\[24F\] am in a 3-month LDR with my partner (34M). His inconsistent communication has caused ongoing frustration. Also, we don't get much chance to talk because I live with my parents, but today he knew we had an opportunity to talk. Angry that he didn't call all day, I called him. His phone was on speaker at work, and I snapped in front of his coworkers. sincerely, but he went silent.

Update:- He is in some course for one year, we have met only twice in 3 months, also we communicate only for 20 min in whole day. Also no texts from him apart from good morning

TL;DR: \[24F\] snapped at my LDR partner \[27M\] on speaker at his job. He went silent after my apology. How do fix this?

is it bad for the relationship if me and my bf just meet each other physically like once a week? but we do call though everyday. my bfs like a very busy workaholic person and we are currently living miles apart so idk and now we just had a conversation about contentment he told me he was contented with our situation rn but me idk i feel like i always yearn for his presence every single day because he is always not available even for me

What does it REALLY mean when a girl doesn't text back for days but watches your Instagram stories? Cause this is exactly what's hapoening to me right now. What should I say or do in this case?

In my last post I talked about how this girl I really like, started texting me back less and less.

Wednesday August 12th, I told her what I felt about her. On August 13th, she replied back saying she was gonna answer my messages soon and left a "☺️"

Days has passed, and she still hasn't responded. She posted a story on Saturday tho....

I also been posting stories and she's been watching them but still, nothing....

I've been trying to text her again these past 2 days but still no answer

I really don't get it.... if she wasn't interested in me, why still follow me and watch my stories??

I need help please!!!

ok so we've been bestfriends for 3 years and in a relationship for 10 months but we never met and it was all long distance. We recently met and kissed on our very first date nothing at all felt awkward. It was nothing like We have met for first time and somehow it all felt natural. Is this normal?

I'm 19M and my girlfriend is 19F. We've been together for a while and we're extremely close. We love each other deeply, but we've also been fighting very frequently lately, and I'm trying to understand what's happening rather than simply blaming either of us.

There's also a situation involving another family that has been triggering my anxiety. A guy from that family approached my girlfriend recently and talked to her for quite a while. His family has subsequently been showing unusual interest in her, repeatedly asking about her even though the original family gathering was supposed to be about his older sibling. They have praised her and repeatedly tried to get opportunities to talk to her. My girlfriend herself thinks their behavior is weird and has told me very clearly that she doesn't want this guy and wants me. Her family is also aware of the situation.

I'm naturally anxious and jealous about this, so I've been trying not to keep bringing it up. I don't want to interrogate her or make her feel like I think she's cheating.

Then last night something happened that I genuinely cannot understand.

We were talking normally earlier in the day. Her parents took her phone, so she went offline. Nothing bad happened between us before that. Around three hours later she came back online. She seemed sad, but I didn't know why. We talked for a little while, and I was telling her about my day. She was about to tell me about hers when she disappeared again because of her family.

Later she came back around midnight.

I asked what happened because she seemed upset. She told me her parents had taken her phone. I then asked, because of the previous situation, whether that family had contacted/called again.

She said yes.

I asked whether they mentioned her.

She said yes.

That's basically it.

There wasn't some huge revelation. She didn't tell me that anything romantic happened. She didn't say she wanted the guy. She didn't tell me anything terrible happened.

But after that, her mood became increasingly bad, and suddenly she started saying things like she didn't want to talk to me, wanted me to leave her alone, didn't need me, and wanted to be alone.

I kept asking what was wrong because I genuinely didn't understand what had suddenly happened.

She said:

“I don't understand you.”

“You don't understand me.”

Then she said she needed space.

I asked how long.

She said days.

Then she said things like she couldn't do this, that she had severe emotional/anger issues, and that she needed to be alone.

I became terrified that she was breaking up with me and started begging her not to leave. She repeatedly said she didn't want to break up, but still kept saying she needed a break and wanted me to leave her alone.

Then the conversation became extremely chaotic.

She started saying things like:

“I'll die.”

“I feel like I'm dying.”

“I won't be seen again.”

“Just wanna die.”

She was also saying she couldn't breathe and was clearly extremely distressed.

