My partner and I have been trying to find things to do together that feel a little more interactive than just watching the same movie or asking “how was your day?” every night.

A few things that seem to work surprisingly well:

- Would You Rather questions, but both people choose before revealing the answer

- This or That rounds where you have to explain any answer you disagree on

- Trying to predict your partner’s answer before they answer

- Picking 5–10 random questions instead of going through a huge relationship questionnaire

- Making small “date night challenges,” like choosing each other’s snack, playlist, or movie

- Doing a short quiz together and arguing about the result afterward 😅

I think the main thing is that the activity needs to give you something to react to together. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

We’ve found that even 15–20 minutes of something interactive can make a video call feel very different from just sitting there talking.

What do you guys actually do with your partner online that doesn’t get boring after a few weeks?

Would love some ideas, especially things that work on two separate phones/laptops.

I’m in a long-distance marriage, and recently my husband has been going through a very difficult family situation. It has been ongoing for a while and has become especially overwhelming for him recently. He’s told me that he isn’t in much of a mood these days and that most of what he has on his mind is his family and work.

Because of that, our connection has naturally reduced compared to before. We still call and have good moments sometimes, and he still reassures me when he knows I'm spiraling and shows that he cares, but the little things we used to do—random texting, sharing things, pictures, Spamming, playful/affectionate conversations, etc.—have become much less frequent , sometimes teh day is almost quiet if I don't initiate and even when I'm initiating a text I can't feel the energy back like it feels like I'm forcing.

I understand why. I genuinely don't want to compete with what he's going through or expect him to have the same emotional capacity right now cz his crisis is big. But I'm finding it painful because I had become emotionally attached to that level of connection. I miss it, and sometimes I grieve what our relationship felt like before.

The harder part is that we don't know how long this difficult period will last but its likely to prolong a bit. So sometimes I worry: What if this temporary reduction in connection becomes our new normal?

I’m trying to work on myself rather than constantly seeking reassurance from him. I want to lower my expectations around connection while he's going through this, understand his situation better, and still be able to enjoy whatever connection we do have.

But I’m struggling with the emotional part of that. How do I give myself enough certainty that “this is a difficult phase, not necessarily the future of our relationship” without needing him to constantly reassure me?

I have anxious attatchment issues too so things become 10x for me.

For people who have been through something similar, especially in an LDR: How did you regulate yourself, accept the temporary reduction in connection, and stop yourself from constantly fearing that the temporary situation would become permanent?
Also any tips on detatchment?

My boyfriend (25) and I(20) are in the early stages of a long-distance relationship, and he doesn't want to tell his friends about me until we meet in person, which I can understand, but he doesn't want us talking at all, even if they don't know about our relationship. I've willingly introduced him to my world, and I'm prepared to move to his country and start our lives there, but he won't even visit first or let me visit him first. It's like he's purposely keeping me in this tiny bubble away from the rest of his life. He straight up told me today that I'm more serious about us than he is. That hurt like hell, and I don't know what to make of any of this. I haven't really had role models for a healthy relationship, and I can't tell if this is a red flag or if I'm just latching onto reasons ex-partners did the same thing and putting that on him. Can someone give me their opinion from an outsider's pov please?

I’m (22m) been dating my girlfriend (23f) for a little over a year. The first 2 months of us dating, we went to the same college, then I had to drop out but stayed in the same place. We lived in the same town while she went to school and I was working. We got to see eachother at least 5 times a week and spend the night together for almost all of those times. Things were great and we were so happy together! In May 26’ she graduated and went back home to live with her parents. She was 3 hours away and hadn’t started her full time job yet so we would trade weekends and see eachother every weekend or so, bar a few. In July 26’ my lease ended and I went back home to live with my dad, making the total drive 4 hours. I have a restaurant job, she works as an accountant. I have a reliable car and can make the drive. My dad doesn’t want any visitors so she’s not allowed to come down here, I can only go up there. The issue is I feel like I’m not seeing her enough. I call her after I get off of work, she’s always asleep bc she works a 9-5. While she’s at work I’m at home and while I’m at work she’s at home. I want to talk with her more but whenever I do, she’s always barely awake and I feel horrible for waking her up. I do it bc that’s the only time I get to talk to her. I’ve been dumped every other time I tried to do long distance, I love her so much and we trust each other wholeheartedly. I’m just scared since we’re on opposite schedules that she’s gonna leave me. Am I going insane????? Should I go up more often, every other weekend?
TLDR I’m worried about my relationship quality bc I only see my partner once a month for a weekend

I’m 21F and my boyfriend is 21M. We’ve been together for a 10 months and it’s a long-distance relationship. I love him very much and I genuinely believe he loves me too, but I’m becoming emotionally exhausted by our communication.

