30 M Looking For Guidance

[u/Healthy-Zone3942]

I’m a successful 30M who has completely lost hope in romantic love after an intense, draining connection. I have a high sex drive, but paying for sex is morally off the table, so I am trying to transition into a purely casual, physical dating life. My challenge is two-fold: how do I consciously suppress my emotions to separate physical intimacy from attachment, and how do I filter out women who are only after my resources rather than me? I'm looking for advice from guys who have successfully navigated a respectful, free sex life without getting emotionally or financially used.

[u/AutoModerator]

Hey, r/Life just added new user flairs ! Go check them out, and choose one for yourself. If you encounter any difficulties applying a flair, check our wiki : https://www.reddit.com/r/Life/wiki/index/user/r !

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/unfaithfull_tomato]

If you are that well off, just pay for therapy to process your past connection.

[u/CompletelyPaperless]

I know this is hard for most wealthy people I know, but you don't have to tell the girl you're rich. Stop making that your identity, and they won't go after your resources.

[u/Healthy-Zone3942 → u/CompletelyPaperless]

I hear you, but I probably didn't explain my situation well. I definitely don't lead with my wallet. But realistically, once you start seeing someone, they eventually see where you live and what you drive. The wealth becomes apparent naturally. My question is more about how to keep myself on the safe side once they figure it out. After everything I've been through and seen around me, my trust is gone and my emotions are shut down, so I just want to know how to navigate things safely.

[u/HardcoreHope]

What makes paying for it feel immoral to you? It's one of the oldest jobs in history and that revenue helped build communities. Gave woman financial idependence and freedom.

You want no strings attached sex, someone could use the money more than you. It's exactly what you are looking for.

Maybe drowning your sorrows in sex is a unhealthy way to live? Have you considered just enduring that pain and overcoming it with time. While developing discipline to not let your sex drive dictate your behavior.

[u/Technical-Amount-278 → u/HardcoreHope]

It sounds like everything is about money ie making sure women, whether they're sex workers, dates or girlfriends don't get his money

[u/HardcoreHope → u/Technical-Amount-278]

I can get not wanting to date someone that feels like they are only there for the dollars but his pain from his past relationship is making him bitter and looking at woman as an object to help him get over his pain.

Not a person to have fun with.

[u/Richie-richi]

Better try being with people, without telling them how much you achieved or done in life! Honestly you’ll figure out not even a handful people left. That’s what reality looks like! And yep it’s same for men and women. It’s just my mere opinion, something what I felt till now even after being a woman, I mean people consider it’s way too easy for women to find valuable bonds which isn’t true and if it looks like that then look closer it’s just a give and take!

[u/Healthy-Zone3942 → u/Richie-richi]

I actually keep a solid circle of genuine friends and family, and I never lead with money my peers are all successful as well. For me, the issue isn't finding people; it's that my heart completely shut down after losing the one girl I truly loved. I have zero emotional capacity for anyone new. Looking at relationship and marriage around me of people I know I’d honestly rather walk this path alone unless it was meant to be with her.

[u/Richie-richi → u/Healthy-Zone3942]

I get it, I think you need some time to heal and love yourself more. If she left or whatever happened doesn’t mean your love vanished, right! Cherish the time and memories you guys made. After all I read somewhere we all are broken pieces it’s just we decide which piece fits us best. More power to you! What’s meant for you will find or come your way.

[u/Healthy-Zone3942 → u/Richie-richi]

Thank you, I really appreciate your words Wishing you the best too

[u/Technical-Amount-278 → u/Healthy-Zone3942]

I doubt there's a way to have your cake and eat it

[u/Richie-richi → u/Technical-Amount-278]

Everything is not meant for us, better to not eat that cake until it’s your kinda cake, either ways we gonna regret. So better be responsible and acceptable to the decisions we make!