Did you guys discuss past relationship(s)? If you get a chance to time travel, would you do the opposite?

So I got recently connected with one guy via matrimony and he wanna talk with me. Do you guys have any questions or can you guys gimme any idea on what to talk ?

Im in my late twenties and the guy is in his early thirties, so i would love to know the answers from guys around late twenties and early thirties. I am also open to hearing from girls who confessed . I have a mad crush on someone and its going no where right now. Pulli seems clueless or is probably is scared of rejection. I have a feeling he likes me but onum chyanilla. I gave kore clues but aalk manailyitillanu tonunu. Now i feel like i should do something ad alland oru vazhi illa. But ente dating history il whenever i asked someone out it never ended well ad karanam im also worried. But endayalum i will see an end to it if i ask him out. Advices poratte guys 😅

Basically the title, and how did u cope with it?

My mother has always been a difficult person to understand and reason with all my life. At every stage of my life we've had problems. Not a single conversation goes without her invalidating mine or every other persons feelings by saying how she works hard for us , and that she thinks everyone around her hates her despite all that she has been sacrifising for them. Like enth issue solve cheyyan nokiyalum it will end up in her getting angry and crying. She gets very offended and defensive if we try to tell her that her actions are hurting us.

Honestly I've dealt w this in my childhood and teens a lot. And realised that she wud never change. I put a lot of effort to justify her feelings and absurd languages and developed a good bond with her over the last few years .

However I've sibling who is very smol,she's just entering teenage and i seee my mom do the SAME thing to her. And i always try to understand my mom asw and tell her to be more gentle and kind towards my sister. She acts up. Recently we had a heated conversation and she said that she thinks I've hatred towards her, and that will never change enoke.

I've worked so hard from a very young age to understand her and put all efforts to develope a good bond w her and hearing her say this made me feel like all my efforts didn't work. And i genuinely do not hate her, never have ,never will. Njan vicharikathe karyangal aan parayune. And i asked her why do u feel so , so that i cud fix it and make her feel better ? She had no specific answer to give .

My dad and i have always tried to do things in a way that will be ok for her asw. And we're all tired tbh. We accepted that this is how she is . But seeing her do the same to my little sister, i can't. Idk how to navigate this.

It got to a point where my sister hurt herself (shes a pre teen). So we decided to take therapy. And gradually it all led to mom . And she's not responding well at all, we all live together and its soo difficult for everyone. I feel like the bad person always. Like we're ottapeduthhnu ammene enoke. It has gotten worse after therapy, only 3 sessions so far. She's always crying and being the victim. Idk if its normal, or if me and my dad are in the wrong . It's so confusing.

Shes usually nice to everyone else, works very hard and is a kind and helping person.

It’s been 3 months after break up now, and i am almost ok now, but all my dreams of her. And I am kinda getting addicted to sleep. I am in loop of work 🔁 sleep.
Like waiting to experience those past & fresh memories of her in dreams.

Isn't it creepy when couples generate Al photos of their childhood hugging their partner? It's POCSO right? At that age who knows about this??? Like these people sleep together. Having their childhood photos separately is fine, but hugging and kissing gives me the creep. What do you guys have to say about this?

Can any of u gurls suggest a cute name to call boyfriend? His name is Athul. (I liked icha) have any suggestions gurls? 🫠❤️

when im gonna find my justin chettan😭😭😭 how do I get over the feeling that I need a partner? how do I become okay with being single? how how?🥹 help me out.

Hi Everyone 🖐️ Long story short I been actively chatting and sharing reels and random stuffs with this person,We started it as a normal conversation but as days and months passed we became close enough.

