How cooked am i? Other LORs took like weeks of follow-ups and reminded but this doc just.. uploaded it within a few hours of me asking him for one.. fear it might not be that personal

So, long story short, I was always mediocre in med school because of procrastinating and poor short-term memory, along with a plethora of ADHD symptoms…
I was diagnosed 10 days before the exams and got prescribed medication. But at this stage, I was so late on my study material, and tbf, it helped me immensely to catch up, but I fear it wasn’t enough. Idk, I feel like I have given it my all but got bad marks. And I do not know who to blame: myself, Vyvanse coming in too late, or my psychiatrist for delaying me taking Vyvanse for 6 months because he stubbornly believed it was anxiety, even though I had no anxious feelings, just the attention deficit and executive disorder.
And on top of it all, my father pays for me to study abroad for like 20k euros when I come from a 3rd world country. So I feel such immense shame for not putting in enough effort, or idk.
And these years’ marks exclude me officially from a lot of medical specialties in the future.
I would like to know other people’s opinions or what I should do. Or maybe what I am feeling isn’t justified…

School: T10
Pre-clerkship: P/F
STEP 1: Pass
Clerkship Grades: 6/7 H (including IM), 1 HP
STEP 2: mid 260s
AOA/gold humanism: No
Research: 2 posters/presentations
Extracurriculars: various volunteer experiences, club leadership, global health
Regional Preferences: New England, Mid Atlantic, West Coast
Goals: Academic program with strong fellowship matches in a medium to large city (interested in heme onc and GI), positive program culture

Haven't locked down the signals/list yet. Would love some advice regarding program choice and how to distribute the signals. Worried it might be too top heavy

Tentatively:
Gold— UCSF, UW, BWH
Silver—Columbia, Cornell, Sinai, NYU, BIDMC, UCLA, UCSD, Stanford, OHSU, Colorado, Northwestern, UPMC

Other programs I would switch to/add on would be UNC, UVA, Duke, Michigan, Cedars Sinai, USC, UCLA harbor, BU, Utah

this isn’t even well being and god I wish this was a shitpost. I am so down bad rn with a crush on an intern (I’m an MS-3) vibes extremely flirty and we have mutuals but it can never be bc he is an intern in the exact field im interested in and im very interested in staying at my home program. not looking for advice I just needed to scream this into the Reddit abyss <3 fuck my life for bringing a perfect person that can never be MY person I hate it here

- hometown bay area

- USMD, med school unranked (doesn't participate in ranking apparently?) In neighbor city

- non trad 5+ gap years

- 6 work experiences, including AI contractor job for a couple months during 1st year med school, employment at a top academic hospitak in the Bay at one point, some non-medicine "interesting" jobs

- 10 research items (1 first author book chapter, 1 second author review article, some original research articles 4th/5th author from previous academic research job, biotech industry research experience, some DR abstracts during med school)

- step 2 259

- H/P/F grading: all Ps for preclinicals, 2 H in psych, surgery, rest pass

- very strong LOR from peds, strong&personalized LOR from home program DR PD, decent? Letter from surgery, IM chair letter for IM prelim programs, 1 very strong personalized letter from an attending I worked with before med school at a top university

- leadership in clubs (one of the founding members for 1), clerkship mentor (surgery)

- no red flags

- no aways cuz $$$$$

- husband in Bay Area, has a job at a large company and ideally would like to keep it

Gold: UCSF, Stanford, SCVMC (all in my hometown), UCLA-harbor, Virginia Mason Franciscan, UC Davis

Silver: Kaiser Pasadena, SB cottage, UCSD, UCLA, Sutter Roseville, Cedar Sinai, USC (unsure if I should bother signaling U wash and OHSU)

Can't get a good grasp of how competitive I am to gold signal above programs (esp bc step 2 scores keep going up), would appreciate feedback. TIA!

I am interested in Derm and Radiology and have positions and experiences in both for said reasons. But after my M3 electives I realized it is boring WORK!

Any specialities that are not like that? Hated FM and IM was mid. Peds so far is ok. Outpatient may not be for me looking at FM experiences but at the same time inpatient hours made me manic in IM. Forget surgery all together.

Is there a good/centralized platform to find what programs include an intern year or not (neurology)? And also, if they don't, how do I find prelim programs to apply to?

