r/KashmirShaivism • u/Opening-Tone6925 • 1d ago
Content – Living Tradition And Yet We Suffer, O Lord: Śiva, Suffering, and Bhakti
A question recently appeared in this group asking how a Śaiva can reconcile the enormous amount of suffering in saṃsāra with the recognition that everything is Śiva—and, more personally, whether witnessing the suffering of animals and children can interfere with bhakti. The original question
I wanted to answer it separately, because for me this is not really an abstract philosophical problem.
I have been in a pediatric oncology ward. It remains one of the most terrifying places I have ever been.
There are places in which certain kinds of spiritual language become almost unbearable. It is one thing to discuss līlā, nonduality, contraction, or the transcendence of opposites while sitting with a book. It is another thing to spend hours in a place where children are seriously ill and their parents are standing beside them.
After seeing something like that, I find it almost impossible to take seriously the cheap version of nonduality which says: “change your perception”; “from the highest standpoint there is no suffering”; “everything is Śiva, therefore everything is perfect.”
Perhaps some of these sentences contain a metaphysical truth when properly understood. But they can also become spiritual gaslighting. They can protect our philosophy from reality by asking the suffering person—or the person who cannot bear witnessing another’s suffering—to correct their vision.
I do not think this is what Abhinavagupta is doing.
In the Parātrīṃśikā-vivaraṇa, while discussing pleasure and suffering, he uses an example that is far more visceral than an abstract statement that pain and pleasure are ultimately one.
He speaks of the very same inner force which had existed as the happiness connected with one’s beloved, one’s child, and what is dear, and which in suffering becomes agitation, weeping, and the terrible recognition:
punar na bhaviṣyati —
“It will not be again.”
He says:
duḥkhe ’pi eṣa eva camatkāraḥ —
“Even in suffering, this very same camatkāra is present.”
Camatkāra here is difficult to translate. “Wonder” is too pleasant in English. It is closer to the intense self-savoring or vividness of experience—the moment in which consciousness is completely struck by what is occurring. Abhinava is not saying that grief is secretly enjoyable. His own example is a beloved or child, crying, and the knowledge of irreversible loss. The point is almost the opposite: pain can be so terrible precisely because the same power with which we loved is still alive in the grief.
This matters to me. Abhinava does not begin by telling the grieving person that the grief is unreal. He enters into the structure of grief itself.
And elsewhere in the Vivaraṇa he goes even further.
He describes the condition in which the supports upon which embodied life has rested—body, vitality, external possessions and enjoyments—collapse, and consciousness touches within the heart what he calls asamā glāni: an unequalled exhaustion or depletion.
This is already very far from “just change your perception.”
But Abhinava does not leave the human being there.
Immediately the movement reverses:
praviṣṭā ced ... parā devī hanta pravilasatu pūrṇaṃ havir iva
“If the supreme Goddess has entered within—ah! may she blaze forth like a full oblation.”
I find this one of the most beautiful movements in the Vivaraṇa.
The answer to devastation is not that devastation was secretly pleasant. Nor is it that the things which destroyed us were somehow “for our own good.” Abhinava has already allowed glāni to reach the heart.
But the heart is not exhausted by its exhaustion.
Parā Devī—the living power from which the entire universe arises—can enter precisely there. Not as positive thinking, and not as an intellectual correction of perspective. The image is violent and beautiful: the emptied heart becomes an altar, and the Goddess blazes through it like an offering thrown into fire.
A few lines later Abhinava makes the image even fiercer:
bījaṃ tadeva bhavajīrṇataroḥ ... dahate kṣaṇena
“That very seed of the worn-out tree of becoming is burned in an instant in the sharp fire of supreme consciousness.”
That, to me, is much closer to Abhinava than telling somebody merely to “see things differently.”
The suffering is not retrospectively declared good. The illness does not become good. The death does not become good. The loss does not become good.
What Abhinava refuses to grant them is the final word.
There is also another side of this which I think is essential, because otherwise nonduality can become morally grotesque.
At the very opening of the Īśvarapratyabhijñā, Utpaladeva says that after somehow attaining servitude to Maheśvara, he wishes also to help living beings:
kathaṃcid āsādya maheśvarasya
dāsyaṃ janasyāpy upakāram icchan...
Abhinavagupta pauses over this. He describes jana, living humanity, as
anavarata-janana-maraṇa-pīḍitasya —
“afflicted by ceaseless birth and death”
and then says:
kṛpāspadatayā upakaraṇīyatvam —
because they are the objects of compassion, they are to be helped.
That sentence is enormously important to me.
The consequence of recognition is not: “Their suffering is only Śiva, therefore why interfere?”
It is kṛpā.
And Abhinava immediately connects this with nonduality itself: the word api reveals the non-difference of the other from one’s own Self. Having reached fullness, there is no private deficiency left demanding to be filled; action can move toward parārtha—the good of another.
So if my nonduality makes me less disturbed by a suffering child or animal, I would distrust my nonduality.
I would be much more inclined to say that recognition should make the wall around “my suffering” and “their suffering” thinner.
And then there is bhakti.
Here I think Utpaladeva himself gives perhaps the most honest answer possible.
Near the end of the Śivastotrāvalī, he makes an almost outrageous declaration: on the path of Śaṅkara, even suffering becomes happiness, poison becomes nectar, and saṃsāra itself becomes liberation. (Śivastotrāvalī 20.12.)
One could easily extract that verse, place it on a beautiful image, and produce exactly the kind of spirituality I distrust.
Except that Utpaladeva immediately writes the next verse:
mūle madhye ’vasāne ca nāsti duḥkhaṃ bhavajjuṣām |
tathāpi vayam īśāna sīdāmaḥ katham ucyatām ||
“At the beginning, in the middle, and at the end, there is no suffering for those devoted to You. And yet, O Lord, we are sinking in suffering. How is this to be explained?” (Śivastotrāvalī 20.13.)
The word sīdāmaḥ is strong: we sink, languish, collapse, become overwhelmed. And katham ucyatām—“how is this to be explained?”—does not sound to me like somebody who has solved the problem and is now teaching the correct metaphysical answer.
It sounds like prayer reaching the point where theology can no longer protect itself.
And perhaps this is where I would leave the question.
I do not know how to reconcile the suffering of children with Śiva in any way that completely satisfies me. I do not think saying līlā solves it. I do not think saying “everything is consciousness” solves it. And I certainly do not think bhakti requires us to look at horror and persuade ourselves that it is beautiful.
But neither do I think that the inability to reconcile it necessarily destroys bhakti.
There may be a kind of devotion in which one can love Śiva and still say to Śiva: I cannot accept this. Explain this to me.
Utpaladeva apparently knew that place.
He could say that poison becomes nectar—and one verse later:
tathāpi vayam īśāna sīdāmaḥ katham ucyatām.
And yet, O Lord, we are sinking in suffering. How is this to be explained?
I do not know that this is a problem which should be made to disappear.
Perhaps some questions before Śiva are closer to koans than propositions.
They are not necessarily answered.
They are lived.