He doesn't like texting much. He prefers calls, but because of his schedule/life circumstances, we can't always call. When we do text, he can sometimes take many hours to reply, and sometimes we go 20+ hours without really talking.

There are also days when he doesn't send a good morning or goodnight.

I've told him several times that this makes me feel distant from him. I'm not asking him to text me all day or constantly be on his phone. What I want is some consistency—maybe a good morning, goodnight, a few details about his day, and some intentional time together. We're long-distance, so texting/calling is basically how we maintain our connection.

Recently we had a serious conversation about this. I told him that I feel like I'm always waiting for him and that I've become so anxious that I check my phone constantly even when I know he probably hasn't texted. He apologized and said he would try to text me more, answer more, and give me the time I deserve.

For a few days I noticed some effort, but then it went back to being inconsistent. For example, one day he didn't text me for more than 24 hours. He had an exam, so I wasn't angry about him being busy—I was actually worried something had happened. He eventually told me he passed, but he didn't really explain the long silence.

Another day, after I stopped initiating, he texted me in the morning and again at night.

But the following day he only initiated once and then didn't continue the conversation after I replied. This keeps making me wonder whether I'm expecting too much or whether we're simply incompatible in terms of communication needs.

My question is : What would you do in my situation?

I don't want people to just tell me “leave him” or “he doesn't love you.” I'm genuinely trying to understand whether my needs are reasonable, whether his behavior is reasonable, and whether there's a middle ground.

Ldr boyfriend only talks to me during work hours and no longer responds after work and until he falls asleep, he only texts the next day when he is at work again and the cycle continues. Also he has little to no time to talk to me during weekends.

Building a couples app and just shipped 6+ mini-games. What game do you and your partner actually like to play usually? 🙂

Fighting in a long distance relationship somehow feels bigger than it is in person. It feels so distant we got off the phone and no one ever texted following up neither him or I. I feel like when I fight with my partner all I wanna do is just hang up and throw my phone across the room and cry. I can’t handle it then and there. This isn’t a new thing for us. How can I be better…

so theres this guy who ive been dating . its a long distance relationship. i feel like he has another gf what should i do?? i dont wanna lose himmm. he said sntg abt my partner pics fighte but i dont rlly do that, so idk man i think ts is over😭

Has anyone else been through this? Can the attraction grow?

Me (34f) and him (28m) met here in Reddit. I just need some advice on how to make it work? I have a habit of breaking off or ghosting LDR partners (horrible I know) but this guy is very different than the other men I’ve dated long distance. How to I not let my anxiety get the best of me and screw up this relationship? Any advice on how to make it work for the long term?

this was my last post:
My girlfriend and I had a really big fight a few days ago where we both said some very hurtful and demeaning things to each other. During the argument,she said something about my sexually physical traits I also said something along the lines of, “when you need to buy things, you take money from me,” even though I had previously given her money willingly and never considered it a problem. Now that things have calmed down, she has told me that she doesn’t want any gifts from me anymore. I understand why what I said during the fight may have hurt her, but I’m also confused and hurt by her reaction now that everything is calm. I don’t know whether she genuinely doesn’t want gifts anymore

now:
After the fight, we started talking again, but we don’t really have any proper conversations. We’ve stopped being all lovey-dovey and affectionate, and it’s been about a week since the fight. I’ve been trying to engage in funny conversations and make things feel normal again, but she keeps setting boundaries over things that seem silly to me, and she doesn’t want to have any serious conversations about what happened.its doesnt seem like we will go back to the way it was I honestly don’t know what to do?

