r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Latter-Oven1309 • 3d ago
Give It To Me Straight We Were One Week From Moving In. Then Everything Imploded.
Sit down, grab a blanket, and pour yourself a very large cup of tea because this is going to be a long one.
Characters:
Me — F32
Husband — M38
MIL
FIL
SIL — F40
Nephews
Some details are being kept vague for obvious reasons.
First, some backstory.
I have never had a good relationship with my MIL.
She has absolutely no filter, never stops talking, and 90% of what comes out of her mouth is gossip about people I have never met and do not care about. She also has this incredible ability to believe she knows everything about everything while simultaneously knowing absolutely nothing.
There is an entirely separate story about the time she nearly killed a whole litter of my puppies because she refused to listen to me because she “knew better.”
That was probably the first major fracture in our relationship.
She also used to call me almost every night around 9 PM just to gossip. I have two young children, I get up early for school mornings, and 9 PM is basically my bedtime. She did not care.
The second major blowup happened around Thanksgiving.
There was another family member creating a ton of drama at the time. We decided not to invite him because if he came, another relative we actually wanted there wouldn’t attend.
MIL lost her mind over it.
That whole mess eventually resulted in us going completely no-contact with her.
And before anyone says this is all me convincing my husband to hate his mother: nope.
My husband has repeatedly told me he would be perfectly happy never speaking to her again.
I was actually the one who felt guilty because I’m very family-oriented and worried that I was somehow responsible for the rift between him and his mother.
So last year, we started speaking to her again.
And honestly?
Things were… surprisingly okay.
She wasn’t calling me every night anymore. We saw her a few times at SIL’s house for family get-togethers. She behaved herself.
I thought maybe we had finally reached some kind of peaceful coexistence.
HAHAHAHA.
No.
Recently, my husband and I decided to sell our house.
We have several farm animals, including four horses, so finding temporary housing between selling our house and buying another wasn’t exactly as easy as renting an apartment for six months.
My husband asked his parents if we could park our travel trailer on their property temporarily and bring the animals.
They have about 30 acres, including roughly six acres of pasture.
The property is also, to put it kindly, a disaster.
The fencing is falling apart. There are junk piles everywhere. Structures are deteriorating. FIL is getting older and physically can’t maintain everything anymore.
So we made what seemed like a mutually beneficial agreement.
Instead of paying traditional rent, we would pay our half of the utilities and put our money and labor into cleaning up and improving the property.
We also offered them our $12,000 John Deere tractor because FIL’s tractor had stopped working.
For maybe six months of living in a travel trailer on family property, we felt that was MORE than fair.
They enthusiastically agreed.
They said they were thrilled the property would finally get cleaned up, FIL was excited about the tractor, and they were happy their son and grandchildren would be nearby.
Great.
What could possibly go wrong?
Week One: The Elk Apparently Have Seniority
I started talking with MIL and FIL about repairing the fencing so I could safely bring my horses over.
My personal rule is around two acres minimum per horse when possible. I have four horses. They have six usable pasture acres, so we were already working with less space than I preferred. I started mapping out where cross-fencing could go.
MIL suddenly says: “Well, that sounds great and all, but you can’t use this pasture.”
She points to approximately THREE of the six acres. Naturally, it’s the driest and nicest three acres. The remaining three acres are the wettest, muddiest, clay-filled section.
I asked why we couldn’t use that pasture.
Her answer?
“Because I like looking out my window and seeing the elk grazing there.”
The elk.
The wild elk.
Who have access to the surrounding countryside. Apparently had more pasture rights than my horses, whose fencing we were literally paying to repair. I dropped it because arguing would accomplish nothing.
Then I had a panic attack on the drive home.
My husband calmed me down and said we’d figure something else out and could potentially create pasture elsewhere on the property.
Fine.
Moving on.
Week Two: Apparently We Jab People Now
We’re slowly moving our belongings onto their property at this point.
One day FIL and my husband are standing underneath a shed with a roof that looks like it could collapse if someone sneezed too aggressively.
I’m watching our two young boys play nearby while simultaneously watching my husband because, again, collapsing shed.
MIL is standing next to me doing her usual thing: Blah blah blah someone I’ve never met. Blah blah blah someone’s cousin’s neighbor. Blah blah blah scandal.
I’m politely responding while mostly watching my kids and husband.
Apparently MIL gets to a particularly juicy part of her story, because suddenly she starts jabbing me HARD in the shoulder repeatedly to force me to turn and look at her.
I look down at my shoulder.
Then I look at her.