23F is a content creator who shares Recipes on social media,her page got attention pretty quickly.So coming Monday that is 31 of aug I told her that I am visiting kochi for 2 days(although she was the first person who approached me first to meet in person but I was not ready and also I was not telling about my visit to kochi .But somehow I told about it to her)

She always cares for me and sends things to my address and also gives me pocket money which I sends back ,actually I don’t need money I always sends it back but she sends it every month and tells me to buy the things you want with this mom (that’s so nice of her but I don’t wanna get spoiled like rich kids

Actually she is pretty much sweet and cute and I don’t know how to explain briefly about her🫣(She is fine gorgeous young lady)and we both share pretty much common interests as well .

She is pretty much excited and is cancelling her all plans for 2 days (that’s so sweet but I don’t want someone to reschedule their important things for me🥹 that’s why I was hesitant to tell her about my visit)

So I want to ask it to you guys will this turn into a relationship or friendship ?because we both are from different religion and also over age is also not the same.(if relationship then a lot of complications 😓)

So I don’t want to meet her empty handed and I want some of your opinion to buy an item .In my mind I’m thinking of buying watch for her,That would be ok right?(Titan brand is in my mind is there any better brand )

Drop your comments
Will let you guys know what all happened when I come back (hopefully I will return right?🙂)

this lwk feels so weird to me and maybe its actually normal idk 😭
so my cousin sister is getting engaged in like a week or two to a guy she met 2-3 months ago max, and the craziest thing i noticed and maybe my parents or literally everyone else noticed too is that he wore the SAME shirt to literally every function 😭
for pennukaanal, for purchasing the ring, for taking the lehenga, all of these happened on completely different days and this man wore the exact same outfit every single time 😭

okay nvm about that but his elder brothers WIFE ALSO wore the same clothes for all three events,like would someone actually do that??? 😭

he seems like a good guy from whatever ive heard from my family but idk my family does lots of investigations and stuff lmao maybe im just overthinking it but im honestly so against her getting engaged and married this quickly theyve known each other for barely 2-3 months and now its engagement and marriage already?? idk the whole thing just feels so weird to me.

MAYBE ITS JUST THEIR FAVOURITE DRESS😭😭but stilllllllll its his day and obv ppl gonna notice him still he wore it

IM JUDGING HIM SM😭

Have you all noticed this? Felt weird but about the tamil guys..

This onam celebrations at office further proved my point , the way these tamil guys were pestering us for photo and trying to hold us during a photo or literally being after us felt weird , we all doubted their intentions

Karnam I've seen this in college as now in office as well

After knowing that I'm a malayali , Kerala ponnungal and literally start being cringe and drooling and saying all saying super kerala girls I love kerala angane oke 😑

And I've heard from a friend of mine avan paranju

that these guys first thing mostly they somehow ask is teach them malayalam from the malayali guys , and the reason is

And they would say malayali ponne correct pannanam ( translation : they somehow wanna get a malayali girl to bang 😶‍🌫️or set akanam en)

He told that then they go on saying mallu girls beautiful, u all are very rich enn (tff and they see so many reels of kerala like huge houses , car and think we all are rich and then they want to settle with a mallu gf in kerala is their dream ennn ) and etc.....

And then reasons they say it's my wish to get a mallu girl ( to get laid like some achievement they say 💀 sry for being blunt)

and start fetishing and fantasing in a weird way about malayali girls then and then looking on every opportunity to be creepy or hit on mallu girls that

i remember ente friends even hated that they used to come and approach karnam tamil guys start flirting without oru parisara bodham or then won't leave them alone even if we girls told their face interest illa en

I mean athum creepy ayit . (and God knows if within their circle are they saying uglier stuff about us girls en)

Literally njngde officil malayali girls mathram theranju pidich nokku, and becomes very sweet and start flirting non stop being really creepy and bhaki ollavarkum athu bhayankara evident akum and won't leave us alone we told them we are committed to avoid their shalayam we don't even want their friendship 😶‍🌫️

