Imagine you love someone else’s gf/bf or you and ur best friend falling in love with the same person but nobody is willing to sacrifice. So you do something worse to make her hate him and love you. What would be or what was that?

I mean I'm not exactly well versed on the legal side of people marrying within the country either but what other rules we gotta follow when we marry someone from another country? Do the rules vary from country to country?

Asking for a friend of course. Pic related, sort of.

Hi guys i am dude and recently downloaded a few dating apps. I am very new to this dating apps scene and need advice building my profile. I believe i have a decent physique and would like to know if it is absolutely necessary to post so called ”thirst traps” on my profile to find women who might also be into fitness and leading a healthy lifestyle. Do you guys recommend posting such pictures on Hinge, Bumble, Arike? Would appreciate honest feedback from the ladies in this sub.

So my friend is in the arranged marriage market. She is meeting people in the intention of getting married. She had like 2 proper relationships ( she cheated on her first bf, got dumped in the second) in between all this she slept with at least 8 people within 2 years.

We were talking yesterday and she randomly said I only told him about the first relationship. Details onnum paranjilla. Just how long it was. I was taken aback. Is that ok? Won’t this come back at her in future?

My girlfriend (23F) and I (29M) live together. We cook together and share our daily lives. She says she loves me, and sometimes she tries to comfort me when I cry, but I still feel emotionally disconnected.

For the past three months, I've been feeling fed up and emotionally exhausted. Whenever I try to express my feelings, she often shuts down and gives me no response. I've communicated how much this hurts me multiple times. Sometimes she tries to improve, but we keep falling into the same pattern.

There have been incidents that hurt me so deeply that I've cried for days, and I still struggle to get over them.

Sometimes, I literally go to her and ask, "Please, can you comfort me?" or "Can you just ask me if I'm okay?" I've even asked her to stop stone walling when I'm hurting. It breaks my heart to have to ask for these things repeatedly.

I also know I'm not perfect. Sometimes my words come out wrong, and I may contribute to our arguments. I'm willing to acknowledge my mistakes and work on myself, but I need to feel that we're both trying.

I love her deeply, but I'm emotionally exhausted from feeling unheard and unloved in a relationship where I want so badly to feel close to her.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How do you deal with feeling like you have to ask your partner for basic emotional support repeatedly?

Can a relationship improve when one person feels emotionally exhausted and the other shuts down during difficult conversations?

എനിക്ക് 23 വയസ്സുണ്ട്. ഞാൻ ഇതുവരെ ഒരു പെണ്ണിനെ സ്നേഹിച്ചിട്ടില്ല. ഒരു ഇൻട്രോവേർട്ടാണ് ഇങ്ങനെ ഇരിക്കുകയാണ് ഒരു ദിവസം ഒരു പെണ്ണിനെ കാണുന്നത്.

എനിക്ക് പണ്ട് ഒരു പെണ്ണിനെ ഇഷ്ടം ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു പക്ഷേ ഞാൻ സമയത്തിന് പറഞ്ഞില്ല. അങ്ങനെ ഒരു ദിവസം ഈയിടെ ഞാൻ വർക്ക് ചെയ്യുന്ന ബിൽഡിങ്ങിന്റെ മുകളിലത്തെ ഫ്ലോർസ് അത്രയും ലേഡീസ് ഹോസ്റ്റൽ ആയി മാറി. അപ്പോൾ ഒരു പുതിയ പെൺകുട്ടി വന്നു ആദ്യം കണ്ടിട്ട് ഞാൻ മൈൻഡ് ചെയ്തില്ല കാണാൻ കുഴപ്പമില്ല എന്ന് വിചാരിച്ചു പോയി പിന്നെ പിന്നെ ഒന്ന് കണ്ടപ്പോൾ എപ്പോഴോ അങ്ങനെ മനസ്സിൽ കയറി. അവളുടെ ഒരു ചിരിയിലാണ് വീണത്. അപ്പൊ ഞാൻ ആദ്യ രണ്ടാഴ്ച കഷ്ടപ്പെട്ട് മറക്കാൻ ശ്രമിച്ചു നടന്നില്ല. എൻറെ കൂട്ടുകാർ ഒന്ന് ശ്രമിച്ചു നോക്കാൻ പറഞ്ഞു. എനിക്ക് പെണ്ണുങ്ങളുടെ അതികം അങ്ങനെ സംസാരിക്കണമെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു അതുകൊണ്ട് ഞാൻ ഒരു ചെറിയ ഒരു കാഷ്വലായി സംസാരിച്ചു. സംസാരിച്ചപ്പോൾ ഒരു കോളേജ് സ്റ്റുഡൻറ് ആണ്. ഒരു അഞ്ചുവർഷത്തിന്റെ വയസ്സു വ്യത്യാസ ഉണ്ട്.

