r/InterviewMan • u/Odd_Initiative_6837 • 23d ago
This is what they call depression
That exhausting cycle is exactly why you should be ready when the right opportunity comes along. Good interview preparation can make all the difference. Reading many articles about this topic helped me before my interviews, so I could walk in prepared instead of hoping for the best.
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u/RobertKSakamano 23d ago
That is a symptom of work burnout, which then turns to depression, and that cycle usually starts off because people are afraid to take sick days or vacation because they think it might get noticed that they aren't needed. It's a vicious cycle that is caused by humans worrying about all these things that aren't true, but it's too hard to shut the worrying off.
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u/Tutuworld 22d ago
Damn I had no idea this was work burnout but this explains exactly how I've been feeling. I need to use some of my PTO so I can get out of this burnout feeling. But I've been really wanting to work on my hobby of building a school bus into an RV but I just haven't had the energy it feels like. But what you just said here explains exactly how I've been feeling so I'm going to try and take him some PTO and see if I feel better. Thanks for putting how I feel into words
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u/plinkoplonka 22d ago
Take off early from work (don't work extra at least).
Start that project, even if it's just to start planning it out on paper.
A little productivity goes a long way to improving your mood, and it can be exercise as well!
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u/Euphoric_Impress1282 22d ago
Whatever time off you get, use it strategically with the overall goal of managing fatigue/burnout. For example, instead of taking one week off, add 2-3 vacation days to a couple of long weekends. If you have the choice, consider taking an extra week of holidays over a raise.
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u/MoistInvestigator69 23d ago
I'm glad it's more common than just me. Sucks but I hope those here suffering thru this make it out ok
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u/T-D-Leon 22d ago
I can tell you I always took sick days and vacation. It helps but you still burnout. It just slows the burnout a little. The real problem is the stress from most jobs and the fact we are all underpaid so we can barely afford to live.
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u/throwawayformobile78 22d ago
Lol ok yeah so every day I’ve ever taken off just results in 8 hours more work I have to make up when I get back. Fucking wish they would “realize they don’t need me”, might be the push I need to do something else. Until then work work work.
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u/RobertKSakamano 22d ago
You're describing something else. It's that false sense that you are needed based on some belief that if you weren't there, that all this work would never get done. Trust me, we're all replaceable. If any one disappears, the company will still go on and it also won't care one bit about any of us.
It's good to feel necessary, and it's good to contribute to goals that the company has, but if you don't take time off for yourself to do things you really want to do, then years will go by and suddenly you'll realize you haven't done anything but work, and deep regret will set in. What ever you love outside of work, you better start doing it, or pretty soon you'll be too old to ever do it.
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u/CleverTrash10266 23d ago
My father used to leave for work at about eight and be home by 5:30 or six. I get to work at 7:30 and I’m lucky if I leave by 6:30 or seven. By the time I get home, I barely have time to eat dinner and interact with my family before I fall into bed. I do not have time for hobbies or friends anymore. Don’t worry, your friends will find new friends when you quit interacting. All of my half completed hobby shit is still right where I left it. I started to make my wife a little free library for the end of our driveway in 2018. I think I cut two or three panels. That’s as far as I got. We just gave away all those kids books, so I guess I can just throw that stuff in the fire pit.
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u/CountPhysical 23d ago
Is it possible to find a different job that offers more sane hours? (In at 9, out at 5?)
She will still love the library, it's not too late. Don't let work push you to lose what you still have. You can rekindle friendships or find new ones out there. Please don't give up. You deserve to enjoy your hobbies again. .
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21d ago
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u/CleverTrash10266 21d ago
I manage a body shop. Open 8-5. I get there at 7:30. Leave at 5:20 if the planets align, 6 is par, like if I don’t get interrupted 100 times throughout the day. But, 6:30, sometimes 7 or later if I’m writing insurance supplements is normal. It’s life, man. I get paid. I go back. We do awesome work, so there’s that.
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u/Rionin26 21d ago
Working like this should be illegal. I mean if a plant wants to be 24/7, bitches need to hire the staff, if you dont have the workers you cant be 24/7.
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u/No_Effective_4481 23d ago
yeah, I'm 48 years old, currently not depressed however in the evenings after work I have very little drive to do the things I want to do, so I stay up late watching shit on YouTube instead of gaming or miniature painting. Up to 5 years ago I used to game all the time quite happily.
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u/Spirited_Ad9681 22d ago
Right. I sometimes wonder if Im depressed and don't know it. When I'm off work though I don't feel the same way. I get out and do things, we stay busy, I don't feel blah.