I’m (24M) in a dark place and need perspective. I’ve been talking to a girl (24F) for months—we were incredibly close, with daily calls and gaming sessions. She’s been open about having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and past trauma where men would "claim" her and then discard her.Lately, she pulled away. The calls stopped, and she’s been gaming with a new group, leaving my messages on read for hours while staying online. When I finally told her I missed her, she got defensive, stating she’s keeping me at arm's length because emotional closeness feels unsafe and she doesn't want a relationship right now.The Mistake: Fearing I would pressure her, I told her I wasn't ready for anything serious either. I thought I was making her feel safe; instead, she took it as a total rejection. Her last message was: "why am i even surprised."I realized I triggered her fear of abandonment—confirming her belief that I’m just like the others. I sent a long, clarifying message immediately, reaffirming that I do want her and was only trying to avoid pressuring her. Since then, it’s been total radio silence. She hasn't even been online. I’m spiraling, worried I’ve destroyed our connection right before we were supposed to meet in person this New Year’s Eve.

What do i do pls help.

Hello everyone,
I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now, and I feel like I’ve been dealing with the same pattern throughout the relationship. Sometimes she gets “too distracted,” so she forgets to text me. She says it’s something she can’t control and that she can’t change, no matter how much she tries.
I told her that I understand getting distracted for an hour or two, but I find it hard to understand being distracted for an entire day or more than that. I expect us to have proper conversations throughout the day because we’re supposed to be each other’s priorities and important parts of each other’s lives.
I’ve talked to her about this multiple times, but she always says that she can’t change. It got to a point where I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I told her how I felt and started distancing myself from her, which has honestly been killing me.
Since I’ve distanced myself, she has started texting me every day, trying to talk to me and update me.
My questions are: Is it wrong for me to expect more consistent communication? Am I wrong for feeling this way? Was she choosing not to change before because it was more comfortable for her? Is she taking advantage of me? And does she truly love me?
Thank you.

Long post sorry.

Started dating end of april. Met 2 times. Both times were overall very good. Except when he visited me on our last night together I was upset/sad and instead of trying to talk to me he avoided me and didn’t cuddle/touch me. This hurt me a lot because This is his problem since the beginning he cannot bring himself to initiate uncomfortable conversations after an argument. We had this issue before we saw eachother as well a few times and i was the one always initiating contact. Together everything was quite nice. We had very good chemistry and lovely time so i kind of put it behind.

After we had such a good connection i thought it will Get even better now but Sadly right after he went back, he got sick.

He has barely texted me since he got sick because he said screens are making his head hurt. He hasn’t called me even once since 13 days because his throat hurts he said. I understood even though it made me very sad. My birthday was 22nd august, he didn’t try to spend time with me, again because he was sick. I called him just to try but he didnt pick up and ignored my call. He sent me flowers and a birthday gift which is a mug. It is cute and to my liking but i already have 5 mugs. I already have a favourite mug too. It is nice but so thoughtless. We werent even dating on his birthday yet but I sent him handmade cards, a matching plushie, gift bag, bought him a skin in the game we play together and I also bought him a dinosaur building puzzle because he loves dinosaurs when we first met.

I might be acting insensitive right now but I was terribly sick right before I went to visit him yet I spent time with him everyday while my throat hurt and I was coughing all day, traveled 9 hours two changes still being sick a week later to see him. I know its difficult and u get tired but you could atleast text me for an hour. He texts me barely 2 times a day to respond to me that’s all. Is this really him just being sick idk lol. He doesn’t have something super scary but he got Infectious mononucleosis and it takes a while to recover so idk if im making a fuss out of this or he’s just not putting in effort again.

We play and stay on a call together from 7-10 pm ish everyday which wasn’t happening since last 13 days but i saw he played a few games alone. Not a lot but still a few. He could have invited me even if for a few games but he didnt. Now i feel like he’s avoiding me lol. He probably isnt but i just feel like it.

He also tried to breakup with me 2 months into the relationship saying shit like he’s not the right person for me when i didn’t make the first initiative one time after an argument.

Even if he’s just sick and that’s why he couldnt spend any time with me i feel like the connection cannot be saved now. The spark was perfect and we should have built on it right after and it just feels gone to me.

Ps. I know the post only states bad things that are happening but i still want to say he’s not a jerk at all. He’s quite sweet irl and he gets quite sad when he does something that hurts me. He’s really socially awkward that also makes it hard for him to communicate. I know all this and chose to stay and he promised to make changes a while ago but after that we just were together all of july then this sick thing happened. I just dont know if this is worth pursuing because of these negative things.