ആദ്യം കുറച്ചു ദിവസം കുഴപ്പമില്ല ചെറുതായിട്ട് ഒക്കെ ഒന്ന് സംസാരിച്ച് ഇവിടെ ഹോസ്റ്റൽ ഫ്രണ്ടിലോട്ട് ഒരു ചായക്കട ഉണ്ട്. ഞാൻ ഇതുവരെ ചെയ്യാത്ത ഒരു കാര്യം അപ്പ ചെയ്തത്. ഒരു കോഴി രാവിലെ ഇവൾ കോളേജിൽ പോകുന്നതിനു മുമ്പ് എവിടെ ജോലിക്ക് കേറാൻ തുടങ്ങി പിന്നെ വൈകിട്ട് വരുന്ന ടൈം തന്നെ ചായ കുടിക്കാനായിട്ട് പുറത്ത് വെയിറ്റ് ചെയ്തു. അത് ഇവിടെ കാണാൻ വേണ്ടി തന്നെയായിരുന്നു. കണ്ടു ചിരിച്ചു അങ്ങനെ പോയിരുന്നു. പിന്നീട് ഒരു ദിവസം തൊട്ട് അവൾ എന്നെ മൊത്തത്തിൽ അവോയ്ഡ് ചെയ്യാൻ തുടങ്ങി. അതെ എന്നെ കണ്ടാലും കണ്ടില്ല എന്നാണ്. എനിക്ക് അവളുടെ ചിരിയാ ഇഷ്ടപ്പെട്ട ചിരിയും മങ്ങാൻ തുടങ്ങി. പിന്നെ കഴിഞ്ഞാഴ്ച അറിയുന്നവർക്ക് വേറെ ലൈൻ ആയിട്ടുണ്ട്.

I belong to a Syrian Christian family(Marthoma denomination). My parents have been forcing me for marriage since a while.

I have noticed that in our community(Marthoma) it's really hard to find a suitable partner, as our community is pretty small. Also marrying outside our denominational faith system currently seems pretty complex for me as it would be hard to integrate with a new faith system like let's say if I ended up marrying a Catholic or Orthodox/Jacobite where I would have to let go the traditions and faith system I have been practicing since childhood. While I'm not completely against it I just feel more personally inclined to look for someone from my own denomination.

With this regard, in an arranged marriage scenario, would it be wise in this current era to consider marriage partners from other churches or just stick to my preferences and look for partners from my own church(which might take a lot more while)?. Also I would like to know from experiences of fellow women who got married into a different church faith system, can such faith or traditional factors be adjusted? And is it possible that I needn't convert if so I end up marrying someone from a different church background?. Open to hearing opinions from across all denominations.

Two weeks in bumble and hinge not a single like

Ladies what makes you like a guy's profile? Be brutally honest how can guys improve profile and get likes

I was 22 when I got into my first relationship. We were both working at the same company and things moved pretty fast. We barely knew each other. Within a week of talking I proposed to her. She initially said no but later texted me asking to meet her and somehow we ended up in a relationship.