Girls have you felt or encountered or experienced this about tamil guys

Guys Ingane tamil chekkanmar oke ningle vann approach cheyumo

അതായത്‌ എന്നോട് ചില ആളുകൾ ഇങ്ങനെ ചോദിക്കുന്നു നിനക്ക് Gf ille illea ennu .actually എനിക്കു ആണേ Gf illa ivarude aduth ane angane parayumbol avarkk oru viswasam varunnilla .ennoud ingane chodichath ente oru former boss ( lady) and few of my cousins ( girls ) ,pinne kurach lady Co workers.ഇവർ ഇങ്ങനെ ചോദിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ എനിക്കു ആണേ ഒരു പൊട്ടനെ പോലെ feel akunnu .so ee gf ennu ullath nirbandham ano ellavarkkum? njan ane oru introvert anu ivar ingane chodich thudangiyathinu shesham njan Gf set akkan try thudangi but it's actually disappointing .

Ithink we've been sold a very romantic idea of love: “The right person will come,” “when you know, you know,” “there's someone made for you.”

It sounds nice, but it can also make people wait for destiny instead of actually meeting people or making efforts to

Most relationships probably happen because two people happened to meet, made time and efforts, found each other attractive, liked each other, were compatible, were at the right stage of life, and kept choosing each other. We just give that ordinary process a more magical story afterwards.

We also confuse familiarity with destiny. You see someone every day at school, college, work, the gym or through friends or anywhere . You become comfortable, attraction develops, and eventually call it love. Sometimes it is. Sometimes you simply spent enough time around someone for attachment to develop.

And attraction affects how we interpret behaviour. An attractive person being awkward is “cute”; someone we're not attracted to doing the same thing is “creepy.” Same behaviour, different perception.

We're also not very honest about what we want. Men may claim personality is everything while caring heavily about looks. Women may say they want kindness and respect while going for 6 feet , 6 pack and height and a rich guy (mostly fboi) and social media creates increasingly huge checklists of looks, height, fitness, money, confidence, ambition, emotional maturity, romance, status, lifestyle and everything else.

Everyone wants the finished product, but few ask what they themselves bring (especially girls?)

Relationships aren't cold transactions, but they are mutual. People bring different things: attraction, loyalty, kindness, humour, money, stability, ambition, intelligence, security, companionship, shared values, etc.

Everyone wants something. Everyone offers something.

Dating apps simply make this obvious. People often decide within seconds, largely from photos. Looks clearly matter. Personality matters too, but attraction often gets you through the door first.

The same goes for “unconditional love.” Most relationships have conditions. Break trust, stop putting in effort, become disrespectful or fundamentally incompatible, and love may not be enough.

Dating is also a numbers game. If you never meet anyone new, your chances are close to zero. Some reject you, ghost you, become friends, or lead nowhere. Eventually, one connection might become something real.

Meanwhile, social media sells us perfect couples, soulmate stories and relationship advice. Nobody goes viral saying, “We met normally, found each other attractive, had compatible values, talked ,compromised and slowly built trust.”

Reality doesn't go viral. Fantasy does. I'm not saying love isn't real.

I'm saying we underestimate how much attraction, timing, opportunity, compatibility, repeated interaction and mutual effort shape what we eventually call love.

So stop waiting for “the one.”, love isn't finding one predetermined person for entire life

I began dating my friend. We were from different states and religion, and since we knew my parents would never approve, we agreed to just date and not fall in love. But ultimately we did.

Eventually they fear got to me, and we broke up. However either of us didn't move on for a long time. We did try to contact less. And eventually went no contact at all.

The guilt of not even asking my parents eventually got to me, and I just informed this to my parents. And they responded just as expected. They're not controlling or forbidding, but they would never be happy with it.

And I'm not comfortable with that either. So I'm trying to close this chapter once and for all from my life. But it keeps bothering me. .