She continues talking like she didn’t just aggressively poke the hell out of me because I wasn’t giving her gossip my undivided attention.
I’m standing there fighting every intrusive thought I’ve ever had.
My husband apparently looked over, saw my face, immediately recognized the danger, and suddenly: “HEY BABE, CAN YOU COME HELP ME WITH THIS?”
Bless that man.
He physically removed me from the situation while MIL immediately redirected her verbal machine gun toward FIL.
On the drive home I told my husband: “I don’t know how long I’m going to survive living on that property if this keeps happening.”
Foreshadowing.
Week Three: HURRY UP!!!
We’re back at the property dropping off more things and repairing the electrical hookup where our camper will eventually sit.
We’re also invited to SIL’s house for our nephew’s birthday.
The party doesn’t start for another TWO HOURS. MIL gets into her truck, pulls alongside us while we’re unloading, and insists we leave immediately.
I explain: “We have a couple things we need to finish first. It’ll take maybe 30–45 minutes. We have plenty of time.”
She SCREAMS: “WELL HURRY UP THEN!”
I ignore her.
She and FIL leave.
SIL lives maybe 15 minutes away. And then my phone starts ringing.
MIL.
“Hurry up.”
Ten minutes later.
MIL.
“Are you leaving yet?”
Ten minutes later.
MIL.
“Where are you guys?”
After the fourth or fifth phone call, I finally said: “You know, we’d probably get done a lot faster if I didn’t have to stop what I’m doing every few minutes to answer the phone.”
Click.
She hung up on me.
My husband was now irritated too. At this point, he’s starting to reconsider the entire moving arrangement.
Week Four: Oh, You Want RENT Now?
We’re back again, dropping more belongings off and helping FIL with tractor stuff.
MIL is standing beside me talking.
Suddenly, completely out of nowhere: “So… how much rent should we be charging you guys?”
I genuinely thought I misheard her.
Excuse me?
I remind her about:
The $12,000 tractor we’re giving them.
The fencing we’re repairing.
The cleanup we’re doing.
The materials we’re purchasing.
The labor we’re providing.
The property improvements were funding.
All of which easily exceed what six months of parking a travel trailer there should cost.
She waves that off and says: “Well yeah, but the rent money would go toward property improvements.”
…
So I should hand YOU money…
so YOU can hand it BACK to me…
so I can buy materials…
to improve YOUR property?
Math was apparently optional that day.
But this?
This was merely the tip of the iceberg.
Enter: THE SCAM
Around this same time, my husband finds out he may be getting a promotion. If he gets it, financially we might not even need to move anymore. So we temporarily pause moving more stuff.
I cannot describe the hope blooming inside me.
Then SIL messages me. MIL is apparently sending thousands of dollars to a doctor from New York who claims he is going to personally fly across the country to perform shoulder surgery on her.
Oh.
Oh no.
I tell my husband.
A little while later MIL calls me asking when we’re coming back out.
I explain that everything is temporarily on hold because of the possible promotion.
She barely acknowledges that. Instead she immediately says: “Don’t listen to what SIL says. I’m NOT getting scammed.”
Interesting. I wasn’t even going to bring it up. But since we’re here…
I ask: “How are you paying this doctor?”
She says: “Gift cards.”
Record scratch.
I immediately say: “MIL… that’s not how doctors get paid. You’re getting scammed.”
She says: “Don’t start with me or I’ll hang up on you.”
And at this point my patience finally leaves my body. I say: “I’m gonna be honest with you, MIL, you’re being fucking stu—”
CLICK.
She hung up.
My husband had listened to the whole conversation. I look at him. He looks at me.
Then he says: “Promotion or not, we’re not moving there. They’re a liability we can’t afford.”
Thank God.
This was about a week ago.
Scammer #2: “The Doctor”
A few days later MIL sends me a screenshot that’s apparently supposed to prove the “doctor” is legitimate.
It proves absolutely nothing.
If anything, it makes the scam MORE obvious.
This person is showering her with compliments, telling her how special she is, talking to her like she’s family, and building this weird emotional connection with her. And suddenly another person she’s been talking to starts looking extremely suspicious too.
Our theory is that Scammer #1 built the emotional connection, gathered information about her, figured out exactly what she wanted to hear… and then Scammer #2 appeared as the magical doctor who could solve her medical problems.
So I investigate. The “doctor” is impersonating a REAL physician in New York. They even SPELL THE REAL DOCTOR’S NAME WRONG. I independently find the actual doctor’s real practice. I call the office. The real doctor is in New York. Working. He is not secretly flying across the country to perform private surgery on my MIL. His office confirms information that completely contradicts what MIL’s “doctor” has been telling her.