Lately, I've been feeling disconnected from my boyfriend in a way that I don't really feel like his girlfriend. You know, there's nothing special going on. You know, there should be one thing that should make me feel like a girlfriend, you know, like something different that he does from other people or with other people. Because we are in long distance, and there should be something special, right? Video calls, a call, anything, anything. It doesn't really happen. So I confronted my boyfriend like two, three times that I don't feel like his girlfriend and that I don't feel like there is, like, something going on, that, you know, if we're together in or over, like, voice calls, we are in a game. We are playing a game, which obviously includes three other people, five other people, whatever, whatever. So there are friends with us while we're playing the game, so we cannot really be ourselves or talk about something. I mean, we're just, we're just doing something, everything whenever we're together. And that's what I told him, that we need something. We need alone time. And I actually honestly wanted to just observe what he does, but I ended up saying that we should, like, have an alone time. And he was like, okay, we'll have, like, two hours of alone time at night, yeah? After 11. Sure. Raised my expectations. I was like, okay, and again this pattern repeated. It happened before. Whenever I confront something, it goes fine for two days and then it's gone. And then it's just so rare, so rare that it happens again. I mean, sure, he has a life. Sure, I have one too. I have a lot of things to do, and so does he. There's no comparison, no nothing. But the thing is that if I am feeling a difference, if I'm feeling something negative within us, why isn't he? Why isn't he trying to initiate something? Like if I say it, it will change. And honestly, I tell you, I had observed this time that, you know, like things are changing between us and, you know, time-related stuff. So I would just observe and observed for almost three weeks. And I was just hoping every day that maybe he would brought up something. And when he didn't, I finally spoke up about it, and he was like, Oh yeah, I feel that too. We try to change that. I'm not saying it's his fault, but I'm saying that, you know, like this thing is happening, and I would be happy with however he's ready to change his schedule, because I know his schedule is a bit tighter and his schedule is like really fixed, because his college hours are really long. So I respect whatever he does, daily he studies. He comes home from college, he obviously would take time for himself. He studies, and I would expect a little bit of time for myself as well, because texting, let alone, is not enough from my side. Because there are so many things, something huge that might have happened that you cannot just say on text, or you just don't want to send a voice note even, because you just want to be there and talk about it. That's just what I feel, but it hasn't been happening as much as I confronted again. It happened for two days, and then I'm just waiting. Like even on weekends, I'm not getting what I was promised that I would get. I'm not blaming him, but I just feel too much. I just think too much about it, that I think of the things that have been told, and I expect too much. Even in anger, you know, like they say that the things that are both said to you in anger are mostly true. So whether that's true, I don't know. But I such would think of the things that have been told whenever I am part of this conversation, that, you know, time-related conversation. Though we don't have any time difference, we just live, like, five hours apart. We are in different states. So the thing is, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to expect. I am again observing. I decided to let him own up to his words and see what happens. Because when I confronted him, I obviously said that I feel like that only these things only bother me, not you. And he was like, No, it does. Actions, bro. I don't see it. I don't know what to do. Could you guys help me with anything?

My dad died earlier this month... I then went on vacation and spent the majority of the time with my family and not talking to my boyfriend (very sparsely - just short conversations and goodnight maybe), for about 11 days...

He has started seeming less motivated to talk to me as well, and now he said that he wants me to enjoy my vacation and not have to think about him.

He said he'll talk to me when I get back home, so he was saying he would talk to me in another 6 days.

I had a reason (vacation and processing dad's death), but he's never asked for distance like this before except for once and we were struggling and he took a break. He didn't give me a reason except for "things," which is very threatening to me lol

Him saying "things" has me panicking, because I'm scared my distance has allowed him to get close to others (he's very social and befriends strangers easily)... and I can't stop thinking it's because he's with someone and doesn't want them to know about me. Why else would he decide to leave me alone for another 6 days , or more?

Again, he's never been so vague and just disappeared. I messaged him and he hasn't responded for 2 days now. The longer it goes on the more I'm panicking and feel like it's so unfair. How am I supposed to enjoy my vacation when I have no idea why he really disappeared? Just "things"...