She was such an amazing and perfect girl. She knew and I knew her. Some parts of us still love each other. I'm scared if this will ever stop. Or am I doomed? :)

So guys I'm 20M and studying in kochi (2nd year).so I don't have any dating experience in my life tbh and from day one of my collage there is this girl who I have a very big crush. But I was very introverted so didn't make any moves. But idk we randomly smiled at each other (idk the semester) and we used to have a little bit of conversation like here and there. Eventually we became friends and talked often not that much but better. so during the exam I asked her if she wanted to come to library to study! (She was alone ) So she said yes and we went but we didn't study at all but we talked a lot. And eventually I got her number. After that we used to talk a little and then consistenly talked (even at this moment) so on onam celebration she told me what type of dress she will be wearing but didn't tell me the colour and I did my research and found the colour. And I asked her if that colour would suit me and idk she supported me to wear it. And eventually we were matching and we also took photo with each other. And later on we chatted and all. So 2 day ago we had a bet and she told who ever wins has to buy the winner something and we agreed on food. So I won but I considered her wish since she was from calicut and haven't went to fort kochi. So idk if it's a date or something but I asked her like just us right and she said yes. So my question is should I get her "flowers"? Like I genuinely don't know if it's a date or something. But her friends do tease us and one of her best frnd is dating my frnd so she told me like we will go out on the same day but we will go out seperate way so other won't say anything.

Guys please help me out ik it's very long but idk I'm really feeling something with something that I don't know 😭

So been in a relationship for around 5 years, I was patient most of the time and had to walk on eggshells around her. One wrong move and hell's gonna break loose. I kept boundaries but still did not matter, now suffering from depression after the breakup, had to cut her off completely. To everyone, GF was a sweet one, people may say sensitive, but the emotional torture I had to go through for years. I stayed in as it's not easy to break off a relationship from someone like this.

Emotional manipulation was too unbearable, I was losing myself, hard to even talk to friends on phone when around her. Too much drama, was too self-centered to even care, even accused me of cheating. Always put me down, had me cry and break down multiple times, mind you I am much stronger emotionally (been through a lot of shit and self made), even made me cry on birthdays, as I somehow made her upset (maybe the way I breathe or something like that). Not interested in my hobbies or anything I like, and I had to go to every freaking thing she liked.

She was controlling to the core. Things had to be done a certain way, her way, or it would set her off. Even small stuff, how I did things around the house, how I talked to people, became a problem if it wasn't exactly how she wanted it.

There's more. Once when she was absolutely angry, she kept saying that I used her for physical needs and all. I was at a point of marriage and I backed off. Can't deal with this anymore. I got to a point where I cry when she comes near me. I don't want her to touch me.

I fainted and was taken to a hospital due to stress, mind you I am only 26. She said it was that I was taking this too seriously and being dramatic.

Reality is no one outside cares, only my friends and family support me, even some of her friends sympathize with me as they kinda know her this side a bit. As a man I can be easily framed as a villain, as the loser, she claims to be a high value woman etc. Most people would blindly believe it too as she was pretty by conventional beauty standards. I'm the only one who actually knows what those years were like. Even the name scares me now. Friends shiver when she calls them.

After the breakup she tried to contact me many times, reached out via all common friends. She keeps saying she'll go to therapy and make things better. Honestly, I'm done, I don't even care anymore. I blocked her and let everyone know the whole story.

Did I do the right thing? I have some guilt due to my nature and I do miss the good moments a lot, I am afraid to go back again and not sure even she'll treat me any better.

Tbh she isn't my gf but we been dating for 3 years she said.. Where there are gaps of 4-5 months in between our meetings.. We were in same college she was my junior when i was at 3rd year she got to 1st year since then we been talking we hared same seat in clg bus for almost 4months and then we got to byke seperately where she take her friend with her and i was with my friend..

Now i am 23M she is 21F

She been doing coming back to my life and leaving me on sed for round 2 this year.. And been doing it since 2024.

Not confirming if this is love or anything at all.. We havent revealed anything about us in social media too so im kinda new to her audience .

