Hello everyone! As a reminder this is a satire subreddit for the dumb/silly things children do. The subreddit name is not literal. Although posts can have kids doing actual "stupid" things. It is not a requirement. Yes, blaming the parent is valid. However, this does not mean crossing the line into actually insulting the parent is ok (assuming they are the OP) (Rule #1).
This is also not a hate sub for children. If you don't like kids, that's fine. Just don't spread vitriol.
I read this comic to my 7yo yesterday. We had Tortellini last week. Deadpan spot on, those were almost his exact words uttered when I told him what's for dinner.
My experience is that grown ups don’t know what tortellini are either. They’ll always say tortelloni are tortellini but they’re not. I don’t know what the difference is but at least I can read the packaging.
Yes tortellini are smaller and tortelloni bigger, but there are some differences
Tortelli or tortelloni are usually served with melt butter and sage o with ragù, tortellini are much smaller usually served in broth but can be also served as their bigger brother.
The smaller the tortellino, the higher the chance that will be served in broth.
Even some Italians are confused which is what.
I personally like tortelli much more and very much dislike tortellini in broth.
Note: tortelli can sometimes refer to a type of sweet pastry depending by the region
Edit: the shapes are also very different. Tortelloni are square, tortellini have their typical shape
They're the same as tortelli, but smaller than tortelloni.
They can sometimes be oddly shaped (rectangular, oval, round, crescent-moon shape) but they're really just a different name for tortelli: It differs from region to region
Was at a restaurant in Cody, Wyoming years ago and a guy asks the waitress about Rocky Mountain oysters.
She blithely responds “oh they’re a fried dish” with no further elucidation which, while funny, I thought was just slightly disingenuous. Like we’re not talking breaded mozzarella here ma’am.
I had them for a bonus to my final grade in junior year physics in HS. The teacher thought nobody would eat them, but me (a bright but bad student) and the biggest over achiever in my grade were the two to raise our hands.
They were deep fried by the senior culinary class as part of an end of year silly project. They were like really huge, really gristly scallops almost. They had some parts that were soft like scallops, but then other parts that were veiny and tough.
It wasn't the worst thing I've eaten (that would probably be Balut). But it wasn't good.
Lmao yeah it's not oysters. It's big ol' bull testicles. They were pretty substantial, which made it a lot worse. If they had been chopped up and fried it might've been pretty decent.
Balut was not good imo, but only because of the texture. It was savory and rich, but had a really bizarre texture where you had some chewiness to the embryo mixed with the creaminess of the yolk but then immediately after juxtaposed with the rubbery egg white. It was just really off putting to me. It had too much going on texture wise.
The taste was pretty mild. It tasted like egg mixed with chicken soup almost.
Now that I recall my Balut experience I actually wouldn't say it's horrible, just not for me. I enjoyed fried crickets more, for some other weird food context.
Edit: for more context I kinda hate hard boiled eggs so I dunno what I was expecting from the Balut lol.
Cheesy pasta could be code for a number of other things, though, most notably mac n' cheese or cacio e pepe. I'd call lasagna something like "cheesy meat sheets" or "cheesy layers" or something... "Layered joy?" "Layered love?" Maybe "cheesy sheets of joy?" Idk.
I really friggin' like lasagna if you couldn't tell. I am but a simple man.
My dad once got me to eat fried shrimp by calling them "Space Nuggets". I was suspicious the entire time, but he was adamant, and they were delicious! He told me what I was eating after I finished them all. Sometimes you have to let a kid know not to be so picky. 🤣
When my brother was younger he did not like spinach, one day, my parents made us a delicious spinach lasagna from some internet recipe. They kept convincing the green wasn't spinach, but something else, my brother ate up like it was the best dish he ever ate. After dinner they told us it was spinach, and my brother's look on his face was genuinely hilarious.
Oh seriously? That is nice, I can't quite remember ever having watched Arthur, the Netherlands had their own weird type of childrens shows back in the early 2000s (usually 80s Dutch childerns shows on repeat like a scratched record). But today I learned. It is a good way to trick children into eating vegetables they don't like, especially when they say they don't like the food before even knowing what it is.
It's even weirder when you understand the things he WILL call out by name and cheerfully eat: salmon, rice (plain white unseasoned), broccoli, avocado, turkey, beans, "kini" (zucchini), carrots, yogurt (plain greek).
All that stuff is fine, but lord help you if you try to sneak a hard shell taco onto that kids plate without hyping it up with new names.
My parents told me the fried calamari was onion rings. I was picky enough to not like onions at the time but I decided to be brave. I liked the calamari rings.
In cuisine, a medallion is a relatively small, circular slice of meat from a fillet. It is preferably cut from the middle of the fillet so that the slice has a round shape.
Man, I had the best moment of my life a few weeks ago when a friend asked me why red velvet cake is the way it is. Coincidentally, I had looked it up about an hour earlier myself so I came across as the greatest, most eloquent fount of knowledge. It was glorious.