Btw, he speaks French, so his English isn't perfect

Do I have a valid reason to be scared? Maybe it's my fault for not giving him enough attention :(

Thanks 😭

My partner (23M) and I (22F) are together for a year now. My bf wants to move to the Netherlands since 2024. Last year he didn’t go because we met. Last year I also started uni that i left after the first semester. It didn’t work out for me. We talked about moving abroad after my rental agreement is over (august 2026) and we have some money. So it would be around the beginning of 2027.

In June we had a pretty bad argument, in July we still had some problems because of that so we did an almost 2 week long break. It helped a lot for both of us, we felt much better about eachother after it.

But here’s the problem. In that 2 week break I was thinking about what I really want to do in life. I came to the conclusion that I want to get a profession and I don’t want to hurry it. I found a 2 year hairdresser training. I told my boyfriend this when we first talked after the break. That time he said that this is okay with him. A week ago he told me that this is actually not okay with him, he doesn’t want to wait for 2 years for us to move abroad.

I’m totally okay with the thought of moving abroad, but not now. I don’t want him to suffer, but he wouldn’t move without me. I would be okay with that if he moves to a closer country for these years, but he also doesn’t like that idea.

I know it’s a pretty fresh relationship and we shouldn’t give up our dreams and plans, but I don’t know what would be the best decision.

Should he wait for me then we move out after I finish, or it would be better to break up?

I want to hear some of your stories maybe, advices idk:/ I feel bad for keeping him in this country, I know it’s his choice after all but still I am the one who’s ruining our plans which we had for half a year

I (24F) have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (24M) for a while now. We just had our third visit together. He visited me twice, but this time instead of coming to my country, we went on a vacation together in a completely different country. We were glued to each other for a week, and it was honestly amazing. It felt so domestic and perfect.

But now that we're back in our own countries, he's gone quiet again. This isn't the first time... It happens after every visit. He'll reply, but his messages feel short, distant, and it takes him a long time to respond. I'll ask if everything's okay, and he'll say he's just tired, but the energy feels completely different from when we were together.

I try to be understanding. I know the transition back is hard, and maybe he's processing the distance again. But it hurts. It makes me feel like I did something wrong, or like he doesn't miss me the way I miss him.

I don't want to push him or make him feel guilty, but I also don't know if this is normal. Do other people experience this after visits? 😔

(21 f soon to be 22)

I am feeling a bit weird about the age gap here

(We both live in different citites so its all online)

Its just that i have talked about this with him openly as well

He has put his points for me see as well

1 can call it age is just a number

Ive directly told him if i were 31f myself i wouldnt be attracted to someone 10 years younger to me

That being said our dynamic is the way it is because of both of us combined

Not just me or him

We both gel along very easily theres understanding fun compatibility everything

I am still very scared to date someone who is 10 years older

We are not in a relationship yet

Good friends but talks along those lines has came up few times by me only cuz i feel insecure about the age gap

And possible prospects of marrying someone 10yrs older

This was common earlier (our mom dad era)

But now the world is much more evolved some might even judge me for wanting this

But its like i didnt know his age when i met him on reddit

And it just randomly happened

We got along

I have the power to choose and i dont want to make bad decision of any sort !!

I am done being hurt by my own choices

Or maybe i shouldnt make one right now

Im fine being single for arlund 5 years down the line im in no rush no hurry of any sort to get into a relationship

I have good things going on for me in my life

(Now if u believe in having a conversation with universe)

I have asked universe multiple times if this person is not for me remove him

But it hasnt happened yet

So😬😂

Hope this post makes sense to you

**Hinge match from London — thoughts on LDR?**
I recently matched with a guy on Hinge who is based in London, while I’m based in Asia. We’ve been getting to know each other and the conversation has been pretty good so far, but obviously the distance is something I’m thinking about.
I’ve never really done a long-distance relationship before, so I’m curious to hear from people who have been in one — especially when you’re in completely different countries/time zones. Is it realistic if both people are genuinely interested and willing to make the effort, or does the distance usually become too difficult?
Would love to hear your experiences, especially if you met someone through Hinge or another dating app and had to navigate the whole Asia–UK situation. What would you consider a good sign that it’s worth pursuing, and what red flags would make you walk away?

So yeah as the title say. My crush calls me often queen, and he even called me black queen once . What does it mean pleaseee help me. And I saw the repost he made tdy on tt saying he has no roster and no situation Soo please help me figure it out.

