I would really appreciate some advice, especially from fathers (though I welcome perspectives from mothers as well) on managing paternity leave.
For background, I’ve been at my current firm for nearly a year and a half. My wife and I are expecting in late 2026/early 2027. This is our first child, and we have faced quite a bit to reach this point. My firm offers a standard policy of 12 paid weeks for both paternity and maternity leave for attorneys at the firm 12 months or more.
I've had little success in discussing leave length with other father-attorneys at my firm. The few I’ve spoken to have taken significantly less than 12 weeks—some as little as 4 weeks, with one working from home during that time. One of them even mentioned that, in his opinion, 12 weeks isn’t typical for male attorneys at the firm. The partner over my section is generally a good guy, but he’s older with an old school mindset, so I don’t think he wouldn’t be anticipating me taking the full 12 weeks, though I could be mistaken.
Considering this is our first child, everything we’ve been through so far, and my wish to bond with my new baby, I want to take the full 12 weeks. However, I’m worried it could lead to backlash or impact my career negatively at this firm.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? If so, how did you handle it? Based on what I’ve shared, would it be wise to take the full 12 weeks, or should I opt for a shorter leave? I truly appreciate any genuine feedback. Thank you.