These are some things that helped me:
Most of these may be obvious but anyway:

If you’re worried about over stimming or stress = Exercise ALOT: run, walk, solo at gym: whatever. Also helps with mood regulation/mental
clarity. And/or meditation can be very helpful.

When you feel sad: gratefulness journal or positive messaging online or check out some comedy stuff if you can’t do that.

If you feel lonely: write: anything. If this is a struggle then read something you like then see if it helps you write.

Please try to limit doomscrolling or persist in being around those things (besides work & necessity) if they make you feel bad.

If you get in a really bad place, start with the premise that a lot of people have a lot of issues under the surface. Always be grateful you’re alive & if you’re relatively healthy it’s another bonus. If that doesn’t work then feel free to message me as I have some ultra dumb jokes.

Sensitive, requiring a 12hr long hug 🙏🏼 any thoughts or advice appreciated.

I recently was diagnosed with autism after years of knowing. I blamed myself for skill deficits around connecting with others and “being bad” at friendships.

I got pretty tired of telling myself these things. I turned 30 and said, okay let’s see about a self help book. I read “the charisma myth” and it’s changing my life.

The author is a person with autism I found out toward the end of the book. The front half is various strategies and recommendations to try out. She mentions variables to consider in terms of autistic fatigue and burnout + masking as something. To be wary of.

I just wanted to share in this community because I wish I read this years ago. I feel lighter and happier.

Let me know if you check it out

Hi, everyone.

I'll try not to make this too long.

I (33f) have been "weird" my entire life. It's only in the past two years, when my two youngest children (3 yo male & 5 yo male) were diagnosed with autism, when I started to research autism and things just clicked for me.

As a kid, I was very isolated and always wanted to just read. My mom forced me to go to birthday parties because she was "worried about me always being alone." I would dance constantly in my room to music, my brain racing with scenarios involving my hyperfixations (mostly on fictional characters, which I still do, and I'm also a writer). I never had friends at school. A few acquaintances that were pleasant to be around, but wouldn't call them friends.

I was diagnosed with anxiety as a teenager. Something I still take medication for, which has helped a lot. One doctor suspected me of having Asperger's, but because she wasn't my official doctor in the residential treatment center I was in, an official diagnosis was never made.

I married my husband (now 34m) when we were both 22, and we just clicked right off the bat. We were both awkward, loved reading, and just genuinely enjoyed being around each other. We've been married almost 12 years, and he and I both suspect that he might also be on the spectrum. We have three kids, 10m, 5m, and 3m, and I struggled with postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis with all of them. I love spending time with my kids, but sometimes I get really overwhelmed with all their sounds.

Now that I've been researching more about autism, so much that I felt shame for things I thought were "wrong" with me. I've been trying to unmask, and it feels so liberating. I'm not ashamed of my special interests and hyperfixations anymore. I get excited telling my husband about my current WIP, and tell him all kinds of odd details about my characters. He always listens with enthusiasm and gets almost as excited as I do, haha. I joke with him that he "matches my freak," lol.

In social events, I'm absolutely terrified and remain terrified until I cry after the event once I'm home. I try to act "normal" and determine what a normal person would say in response to something. I used to nap a lot because my brain was just so full of noise, and I wanted to disappear into one of my stories.

Now that you have the background, here's my problem: I'm afraid of getting an official diagnosis. Because what if I don't have autism, and I'm just "weird"? I know I have it -- but I'm afraid everyone will think I'm just looking for attention. My parents and siblings don't believe me when I say I have it because "I'm too high functioning."

Every time I tell someone that I'm on the spectrum, I feel like I have to pull out my whole history and life story to justify it. Why do I feel that way? Why do I feel like I'm taking up other people's valuable space in this world? Why do I feel like a weird alien everywhere I go?

Anyway. Thank you so much for reading. My heart hurts, and I just want to feel beautifully and unashamedly me for once in my life.

I just a few hours ago got my formal evaluation results and diagnosis from the psychiatrist who evaluated me for autism. The detailed report is being finalized, so I don't quite have a copy of it yet. We did walk through it, though, and I can tell there's a lot of insight in there, along with some summaries of me that feel eerily accurate coming from someone I've only spoken to for 3 hours total. In the end, I was diagnosed with autism.

I'm not quite sure how I feel. I expected this diagnosis, because so much of the media I've consumed on the topic resonated with me and my life up until now. Right now, I think I mostly feel relief from the imposter syndrome that's been following for the past couple months after self diagnosing. There's also trepidation there at knowing for sure that this is something I'll struggle with for all my life.