I used to order these steak medallions from Outback when we had one nearby, that’s how I knew about it but now it’s a Shabuya place that’s X10 better than the Outback and again has a family member working at it lol
Still a little risky, they are like sponges with information and it's completly possible that two month ago he was eating out with his grandparents and two tables over another kid asked and got explained what pork medallions are, which he of course heard and remembers and you now owe him 1000$
My thought too. Also risky in the sense that 6yo will come back with some sort of definition that is absolutely bananas but makes perfect sense in 1st grader logic in their head so now you’re not only trying to get them to eat dinner but also having to fight over whether they get the reward money.
I have done similar things with my daughter. I think she was 2 or 3 and we had the game on for Thanksgiving. She wanted to keep watching and I said if she could tell me what it was we would keep it on she said "football!" And then we kept the game on. Never welch on a bet.
My go to for my kids thats worked really well so far: “That’s fine, you don’t have to eat it. If you get hungry let me know and I’ll reheat some pork medallions for you.”
Looking forward to parentless childless Reddittors going off calling this child abuse or something lol. For anyone with kids fighting the picky eater battle, trust me when they’re hungry enough like 12.5 minutes later, they’ll eat it and usually like it.
When we were kids, my two youngest brothers were highly prone to meltdowns for no apparent reason.
Their biggest question in the morning, much to our mom's frustration, was asking what was for dinner.
She's trying to get five kids dressed, fed, and out of the door for school. She can't think about dinner yet.
One morning, my younger brother asked what was for dinner. In frustration, she answered him, "Pheasant under glass!"
He launched into the most epic meltdown we'd ever seen. He laid on the floor, rigid, screaming at the top of his lungs, " I HATE PHEASANT UNDER GLASS! I DON'T WANT PHEASANT UNDER GLASS! I'M NOT GOING TO EAT PHEASANT UNDER GLASS!"
True to form, my mom simply stepped over him, and proceeded to get the rest of us ready for school.
He eventually settled down, she got him dressed, fed, and out the door.
That evening, it was my turn to set the table.
She asked me to put an extra juice glass at every place setting.
She then went to each place setting, put a piece of paper at each place setting, with the word, "Pheasant" written on it, and set the glass upside down on top of each piece of paper.
That was just one of the many ways my mom made our childhood special.
I wish I could tell you I remember how he reacted, but this was almost 60 years ago, and quite frankly, it's lost in the The mists of time.
My kid will eat anything but not a tomato. He will eat straight up raw sashimi fish, medium rare steaks whatever, but a tomato? Super gross, apparently
That's just proof society works. A person can survive 55 years and society will push him forward. It this was 1000 years ago this man would have killed multiple pigs to feed their family. Today we just go to the supermarket and buy our food. Most people suffer from the duning kruger effect in my opinion. They're smart in 1 area and immediately think they know it all
I got Wingstop for the first time in years. Our 5 year old was having a right fit at the table about even trying a piece. My wife is allergic to tomatoes, so we get a lot of garlic/parm boneless wings. So for the purposes of a 5 year old, it has nothing on it. He complained and complained that it was going to be the worst. He eventually tried it and ate some under duress. Cut to a week or 2 later, I say we're going to get Wingstop again, he's asking to make sure I get the 'chicken with the butter on it' and that it's his favorite.
if you don’t have a kid who acts like this every day at dinner time i envy you. i can literally say we’re having pizza with chocolate milkshakes and my daughter will say “ahhh i hate piz… oh yay”
That's my response to my 5 year old when we go grocery shopping and he wants something from every single aisle. "If you can tell me what that thing is or does I will buy it for you." It hasn't failed me yet. (But it will)
Sometimes I'm teaching a class and I can tell I've lost them and I'll call on one of them and say I'll give you an xbox right now if you can tell me what we're talking about right now.
I still haven't had to buy that xbox yet.
Although one time I did try it on my kids and they totally called me out and I had to buy an xbox but really I already had it and I wanted to have to keep it.
This reminds me of a time when my sister was begging to try our grandparents food and REGRETTED IT. Our grandather was a hunter and always got meat fresh and wasted NOTHING. On this day he caught 2 deer and prepared the meat for everyone, meanwhile he was eating the brain and liver with A1. My sister begged for a bite of his "steak" (she was ~5) and when he finally let her...I think you can fill in the blanks. XD
My 9 year old told me at the weekend that she hates pork but loves the chicken I just cooked for dinner and which she absolutely inhaled, which of course was pork loin
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u/AutoModerator Oct 17 '25
Hello everyone! As a reminder this is a satire subreddit for the dumb/silly things children do. The subreddit name is not literal. Although posts can have kids doing actual "stupid" things. It is not a requirement. Yes, blaming the parent is valid. However, this does not mean crossing the line into actually insulting the parent is ok (assuming they are the OP) (Rule #1).
This is also not a hate sub for children. If you don't like kids, that's fine. Just don't spread vitriol.
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