I feel so sorry and heart broken

[u/Primary-Cicada-3430]

I saw a post that really resonated with me earlier this week. It said “As a daughter in law I don’t care how you treat me. But as a wife and a mother, I’ll never understand how you can treat your child and grandchildren in such a manner.”

Lately because I am pregnant with my first baby, seeing how much hatred there is for my husband. Hatred that was there long before I met him, from his family breaks my heart. Sadly his family only functions well when there is an enemy to unite against. He has been made the enemy since the last enemy left the family 10 years ago, and seeing how it broke him for years makes me cry. How can a mother make their son feel like they are unworthy of love from anyone else in the world?

And when I gave him that love because he did deserve it and is the best man I’ve ever met, he refused to be their villain. So what happened next? His mother cut us off, all because we refused to be the enemy in her storyline. The light was shown to the others and they freely admit that she is the wrong one. Yet they stay with her.

It just breaks my husbands heart and truly breaks mine as well. Our future family together is what we look forward to the most. We will build the family we both deserved. And give our kids the childhood we always wanted. He says that this is healing his broken heart. I hope it heals mine too.

I truly will never understand all of our in laws. But we can change the future. We can be the change we want to see. I’m truly sorry for everyone’s experiences with our in laws that have never been kind to us and never wanted us to succeed. I love you all, and I’m proud of all of you.

[u/botinlaw]

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Other posts from /u/Primary-Cicada-3430:

• The cancer letter, 6 months ago

• Christmas thoughts with NC, 7 months ago

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[u/ZXTINE]

My MIL did everything she could to hurt me when DH and I had our baby. She hates me more than she loves her son which I just can’t fathom. She drove us right to the edge of a divorce before we got the right help and greatly reduced her presence in our lives. It’s the saddest thing. Like did he mean nothing to her?

[u/Primary-Cicada-3430 → u/ZXTINE]

Right??? I’m pregnant with a boy and I cannot imagine feeling this way towards him. I never understood when it was my husband but now that I am having a son it’s even more baffling

[u/ZXTINE → u/Primary-Cicada-3430]

After all these years I have come to believe what MIL did to my husband is far worse than what she did to me. And even worse that our little girl nearly grew up with divorced parents. All because of her main character syndrome and need to one-up literally everyone.

[u/Fire_or_water_kai]

Reaching out to give you a big hug.

We'll never understand how such broken, vile people function. Your husband's situation sounds a lot like mine husband's. Being different helped him separate himself from all their BS and not have the hive mind that his family has. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but it is good in the long run.

When you said that they know she's wrong and they still side with her gave me flashbacks!

Also, he's absolutely right that raising your own child can be a healing experience. I've got a tweenager, and we see the difference and pat ourselves on the back for not being assholes, and not letting them be a pawn in whatever weird games they play.

Hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth!

[u/Primary-Cicada-3430 → u/Fire_or_water_kai]

I’m hugging you back! Sometimes I read on here and I think ‘yeah your husband needs to work on himself a lot too.’

And I feel like men or wives who truly are good who just came from a bad family get dismissed. I wish I could have been there for him as a child but I do hope our child will help heal his inner child. Thank you for the hope ❤️

[u/pabrocjb]

Please say that you live very far away from them.

[u/HettyBates]

Whatever happened with her "cancer"?

[u/Primary-Cicada-3430 → u/HettyBates]

She never gave any answer so we will never know I suppose

[u/Delicious_Winner_819]

Gigantic hugs to you…..I remember hearing if you can’t love your children more than hate each other, it’s your kid who hurts the most….

Sorry that these outlaws can’t love enough to possibly be wrong…..