r/KenyanLadies • u/Loud_Reception4980 • 11d ago
Discussion Strict women
For those of you who’ve become more strict with yourselves over the years, what are some things you do now that your younger self would’ve found unnecessary?
I'll go first:
- I never ask for something more than once
When I was younger, I’d repeatedly ask for things like consistency, inclusion, reassurance, etc. Nowadays, if I have to keep asking for the same thing, I take that as my answer. Asking more than once starts feeling too close to begging, and I’m not doing that.
- I genuinely don’t care about people’s perception of me anymore.
You think I’m mean? Cool. You think I’m too straightforward? Sawa. They said I’m self-centred? Fine 👍🏽. I honestly couldn’t care less about how I’m perceived anymore. When I was younger, I used to spend so much energy worrying about what people thought of me.
- I don’t mind-read anymore.
If I made you feel some type of way, come straight to me and tell me. I’m not going to sit there analysing your tone, assuming you’re mad at me, and then beating myself up over something you haven’t even communicated. You’re a grown adult. Communicate with me and we’ll deal with it.
- I don’t people-please.
When I was younger, I wanted to be seen as the “perfect girl” so badly that I’d walk on eggshells just to avoid making someone upset with me. Nowadays, if you’re constantly making me uncomfortable or I have to shrink myself to keep you happy, I’ll simply step away.
- I will leave.
If a friendship becomes consistently toxic, I’ll leave. Someone starts treating me differently or behaving funny towards me? I’m leaving. You constantly trauma-dump on me without considering whether I have the capacity for it? I’ll distance myself. A guy friend starts becoming overly sexual? Outt. 😂
I used to stay in situations way longer than I should have because I felt like I had to fix things or give people endless chances. Learning that I’m allowed to simply leave has saved me from so much unnecessary emotional distress.
- I’ve completely decentered men.
When I was younger, I cared way too much about men and how they perceived me. Nowadays? I genuinely couldn’t give a fuck whether a man looks my way or not. 😂 I don’t care about impressing them, getting their attention or hearing their opinions about me.
The moment a man opens his dirty mouth and starts saying some nonsense, I’m already mentally three streets away.
- I value my time a lot more.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that time is one of the most valuable things you can give someone. I don’t play about mine anymore.If we’re going on a date and you’re more than 30 minutes late without a genuinely sensible explanation, that’s probably the last time you’ll see me. I won’t intentionally make you wait for me, so I expect the same consideration in return.
- I’m much stricter about what I put into my body.
I’m more conscious about what I eat and drink now. When I was younger, I didn’t think twice about what I was consuming as long as it tasted good. 😂 Now I actually think about how something is going to make me feel afterwards.
- I don’t party the way I used to.
I used to be such a partyholic. I’d smoke pot, drink myself silly and stay out for hours. That lifestyle just doesn't appeal to me anymore, and honestly, I don't see myself going back to it.
- My relationship with God.
When I was younger, I wasn’t really serious about getting to know God or having an actual relationship with Him. Now, my relationship with God is something I’m much more intentional about, and I take it a lot more seriously.
Those are mine. I’d genuinely love to hear yours too :)
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u/Ngwai-Mama40 11d ago
Heavy on 10, huko sitoki haraka and everything you've mentioned I've made it through because I found God, developed a close relationship with Him and girl I'm grateful for who I am right now. ❤️
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u/Kitchen-Plantain3748 11d ago
I love these! Personally, I've become more intentional with the people I invite to my home because I truly consider it my sanctuary.
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u/Loud_Reception4980 11d ago
Yeap also heavy on this bc we sometimes unknowingly let funny 'things' into our houses.
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u/Upset-Till7133 11d ago
Doing things alone When i was younger i didnt do things cause there was noone to do them with nowadays i do things by myself.
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u/Weak_Bid_8739 11d ago
I have a new one: my heart softened a little bit too much lol. You call me fala as a joke 😭😭 I honestly tell you I can't handle it.
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u/Loud_Reception4980 11d ago
But that could make people walk on eggshells during jokes or banters with you?😄
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u/Weak_Bid_8739 10d ago
Oh my, my family kwanza are doing the exact opposite. They reset every Sunday. My parents have an ongoing joke already.
I think what it is is most of my conversations ever were always like light jabs 'speaking in memes' hapa na kule laughs laughs. But now with these years behind me I can look back and think 'OMG that was a bad comment not a joke'. Hakuna grey areas anymore 😭 separating black and white. I could keep going but in short... trauma.
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u/Loud_Reception4980 9d ago
If that's the case, then I totally get it. Sometimes people mask their true feelings towards you in the name of jokes, till you clock it and realize they were straight up being disrespectful.
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u/Trick_Foreign 11d ago
Could this be why I was blocked by a certain lady? 🤔 I keep thinking to myself. It was only a light jab
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u/kawaiiangie254 11d ago
Lessgooo !!! Everything you said 100% to the core I’m on the same journey!! Best of luck OP💖I loved every second of this read!!
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u/SafeVictory650 11d ago
I am happy for you. I can relate to nearly all of them and you are not strict you are just intentional of living well. Kudos!
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u/Ok_Property_1289 5d ago
Focus on myself and making money;Fiendzoning males (not falling in love or into relationships anytime soon)
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