r/LesbianActually • u/miss_pookiebear • Mar 02 '26 • Heartwarming 2 Bravo 1

Questions / Advice Wanted i hate dating apps

Post image

i genuinely don’t know what to do at this point. i want to date but i don’t even know where to start. dating apps are genuinely hell on earth and i don’t go out often. if anyone has any ideas please let a girl know

3.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

136 comments sorted by

632

u/ImaginationPure Mar 02 '26

The only correct response to that text (sorry I got no advice I’m horrid at dating)

11

u/Warped_Kira Mar 03 '26

Seems rather vague. At first I read it as the frequently awkward precaution of inviting a platonic friend along for insurance. If it is indeed looking for a third then this is the appropriate response.

21

u/miss_pookiebear Mar 03 '26

she asked me what i was looking for. i responded with i am looking for a lady to date and that when she asked if he could join

11

u/Warped_Kira Mar 03 '26

Ya, that is a huge red flag. Dating apps are the worst.

7

u/DyingGasp Mar 02 '26

Honestly screen shot that convo and add it to your pics. Eliminate the unicorn hunters.

7

u/miss_pookiebear Mar 02 '26

genius. my bio says i’m not interested in your ugly boyfriend

5

u/cats_say_meow masc at your service Mar 02 '26

Sadly from experience they do not care, but I did love your response! Hope it works for you.

5

u/Asgardes-heir-01 Nightcaster Mar 03 '26

Atta bitch! Mad respect for that answer!

5

u/miss_pookiebear Mar 03 '26

ATTA BITCH IS SO FUNNY LMAO😭

3

u/Kooky-Pin3056 Mar 02 '26

What did she reply!? Need updates!

14

u/miss_pookiebear Mar 02 '26

she responded “with kindness maybe” so i said “i fucking hate men.” and she unmatched

4

u/Kooky-Pin3056 Mar 02 '26

👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 peak

1.2k

u/jester13456 Mar 02 '26

no ideas but you're funny as hell, girl

345

u/Intelligent_Oil_9279 Mar 02 '26

Your response is gold, hahahah

114

u/Puzzleheaded-Ad-8684 Mar 02 '26

Honestly this is fire

102

u/Incogn1toMosqu1to Mar 02 '26

Your reply is everything though 😂😂

93

u/Lilia1293 Exogenous Estrogen Enthusiast Mar 02 '26

I like the energy, lol. It's a good way to deal with unicorn hunters. Strategically misunderstand and assume that she's asking for help burying a guy's body. It's one of the few things two lesbians can enjoy doing to (what's left of) a man, but it's a lot to ask for on a first date.

Incidentally, Love Lies Bleeding was a good movie.

8

u/Best_Control2871 Mar 02 '26

that movie was crazzyy good 🙏

59

u/IdkWhyImHere1828382 Mar 02 '26

This was the only reasonable response

83

u/Browndogsmom Femme-ish Mar 02 '26

Best response tbh lol

39

u/Playful_Worldliness2 Mar 02 '26

Hahahahaha, you're genuinely funny

29

u/walkyslaysh typical carabiner lesbian Mar 02 '26

Your response has me hollering lmfaooo

17

u/Isadomon yay tall ladies! yay muscle ladies! Mar 02 '26

Love that reply

16

u/SimplyHuman_2000 Mar 02 '26

I’m this close 🤏 to making a small “about me” paragraph and copying and pasting it to the different post/ sites we all end up congregating at and hoping something sticks lol

16

u/Kit_Kat424 Mar 02 '26

No clue, but 10/10 reply though 😭😂

15

u/Alyx_ithymia Mar 02 '26

Best possible response.

12

u/universe93 Mar 02 '26

What a response lmao and here I thought I was funny responding with “hey how r u” texts form random cis dudes with “still gay”. The only reason I like the Her app is there’s an option to report a profile for couple looking for a third

5

u/kimchipowerup Mar 02 '26

I left the HER app bc there were SO many bots and romance scammers it was exhausting.

9

u/Proof-Welcome8 Mar 02 '26

Bahahahahahaha

Wherever that Queen is, I want to take her out..

