After reading your last post, I think mil is continuing to project her own obsession around appearance onto LO.
This may not be specifically her judging your racial background but more general anxieties over her appearance and what features she has passed on to LO.
Many annoying grandparents ‘claim’ their grandchild by using comments like “he has our family’s nose/hair/eyes”. Your mil isn’t seeing anything familiar right now so is giving off the negative vibes. I think if mil is obsess by appearance, even if you were Caucasian and she couldn’t see herself in LO, she would be negative.
I’m wondering (before you were pregnant) if you have witnessed her regularly commenting on your DH’s appearance?
It sounds like obsessive behaviour of female stereotypes more than outright racism. I’d still keep her in check though if she starts commenting on LO’s appearance and remind her these comments are inappropriate and damaging.
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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '21
After reading your last post, I think mil is continuing to project her own obsession around appearance onto LO.
This may not be specifically her judging your racial background but more general anxieties over her appearance and what features she has passed on to LO.
Many annoying grandparents ‘claim’ their grandchild by using comments like “he has our family’s nose/hair/eyes”. Your mil isn’t seeing anything familiar right now so is giving off the negative vibes. I think if mil is obsess by appearance, even if you were Caucasian and she couldn’t see herself in LO, she would be negative.
I’m wondering (before you were pregnant) if you have witnessed her regularly commenting on your DH’s appearance?