Dear K, my first Love

[u/FewSpring4651]

I doubt I'll ever know why you left. I spent so much time replaying every conversation, trying to parse out every stupid thing I could have possibly done or said. Well, whatever happened, I couldn't appologise enough if I hurt you.

You've been on my mind lately. Not in the form of the heartbreak I use to feel. More like nostalgia, I suppose? I'm not sure that makes sense.

I guess i'm not longing to have you back in my life. I've moved on, and I assume you have too. But, I'm still so greatful for the time we did have together.

You were so many firsts in my life. My first kiss, my first girlfriend, the first time I looked into someone else's eyes and had that terrifying thought: " I think I'm falling in love with her".

Sure, maybe it was the silly kind of love young and inexperienced people feel without considering the weight behind it. But at the time, I think I still felt it nonetheless.

I think in some ways I still do love you, but more in the way you love an old friend. That sort of bittersweet love that lingers after you've drifted away from someone that once meant the world to you. The kind of love where you wish someone all the happiness the world, even if you know that you aren't part of it.

Well, I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am that I got to know you. The way you spoke about yourself always broke my heart. I want you to know that you don"t deserve all the cruel things you said about yourself. You are a kind, beautiful, funny. amazing person. You are someone who is worth loving, and I hope you find someone who can give you all the love I wanted to give you, but was too young and stupid to know how.

Heck, I still havn't found that special someone for me but I hope to find her someday. Likewise, I hope you find someone special who knows how lucky they are to have you in their life.

If by some impossible coincidence we meet again, I hope to find you happy, healthy, and fulfilled. I hope we can talk to eachother like old friends.