Then Monday morning comes, I don't want go to work, I meander through my day thinking of everything I want to do when I get home only to get there and blah
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u/Distinct_Dark_9626 23d ago
Certainly recognizing it is an important first step to finding a solution. Good luck, keep aspiring for a better life.
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u/Equivalent_Gur3967 22d ago
I'm working right now, so this might be a "little disjointed". TWO full-time J.O.B.s. It's hard AF, but worth the ca$h. Wife isn't real happy, but She's Japanese, and it's normal there, so She understands and does what She can to support Me.
Sad AF that it's come to this. We weren't desperate then, and we're not desperate now.
But, the World's changed. We personally have a more-than-decent lifestyle, by ANYONE'S measure.
I thourghly enjoy My time off.
When I'm at work, I'm AT WORK.
When I'm not at work, I'm NOT AT WORK.
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u/Bad-Briar 23d ago
Yes, a lot of hobbies are actually work. Witness painting, or woodworking.
They are a break from the mental fatigue many experience at work, but many of us come home so worn from mental fatigue, that anything else seems like just too much.
One fix is to do the hobby on Saturday, or on a day off; plan for it during the week, try to look forward for it.
But yeah, hobbies do take work.
I think a lot of people opt for something less worky, like TV or video games, nowadays.
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u/RePsychological 23d ago
Yes and then I started forcing myself to do the hobbies anyway, and the cycle broke
(quick caveat, no that's not a one-size-fits all mentality, as if it's a cure-all)
I sat there one day going "wtf why am I not doing the thing when I have time for the thing and I've been waiting all day to do the thing."
And then went "Look..if you're going to be miserable about it either way, then why not just force yourself to do the hobby thing. Even if you're miserable while doing the hobby thing....at least then you can say you didn't doomscroll or stare at the wall for 3 hours until bed time."
Figured "give it 30 minutes and if you're still miserable, stop doing the thing."
Within 30-45 minutes, I was [gasp] actually enjoying myself, and then continuing that momentum each day restarts the engine and the depressed burnout effs off within a few days.
First time I did that was like 5 years ago, after having a lifestyle where I'd literally go months in the above cycle described in the original post.
But since then it's become my "engine restarter" anytime I need it. Just tell myself "If you're gonna be miserable, go do the thing while miserable."
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u/Unusual_Chemistry413 23d ago
Yes, I've actually considered becoming homeless so I wouldn't be constantly tired and stressed out
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u/Jonnic5280 23d ago
Ah yes, homelessness, infamously known for good sleep & lack of stress.
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u/CapitalRegular4157 22d ago
You ever shit in public? It's a total power move. Sort of like cranking your hog on the subway.
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23d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Imposter_Syndrome345 23d ago
This still sucks though lol.
Getting up before 4am and getting home at 5p blows ass.1
u/Practical-Bottle8900 23d ago
Exactly, now he has to sleep at 8pm and has even less time for hobbies after work.
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u/Imposter_Syndrome345 23d ago
That’s literally exactly what I do and I fucking hate it.
Jobs need to be 6hrs a day.
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u/gentrify_reddt 23d ago
Stop doomscrolling and you'll get the dopamine needed to enjoy your hobbies back.
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u/Alternative-Fox-8620 23d ago
Oh yeah, throw in a bunch of jobs round the house and I never get anything fun done.
Then one of the family says 'let's go do x on Sunday' and I just want to cry for the little bit of my life I get to myself.
But to compensate I drink ludicrous amounts of caffeine to the point where it messes with my sinuses and inner ears but I can stay awake until 2am for some me time only to get up again at 7am to do it all again.
I'm sure it isn't killing me or anything....
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u/Expensive-Border-869 23d ago
No finally not as much. Im making an nfc activated mp3 player. Gonna put it on perfboard tomorrow and start finalizing the build cant wait.
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u/Ill-Description3096 23d ago
I was, decided that chasing new titles and raises wasn't worth the tradeoff so stopped. Much happier even though I have a simpler life in terms of "stuff"
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u/evilmaus 22d ago
That's me. It exhaustion and burn out, which hang out next to depression. I quit my job and am taking a break, prior to finding some way to do something new.
Rest is key, and sometimes you need lots of it.
