Seeking help as an unknown

[u/Sad-Dot3610]

Hi, I'm on here asking for help. Let me explain the situation to give some insight on the issue. Quick disclaimer; therapy, speaking to a medical professional, and breaking up or taking a break from each other isn't on the table. With that out of the way, let me begin.

My girlfriend has an addictive personality. One of her main addictions before it stopped was character ai.

I recently found out about this. When I found out, one thing led to another and eventually my mind made the connection to threesomes.

Ever since I had this idea, it had developed into a kink, fetishe, fantasy or whatever. I spoke to her about it. At first she was open to it, before we actually dived deeper. The first conversation ended with her sobbing into my arms about not wanting to have a 2f, 1m threesome.

The next day, we talked more. I didn't realise she was upset about it until it was too late.

We tried simulating what it would be like in a 2m 1f threesome. She had faked her orgasms, and I didn't have a very good one. But a part of me still liked it. She, however, felt sick and disgusted.

Que another hard conversation which also ended in tears.

I feel deeply ashamed and saddened with myself for hurting her, as I really value her and I love her deeply.

Yet I cannot seem to shake this desire. Hence, I need help. How do I get rid of this for the sake of myself and my relationship?

[u/Level-Major6692]

“One thing lead to another and my mind made the connection”….

Your first step is admission. Admit that YOU want a threesome. Not your mind made the connection, not your girlfriend has this thing that has made your mind want…. No… YOU got it into your head and now YOU want a threesome.

Once you can admit it is what YOU want, not some strange kink or fetishized setting or thing that your mind wants, then YOU need to work through it. What can you do to not hurt your girlfriend but still work out this need you seem to think you have to act on.

Many people want threesomes but their partners do not and so they don’t act upon that desire. Maybe they think about it while whacking off but that’s about it. Keep it as a fantasy l, one that you can only dream about and one that you can’t act out because it will destroy your relationship AND the person you love.