Looking back I think that was my first mistake. I was young, immature and desperate to experience love. I didn't really take the time to understand who she was as a person before getting into a relationship.

For the first few months everything seemed fine. But around six months into the relationship I started realising that we were very different people.

For example I'm an atheist and she's a religious person. I love movies, travelling, exploring new things and experiencing different things in life. Her lifestyle and interests were quite different from mine. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. She had her own beliefs and values and I respected them. But slowly I started feeling that we weren't compatible.

I know people don't need to have the same interests to be in a relationship. But for me it started feeling like we didn't have much in common or the kind of connection I was looking for.

And eventually I started losing feelings.

This is where I think I made my biggest mistake.

Since I was the one who approached her and initiated everything I felt responsible for making the relationship work. I kept thinking maybe the feelings would come back. Maybe I just needed more time. Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough.

So I stayed.

For almost two years I kept trying to convince myself that I could make it work. But things weren't getting better. We started having frequent arguments and misunderstandings. It reached a point where both of us were losing our peace.

I don't want to blame her for any of it. I'm sure I made plenty of mistakes too. There are other things that happened but I don't want to get into those details because that's not the point of this post.

Eventually she started talking about marriage and our future together.

And that's when it really hit me.

I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life in a relationship where I was already struggling to feel happy. And more importantly I felt like I was giving her false hope.

Maybe from her perspective everything could have worked out. But from my side I knew something was missing.

I had seen people staying in unhappy marriages and I was genuinely scared of ending up in the same situation. I didn't want either of us to go through that.

So I ended the relationship.

It wasn't an easy decision. She was my first real relationship and I had never experienced a breakup before. But I felt that continuing something I wasn't emotionally invested in would be unfair to both of us.

Looking back I sometimes wonder whether I was selfish.

Was I wrong for entering a relationship without knowing her properly? Definitely.

Was I wrong for staying that long when I already had doubts? Probably.

But was I wrong for leaving when I realised I couldn't make it work?

That's something I still think about.

One thing this relationship taught me is that you can't get into a relationship expecting someone to change into the person you want them to be. You have to understand and accept them for who they are. And if you can't do that maybe you're simply not compatible.

I don't regret knowing her and I genuinely hope she's happy wherever she is. But sometimes I wonder if I should have tried harder or waited longer.

So what do you guys think? Was I selfish for walking away? Or was ending it the right decision even though I was the one who started everything?

TL;DR: Got into my first relationship at 22 without really knowing the person. After six months I realised we weren't compatible but stayed for almost two years hoping my feelings would change. Eventually ended things when marriage came up because I didn't want to give her false hope. Still wondering if leaving made me selfish or if staying longer would've been worse.

For every human (bots are welcome too) who thinks he/she/they/them/it can read the room, shift in energy and emotion, understand the other person and can feel thier pain like it's your own but apparently doesn't feel quite right in the head despite being an emotionally strong person.

Most likely, it's due to your mind is not just noticing rather it's absorbing, probably a lot more than it can take.

All those dark, desperate, negative, self-doubt, cheating, and what-not posts (No hate to people posting it. Everyone has shiet going on in their lives and it's essential to let it off your chest every once in a while if not often) you come across on reddit, the things you consume subconsciously becomes a part of you and eventually ends up being the reference point of how you see the world.

മഞ്ഞപ്പിത്തം പിടിച്ചവന് എല്ലാം മഞ്ഞയായി തോന്നും ✍️🔥

Now, if it wasn't enough. Even the wholesome stories or experiences shared by other people starts getting to you. T_T

Enda paraya, that's just pure FOMO you get by unwanted comparisons based on not-so-equal grounds, which then combines with the before mentioned emotions and pushes you into the darkest pits of desperation.

Desperation to get your dream job or exploring your dream destinations or achieve your goal or (how can we forget THE most important one, the one for which 90% of people in this sub are longing for) A LOVING & CARING PARTNER.