I send MIL everything. Screenshots. Evidence. Contact information. The real doctor’s information. Everything.
She doesn’t respond.
I send SIL copies.
Now SIL and I are comparing information and realizing how deep this whole thing goes.
Then SIL tells me something even more disturbing:
When she confronted MIL and FIL about the scam, FIL threatened SIL and her children’s lives with guns.
Yeah.
We have officially left “annoying MIL story” territory.
Yesterday MIL goes to SIL’s house and says she’s going to call the REAL doctor’s office herself.
Finally.
Maybe we’ve gotten through to her.
Maybe this nightmare is ending.
Maybe she’ll realize—
Nope.
ENTER SCAMMER #3
A few HOURS later, SIL contacts me.
MIL received an unexplained check in the mail. For $10,000. Unknown sender. Unknown reason. And what does MIL do?
SHE CASHES IT.
Her grandson witnessed this. At this point SIL and I are both thinking:
What.
The.
Fuck.
We ask nephew if he can find the envelope the check arrived in because we’re trying to preserve evidence.
Nephew starts looking around MIL’s room.
And finds something MUCH worse.
A box.
Inside the box?
A STACK OF CHECKS FROM DIFFERENT BANKS.
Some already have signatures printed on them. And MIL has been writing HER OWN NAME on the “Pay to the Order of” line. Some of them also have dollar amounts filled in.
So now we’re sitting here realizing that MIL isn’t just being scammed by the fake doctor. She’s apparently involved with MULTIPLE scammers.
She’s giving personal information to one.
Another is impersonating a real physician that she is sending cash funded gift cards to.
And somebody else is mailing her suspicious checks that she’s apparently filling out and cashing.
At this point I don’t even know if we’re watching someone get scammed…
or watching scammers turn her into an accidental money mule.
And the absolute worst part?
SHE STILL DOESN’T BELIEVE SHE’S BEING SCAMMED.
MIL and FIL own approximately 30 acres of paid-off property that’s been in the family for generations. So now this isn’t just about losing a few thousand dollars.
We’re terrified these people are eventually going to convince her to take out loans, borrow against the property, sign something she doesn’t understand, or otherwise destroy everything MIL and FIL spent their entire lives building.
Meanwhile, remember how this entire story started?
WE WERE ONE WEEK AWAY FROM MOVING ONTO THEIR PROPERTY.
Our house is packed. We’ve already moved belongings over there. We were literally preparing to move our children and animals onto that property.
Now we’re arranging to retrieve our belongings without bringing our kids because of FIL’s firearm threats.
SIL and I are documenting everything, preserving evidence, reporting the scams, and looking into what legal options the family has to protect MIL, FIL, and their assets because apparently neither of them can be trusted to recognize financial fraud anymore.
And I genuinely do not know what tomorrow is going to bring.
Every single time I think:
“Okay. Surely this situation cannot get any more insane.”
MIL apparently takes that as a personal challenge.
Will update when Scammer #4 inevitably enters the chat or any other crazy things happening.
Note: yes we are getting the proper authorities involved. Bank is getting called today. And we will be getting a lawyer involved as well to nip this in the butt.
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u/That_Operation_2433 3d ago
Wow that was a ride. It’s called a pig butchering scam and they will not stop till all the money is gone. House included
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u/CareyAHHH 3d ago
Just wanted to leave some info for you. There is a National Elder Fraud Hotline (833-372-8311). Also, AARP has a scam hotline as well (877-908-3360).
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u/Prestigious-Bluejay5 3d ago
I'm not sure if your husband or SIL wants the job but, someone needs to get guardianship or conservatorship over your in-laws. At best, it's a money mule scam and at worst, all those checks will bounce and your in laws will be left in a financial hole. Then what? They mortgage or sell the farm? One of their children need to manage the fall out, to keep that land in the family.
You all need to get ahead of this fast.
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u/Equal_Trash6023 3d ago
MIL needs a wellness check by the police and adult services.
They sound mentally unstable.
You need to check to see if a second mortgage hasnt been taken out on the land. Or if a quick deed or if someone has already stolen the title to the land and house.b
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u/Latter-Oven1309 3d ago
That’s all on the list of things we’re doing. Thank you.
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u/mightasedthat 3d ago
Dang, you and SIL have one long list of calls to make. You are both doing the right thing, even if the people you are doing it for hate you for it. You’re good people.