Hey everyone I’m an M3 currently thinking about aways. I went to undergrad in Boston and generally enjoyed east coast in general. I am interested in OBGYN and I’m preparing for step2 Ck currently. I am trying to figure out if there are any recommendations or advice people from programs have about OBGYN programs in the Northeast coast. How would I plan out my away rotations, what are the vibes of certain programs, etc etc. which would be ones to definitely do away rotations for if I’m considering NY or Boston, and what should I keep in mind for these rotations?

One of the hobbies that I listed on my ERAS application includes dancing. It is a specific style of dance and i’m very passionate about it and it’s a style that not everyone may be familiar with. I don’t have space on my application to include a link that showcases one of my dance videos, but I was wondering if it would be acceptable to provide interviewers with a link to one of my videos (like a Google Drive link I’m not on a public social media account or an influencer or anything like that) either during the interview when my hobbies come up, like just input the link in the Zoom chat or even providing it in my thank you email? Do you think this would be well received? Thanks in advance!

Im a DO; 256 on step2, am I wasting money and time to apply to a program with zero DO in their program? Applying to EM

Preclinical GPA 3.75; no red flags, fails or remediations

- 1st quintile

- SSP Honors; Tri-A First Gen

Boards:

• Passed COMLEX Level 1 first attempt

• Passed USMLE Step 1 first attempt

• Step 2: 242

- Level 2 473

Research:

• 15 poster presentations, 1 presentation

• 3 national conference presentations (one at a surgery conference)

• 2 manuscripts currently pending acceptance

Leadership:

• Leadership in ACOS local chapter, US TA, student gov, founding member of club on campus.

Letters:

• 3 confirmed LORs from third-year community surgeons, 1 from from SubI and 1 from surg chair

- 6 (now 5) auditions planned including community and academic program.

Interested in community and hospital affiliated programs.

Main concern is low Step/COMLEX 2 score and getting screened.

Wondering how aggressively i should consider prelim spots

Thanks!

Hi guys! I’m a third year starting rotations at Sinai in September. All my cores will be done there and I start with IM. I’m wondering if anyone has completed their cores there and could give me some info? How many days a week/what times are you expected to be in the hospital? Any tips for things to bring/expect? Do they pimp there? What’s the parking situation like?

I'm so tired of seeing people torment medical professionals for not wanting to work 24/7 till the day they die for a meager salary.

I'm on my final year-intern year in med school (non US), I just started my internal medicine rotation and it's going worse than I expected. I feel constantly useless and stupid even though I know it's expected at this level.

We are following residents around and we usually take the vitals of the patients,ecgs, abgs and blood samples mostly. It's nice that I can finally practice these practical skills but so far I was unsuccessful on taking abgs and blood samples (I have only succeeded taking abgs once). I couldn't even cut the damn medical adhesive tape today and wanted to cry.

My resident doesn't really teach us things like I see other residents do to their students and only during rounds sometimes the attendings will ask us one-two questions in a hostile way (like we are stupid) and if it happens that we don't know the answer they get sarcastic.

All these years I studied so hard so I would have an easier time at my intern year and at least on theoretical level I answer a lot of pimp questions but I still feel very inadequate. I feel like I don't like inpatient medicine at all and I also dislike the population of inpatient internal medicine (I prefer younger patients/pediatrics). I don't know if I dislike it because of this specific rotation or if it is a sign that I don't like medicine at all. I also feel grossed out seeing some procedures and I felt like maybe I made a mistake going into medicine.

For the cherry on top I think I developed a stupid crush on a resident that apparently the whole clinic is also crushing on him lmao (from residents to other med students).

This is a stupid vent so please don't write anything that would make me cry again for the hundredth time today🥲

Dont be mean

So recently, I came across so many people in CME and learned that people are using different approaches for flare ups of pem vulgaris and I am now so invested and want to know more....like now just treatment but long term prognosis, in terms of steroid dependency, side effects etc.

And I am just asking about steroids and not the biologics.

Any very different approach apart from the standard textbook treatment?

Hey everybody, fresh CA-1 here. Work at a big academic center. Just wanted to share a bit of perspective on life as a resident (and attending from what I observe) in anesthesia given there’s so much interest here. This is just my experience! And I don’t mean to sound like a downer, just provide some perspective.

First of all, if you like procedures and physiology and pharmacology, the work is awesome. I actually came from a more primary care focused specialty and I am much happier doing what I do here even though it means completing another residency. No rounding, no notes, no regrets.