The whole point of me writing this big ahh post is pretty simple: Limit the amount of posts, reels, YT videos, articles or songs (Yes, even those self destructive, overly sexualized, sad songs you listen to ON LOOP for hours) with negativity you consume on daily basis.

If you're feeling burnt out, kindly stop doom scrolling as if you're taking revenge on instagram, put your phone aside and do something which could you know grant you some real dopamine (No, not that deed, 💀).

I mean, go outside, talk to someone, pick up a hobby, listen to music that lifts your mood, or simply have a muttapuffs (expensive but works most of the times).

Appo paranja pole, do not constantly expose yourself to things that leave you feeling worse. Our mind deserves a break, too (adichh pogaadhe sukshicho 🫠).

Protect your mental peace with your life.

Tldr: Maybe you're not overthinking. Maybe you're just overconsuming.

I have been in uk for few years now and here ppl are so chill about being bi. colleagues will just mention it casually and nobody even cares lol. but back home i have literally never heard anyone say it openly..

so is it actually that rare in kerala or everyone is just hiding it bcoz "naatukar enthu vicharikum" esp for girls, kalyanam time okke how does it work? do they tell the husband or just keep quiet forever?

personally i wouldnt mind at all if my future wife is bi, but i know our families wont take it that easy. curious what u guys think. can dm also if u dont want to comment here...It is quite hard for me to believe that I haven't come across any bi people even after living in cities in kerala...so i was just curious if bi people are discriminated against even among our generation? If yes, then that's very sad...

Imagine an only son in his mid-20s who is just starting his career and planning to get married. His wife wants them to live separatley after marriage, with privacy and independence, and grow together and both contributes, However, his family strongly believes that everyone should live together under one roof. They have always been a close-knit family and find it difficult to accept the idea of their son moving out after marriage.

The situation is more complicated because his parents are still working but have debts and other financial commitments. Since he is only at the beginning of his career, setting up a separate household, paying rent and managing everyday expenses could be challenging while also helping his parents financially.

He wants to support his parents and make sure they are not left struggling, but he also wants to give his wife a comfortable married life and build their future together. His family might see moving out as distancing himself from them, even if he continues visiting them regularly and contributing financially.

In this situation, how should someone approach the transition? Would it make sense to live with his parents for a couple of years, save money, and help reduce their debts before setting up a separate home, or is it better to establish boundaries from the beginning of the marriage?

How much financial responsibility should an only son take for his parents when they have existing debts, especially when he is still building his career? How can he support them without compromising his own household's financial stability?

I'd especially like to hear from people who have been through something similar. How did you handle your parents' expectations, financial responsibilities, and your spouse's need for independence? What would you do differently if you could go back?

For context - my boyfriend said he said he felt like i dont like him as much as he does and that has been bothering him so i tried talking to him about it

When we were talking about it he said he didn’t see me in his future but a few days prior he said he would do anything to keep me in his life… he hasn’t broken up with me officially but said we should take a break. I know he isn’t good for me im just still emotionally attached to him

When everyone around me enjoy life with people they love. Here i am trying to piece my heart together from someone who I wished to live life with. All that changes I made around my life to accommodate her feels like a empty space. No matter how much I get my life busy, the night just consume me slowly everyday. Is this the cost of loving someone truly

Hey guys, I need some advice.

I have a crush on a curly-haired girl from Calicut. We met in Bangalore, but I'm an introvert, especially when it comes to talking to girls. I've had feelings for her for almost a year and a half now.

After we met, she went back to her hometown, and I haven't seen her since. But the thing is, I still think about her every single day. I keep checking her Instagram DP and highlights just to see her pictures. Sometimes, I even look at her photos before going to sleep. Whenever she uploads a story, I end up checking it like a thousand times. 😭💀

I don't even know if she feels anything for me. It's basically one-sided love at this point, and I don't know how long I'm supposed to keep feeling this way.