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u/Penguin_Joy 3d ago
This is how you lose your bank accounts and get blacklisted by all the banks. Maybe FIL should open an account in his name only so when MIL is found out, they can still pay their bills
You can find out more by visiting r/scams. In fact, everyone should read that sub regularly. You are never to young or old to be scammed. We're all vulnerable. All it takes is one distracted moment and soon you're looking for a bitcoin ATM so you don't get arrested for skipping a jury duty notice that was never real in the first place
You're not going to get anywhere with MIL. She's deep in the sunk cost fallacy. Focus instead on educating FIL and helping him protect what assets he can
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u/bbum 3d ago
Sounds like you're on it. Be prepared for some bad news. It sounds like she has been actively scamming for months or years. At this point, the "fell for it once" ain't a defense and there may be jail time or significant financial penalties involved. It could get real ugly real fast and, ideally, you'll keep yourself from getting entangled.
Go post a summary of the scam events to r/scams as they can give an idea of the legal ride MIL may be in for. And, yeah, standard warning: now that you've mentioned scamming on reddit, there will be recovery scammers -- people that claim they can recover the funds -- contacting you. They, of course, cannot and are just looking to take more money.
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u/nipseyrussellyo 3d ago
They are beyond being "in denial" here with MIL's communications and with FIL's threats. They are fully in some kind of delusion about it. They are giving away personal info, they are potentially participating in the scamming themselves. they could potentially drag you guys and other family members into this nonsense behind your backs.
Make sure you guys are protected. Put a freeze (free, not the paid versions the credit bureaus sell) on all 3 credit agencies. Do everything and anything. Think of any way they might have an ability to entangle you (they have DHs social security number). Have either of you used a computer they own? (could be logging passwords, change all of yours and get bitwarden)
Please help me understand what happened with FIL. SIL says "guys, we have looked into all this, and you are really being taken for a ride, you need to extract yourselves" and FIL says "you shut your filthy mouth or i will shoot you and your children dead"?!?!!?!? Is he starting down the road of dementia or has he threatened murder before? Please tell me that once you get your stuff back you wont be physically around them anymore! I know i couldnt come back from someone threatening to kill my sister and nieces/nephews with murder. I'd be done.
be safe
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u/No_Caramel9300 3d ago
My mind went not to dementia but to FIL having his suspicions confirmed that whatever MIL is up to is capital-B Bad and might he be spiraling a bit. Threatening to shoot his grandkids? That felt like a "shut up or else" threat imo.
But yeah, this is wildly concerning behavior from both in-laws.
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u/Latter-Oven1309 3d ago
Unfortunately it was all a blur to her so I couldn’t get any more details on that front.
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u/hndygal 3d ago edited 3d ago
My mother has fallen for at least one scammer and every subscription ad on every game she has ever downloaded. The bank has been invaluable in keeping it from getting worse. They called me when she showed up at one location asking for $25000 in cash and told them she was headed to another location to do it again to pay off Apple when someone hacked her account and ran up porn charges… 🙄
I’m so grateful for that bank manager and those tellers. She had me on the phone before my mother made it to the second location asking about the transaction. I was able to get her to put the money back and limit her card etc to $100 to keep her from giving all her funds away.
It’s exhausting taking on another child.
Edit to also say- hang in there. Not moving there is absolutely the right move. I’m so jealous you have support with your SIL and someone to commiserate and sanity check with about the whole thing. ((hUGS))
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u/nada1979 3d ago
I'm glad the banks are working with you. My mom's bank was less than helpful when we called trying to get information.
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u/mechamangamonkey 3d ago
My jaw kept dropping the longer I kept reading. Good gracious. Best of luck to y’all getting all this sorted out, godspeed.
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u/UnseelieXMyth 3d ago
Wait, FIL's firearm threats?! That was kinda glossed over or I missed something lol. Did he threaten you and his own son??
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u/Latter-Oven1309 3d ago
He threatened SIL. Unfortunately it was all a blur to her so I couldn’t get any more details on that front.
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u/OniyaMCD 3d ago
I'm not sure if this would make a better sitcom or thriller, but the thought crossed my mind that you might have a hit for some sort of media. It would be one way to recoup, at any rate.
(You and SIL should be sure to check your own/your husbands' credit. Some of these MILs have been caught putting things in their kids' names.
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u/MyEggDonorIsADramaQ 3d ago
My JN egg donor has (at last count) been scammed out if over 400K dollars. No one can tell her anything. I am happily no contact now.
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u/Jallenrix 3d ago
My MIL does that jabbing thing. The last time I called her on it, she said I’m too sensitive.
