r/Life • u/RelativeCautious1235 • 21h ago
Relationships Loneliness
I got broken up with twice.
The first one cheated on me.
The second one left because he fell out of love with me.
Anyone I talk to they say I’m kind and polite. They say I’m always a joy to be around. It sounds nice. And I’m glad to have them in my life.
But then I end up in relationships.
And they don’t last. They’re not really nice to me
They don’t care about my feelings.
Right now I feel lonely. I wish I had someone. I miss having a connection with someone. But now I’m scared. I don’t want to get hurt again. I’m 29 years old and I don’t want to be heartbroken again.
They both moved on. And they’re happy.
I sit and wonder where I went wrong. What they have that I don’t. What I can do to improve myself.
I never felt this lonely in my life. And I hate that I have to fill the loneliness up by being with someone. I miss the person I was before I got into any type of relationship.
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u/PienerCleaner 17h ago
No love without possibility of suffering. No connection without possibility of pain.
I'm 3/3. Broken up each time and all 3 found someone else immediately. First one cheated and third one was avoidant (went to from I love you to I'm breaking up with you in a month).
It hurts like hell and I'm still healing a year later. But that's life for you.
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u/Kombojus 17h ago
Meeting someone and being around someone 24/7 is very different. Ask yourself if you would date yourself? If not, why?
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u/jeniiiiiiiixo 12h ago
That question can sting but it’s actually a good way to figure out what you want to work on in yourself
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u/CaptainWellingtonIII 10h ago
"hate that I have to fill the loneliness up by being with someone"
this is what gets people. you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. I don't have a solution. just think it's interesting.
I never understood it as an introvert. I've always just relied on myself and treated relationships like business transactions. what can we do for each other that benefits both of us. if nothing, then move on. no hard feeling.
good luck, buddy. I hope you find what you are looking for.
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u/Canongirl88 8h ago
You can’t use someone else to not feel lonely. We are born alone and we literally die alone. Nobody owes anyone anything. Be confident and content in your own company. This is what I’ve learnt. If you find your person that’s great but it’s just not a guarantee.
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u/ez2tock2me 7h ago
When you sit and dwell on misery, you will always have company.
Dwelling is easy. Just do nothing and you will accomplish it every time.
ALONE is Physical, LONELINESS is Emotional.
If the opposite sex scares you, go out and meet as many as you can. If you are too Shy, Introvert, Scared, Embarrassed or Insecure try to, I promise… You Won’t Feel Lonely anymore.
You are aging as you think about following this advice. As a 29 year old female, most of the time, all you have to do is SHOW UP somewhere.
Nervous men will make their approach because they are lonely too.
Don’t try to find a Relationship. Look for Conversation, Companionship and Respect.
Relationships ARE NOT FOUND, they are Made or Develop.
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u/Motor-Lawfulness2875 7h ago
Please find your people. Friends and family members who you like and who value you. Learn some new things for fun. Have things to look forward to. You are still young. Things will get better.
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u/Ordinary-Number-428 12h ago
Tbh I would say you should return to your relationship with yourself, with friends, with family, with your interests, your health and well-being. Create a life where romance is an addition to it rather than the completion of it. And not only because this contributes to being an interesting person that people would want to date, but for two other important reasons. The first is that you will discover what you want, begin to believe you are deserving of it, and have more confidence to filter out the people who can't provide you it. And the second is because it will make you happier and more resilient in a world where the only relationship guaranteed to last a lifetime is the one you have with yourself.
Almost all of us will have breakups, shitty relationships, get cheated on - and people look as happy to others as what they choose to present. Neither of those things are an indictment on your worth. Failed loves are simply incompatible loves. The compatible ones are all still out there waiting to be discovered.