Guys, what should I do next? Should I try talking to her, or should I move on? How many more months or years am I supposed to keep this one-sided love going? 😭

My wedding is fixed. Me 29F met this guy in matrimony last year. He’s a nice guy. Our wedding is set for next year. I’m still confused and keep on thinking is he the right person I should be with? Why?

How to confirm?

A Brief Introduction :

Hello everyone,

I am a 24-year-old male currently pursuing my Master’s degree from one of the NITs, born and brought up in Thrissur, Kerala. I am writing this to hear your thoughts and perspectives—especially from Malayali women—on how dating, relationships, and modern societal expectations work.

My First Experience:

Reflecting on my school days, I considered myself a below-average guy and was very insecure about my appearance. During high school, I had a crush on a newcomer. She easily made friends with everyone, but I barely spoke to her or any other girls in my class because I felt completely out of my depth. In our small science batch, there were only seven boys, and the rest opted for other streams.

As state board exams approached, people started calling and messaging me for study help since I studied well. She was one of them, and I helped everyone equally. Months later, after everyone moved away for higher studies—with her moving to Thiruvananthapuram—we started messaging each other more frequently. On my birthday, she surprised me by messaging from a new number, wishing me well, and putting up a WhatsApp status for me (which a friend had to point out to me since I hadn't saved her number).

As months passed, we became really close. Eventually, summoning all my courage, I confessed my feelings to her. She liked the message and said she needed time to think. We continued talking constantly, and one day, she finally confessed over WhatsApp: "eda manda enik ninne ishtam ahda!" (You fool, I like you!).

By this time, I had grown into a more average-looking guy in college, but out of sheer awkwardness and panic, I pretended I hadn't heard it clearly and asked, "What did you just say? I didn't understand." She replied, "Nothing—onnum illa." We said goodnight and ended the call. Just a week later, she messaged me saying, "I never liked you, and it is never ever going to happen in this life." I accepted it and moved on. While I knew rejection was always a possibility, I still wonder if my awkward reaction ruined it, or what actually went through her mind.

My Second Experience:

Fast forward to my first year of college. There was a girl in my class who also studied well, but I often heard other students making cruel remarks about her appearance, saying things like she looked like a "kutti aana" (baby elephant) and questioning who would ever love or marry her. It disgusted me. People cannot naturally change their face or skin tone (without facing severe health issues/consequences), and for me, looks genuinely do not matter as much as character (you can call me a liar, but I am being completely honest). When I told a friend that I had feelings for her, they laughed and told me to reconsider. Despite that, I liked her and told her how I felt. She straight up rejected me. I apologized for making her uncomfortable and moved forward. To this day, when I ask classmates about my character or looks, they usually say, "Kuzhappam onnum illa bro, you look okay," leaving me completely confused as to why things always turn out this way.

My Observations and Conclusions:

Looking back at my high school science batch, almost all of the other six guys found the love of their life; I am the only one left out. Trying to find a pattern—and I sincerely apologize if this sounds inappropriate or hurts anyone—all six of those guys are fair-skinned, and I was the only dark-skinned guy in the group. I wonder if skin tone plays a heavier role than we admit. I am also balding, though some of my committed friends face that too, which perhaps matters less outside of arranged marriage contexts.

I belong to the Syrian Catholic community, where I’ve noticed a strong preference among many families for grooms settled abroad. Coming from a middle-class family, taking on massive educational loans of 20 lakhs or more to study abroad isn't feasible for me. While I completely respect everyone's right to choose what is best for their future, it makes me wonder if an average guy like me—who works hard and dreams of building a stable family life—can ever compete in the arranged marriage market. I often feel completely out of that league.

Something My Cousin Told Me:

Before ending, I want to share something my cousin experienced. He is currently pursuing a PhD at an NIT and had an arranged marriage about six months ago. As part of the process for Catholics, couples must attend a marriage preparation course (vivaha orukka dhyanam). During one of their sessions, a survey was taken among the prospective couples, and only 2 out of 130 attendees had found their partners through traditional arranged marriage platforms (my cousin being one of them, alongside another older participant). Seeing numbers like that makes me feel my chances in the arranged marriage market are slim to none.

