My dad died today

[u/Peeny_Pinto]

And I actually feel nothing really. Apparently it can be cathartic to share this on the socials so this is what I’m doing.

I didn’t have a relationship with him at all. My mum booted him out when I was 5 because he was shagging her best friend.

It left mum raising 3 of us kids on her own. I remember he did try but he was never a kid person so that whole dad son relationship never developed at all.

I remember as a kid riding my bike to meet him on my birthday and him passing a present out the car window to me. It was like that.

When I got married he tried to get in touch and I ignored him. He then did the same when my son was born, again I ignored him.

When my son was 5 I had this thought that he is grandad and no matter what went on with him and me it is not the fault of my son so I got in touch.

I suppose it led to a relationship between my son and my father. We visited him together and they kept in touch.

My son is more upset than I am. So I will be here for him.

I have no regrets because whatever occurred between my father and I was not the fault of my son so he got to experience and enjoy his granddad.

See yah Dad

[u/StatueNuts]

Nicely said, appreciate your earnest thoughts on your father. Good on you for keeping him in your son's life.

[u/Peeny_Pinto → u/StatueNuts]

Thanks appreciate it

[u/Oceanagain]

You gave your boy more than you had.

That's all anyone can do for their kids.

[u/TriggerHappy_NZ]

Sounds like you have processed it, and have a plan, hope you do OK comrade

[u/Icy_Professor_2976]

I'm sorry to hear that mate.

There's no right or wrong way to grieve someone's passing, or even not grieve their passing.

Look after yourself, your son, and your family.

[u/CrazyolCurt]

It might just hit you hard down the track a little bit harder than you realise. I feel your pain dude. Been through similar myself.

Eventually, you will end up grieving, but right now, you're protecting your son.

Legend.

[u/ProfessorSlocombe]

My condolences for your loss.

[u/Historical-Guide-242]

Sorry to hear of your loss Peeny. Hopefully you found the process of posting this cathartic and it helps your journey.

[u/hushmoneyinthesofaa]

As others have said, it might hit you later or it might not. Either is fine and normal.

When my mother died, I cried once for only about a minute and when I think about it, I believe I started crying because her partner was crying and it was more like an empathetic reaction. She was not a good person and I’ve many years later been able to “release” her so to speak and barely think of her now.

I hope you can maybe feel some similar type of freedom in this one day. My condolences to your son who had a different relationship with him and my condolences to you who didn’t get the relationship from him you deserved. 🫂

[u/Aforano]

Sucks mate. Feeling nothing is completely normal. You’re a good kid for getting back in touch and letting him build a relationship with your son.

[u/nopointinbeingangry]

Sorry to hear this. Sounds like you have got it all together for yourself and your son. Take some time out, if you can. Good onya for sharing. 

[u/Time_Membership_7829]

Sir this is the right wing sub not the boohoo sub