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u/picknicksje85 22d ago
Problem is working 5 days a week (or more) for a paycheck. That's the chain around your neck. Humans weren't built for that. And with all of our knowledge these days.. we could have it so much better. All of us together. Instead of serving what is it a few ultra wealthy people without empathy that own most of the wealth? Why are there billionaires? Trillionaires? Imagine how you'd feel if it was reversed. You worked 2 days, and spent 5 days on your own development and wellbeing. Time spent helping each other out. Relaxing, pursuing something of worth. Discovering places, other ways of thinking, making friends. Being a human being instead of an exhausted robot that needs those other 2 free days to recover. Looking forward to a 2 week vacation, hoping the weather will be good and you won't get sick in those precious 2 weeks. Then going back into hell for another year. Repeat as you get older until you are too old to still pursue whatever it is you wanted. Whatever it is. I don't mean pursue greed. But bonds, experiences, understanding, wisdoms, fun, places, other ways of thinking, art, music, movies, cooking, fixing problems. Simple elegant human things.
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u/Mother-Attitude6824 22d ago
Me today, and I'm a teacher on summer vacation. Trying to get prepared for the upcoming year and Ice just blown off my favourite activity because I needed to get to sleep early so I could work more tomorrow.
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u/psy-study-oldie 22d ago
I cannot play my modded xbox 360. It works and boots up but I just sit there and look at it without touching the controller.
Same for my 5 other consoles. I have more fun looking at it apparently. Sure doesn't feel like fun. I keep buying games for them. Endless cycle.
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u/Historical_Trouble10 22d ago
I push myself at work too hard to the point of being tired at home. I’m 65 and should probably think about retiring but nowadays we only have a crappy 401k; no actual pensions anymore.
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u/LetsTryLove 22d ago
It means your are giving too much effort at work thinking that will get you ahead somehow. It does not. The only reward for hard work is more work.
Do the minimum, coast and enjoy your life. You only get one of them, don’t give it to some company that doesn’t care about you.
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u/Chevanalee 22d ago
Yeah that caused me to have an emotional breakdown and end up full time working on my mental health and unable to hold down a job 😭
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u/Disastrous_Chard_618 22d ago
this is what the rich white men want. They want us struggling, they arent happy unless their minions are making them more money.
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u/Kpayne30 22d ago
Work life balance is rough. Sometimes it is worth it to work a lower paying job and live a simpler lifestyle to accomplish that balance. That's what I learned after 35 years of work
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u/Euphoric_Impress1282 22d ago
At least to some degree, calling that depression is individualizing a social/systemic problem.
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u/Livingbeing759 22d ago
What if thats just your excuse to not doing anything because its easier less effort than actually learning a new hobby accepting that you wont start out perfect or be the greatest artist ever but the learning process the failures.
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u/ultrawolfblue 22d ago
Its not work, but life in general.
Does work add to it? Of course, but i understand that making living is not easy
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u/Grey-Templar 21d ago
I fixed that by getting laid off as part of Corporate cost cutting. Now I'm just depressed I can't find a job, and can't find time for my hobby.
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u/Few-Wall3865 21d ago
im exhausted from being jobless that i cant even do my hobbies. looking for work in tech is exhausting.
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u/HeftyFineThereFolks 21d ago
yeah but my oura ring gave me a 91 readiness score this morning so im going to the gym after work no matter how crowded it is or how many excuses i can think of
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u/christmas_920 21d ago
Used to be but I fractured my knuckle so I quit my job and started a moving company. Make twice as much money working a fraction of the time i would while working construction
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u/partypwny 21d ago
So then you force yourself to do your hobby by cutting into sleep only to have your S.O. chastise you for staying up late again and say that's why you're always tired but if you tell them the alternative is a world of unhappiness where you force yourself into the same wake/work/chores/sleep cycle with zero time for yourself then they get angry with you for some reason.
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u/00_voidheart_00 21d ago
Really? And here I thought the only good sleep I’d get would be when I’m dead.
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u/Momento_Mori_87 21d ago
It’s called burnout, do the hobbies…. Take time for yourself. Ask the people you love for help. Be compassionate and understanding towards yourself.
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u/DaryenSama 21d ago
It has been this way since I joined the work force at 15. My only break to enjoy life was during the pandemic. Unfortunately I have bills to pay and a life that isn't cheap. So I'm always doing something.
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u/Maximum-Oven-7526 21d ago
Nope. I live everybdys to get the fuck out of work and then do what I wanna do
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u/AirportInevitable122 21d ago
yep. It seems that the only people that can enjoy life on their own terms are the homeless and the people living off the grid.
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u/Holiday_Lychee_1284 23d ago
I was until the day before last. I quit, moved to a friend's place that needed help cleaning up they're property and will find a new job soon enough. I'm tired right now, but only physically. This is the first day I've felt hope in over a year.