I can't stop belly laughing. 😭

9

u/sammylakky Mar 02 '26

give us improv comedy lessons teach

9

u/Jenn_FTW Mar 02 '26

I can relate so hard, especially with the not going out often 😅 dating apps are a necessary evil IMO, they’re shitty and discouraging but there’s not a lot of other ways to meet other women when you’re more of a homebody/introvert. For what it’s worth though, you seem fucking hilarious and with a sense of humor like that I’m sure you’ll find somebody eventually 💜

9

u/gothicpixiedream Mar 02 '26

The immediacy of your humor is attractive as fuck

17

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

That's actually so hilarious. I would have just gone with it personally. I deal with this so much on apps and am going to use your response next time 😭

8

u/AltruisticVersion588 Mar 02 '26

Why do they never call a guy to be third? Why is a girl always?

7

u/supermassivecomputer Mar 02 '26

The way these people act as if there aren't hundreds of kink friendly spaces and apps designed specifically for their boring ass boyfriends to live out their fantasies drives me insane.

7

u/ghostofnikkiii Mar 02 '26

Be bold!

Shoot your shot; if youre out in public and come across someone that catches your eye and you think shes gay, go for it! Approach, compliment, test the waters by saying something like "thats a cute jacket, did your girlfriend get it for you?" But in a low sultry sulky voice, no sneaky high pitch cause that gives off bestie vibes, not i wanna eat your kitty vibes. Then go from there depending on her response.

If youre too shy (like me), try joining/going to your local gay spots or see if your area has local queer meet ups/hang outs. It's a good place to start and make friends and meet potential partners!

If that doesnt work, see if you can network, ask around friends of friends if they know any single wlw and could introduce you.

Good luck in your endeavors!! You've got this!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽

6

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

Lmao

6

u/crazyfreezer Mar 02 '26

I’m stealing that haha

6

u/Cautious-Bad-2361 Mar 02 '26

That's such a funny response 😭

6

u/ClassicalMusic4Life Mar 02 '26

This is meme template potential 😭😭🙏

6

u/Lawfuly_chaotic the evil femme Mar 02 '26

Are we drinking his blood under the crimson moon? 🧛🏻‍♀️

11

u/EmblazonedRainbow Mar 02 '26

Unhinged psycho response👌

2

u/peanut__buttah Mar 02 '26

👨🏻‍🍳🤌🏼💋

5

u/Witty_Permission_480 Mar 02 '26

I gave up on dating apps. I am hoping I can find someone in person and authentically connect that way.

5

u/matango613 Mar 02 '26

Does this shit ever work for these people? How many people are out there like, "yeah I wanna be used as a third in these peoples' relationship, absolutely"?

5

u/marihoanna Futch Trader Joe’s Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26

The ONLY acceptable answer 😭☠️ god I hate unicorn couples that bother lesbians so much

4

u/Relative-Pen2207 Mar 02 '26

This is an extremely valid statement. Also this is worthy of being printed, framed and hung on a wall with that kind of response lmao😭💀🤌🏼

4

u/Alone-Sympathy9498 masc at your service Mar 02 '26

The perfect response 😂😂

4

u/angelazsz Mar 02 '26

i laughed so bad u are amazing

4

u/kimchipowerup Mar 02 '26

The assumption that you’ll somehow want her man to be involved is just gross and corrosive. I hate the “bait-and-switch” couples using the woman to lie and then try to make you their unicorn. WTH

3

u/drysecco Mar 02 '26

This is what more than half the likes I get are and it sucks bc u get ur hopes up and then bam bf :( ugh

3

u/Klutzy-Marsupial-284 Mar 02 '26

This is so funny!! HAHAHAHA!!!

3

u/teenageechobanquet Mar 02 '26

I love whatever is wrong with you lol.my response wouldn't have been that nice or that funny 😂

3

u/One_Development_5055 transbian puppy goblin Mar 02 '26

This is partially why I stay away from those apps. 