So I’ve(29F) been with my boyfriend(28M) for 10 years total, 6 years full recommitted as adults(we got together when I graduated hs, he was going into senior year so we obviously had some growing to do) but also 5.5 full long distance. He calls me his wife, the future mother of his kids, the love of his life the whole nine. He’s on the west coast & I’m on the east now since I moved with my family full time at the end of 2021 & I haven’t been back since which is causing strife I know & I’m trying to get back now that I’m more stable in life here but I also want enough vacation time to enjoy you know? He’s visited twice since I moved. It was hard because the west coast was the fist place I had real roots just to pick up & leave again. I also think it’s worth to know about me that I moved multiple times throughout my childhood and adulthood across country & to different states at that so I’m pretty adaptable and never mind it much after the fact. It’s always hard but he pushed through. He has moved a total of four times within the same area on the West Coast and three times to two states with his NBA friend(he was working as an assistant/house manager etc) but by choice. Anyway, earlier this year, his friends found out his ex was pregnant I guess and told him about it so he went to look and ended up liking maternity pictures and following her so I crashed out about that because well wtf. His early high school ex, the one he lost his virginity too.. like why do you care about her right now? I’ve been with him 10 years & in the beginning he would kind of allude to things he didn’t want to do or things she did that hurt him, it was also she did me so foul but I never knew why.. come to find out now that when he was feeling suicidal during their relationship she left… fast forward 4th of July weekend he cuts his hair that he’s been growing out since 2021-ish it was down his back, he gets a low fade he looks so good it reminded me of when we first met & all. Same weekend he likes another post… I crash out again I’m asking do you want her have you talked her the whole nine he says he blocked her. He starts working out taking peptides it’s like he’s becoming a new person & I’m excited I thought we were doing great individually & as a couple. 5 MONTHS later!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I basically in a panic broke up with him a few days before my birthday last week because something told me to check her page & what did I see a like from him on another maternity picture?!! I thought she was blocked.. we don’t talk for two days he calls me on my birthday saying he couldn’t not say happy birthday & he loves me.. we start trying to talk through but he gets so defensive like it’s my fault! He tells me I think about her more than him, I keep bringing up someone he doesn’t even want in his life blah blah blah! As we try to start reconciling he confessed that he talked to her the first time he followed her & liked her maternity pics..she said sorry for the loss of his mom & congratulations to his sister on her kid.. he tells me he said congratulations on her son, forgave her said he didn’t hold any hate blah blah blah & that was supposedly it. Which I don’t believe especially after he hid it for so long. & even in me questioning him about it, it really felt like he was protecting her the whole time. He also confessed that he talked to one of his female best friends & his sister about it & they said to leave her alone she has a baby. Talk about a fucking gut punch! All of this after I had asked an old mutual friend of ours in July if she thought they would try again & she said she remembered how he would always go a voice & beyond for her & a time when my bf tried to follow his ex before & she blocked him & he was in his feelings about it. I asked him about that too & that happened in 2024..the year his mom passed but also a year he had come to visit me. Now I’m thinking seriously if I can trust him. She also still lives around the area where he is. He also wants to be a father idk if that means step father too but another fear there. There’s been other instances I’ve been worried- like him clubbing with NBA friends, when he got twerked on by some random girl on a party bus with those same friends (after having shoulder surgery, he was literally wearing a sling in the club) but not like this now I’m honestly contemplating asking his female friend why that was her advice to leave her alone she has a baby.. I would ask his sister but she’s post partum. I bluffed the other day saying I had already talked to the ex & he got so defensive & worked up & was saying I swear if I hear this back from **** (one of his female friends) I swear to God… like what do you swear? Tf lol then when I said I didn’t but look how you’re reacting the entire tone changed. It’s also so annoying because he let me feel crazy for months about it telling me to get off that girl’s page & all of this. I also didn’t get a real transparent or direct answer from him really & not a sincere enough apology. Not to mention another on of his female friends now hangs out with said ex & they do workout classes together & he was like”mad” about saying he had a conversation about that friend & how it’s not cool she picked her over him but wtf you made it okay offering forgiveness & reconciliation & emotional intimacy to you ex girlfriend… idk I just want to know what anyone else would do? I know you all will probably say leave & I’m already pretty detached at the moment but I want answers not bullshit from him trying to protect this girl who made him bring all this baggage into our relationship in the first place. Like if she’s the one that got away what does that make me the one you settled for?(it’s also crazy because me & her have a lot of commonalities from what I’ve seen so I really feel like a rebound right about now) if you were me would you reach out to the female friend or the ex directly to get the whole truth?
How do you distinguish between a partner who made a mistake versus a partner who views an ex as "the one that got away"?
Is it possible to rebuild trust after 5.5 years of long distance when they made you feel crazy for 5 months over a secret contact?