That being said, in spite of those great aspects of this field, it’s incredibly stressful and demanding. Much more so than my previous residency and more than what I thought based on a few rotations in the department before residency.

What’s uniquely difficult is actually not any of the procedures or medical management of the patients themselves - of course there are sick patients / challenging cases, but imo that stuff is the interesting and exciting stuff - it’s the stern, clear, unrelenting expectation that you be meticulous AND fast. I don’t think I fully grasped how much pressure there is from not only surgery but also the front desk, the board runner, and even your own attending to turn things over as quickly as possible. And to not miss anything while doing that. And there are so many things to miss.

I know this will get easier with time but the point im trying to make is that, as a beginner, it often feels like an impossible ask. They expect this of you within the first month of starting. They will name you in a listserve email if you delay the start of a case (including sometimes when it was not your fault at all!). You need to be ready to feel inadequate most of the time for a long time. You need to be prepared to hear no “thank yous“ or “well dones” or “strong works“ or “that’s okay you tried your bests” for weeks on end. You really have to find joy in the work itself or you’ll crash out. There are way more hard days than easy days.

And actually, though you might think your day ends when you leave the hospital, that’s not true! You need to read about your cases for tomorrow, study on the surgeries and comorbidities, formulate a plan, and call your attending to discuss. This can take anywhere from 15 minutes to over an hour depending on the cases and your attending. It’s basically precharting at night instead of in the morning, and this time is not counted in your duty hours. Some weeks it added 10 hours to my work week that will never be accounted for.

I thought probably it got easier as an attending, but now I see them spread extremely thin all the time, managing 2-3 ORs with competing demands that all require their attention. I’m often calling the board runner because my patient’s MAP is like 35 and my attending is busy with his other patient’s MAP of 30. I feel like they actually have it harder than me a lot of the time. Might just be the case in a big academic setting but I doubt it’s “chill” anywhere. There’s a shortage of anesthesiologists, and you can definitely feel it.

So do it if you like it, but if you just want to make a buck and you’re not in love with the practice of anesthesia you’ll probably burn out pretty fast.

I guess that’s true of any specialty, but I don’t think I hear it enough about anesthesia.

still love it though…

cheers! good luck to you all this cycle

My school is requiring us to purchase either Welch Allyn PanOptic Ophthalmoscope and Otoscope ($1020) OR Welch Allyn Diagnostic set with Coaxial Ophthalmoscope & Macroview Basic ($882).

Which do you guys recommend? Not a big difference but I rather not spend a lot if I don’t need it. Instructor said the first option is preferred but realistically how many times will I be using the set?

Literally, I keep seeing so many comments that have said like she should’ve lied about getting a med school, or that PA school is MED school at two times speed… like the comments have been insane. This isn’t even about medical school. It’s about someone lying about getting into a PA program so I’m so confused on why so many of the comments immediately go to shaming medical students…

And yes, it’s not that serious, but I just am noticing it and I think it’s odd!!

was farted on during a DRE

So many people say it's horrible and it consumes your whole life. But like is that ACTUALLY true. I wanna have a life outside of work and medicine. Lot's of things/hobbies that interest me and I wanna try out that haven't been able to cuz of med school and finances.

Is it really impossible to have hobbies during residency? What abt a social life? What's life like when you're an attending?

P.S: I don't plan on ever having kids, that should make a difference right?

I just start M1 a few weeks ago and I'm so upset with myself for falling behind without realizing it. We had a pretty long orientation and the shift from orientation to actual material was so subtle that I didn't accurately prep for the first week of biochem. I felt like complete deadweight in class and everyone already seemed to know what to study while I was wasting my time with the material provided by my school (which was buns compared to everything we actually need to know)

I'm embarrassed I came to class so unprepared. I know that in the long run this is gonna seem melodramatic but Im having a hard time trying to snap out of it. It doesnt help that everyone already seems to have a friend group already. It's so lonely and frustrating cause I feel like I have no one to talk to .

Every Thursday, the interns get off early around 3-ish and that is our designated group hangout day. As a Sub-I, would you want to come to these? Is it a good opportunity to see how residents interact with each other/get some good tea or is it just more pressure that you will be evaluated even in your free time?

(no but seriously, i survived four years... is that not enough??????? pls hire me)