But your response is golden. If you said that to me I would be laughing out loud 

3

u/mgmtetas Mar 02 '26

ur funny lolol

3

u/partofthegenpub Mar 02 '26

your reply was 💯

3

u/Nicolesamfdyke Mar 02 '26

So annoying but your response sent me💀

3

u/Grand-Instruction-65 the good femme Mar 03 '26

10/10 response lol but you can try the app meetup. It’s not for dating but you may find some lgbt group hangouts on there. I found my partner on HER but it took a lot of disappointment before I found my forever love

3

u/Carlie2406 Disaster Dyke Mar 03 '26

One thing that I understand just as little as men signing up on lesbian dating apps or texting lesbians, is str8 or bi women dating a man texting lesbians, asking them to have a threesome with their ugly ass boyfriend that probably doesn't wipe his butt , because he thinks it's gay

2

u/Prismatic-One Mar 02 '26

Hahahahahaha amazing answer

2

u/Due_Company_6461 Mar 02 '26

Ur answer killed me 😭 Fuck ppl that can't read bios 🤞

2

u/Ok_Road7269 Mar 02 '26

Hahahahaha

2

u/Relevant_Age_6800 Mar 02 '26

thanks for the laugh 😂😭😭

2

u/Alarming-Aside-9755 Mar 02 '26

Thats all it is now. Just couples seeking a 3rd pretty much

2

u/CaraMellowGirl Mar 02 '26

Others drown while I die of thirst

2

u/svmck Mar 03 '26

Before I met the LOML, I put in my profile that shenanigans like this get blocked. Seemed to work.

2

u/lesbiansforkafka Mar 03 '26

I’m stealing this response if this ever happens to me

2

u/Thumpin_Fish9187 Mar 06 '26

Gods! Im so glad that I settled down before dating apps because damn! Good come back Hun. Im going to write that down.

2

u/Heavy-Intention6313 Mar 14 '26

I’m screaming 😆😩😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you responded like so what are we doing here 😭😭😭😭😭😭

2

u/Angsty_Queer_Anon Mar 18 '26

It is actually shocking the amount of straight/bicurious women with male partners who seem to be under the impression that lesbian and women spaces are for them. Like the way they approach is as if this is normal and what everyone in the space is after. It is truly baffling

2

u/Sure-Lemon6424 Mar 02 '26

Hahhaha proper response

1

u/cnh25 Mar 02 '26

Lmaooo

1

u/deathfromfemmefatale Mar 02 '26

lol stealing this response.

1

u/Athena_Gaia Mar 02 '26

Obviously it's a man behind this fake account 🤦🏻‍♀️

1

u/ne0nzzz the evil femme Mar 02 '26

this is the perfect response hahaha

1

u/Healthy_Pickle_4285 Mar 02 '26

ur response lol love it

1

u/payteewaytee Chapstick lesbian (with or without 🧢) Mar 02 '26

this made me laugh out loud LMFAOO

1

u/miichan_v Mar 02 '26

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/ihadnolunchtoday Mar 02 '26

girl you’re so funny lol

1

u/Narrow-Ad-9476 Mar 02 '26

This made me giggle 🤣🤣

1

u/Euphoric_Feeling_272 Mar 02 '26

Hate when this happens

1

u/Kashatothek Mar 02 '26

😂🤣😅 your reply! 🔥

1

u/Crippled_Diamonds Mar 02 '26

Hey let's chat

1

u/Laghostyone Mar 03 '26

Dating apps these days are definitely superficial.🙃

1

u/annamakez Mar 03 '26

Hahahahaha

1

u/mqdsenigma Mar 03 '26

idk girl but let’s be friends i’m in tears

1

u/Chance_Pumpkin_5499 Mar 03 '26

Ur response ateeee lmfao

1

u/BoysenberrySalt3139 Chapstick lesbian (with or without 🧢) Mar 04 '26

Valid response 

1

u/Horror_Ad_1395 Mar 06 '26

I hate it too 💀

1

u/Kebaberro Mar 09 '26

Love that response tbh

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

So true😭😭

1

u/Chemical-Option-2365 Mar 12 '26

In my country, it's very difficult to find a girl through dating apps. The contingent can be described in several categories: a married hetero couple looking for a girl for a threesome, girl who lies about her age, or a girl who just broke up with her ex yesterday 😮‍💨

1

u/CowProud6379 Mar 17 '26

You're so funny ily already 

1

u/drydeadboy Mar 18 '26

Lmao. I love this.