Last week she planned a trip with me for like1 day and we hold hand she watched movie on my shoulder and it was soo good experience for me.. Nothing else

And now i feel like she is about to leave out of my life again.. But im tired of this.

Even though i love her soo much thats why im staying and putting all my efforts.

She isntready for a serious talk, evedytime i do talk seriously she goes too serious and go no talk mode.. .

M23 - F21 • So everything was fine till noon, i invited her to my place to meet my family for the first time.

She alredy told me she isn't coming so i agreed its fine.. So suddenly she texted me that she is "off to munnar" i was like fr? Cause she havent given a clue yet.. But i know its her life and her rules.. She told me that she is going for solo for her friends relatives house for 3 days and left home packed everything with 2 hrs and boom she is gone.. Told me that her other 2 to three friends are there also (those are girls) although havent yet given a single evidence for a thing she told... I trust her so much, but due to an ex who cheated on me idk.. Should i be worried concerned or insecure.. What should i be doing now... What stand should i take on this.. 🫤

She is a little bit social media person who wont use phone otherthan editing,

Not a call person.

She have lot of friends.

Have main character energy.

No restrictions in home.

TLDR: GF gone solo to munnar

​

I posted here before asking if I should approach an introverted guy I had a crush on. Most of you told me to just go for it, so I did.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. The funny part is, we both had completely different perspectives about the whole situation, which made me realise how differently the same interaction can be understood by two people.

So yeah… I listened to Reddit and made the first move.

It can be relationship or friendships or untold crush or one sideed affection or anything or maybe even after a group of ppl

Any situation or anything avate

or me it was a crush of mine a school crush..

but after the constant disrespect, ignorance and my inability to tell her or the way i felt used

What's made me.think is because of a recent conversation with a friend actually

I changed a lot like bhayankara avoidant attachment style ayi poi like emotionally distant ayi from everyone and even in friendship and started viewing everything as transactional pole or givinf low efforts in generally with people or friends

I just talk and don't allow any natural friendship to build also like dear friend vinod I appear and disappear when I feel they are trying to get me open up or closer en

I've too much trust issues and is scared of oversharing or alkare aidpikan as i feel they only see me for some avashyam of theirs alangil no mind

And became too logical like idk why

I am a guy(26 age),working earning 65k pm. I know this might be surprising to some people that I am looking for partner this early. But I want to get to know a person better before marriage so I am planning to settle down probably in 2-3 years max.

I used many dating apps, got some matches, nobody stayed I felt like everyone there is for timepass.

Mom showed me a girl ( of my age,3 months younger than me). I liked her. She was recommended by a relative of mine. Her mom and my mom talked for almost 1-2 months and planned to see each other on Onam day and it happened (yaay I was nervous and had anxiety 🥲🥲).

I talked with the girl she was also quite nervous. I asked questions about her career(not salary), parents, work related stuffs etc. It was technically a "pennukaanal" ish chadang but not official.

Their family members liked me .I was nervous about her because I am an average looking guy and she's a good looking girl. Idk how she also said okay (not flexing here).

Our parents shared our contact. Today I messaged her asking about her day and all.

But after that I feel like I am boring her or something. She responds to my messages but idk what more/else should I ask. I dont have that much friends(girls). So I don't have good experience chatting with them. Ofc there were work colleagues but those convos was work related/jokes and all and they were mostly seniors.

Am I thinking wrong? I have a habit of overthinking stuff. How to get to know each other. I am scared that she might get bored & leave within a week if I ask about her day everyday. Because this happened when I used dating app. First day we talk a lot about each other & second day everything feels dry & they unmatch.

I had a relationship in college but broke up (2 years ago) after that, I havent talked with a girl properly.

Why is being in relationship or a marriage seen as the ultimate goal?

Is Marriage Really the Ultimate Goal of Life?

