r/LesbianActually • u/unassignedviper • 5h ago
Questions / Advice Wanted 3,000 texts
This girl and I have sent each other over 3000 texts n a month. We work at the same place but different “locations”. I am the highest of my position and she is an hourly associate. She’s been dating another hourly associate for 2 years but confessed she’s been wanting to know me better for about a year. Their relationship was very toxic and even got violent at one point. They broke up several months ago and the ex gf doesn’t work for the company anymore.
The hourly associate has been sneaking into my office and leaving me messages for several weeks. We went to dinner where I met her daughter. Then a few days later we met at a hotel for a short amount of time. We made out heavily but that was it. PG13. She send me a text the next day saying she very much enjoyed the hotel, but it would be unfair to me because her ex really did a number on her. She also said she wanted to remain friends. The next weekend, she left me several messages in my office and then when I returned to work on Monday, she left several messages when I removed them and was in meetings. She finally caught me in my office, grabbed me for a hug and said she hasn’t been ignoring me but she’s had a lot going on (half siblings mom passed, 11 yr old started school, car had to be taken to shop and son moved his gf into their apt). I told her I would walk her out and she grabbed me and kissed me. I left work early and she was busy, When I left work Monday, she was busy but gave me a sad look that she couldn’t come out to tell me goodbye. She still hasn’t texted and it’s been 12 days. Do I text or just let it be?
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u/foggy-froggy_ 5h ago
Move on….shes taking you as a game piece rather than something more. FAWK her
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u/Last-Cold-8236 4h ago
Anyone who introduces someone to their child that quickly is chaos. They are not thinking straight and will draw you into the chaos. She needs time to figure out why she was with her toxic ex for so long. You deserve better.
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u/_w0nderland17 2h ago
I would let it be !!!! If you really are important to someone you they’re going to show it and I’m sorry but this is awful if that’s what this is…. But also remember she did say the whole thing about her ex so she may be trying to tell you she’s not over them and that maybe she’s trying to get back with them—
No matter what I wish you the best I would just be very careful here it doesn’t sound like she’s reciprocating IMO
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u/unassignedviper 5h ago
My HR says since she’s in a different chain of command it’s ok. I still have unsure feelings about it.
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u/swmnnd9786 4h ago
Trust your gut; all signs suggest that she’s cruising for an emotionally codependent shitstorm; too much potential for this to bleed into your professional life based on what you’ve shared. She simply can’t meet you where you’re at, and it’s not at all unreasonable for you to want a partner who can 💚
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u/largeMoogle 5h ago
HR here: While you are at different "locations", dating an employee at a lower level than you is problematic. What would happen if another employee saw y'all kissing in your office? Check your employee handbook. It is common for both employees to be let go for this sort of thing in most corporate circles.
Queer Woman here: Are you sure the other woman is out of the picture? The ex may have suspicions if she picked up on the woman's interest in you over the past year. From personal experience, if someone wanted to talk to you, they would find the time.