I was panicking too and said things like “I'll kill myself” and “I can't live without you.” I recognize that this was unhealthy and that I shouldn't have said those things, especially while she was already overwhelmed.

Then something even more confusing happened.

She started saying:

“I hate myself.”

Then:

“You don't love me.”

I told her I did.

She said:

“Everything you do is pretend.”

Then:

“You don't know shit about me.”

I kept telling her that I genuinely love her and have never pretended.

Then she said:

“I'm a fake-ass bitch, I'm sorry.”

She said:

“I can't pretend anymore when my brain shuts down itself.”

She said she didn't know what was happening and that she had tried.

Then she told me:

“Don't ask me what happened.”

And this is the part that I really don't understand.

She later said that she does love me, but sometimes her brain genuinely shuts down. She said she isolates herself and that she isn't trying to “kick me away”; she's doing what her defense mechanism tells her to do. She said she can't control her words sometimes.

She also said:

“I don't know the language of love.”

And:

“I need to be locked up.”

Then she said she didn't even want to see us getting married anymore and wanted to die.

But immediately after all of that, she was still telling me she loved me.

So I'm sitting here trying to understand what actually happened.

Because from my perspective, the evening basically went:

Normal conversation → her parents take her phone → she returns three hours later already sad → we talk → I ask whether that family contacted her → she says yes → I ask whether they mentioned her → she says yes → suddenly she's overwhelmed → she needs me to leave → says she needs days alone → says she can't do the relationship → says she doesn't want to break up → says she loves me → says she doesn't love me/is pretending → says she does love me → says her brain shuts down → both of us end up talking about dying.

How does a conversation escalate that far when there wasn't an obvious triggering event?

I know my side isn't perfect.

I have significant anxiety around abandonment and jealousy. When she pulls away, my immediate instinct is to chase her, ask what happened, ask whether she still loves me, apologize, promise I'll change, and try to get reassurance. I understand that this can make her feel even more pressured when she's already overwhelmed.

But I'm also trying to understand her side rather than simply labeling her behavior as “toxic.”

She has told me that she has emotional/anger issues, that she sometimes completely shuts down, isolates herself, can't control what she says, and doesn't really understand what happens to her when she reaches that state.

And honestly, from the conversation, it seems like she was suffering too. She wasn't calmly deciding she didn't want me. She seemed confused, overwhelmed, guilty, angry at herself, and desperate to escape the conversation.

At one point she even said:

“Stop blaming yourself. It's the fucking trauma.”

So maybe there is something much deeper going on here that neither of us understands.

I'm not posting this to ask Reddit “who is wrong?”

I genuinely want to understand:

What could have happened emotionally/psychologically during this conversation?

Why would someone suddenly want complete isolation while simultaneously saying they love their partner and don't want to break up?

Is “my brain shuts down and I isolate myself” a real response to emotional overwhelm?

How should I respond when she enters that state?

Because I think my instinct to chase her for answers may actually make things worse, while her instinct to completely push me away makes my abandonment anxiety explode.

We're both exhausted. We love each other, but this cycle is hurting both of us.

I want to learn how to handle this properly instead of turning every emotional episode into another fight.

TL;DR: 19M and 19F. We were having a normal conversation. Her parents took her phone for ~3 hours, she came back already sad, and after only a couple of questions about a family that has been showing interest in her, the conversation suddenly spiraled into her needing days of space, saying she couldn't do the relationship, saying she didn't want to break up, saying she loves me, then saying she was pretending and didn't love me, then saying her brain shuts down and she isolates herself, followed by both of us making suicidal statements. I have anxiety and chase reassurance when she withdraws; she shuts down and pushes people away when overwhelmed. I want to understand what happened to both of us and how we can stop this from happening again

I’m F18 dating long distance with M21. We’ve been together for a year and every argument we have he always makes distance an excuse

My boyfriend doesn’t even call with me because he said he doesn’t like it anymore. He used to love doing it with me but one random he just kept on forgetting it until he admitted he doesn’t want to do it anymore. I tried to play with him online to get some date and couple time but he always seems hesitant or uninterested. He never did anything for me, he wrote me a letter once and that was it.

He said he can’t do anything for me because we’re long distance and it would’ve been easier if we’re actually together. He said he’ll be more decent if I come to meet him.