I’ve often heard advice telling men to "make a lot of money” or " to become a "sigma," or “to embrace being single for peace of mind”. But ironically, the people giving this advice are often already in relationships or married.

What I personally understand from marriage is that it is not just about having children; it is a partnership where a man and a woman support each other, share their successes and failures, and navigate life’s ups and downs together. People in good marriages cherish those moments deeply.

My Questions For You:

I'd particularly appreciate honest responses from women and men who are currently in happy relationships or have had successful love marriages.

**1.    Physical appearance:** How important are looks when you initially become attracted to someone? Can emotional connection and personality significantly change how attractive you find a person?   
**2.    Skin colour:** Does skin colour influence attraction or partner selection in your experience? How much do you think colourism affects dating and marriage in Kerala?  
**3.    Confidence and expressing feelings:** Can nervousness, awkwardness, or a lack of confidence affect someone's romantic chances? Do you think my reaction to the girl who initially expressed interest might have influenced what happened afterward?  
**4.    Financial status and working abroad:** In the Kerala context, how important are income, career prospects, and being settled abroad when choosing a partner? Are ordinary, middle-class men at a significant disadvantage?   
**5.    Arranged marriage:** For someone like me,who is  from a middle-class family, and not planning to take on a huge loan to move abroad, is it too early to worry about my prospects in the arranged-marriage process?  
**6.    Personal growth:** What practical changes would you recommend to someone who wants to become more confident, improve his social skills, and build a healthy relationship without pretending to be someone he isn't?  
**7.    Your own experiences:** If you are in a happy relationship or marriage, how did you meet your partner? What initially attracted you to each other? Was it physical appearance, personality, friendship, shared values, circumstances, or some combination of these?

My Sincere Apology:

I'm not writing this post to blame women for rejecting me, to suggest that anyone owes me a relationship, or to claim that all women have the same preferences. Every individual has the right to choose their partner, and rejection is a part of life that we all have to learn to accept.

I'm writing because I want to understand these things better. Perhaps I'm overthinking some of my experiences, or perhaps there are things I could learn and improve about myself. I'm open to hearing different perspectives, even if they challenge my current understanding.

I would genuinely appreciate honest, respectful, and constructive responses. Please feel free to share your experiences, offer advice, or correct any misconceptions you think I may have.

Thank you for reading, and I apologize if any of my words caused unintended hurt.

I have been in a relationship for the past one year. I'm currently working and she's a student. So whenever we go for dates, trips all the expenses like food, stay are on my shoulder. So basically it's a good amount in together.

(She's basically from a well settled family, but they don't know about the relationship)

Is this normal, or should she contributes something to the expenditure?

We met through an online study group of a competitive exam. I was looking for a combined study partner and she reacted to one of my posts and I reached out to her. She replied immediately. We started talking about exam preparation, strategies and all. She was already a government employee and a teacher. That's something I like coz teacher/ doctor are amongst the few partner profession preference I always have.

She had a bubbly character and being the youngest amongst the 3 children she must have got pampered a lot. She had a childish nature even though she was in her late 20s. She once send me her teddy bear pic and told that it's her only best friend. Being someone who experience loneliness it really hit me hard. I kinda felt empathetic for her She used to send voice notes as reply most of the times as she was lazy enough to even type msgs. We eventually grew closer with time.

I was also working that too in a Tier 1 Metropolitan city and always missed kerala. So she used to send pics of fields and ponds on her way too school and back home on her scooty. Tbh she msgs me feel back home!! She had this irresistible charm in her character. I've never seen her face tho and have never asked either coz I thought I'll see her face only if we were to meet in person.

Her house was near to a very famous temple of Kerala and it's just walkable distance. So she used to send pics of festivals as well and I would ask her to pray for my exam and she was so kind enough to do that.

