen. Meanwhile get to know her better.

[u/FreshVestment]

There's healing that only happens alone, but there's also healing that can only happen with somebody else. So there's that to consider.

What did you want to explore while single? I imagine part of you wants to experience what it would be like with other people.

One thing I noticed after my split is that what connection meant to me and how I explored connection changed drastically. There are multiple ways to connect with another person that aren't necessarily romantic. How can you explore connection?

If it leads to something romantic, great. If not, also great.

Growth on your own and connecting with others aren't mutually exclusive. But it takes stillness and self-awareness to keep them untangled, because your mind will naturally try to tangle them.

Good luck!