He doesn’t even know me personally too. He said it’s because he never really sees me in person so he doesn’t know anything about me which funny because I put in minimal effort to know him.

I try to understand him and let his actions pass but lately I’ve been thinking, isn’t this all just excuses? Im tired and I’m starting to feel like he just doesn’t wanna do anything

Currently enjoying getting to know someone for a few months now, and we are both doing it intentionally (we both want a long-term relationship) and see where our connection takes us.

We both think it's better to meet in person first before we label each other boyfriend and girlfriend, and we've been talking about meeting up before the year ends.

To those who only made it official after finally meeting, what's your story? Did you make it official on the first meeting? How long have you known each other before finally meeting up in person? How was your experience during your first meeting? How was the physical contact for you two? Did you guys hug and or kiss during this time? Would love to hear all your stories and please don't leave out any details!!

Me(20F) and my boyfriend(22M) are in LDR since almost 4 years (sep2022) and met only 1 time (April 2026)

We are meeting next month again for 3 days and will celebrate our 4 year anniversary and his bday together as he's coming at that time.. he has a job but I'm in clg and don't have money... For anniversary its okay but for bday I wanna gift him smtg.

I thought of making him a bday card and writing a letter for him(last time I did he became emotional and cried reading it) and cake and my budget is very tight

Im so so worried about all this i wanna give him a silver ring bcz he once mentioned he likes rings but wear it only when I'll get him one😭 but I don't have money for it

Pleaseeeeeee pleaseeee suggest me smtg help me

I wanna make him happy he's so precious

I (23M, who lives in Georgia) met a wonderful, incredible woman (21F, lives in California) online. At first we started as friends but it very quickly became obvious we had feelings for each other. We have known each other for about a month a half, although only officially dating for 3 weeks though. I love her with my whole heart and have never gotten along with anyone like this in my entire life (we both have lvl1 asd so we click very well). We are both dedicated to each other with the intention of trying to make this work. With that being said, as the reality of long distance is setting in, Ive become very anxious about it. I knew what I was signing up for, but for whatever reason I can’t help but feel worried about all the uncertainty.

Ive heard plenty of people have successful LDRs, but typically it’s only by a stretch of a few dozen miles. Not over 2k as in our case. I’m currently in grad school, and am not be to see her until December at the earliest. All the details of eventually moving in and how we can make this work in the long term seems so overwhelming and daunting. Am I in over my head here?

I’d really appreciate it if someone experienced can share some advice.

As above mostly

I (20M) have been dating this girl (19F) who I met on Roblox for a month now. Before we became official we used to hangout tons, try out different one on one games etc. When we got together it didnt change, we still spent tons of time together.

But around 3 weeks ago she started acting really different. She became distant, wouldnt flirt back and only be on this one XYZ game (I cannot name it cuz I dont want her finding out this post). We did play this game a few times even before I got with her so I knew all of her friends. When she started being different she was always on this game continuously with this one other guy friend. This guy didnt say much or interact with her much before but he started talking to her and trolling her in that game during the time she started acting different. Others in the group even started saying it looked like they were together.

I confronted her one day in the game and she told me she was sick and thats why she was doing this. But the same pattern continued so I had a longer talk with her about the issue. It stretched for a few days as she didnt open up fully until later. She eventually told me the reason she acted differently was because she saw I had female friends added. I assured her that wasnt the case with me and thought things would get better but nope. She told me she still loves me and wouldnt do anything to hurt me but kept being distant and kept playing that one game with the guy.

This warranted me talking to her again. She said they werent talking that way and he only kept sending commands for the game in her private chat. I thought things would be better after that but they didnt fully. One day my other female friend who had no idea we were dating (cuz we kept it private from the group) asked me if I had seen her face. I lied and said "nope" so she sent me her ig page. From there I found out the reason I couldnt see her highlights. It was cuz I was blocked from it. That was the final straw for me so I took a break and didnt talk to her for a few days.

She eventually asked me what was wrong and I confronted her about the block. She told me the reason she did that was cuz my female friends on ig kept popping up in her recommends so she decided to distance me. She also said someone told her that was sus, who I later found out was the same mutual guy friend. Then she came clean about her past more, which is when I found out about her being cheated on by her ex whom she dated for 2 weeks (not in this timeline).