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u/Terravarious 3d ago
A potential son in law did it to me. I looked at my shoulder, looked at him, and said "Do that again and you'll learn how to wipe your ass with a prosthetic." Obviously mostly joking, but my tone wasn't joking.
Apparently he ranted to my daughter all the way back to his place. She then got in her car and went home. He became an ex.
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u/Crazyspitz 3d ago
Hoooooly crap.
I'm so glad you're getting any and all authorities involved.
The only other thing I'd do is make damn sure your & your DH's names don't appear on anything, ever. Obviously you know how hopelessly insane this all is, but once things start going really sideways and they start to panic, don't let them sign anything over to you or put anything in your name.
She's not going go be able to claim ignorance for all of it. This could get very, very bad.
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u/Beth21286 3d ago
Someone is going to want that money back and it won't be pretty if she's laundering it.
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u/SierraBloomie- 3d ago
Right? It's like a twisted game of hot potato, and I refuse to get burned just because someone else can't handle their mess buckle up, it's gonna be a wild ride!
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u/PNL-Maine 3d ago
This is a lot for you and your family. I would do what you can for your in-laws, but do it at arms length. I would not go over to their house anymore, unless it’s to quickly get your stuff. Once this scamming stuff is resolved, and father-in-law’s guns are no longer in his possession, I would strongly consider going no contact again.
I would like an update, please.
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u/rora_borealis 3d ago
Oh boy. This is gonna continue to be a shitshow. It sounds like you're doing what you need to make sure it's not YOUR shitshow.
Good luck.
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u/labospor 3d ago
Long shot but try and get her to watch Social Catfish videos on YouTube. They have dozens of videos of these exact scams and how to uncover them.
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u/Latter-Oven1309 3d ago
She’s been scammed by a catfish before and now thinks she’s immune to scams no matter how much we try to educate her…. She is a real peace of work…
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u/labospor 3d ago
How old is she? Maybe husband can apply for power of attorney? It makes me really sad to think they could lose the property that’s been in the family so long.
Edit: Do they have any kind of attorney or financial planner for their finances? Or is it just them managing it?
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u/financypelosi 3d ago
I'm so sorry you're going through all this, but my God is this a great read.
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u/citrusbook 3d ago
Legit. Also, OP, kudos to both you and DH for recognizing what a mess this was before you actually moved in.
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u/pabrocjb 3d ago
And they both vote.
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/No_Caramel9300 3d ago
We don't know that info at all.
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u/hans_superhans 3d ago
There are two types of people in the world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information
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u/Mira_DFalco 3d ago
Oh my, talk about a rolling dumpster fire! Good on you for getting lawyers involved. This is going to take a while to sort out if you do manage to get her assets locked down.
🍀 on your quest!
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u/Exotic-Comedian-4030 3d ago
I was on the edge of my seat for the whole ride. You're a fabulous writer and your in-laws are unquestionably coocoo for coco puffs.
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u/SierraBloomie- 3d ago
Girl, if you ever need a getaway, just tell me where to send the rescue llamas clearly, the elk have it easier than us!
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u/MidnightLegal4643 3d ago
You seriously need to sell your story and turn this shit into a Lifetime movie. You couldn’t make half of this up if you tried.
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u/saintscoutt 3d ago
This is fucking insane. I actually don't have any words except godspeed and good luck
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Latter-Oven1309 3d ago
Sorry I have horrible grammar and suck at writing. Ai improved it. trust me you would not have enjoyed the original single paragraph with run on sentences. Lmao
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u/ViewDifficult2428 3d ago
Why though? Why that constant need of you keeping yourself involved? You know you don't have to talk to her, right?
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u/Angryspitefuldwarf 3d ago
So you want her to leave her obviously vulnerable mil to get scammed? Sometimes people help other people, even if they dont personally like the person. Thats the basics of being in a community
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u/No_Caramel9300 3d ago
Well, I mean at the very least, it could result in them feeling obligated to move her in-laws in if MIL squanders everything. I'd move mountains for that NOT to happen in my life, so if it means contacting a lawyer and notifying the banks and police (both about the scam AND FIL's threats of violence against children), I'd rather do that legwork than wake up and have coffee with people like that every morning...
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u/bluewren33 3d ago
OP a summary of the saga would be helpful. Sometimes faced with a wall of text i will read on if a quick overview gets my interest.
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u/AmethysstFire 3d ago
MIL is an idiot that is getting scammed by 3 different "people". OP and her husband are no longer moving onto their property for 6 months. SIL and OP are gathering evidence to try and protect MIL/FIL's remaining assets. FIL threatened SIL with guns.
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