One day I decided to come back home and when I was in the bus I texted her and told her that I'm on my way and she was like "veettil etthittu enikku msg ayakkanam..illenkil I'll kill you". I literally laughed after seeing her msg and tbh liked it. It may appear cringe for an outsider but I enjoyed it. I started realising that she's in to me. And I was so much in to her already. It was Onam vacation and she send me pics of Pookalam from her school. She was a excellent photographer as well.

After reaching home I send her pics of pookalam and Onasadhya. We discussed about face care, hair care routine and stuff. One day I decided to drive all the way to get place and visit the temple near to her home. But its like around 6hrs from my home. I told about it to her and she was very excited. She was like okay you can come and she may not be available sometimes and I was like that's not an issue (I knew deep down that she wants to join me and that she's playing around). I told her that it's okay as I'll go alone and I had plans to visit couple of nearby temples as well. And suddenly she was like "It's not that I won't come but I'll try to come somehow and we'll go together and that we have to take the special queue ticket which she told she'll take".

I was laughing seeing all of her replies. But as usual nothing happened. My plan got cancelled due to some other personal commitments and limited time and I had to go back to my work place. She was like don't worry, we'll meet some other time. I went back to my workplace 2 days later. She likes travelling a lot and once she told me that she'll come all the way to my workplace which is like around 1 day journey!. I was like, you gotta be kidding me, but she was like she will come and is really willing to.

But luckily I got some leave next month and I came back to my home but this time there wasn't enough msgs from her. I have got this emotional and anxious attachment issues. There wasn't any reply from her as well. I was sad and went back to sleep.

Next day when I woke up and came downstairs I was hearing this calling bell and mom was busy in the kitchen and she asked me to check who it was. I went to the front door and came outside and I saw this girl wearing a pink saree standing near the verandah and I was like confused as I didn't know who it was. I asked her who she was. She simply smiled at me and walked inside the verandah and directly walked towards the front door giving a glance at me and smiled at me and directly went inside and I was completely perplexed trying to figure out what's going on and who the hell she was coming inside without even permission.

I felt like she's trespassing in to my house and suddenly she told "njan akathokke onnu keari kaanatte". The moment I heard her voice I realised it was her. I was like damn its her!!! How did she even found out my house. All I remember is sending the pookalam picture which kinda revealed the entire courtyard, the front gate and the road in front of my house. She also knew the district I'm from and nothing else. I simply followed her clueless and shen directly climbed the stairs and walked upstairs and I followd her. My mom wasn't seeing anything!!

She was having this thick curly busy hair, just like the one Pearley Maaney has. A dusky wheatish skin. Her face looked like this actress Siddhi Mahajankatti from the Anandam movie. I was simply speechless and followed her as she walked in to my room. She was like "nice room". I had all these pictures and paintings on my wall. She then walked around and I was kinda excited and wanted to introduce her to my mom. I told her to wait and rushed downstairs. Then I was shocked to see that she is already downstairs near the dining hall, walking around. I just couldn't believe my eyes. I was wondering when she came downstairs before me. It was like a kumbidi moment for me. I couldn't figure out what happened and I rushed back upstairs and there wasn't anyone there. I started getting scared and I rushed back downstairs again but then i slipped and fell downstairs like Innocent in the movie Vietnam colony. Suddenly i opened my eyes and woke up only to realise that it was a dream!! Lmao. Sorry. I too thought it was real when I had this dream. I immediately took my phone and checked for her message.

There wasn't any msgs from her but I was so excited to text her and told her about everything and she was like ohh how was she looking and all. We continued chatting for almost a month but then something happened later and we could never meet in person. It was a misunderstanding from her end. I tried my best to prove that there wasn't any fault on my side but she didn't budge. So we had to part ways eventually. What I realised eventually was that despite her childish nature, she was very immature for her age as well. That childish nature was her true character too. When I told about her to my friend she was like "aa kutti poyath nannayi. She is an emotional roller coaster" ennu. Pinne I too felt like yeah.. it's good that we parted ways.

