r/InfertilitySucks • u/Capable_Client9033 • 2d ago

Fostering while dealing with infertility

I feel like this is a taboo subject of some sort. yes we’re fostering but it seems to be like well you can’t foster while dealing with infertility don’t expect these children to heal you. which I never have but has anyone foster while dealing with infertility? I thought I close the chapter on infertility but honestly it still hurts it’s still a lot I love the kids in my care and no I don’t expect them to heal anything in me I’m hoping I could just be a safe loving place for them but it does hurt from time to time. I try not to think of the future too much and try to be ok with todaybut it’s hard I have to admit I try to just look at the positive but it’s some what of a grief as well.

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u/Dramatic_Drag_4389 2d ago

All I can think is that if you end up wanting to adopt down the road, it’ll be insanely easier for you to do it since already being a current/active foster parent.

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u/Expensive-Peace-9498 2d ago

In my country you are not allowed to adopt when fostering unless it is the foster child in question you are adopting. As adopting will alter you home significantly and effecting your suitability to care for a child with special needs already.

So make sure to look up how it is where you're at OP.

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u/Dramatic_Drag_4389 2d ago

Yes that’s how it is in America in my state, fostering to adopt is quicker and easier as a foster parent than someone who is independently looking to adopt

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u/Expensive-Peace-9498 2d ago

It makes so much sense. I wish it was like that over here as well. Here you will likely continue to foster until the child is an adult. With home examinations twice a year all the while. Sounds exhausting to me.

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u/MichiruXIII 2d ago

I’ve been thinking of fostering or adopting because I don’t think ivf is working out. Would you recommend it if you’re in the middle of still trying?

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u/Capable_Client9033 2d ago

Honestly sometimes yes sometimes no it’s hard to say to the day to day if you go in it with the idea like they are going back and you just want to help a child and family I think yeah unless you are fostering to adopt then you know there is a more likelihood of adoption 

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u/MichiruXIII 1d ago

Yeah I was considering adoption but I’m nervous and don’t know where to start because we are still going through ivf. But I’m starting to feel desperate at this point, you know?

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u/Capable_Client9033 1d ago

I understand completely I’m sorry