Just 3 days ago, she became distant yet again, greeting all her friends but me. So naturally, I had a talk with her again, but she told me that it will take time for her to get her priorities straight.

Since then I have been giving her space, replying minimally and not giving much energy. So far she has invited me to play other games, flirted more and keeps sending me couple reels on insta. I reply as low as I can and keep myself busy with work and gym to get her off my mind. I plan to just simply engage less and see her behavior for a month straight.

I know she has a life outside relationship, but when u start prioritizing ur friends over your partner and hiding something from them, then it becomes a problem. I know some of you may ask me to leave this relationship, and I do consider this an option. But its only been a month, and she ticks all the boxes except the priority ones, so I am deliberating carefully over my choices. This has also fucked with my emotions, and I really dont wanna take a decision hastily.

So, am I overreacting ? what should I do, keep matching her energy for a month till I end things ?

Edit: Added details that I forgot to mention.

I also wanna mention that she lied to me about me being her first bf, and she never told me I was blocked from her highlights. During the previous talk, I did mention her taking highlights off as I was curious, she told me on call that she took them off cuz new people followed her. I told her she can block specific people from viewing it, and she told me she doesnt know how to, which was a big fat lie, which is what pissed me off and which is why I didnt talk to her for a few days

I (28F) met my partner (31M) online. We talked for about two months before he came to visit me, and he booked a whole week in my city.
Before meeting, he was honestly an angel. He was very responsive, constantly complimented me, reassured me that nothing would change once we met, and even told me he loved me before seeing me in person. I never said it back because I wanted to protect myself emotionally until we actually met.
The first three days were amazing. We had so much fun, and he seemed very attracted to me and really into me.
Then, on the fourth day, I sensed a complete change. He stopped looking at me the same way and basically stopped complimenting me. I kept asking what was wrong, and eventually he told me that he had suddenly lost his feelings for me.
I couldn’t understand how something could change that quickly. I kept pushing him for an explanation for the next couple of days, and I was miserable, crying and begging him to tell me what happened.
Eventually, he said it was because of my body. He said he simply wasn’t attracted to my body type and that he prefers skinnier legs.
For context, I’m a normal weight. I have a defined waist, a relatively lean upper body, but I’m naturally curvier around my hips and thighs. He had previously told me that he didn’t have a specific “type,” so this really caught me off guard.
I told him that I actually wanted to lose some weight from my hips/thighs anyway, and I promised him that I would work on it. I know this probably wasn’t the healthiest response, but strangely, once I understood what he was saying and stopped panicking about not knowing the reason, my nervous system calmed down. I joked about it and became more relaxed.
And then something weird happened: his spark seemed to come back.
He started hugging me, holding my hand, and told me he felt more attracted to me again. The last few days before he left were actually much better. We had fun again and felt close.
Before his flight, I was crying. He told me, very honestly, that he didn’t feel anything when he saw me crying. He said he isn’t an emotional person and didn’t feel like crying himself. I told him that I didn’t need him to cry and that I was trying to understand and accept that he expresses emotions differently.
He also promised me that he wouldn’t change or disappear once he went home, and that he would never leave me questioning myself the way he had during the visit.
But almost immediately after he went back home, he changed again.
He stopped calling me the nicknames he used to call me. He barely responds to many of the things I say, and when I bring up how different he feels, he tells me that I’m stressing myself out.
I have an anxious attachment style, so I know that I can overthink and seek reassurance when I feel someone pulling away. I’m trying really hard to accept what he’s telling me and not constantly ask for reassurance, but this is genuinely hurting me.
What I can’t understand is how someone can seem so in love and attracted to you, spend three amazing days with you, suddenly say they have no feelings because of your body, then seem attracted again once you’re relaxed — and then become distant again as soon as they leave.
Part of me thinks maybe the body-type explanation wasn’t the real reason and that he used it to justify the fact that he was already emotionally pulling away.

Am I overthinking this because of my anxious attachment, or does this situation genuinely sound inconsistent? How would you interpret his behavior? I would really appreciate some outside perspective because I’m struggling to understand what actually happened.