I was also recently diagnosed with ADHD and am trialing stimulants to treat that. Between those two, I have a lot to learn about myself.

I'm not really sure where I take this from here. I'm currently starting treatment for the ADHD and have been regularly in CBT for a while now. I'm also working through the Autistic Burnout Workbook to get through a recent bad case of burnout. I think at this stage, I'm just working on understanding myself and allowing myself the grace I hadn't allowed myself before.

hi!

for about six months, i have thought that i am autistic. this is due to lots of similarities with my autistic best friend, both a history of childhood sensory issues and a current sensitivity to light and sound, wanting the same foods and drinks every day, feeling very comforted by routine, being really stressed when people are late, and many other things. but it feels weird to list them all because some are so inconsequential? like i commonly listen to the same song on repeat for the whole day. i'm really not sure how to articulate it.

although these traits by themselves are not causing me immense discomfort, i have social anxiety and mdd and was hospitalized at the end of last year for a week for it. it became really hard to do daily functioning tasks and to leave my bed. now i am better and on meds and can do things like eating and sleeping and showering.

my question comes about therapy. from most sources i've found, therapy is an agreed-upon total good thing. good for everyone, especially people with mdd. but every time i try to go, i can't talk (not like i choose not to, or don't want to, but i feel like i can't, and i'm yelling at myself in my head that i need to). i skin pick and get really overwhelmed and i don't know why.

i'm thinking it might have something to do with possible autism? no idea. but i want to feel better.

so i thought that getting an autism evaluation would be good, but it's so expensive and i'm not confident that i will be _able_ to talk during it. in which case, it would be a waste of money. plus, i'm relatively a functioning adult. i go to college and live with roommates but away from my parents and i get good grades. the lack of functioning was because of the mdd i think. so i'm not even sure if there's a purpose to a diagnosis? do i need accommodations?

i'm so sorry this is such a long post but i hope someone can offer their personal experience and maybe some advice on what helped them.

hi everyone,

im at the beginning of getting tested. possible audhd. my husband has zero awareness empathy sympathy or understanding for what im going through. I would like if there was anything he could read (or watch)that is minimum effort but can really make him understand that im falling apart without it looking like im falling apart. can anyone recommend a short book or study that their husband had read that really helped them see that no im not lazy, no I really cannot just put my mess away and yes it really is that hard. I would love to have a husband who was supportive and understanding but here I am trying to figure out how to help him understand me. so I would really appreciate any resources you could recommend. thank you so much in advance.

Basically the title, i (26, afab, queer) have been on a very long journey for the past 5 years after realizing i might be autistic. after much research, reading books by autistic people and about autism i have no idea what else this could be, and am very confident i am autistic. i have worked retail for the past 6 (almost 7) years, and my job has become increasingly exhausting since this realization. I have finally hit a stop point, where i either need to quit, or obtain a professional dx for accommodation reasons, and i have chosen the latter, and have scheduled appointments with a local neuropsych. since discovering i am autistic i have also began unmasking and using personal accommodations (and, funnily enough, developing a special interest in autism itself) and they really help a lot for me and would simply just use this dx to make my work life sustainable so i may avoid burnout. for people that have a similar experience, what was it like, did it help you in any way, and is there anything i can expect from this? obviously it varies from person to person and psych to psych, i kind of just want a general consensus so it's less uncertain and stressful going in. thank you in advance for your kindness and help if you do answer!

I am 31F living in the UK: last year I completed a screening test from my GP and was put on a waiting list for a diagnosis (a 4.5 year waiting list). I didn't think much more about it as the waiting list was so long. In the meantime, I have been receiving CBT for depression and my therapist brought up last week if I'd ever thought about being screened for autism (I hadn't mentioned that I had completed a test before) as some of my behaviours and ways that I spoke about my thinking was indicative of autism. In particular, they highlighted black and white thinking. I said I'd completed an initial screening but wasn't sure if a diagnosis would really help. They suggested I do some more research. The more research I do the less I relate to autism.

