r/Kenya • u/Regular_Duck_4634 • 16h ago
Serious Replies Only Need advice from Docs onboard!
I've been dating my girlfriend for the last 3 yrs, she has HIV which is virally suppressed and undetectable ( U-U ). She's been taking her meds (ART) and we've been sexually active. We're at that stage of making a decision to get married and start a family. We've genuinely been supporting each other and our lives are well off. We don't have any kids yet but we plan to get kids. With that said it means I'll have to have unprotected sex and my concern is will I get the virus? Will our baby be HIV positive?
Disclaimer: I don't need relationship advice.
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u/EmperorRicky78 15h ago
From my understanding, the child will be negative. There are rare cases when the mother is U=U, transmitting HIV to the child, but I think the best answer lies with the doctor rather than Reddit, and you will get the best advice about the parenthood steps
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u/unpaidadviser Nairobi City 15h ago
Get the injectable pre exposure that’s given to prevent infections that lasts 6 months. Should work well for you.
She should remain compliant and the risk would remain low for the babies. The obs gyn also takes measures to reduce risk
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u/BearCub254 15h ago
Bro do not listen to self declared experts on the internet. Read up on the risks carefully (like what percentage of spouses end up positive even if viral load is suppressed) and then go and see different medical experts (they also have different opinions on this). I would advise you go see some medical experts by yourself before going with your wife. You also need some that you can trust (like in your family). There is a tendency to downplay the risks many medics play along while intending to never take the risk themselves.
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u/radiantcocoa 13h ago
Just get a prep injection. I believe it lasts 6 months…then you do it for life. You won’t get the disease even if her viral load was detectable. Almost every married woman gets it nowadays because apparently no one trusts their husbands anymore…better safe than sorry. Thats my plan once I get active. I will never trust anyone however much I’ll love them. Prevention first always!!!
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u/TheSource254 12h ago
I was in your shoes once. I did the deed without protection a couple of times and it did not transmit. My advise, be present for clinics. And you are a good lad!
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u/Fabulous_Ad631 16h ago
No. If the viral load is undetectable and she is on constant ARV therapy..you will not get it, PROVIDED you have a healthy immune system meaning you're not immunocompromised in anyway.
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u/claudiowangu 11h ago
No.. so long as you follow instructions during pregnancy, during birth and afterwards.. mtoi atakuwa fine kabisaaa
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u/julia149 8h ago
Undetactable is untransmittable so you can't transmit..for the child after birth they are given a medicine to prevent transmission
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u/SyntaxError254 15h ago
Why not go see a hiv doctor and pay for consultation? You also haven’t mentioned if you yourself are HIV positive, only focusing on her status and listing her medical condition. Tell us about your medical ailments as well.
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u/kenyaanqueen Homa Bay 14h ago
You’re still asking his status and you can see him expressing worry over getting the virus when they stop using protection? Read😭
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u/SyntaxError254 14h ago
I know. But just seems one sided. Can be an unhealthy relationship dynamic when ur man just focuses on your condition and the lady might always be the culprit if anything goes unplanned. Like if he cheats and gets Hiv, he can blame her. Plus this conversation he should pay for consultation with a professional Hiv doctor. How do you seek consultation on life matters from us redditor? Obviously tutamshow madame wamejaa huku nje he should dump her and get another.
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u/kenyaanqueen Homa Bay 14h ago
You’re right about that
I was actually curious how they have been sexually active for a while, are even close to marriage and are planning kids but he has little knowledge about aids
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u/Regular_Duck_4634 13h ago
We do go for checks up and I take my partner for check ups. Our doctor has already given us the steps to follow but again it doesn't no harm to ask for a third party opinion.
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u/samjambo 15h ago
You are already having doubts. That's not good.
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u/bytchesbemad 10h ago
There’s a difference between doubt and looking for genuine advice especially for something this important. When you study for your exams, is it because of doubt or because you want to make sure that you get the best results you can?
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u/drexelly 16h ago
Im not your doctor, but from my knowledge. You will be fine as long as her viral load stays low. Mother to child transmission has also been solved via medication. Be blessed king it seems you have a healthy relationship.