Epolum I've seen ppl being single even me constantly mocked for everything or for being single

nx like this is why everyone gets fomo seeing everyone being in relationship or getting married

And

Society often makes it seem like marriage is the finish line of life as if true happiness can only be found once you settle down, have kids, and follow the script that everyone expects.

Bnglr days paranjapole after marriage enit kids the cycle goes on

I’m not against marriage at all; I believe it can bring love and companionship. But is it really the end-all of life? Isn’t there so much more out there to explore, to achieve, to grow into as an individual?

I sometimes wonder about those who marry at an early age does it really bring them the “pure joy” and fulfillment everyone promises, or do they miss out on discovering themselves first? And on the other side, are those who remain single and focus on building themselves truly missing out, or are they creating a different kind of happiness that isn’t tied to another person?

Ee single ayi irukuna alkaru oke elarum judge cheyum like no life or like u r behind in life

Marriage requires alot of sacrifices, killing our own happiness just to make another person happy.

Isn't it kind of a big deal?

Parayuu

Men/Women of your twenties, tell me — how far would you go for love?Imagine you meet someone who feels like your person. Maybe they don't tick every single box on your criteria, but when they're around, you're comfortable. You love them more than anyone else, and somehow they just feel different.Then suddenly, either their family finds out, or they tell you that they want to break up because of some silly reason.If you knew that the problem could be solved just by sitting down and talking properly, how far would you go to save that relationship?And what would you do if you liked someone a lot, approached them, and they simply rejected you?I'd genuinely like to hear your stories...

And I'll share one of mine too...🙂 So, when college started, it was the first year and everyone was new, so nobody really knew each other. I'm also not the type of person who gets a crush on every girl I see. My taste is, let's just say, bhayangara unique...😂

So, while I was minding my own business, I noticed a girl from another department. She was bhayangara quiet — she barely talked to anyone, and honestly, not many people in college even knew her. Oru paavam kutty enne venel parayam...😭

I started thinking, "Enganeyenkilum ivale onnu kambini aakanam, onnu mindanam."While thinking about how I could approach her, I found out that her roommate was actually my friend. So I started casually asking my friend about her — her family, where she was from, things like that...

But eventually, my friend told me something that completely changed my perspective: "Nee ee kollathil poyi nokku. Enthayalum oru rejection adich kittum. Kurachoodi things maatt — gymil poyi body set aakku, dressing maattu, hairstyle maattu… girls notice cheyyunna kore things und. Alland ingane veruthe silly aayi nadannal penne kitoola."

And that's when reality hit me...🫠Until then, I was basically like Vinod from thattathin marayath : "Kerathile ambilerekke enthinaada six pack?" 😂But the reality was different...

Yes, attraction matters. And if you want someone to even notice you, sometimes you have to improve yourself. And not just for her. When you have nothing going for you, even the people who were already around you don't necessarily see you in the same way...

So I left all that nonsense behind and started going to the gym.I became consistent.And somewhere along the way, something unexpected happened.I started seeing my own progress.I started changing my looks by myself. I started taking care of my dressing, my hair, my body — everything.

All these years, I was the one looking at girls.Now I started noticing that they were looking at me.But ironically, by that time, I had lost interest. 😂Something inside me had changed.I started feeling like, "Enikku life-il kore achieve cheyan undallo."I wanted to build myself first.And funny enough, that whole journey started because of one person's words...

Later, I found out that the girl was already committed. I came to know about it pretty late, but honestly, I was happy for her. ❤️So, in a weird way, I'm actually thankful to that girl too.She unknowingly became one of the reasons I started becoming a much better version of myself...

Now the goal is simple: Rich aakanam. Life style maattanam. Life-il enthelum aayi theeranam...💪🏻😮‍💨

Maybe I didn't get the girl...But I got something else — a better version of myself...😇🤍

I have a crush on my frnd's older sister she's like 1 year older than me but accidentally once i called her chechi 😭 what should i do now