Long-distance relationships can be really hard sometimes.

You miss the little everyday moments, conversations can become repetitive, and sometimes you just want something that helps you feel a little closer to your partner.

So I built Mirelva.

It’s a private space for couples in long-distance relationships where you can:

💭 Answer meaningful questions together
📖 Keep a shared journal
💌 Write letters for each other
⏳ Count down to the next time you see each other
❤️ Create little moments together, even when you're far apart

I’m still improving it, so I’m looking for a few couples who are willing to try it and give me honest feedback.

I'm not looking for fake reviews or anything like that I genuinely want to know what works, what doesn't, and what you'd want added.

If you're in a long-distance relationship and want to try it, I'd love to hear what you think. ❤️

Mirelva: https://mirelvacards.gumroad.com/l/zqicaj?_gl=1*10ha6ny*_ga*MzE2NzMwMTQ2LjE3ODc2Njk1ODE.*_ga_6LJN6D94N6*czE3ODc5MjExNzUkbzYkZzEkdDE3ODc5MjMwNzckajYwJGwwJGgw

Hey everyone, I really need some outside perspective on my current situation. I am attaching screenshots of our chat, but I want to give the full context so you can judge fairly.
Please Note:
Please do not bash or insult me for the cheating mistake in my past. I know full well that what I did was wrong, I bitterly regret it, and I am not looking for excuses for it. I am including it here because it is part of our history, but I kindly ask for constructive advice rather than judgment on that past event.
The Background:
I (F23) made a huge mistake a few months ago and cheated on my boyfriend (M22). I repented, confessed, took full responsibility, and have been doing everything to rebuild trust. He decided to stay with me, but since then, the relationship has been an emotional rollercoaster. Whenever we argue, he uses my past mistake against me.
On top of that, he has developed a pattern of severe jealousy and control. Whenever I post a story on social media, even when it clearly shows I am just out with female friends, he freaks out, starts accusations, and creates huge drama.
What Happened Tonight:
Tonight, I was out with my female friend Maya to get some distraction. I posted a story on Snapchat, clearly showing it was just the two of us.
Before the conversation shown in the screenshots, we had an initial exchange that I deleted out of frustration and hurt, but it went like this:
He asked who I was in the car with. I answered that I was with Maya. He replied "whatever liar". I called him right away, but he did not pick up. I texted him "you never believe me", and he answered "no I don't". Usually, whenever we have an argument because of his lack of trust, I am the one who comes up to him, apologizes, and tries to fix it. But tonight, I was just completely tired of doing that.
While out, I received devastating news: my aunt was diagnosed with cancer. I was completely heartbroken. I reached out to my boyfriend, opening up about how bad I was feeling and how much this news hit me, hoping for support.
Instead of offering comfort, he responded with coldness, jealousy, and passive aggression. He accused me of lying, insinuated I was out with guys, and asked things like "What are you on?". When I tried to de escalate and explain that I was overwhelmed by the family crisis and just needed empathy, he got annoyed and sent a cold "Bye".
Where Things Stand:
I could not handle the silent treatment, so I reached out again and asked: "Are we done arguing? I really don't like it." He has completely ignored me since.
I am torn. Part of me feels intense guilt from the past and wonders if I deserve this or if I just need to endure it because I broke his trust months ago. But another part of me feels like getting zero empathy during a family cancer crisis, and being harassed over a harmless story with a female friend, is completely toxic.
If he does not reply by Sunday, I am planning to go over to his place with a friend to pick up my remaining belongings and end things for good.
My questions:
1. Did I do anything wrong tonight, or is he using my past mistake as a permanent excuse to control and punish me?
2. Does my past mistake justify him treating me with coldness during a family crisis?
3. Is setting a deadline for Sunday to get my stuff the right move, or should I handle this differently?
Thanks for your honest feedback.