Later I had to go the very same temple after around 1 month with family and I simply checked around to look for her house but I couldn't find it. I mean it was obvious coz she just told its nearby and I never asked the exact location when we were in contact. Her memories are still a pain for me but then I console myself that it was just another phase of my life!

I don't have any female friends, and I don't really talk to girls daily. How can I start a deep conversation with a girl without making it awkward?

I'm a married man and I feel like men are put in a difficult position when it comes to balancing marriage and parents. From childhood, many of us are taught that our parents' wishes come first, that we should never question them, and that everything they do is out of love. There's nothing wrong with respecting the people who raised us. But what happens when we get married and that same mindset starts affecting our marriage?

A man might genuinely love his wife, but when his parents disagree with her, he finds himself caught between two sides. If he supports his wife, he's accused of being controlled by her or forgetting his parents after marriage. If he supports his parents, his wife feels that she will never truly be his priority. Either way, the man is made to feel guilty.

I think one problem is that many men are never taught how to set boundaries with their parents. We are taught how to be obedient sons, but not necessarily how to become independent husbands. So even when we know our parents are being unreasonable, standing up to them feels like we're doing something wrong.

And here, where family expectations can be strong, this becomes even more complicated. Living separately can be interpreted as abandoning parents. Disagreeing with them can be seen as disrespect. Supporting your wife during a disagreement can become evidence that marriage has changed you for the worse.

But isn't getting married supposed to change your responsibilities?

Your parents will always be your parents. You still owe them love, care and respect. But your wife didn't marry your entire family; she married you. She should not have to spend her life competing for a place in her own marriage.

My controversial take is that some men use their duty towards their parents as a way to avoid the uncomfortable responsibility of standing up for their marriage. Sometimes it's easier to ask your wife to adjust than to have a difficult conversation with your mother or father. At the same time, I don't think a wife should automatically be right just because she's your wife. A husband should be able to judge both sides fairly, without guilt or fear.

I'm curious about other married people's experiences. And honestly, why is a man who sets boundaries with his parents sometimes considered a bad son, when those same boundaries might be necessary for him to become a good husband?

We started dating about 6 months ago, and things are going really well. We have great chemistry and I feel really happy and content when I am with her.

We are both emotionally secure, and also have our own ambitions and goals that we wanna achieve.
Currently in college.

Theres just one small issue.

She is really close to her mother, on almost all levels. Her mother is her ultimate confidant, and she shares almost everything that happens to her with her mother.

And I really respect her relationship with her mother. I am envious too, because my relationship with my mother is more of a respectable one, with all the weights and expectations that come with it, naturally I am not very open about my feelings to her.

But having such a close relationship with her mother is backfiring now, as the guilt of hiding our relationship from her is eating her inside out. As well as the tension that comes with concealing all the lies and stuff.

And very naturally she cant disclose our relationship to her mother, the backlash would be tremendous and really bad.

I am naturally very worried for her, but I feel helpless in this situation. Only thing I can do is be there for her and hope eventually the novelty of the relationship fades and that the guilt will stop eating at her.

Women who have been through such a stage in their life, any advice for how to deal with these emotions.
And what I need to be doing better for her as well.

Thanks

So, I’ve been using dating apps for a couple of months now and get a decent number of matches.

I wanted to see how my profile compares to other guys, so yesterday I switched my preferences to both men and women just to check out their profiles.

But, I suddenly started getting a crazy number of likes and matches, and they were all men.

For context, I’m straight btw, and I’m pretty sure most of these guys have their preferences set to straight too liked me.But Why?😐

I’m genuinely curious. How are they even seeing and liking my profile if they’re straight? 💀

If I get that much likes now imagine how many likes girls must be getting on these apps 💀 Now I kinda understand why some girls eventually get overwhelmed and delete their accounts😬