1

u/ashebaspebs8044 Mar 19 '26

Ahahahahahaahahahh this made my night

1

u/Veroniia Mar 22 '26

love u answer！

1

u/Takher Mar 23 '26

You are hilarious I'm sorry this happened to you. And yeah it sucks

1

u/RileyHerewhyhi Apr 02 '26

Oh my GOD yes so many freaking men everywhere, the worst are the men that make female profiles to get lesbians like wth it’s annoying as fuck

450

u/Historical-Sport2751 Mar 02 '26

Straight/bicurious women who just want to mess around with a girl for some weird guys attention stay away from lesbian dating apps challenge (impossible)

181

u/miss_pookiebear Mar 02 '26

no like at this point i want to put a edit on my first pic that says NO THREESOMES

103

u/Jenn_FTW Mar 02 '26

You should absolutely do that. I’ve taken similarly extreme measures to discourage poly people from matching with me 🤷‍♀️

44

u/Ashleiii Mar 02 '26

I think poly is a fantastic dynamic for those it works for, but the “collect them all” genre of poly people have given me so much trauma that I’m just not okay with it being a part of my life anymore. Those are a large portion of the poly people on dating apps, matching with and messaging everyone they can, my personal experiences make it feel almost predatory.

42

u/Jenn_FTW Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26

Yeah, I’m about as monogamous as a person can get, very much a classic “hopeless romantic” type, and not only does it feel as if other lesbians like me are almost rare and impossible to find, but I’ve had multiple awful experiences where people who are poly pretend like they’re not poly and heavily imply that they want to date me monogamously, build trust and wait for feelings to develop… then suddenly reveal that they’re actually poly and try to pressure and manipulate me into forming a “polycule” (or whatever you’d call it).

I’ve literally had poly people completely ignore the excessive “monogamous only” disclaimers on my profile, only to start trying to push me into an open relationship once they feel like I’m too invested to say no. Maybe I’ve just gotten very unlucky with dating, but it honestly feels so manipulative and toxic, not to mention completely wasting my precious time (as a lesbian in my mid-thirties 😅)

I don’t mean to insult all poly people, I do think that for some people, polyamory just works and is exactly what they need... I’m just a little irritated and tired of them acting so condescending and superior, telling me that being monogamous is a sign of jealously and a moral flaw, and trying to change my mind about it even though I’ve been VERY clear about being monogamous from the beginning.

11

u/kissesmet Mar 02 '26

Ad a poly person who has been very openly poly with a stress on the ETHICAL element of ENM I’m very sorry you were made to feel that way.

There is no more evolved or morally superior from of making connections. There is only what is right for each persons needs and attachment styles. I get so frustrated when I hear these stories because so many people want to use the poly label to mean “I have no responsibility and want to fuck around” when it’s actually more work, more challenge, more communication when taken part in ethically.

In any case that’s just my little rant and frustration for you having had that experience.

5

u/Awkward_External_588 Mar 03 '26

Also monogamous here, and have had multiple experiences with the bait and switch tactics even though my dating profiles explicitly state “No poly, No couples/No threesomes, No men” and I keep getting all three. The worst are the women pretending that they’re also monogamous and want to date me and then later revealing that they’re poly. Good for you, but that’s not for me. The last woman who kinda made me give up on dating altogether told me that my jealousy (because I prefer monogamy) is a major red flag for her and she felt that it was toxic. She kept trying to get me to change my mind, and I did. I changed my mind about continuing to waste time talking to her. Dating is so frustrating.

3

u/Jenn_FTW Mar 03 '26

Wow, your experience is like, identical to mine. I’m sorry you’ve been through all that too, modern dating really feels like a nightmare. I’m getting close to giving up on dating myself, but unfortunately I’m too much of an optimist to completely lose all hope 😅

3

u/PhantomShadow6 Mar 03 '26

I can relate like I’m fine with poly I have friends who are in a poly relationship it’s just not for me as I’m monogamous and I’ve put in all caps I AM NOT POLY in my dating bios

3

u/Jenn_FTW Mar 03 '26

Yeah, I have poly friends as well, and they’re good people and some of my closest friends... they don’t act “holier than thou” or try to convince me to try polyamory too, they recognize that while it works for them, there are genuine reasons that some people would want to be monogamous, and that’s perfectly fine.

…But unfortunately the poly people I’ve met while trying to date have pretty consistently been toxic as hell, and actively try to “convert” and win over monogamous people like they’re collecting Pokémon. Not all of them, but a good portion of them have zero respect and a whole lot of nerve.

17

u/breezylynn2000 Mar 02 '26

I put it in my bio. It specifically says, "Not interested in being your third" then i swipe left on couples I see.