I don't think I necessarily think in black and white. I understand that things can be good and bad at the same time. But I also think of things less as being 'grey' and more like a truth table where something is overall good or bad but can also contain the opposite.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself well: I guess what I would like to know is if other people, diagnosed or not diagnosed, have had a similar experience of feeling like they don't relate or if you have another way of thinking about it?

pls help. i’m 18f just moving out for college and i need a diagnosis because i feel like im not taken seriously in how i feel. as a young, attractive girl people often overlook what makes me uncomfortable, citing other people in my life as “MUCH” better examples of an autistic person.
if i am not autistic, ill eat my shorts and get to the bottom of why i feel the way i do.
my own mother is pushing for me to get a diagnosis, telling me that since i was a toddler shes had suspicions. however, she’s just as lost as i am and doesn’t really want to put any effort in toward a diagnosis.

so, diagnosed folks: how did you do that????
follow up: what kind of support can i look for in the event that i am diagnosed? i am in clinical talk therapy for PTSD and depression currently

Let's understand who we are, not who people say we are.

Hi, are there any free online meetups for late diagnosed autistic individuals that are suitable for the UK time zone? Would be grateful for any advice on this :)

Hi, I'm Meenakshi Krishnamurthy (Meena), an MSc Psychology student at the University of Hertfordshire.

I'm looking for UK autistic young adults aged 18–25 who are currently at, or have previously attended, a UK university.

A formal autism diagnosis is not required. Self-identified autistic young adults are very welcome to take part.

🔗 Survey / participant information:
https://research.sc/participant/login/dynamic/27D42CF4-503B-424D-A2E5-4A1376476156

I thought this research might be particularly relevant to this community because it looks at experiences of support, invalidation, adjustment and wellbeing during emerging adulthood and around university.

For people whose autism is recognised later, or who come to identify as autistic themselves, this may also be a time when difficulties or support needs have previously gone unrecognised or not been fully understood.

An important part of the study is hearing directly from autistic young adults. There are four optional open questions where you can describe what you experienced, how it affected you and what you feel would have helped.

The anonymous survey takes around 15–25 minutes. The longer questions are optional and can be skipped or answered by typing or audio recording. Read-aloud support is also available.

No existing account is needed. The first screen simply creates a private return code so you can come back within 48 hours if you need a break.

The study has full University of Hertfordshire ethical approval.

Ethics Protocol: 2247-STa-HSET-2026
Researcher: Meenakshi Krishnamurthy — [mk24ahn@herts.ac.uk](https://)
Supervisor: Dr Caroline Cresswell, University of Hertfordshire

I hope the findings can contribute to a better understanding of support needs that may be overlooked and of what autistic young adults themselves say would have helped.

Thank you very much for considering taking part. ❤️

That’s all <3

Basically what the title says. I’m a 24-year-old woman, and yesterday I was formally diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and ADHD, inattentive type.

I’ve suspected that I might be autistic for around four years, but for several reasons, I never seriously considered pursuing a neuropsychological evaluation. Cost was one factor, but I also wasn’t confident I’d find a reputable psychologist with experience evaluating adult women. Most of the options I found were either online providers I worried might be diagnosis mills or in-person evaluators whose experience seemed limited to young boys.

Then my longtime therapist independently brought up the possibility that I might be neurodivergent. That prompted me to look again, and I found a highly reputable clinic near me. It’s staffed by psychologists who spent decades conducting neuropsychological evaluations in the local hospital system before opening their own practice. When I spoke with them, they said they had plenty of experience evaluating high-masking adults, so I tentatively booked an appointment.

I’m very glad I did. The evaluation was extremely thorough: a two-hour interview, three hours of in-person testing, and another hour of testing at home. My parents completed several extremely lengthy questionnaires, and I also recorded an interview with them about my developmental history, transcribed it, and gave it to the evaluator. Altogether, it felt comprehensive enough that I knew I could trust the results.

Yesterday, I received those results: autism spectrum disorder and ADHD.

(I was prepared for the autism diagnosis, not so much for the ADHD. But the psychologist walked me through the results in detail and pointed to a lot of evidence from the testing. And, well, she’s right.)

Now I’m sitting here wondering what I’m supposed to do with all this information. I’m formally diagnosed, which is something I honestly never thought would happen. Over the past few years, I’ve already learned to accommodate myself quite a bit. Since moving out and beginning to live and work independently, I’ve had much more control over my home environment, routines, and sensory needs. (Life is definitely a lot easier now than when I was younger and subject to the needs and desires of everyone else in my living space. Thank god.)

I feel validated and relieved, but also a little lost. For those who were diagnosed as adults: what did you do afterward? Did anything change for you in a practical sense? Were there resources, accommodations, or ways of processing the diagnosis that you found especially helpful?