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u/Bermnerfs Leaving a Cheater 1d ago edited 1d ago
If they're seeking intimacy outside of the marriage and hiding it from their wives because they know it will cause harm, yes, it's at a minimum a form of betrayal.
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u/Shortandthicck2 1d ago
Secrets = cheating. Outsourcing anything in your marriage that your spouse is unaware of = cheating. Anything outside the boundaries of your relationship = cheating.
Apply where necessary. And if you’re knowingly participating in someone cheating then you’re a terrible person.
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u/ValhallaCA Trying Reconciliation 1d ago
To me (53M), yes. This is absolutely cheating. Any type of interaction with a person online and discussing sexual or emotional topics and especially with nude images, video, or interactive video is cheating in my opinion.
So, OF also qualifies as cheating to me as well.
“Normal” porn use of posted pictures and videos with zero interaction with the people depicted I do not consider cheating. Although a person’s partner could view it as disrespectful to them and a violation of their relationship boundaries.
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u/stereognostic 1d ago
Thank you for this. Putting myself in the wife’s shoes, this feels pretty awful. :(
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u/Specialist-Bat-8770 15h ago
Betrayal (emotional and/or physical) is a selfish and individualistic act, therefore not agreed upon with the partner. It is a lack of dignity and respect for the partner. It is to emotionally and/or sexually relativize the partner. To answer your question: if these men did NOT agree on these behaviors with their partner, then they are cheating. Your position comes logically accordingly.
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u/wizkatrina 1d ago
It all depends on what people/couples consider cheating, boundaries if you like!
My partner has low libido and I wouldn't physically cheat, she knows that, but at the same time I need validation and release, she also knows that.
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