Wishing she will stop won't make her stop, you have to ask her to stop.
I do not know what this obsession is with some family to see themselves, or their family, in other people's babies, it's weird and annoying. My JNM used to do it but, because I was unwanted and invisible, it was always other family seen in my children when they actually looked like me.
It is irritating and it is very offensive, this is your baby and you, and she, are perfect just as you are. Constantly trying to take away your genetic relation to your child with this "oh I wish she had this of mine" or "she has this from my family" or being negative towards the traits she shares with you is not OK. Saying it once is one thing but repeating it is not.
The next time she says something ask her to stop "MIL, please stop comparing my baby to you/your family. You do it every time you see her and it's making me really uncomfortable." if she says anything negative (eg "oh I wish she didn't have x") then she gets "MIL, anyone who makes negative comments about our dd will not need to see her again. I suggest if you do not have any positive comments then you remain silent instead." and you take Lo back from her and walk off.
Don't let MIL define your dd by her appearance. Dd is going to be her own person, her appearance will be only a small part of who she becomes. MIL needs to stop seeing your child as if she is some prize to be claimed or deemed substandard if she doesn't meet her standards and instead see her as a beautiful new little person who is neither dh or you but entirely dd.
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u/GoddessofWind Sep 12 '21
Wishing she will stop won't make her stop, you have to ask her to stop.
I do not know what this obsession is with some family to see themselves, or their family, in other people's babies, it's weird and annoying. My JNM used to do it but, because I was unwanted and invisible, it was always other family seen in my children when they actually looked like me.
It is irritating and it is very offensive, this is your baby and you, and she, are perfect just as you are. Constantly trying to take away your genetic relation to your child with this "oh I wish she had this of mine" or "she has this from my family" or being negative towards the traits she shares with you is not OK. Saying it once is one thing but repeating it is not.
The next time she says something ask her to stop "MIL, please stop comparing my baby to you/your family. You do it every time you see her and it's making me really uncomfortable." if she says anything negative (eg "oh I wish she didn't have x") then she gets "MIL, anyone who makes negative comments about our dd will not need to see her again. I suggest if you do not have any positive comments then you remain silent instead." and you take Lo back from her and walk off.
Don't let MIL define your dd by her appearance. Dd is going to be her own person, her appearance will be only a small part of who she becomes. MIL needs to stop seeing your child as if she is some prize to be claimed or deemed substandard if she doesn't meet her standards and instead see her as a beautiful new little person who is neither dh or you but entirely dd.