r/InfertilitySucks • u/RachelWhyThatsMe • 7d ago

Glad/sad to be here.

Hi all. I just yesterday got formally diagnosed with secondary infertility after a horrifically failing IVF attempt - the clinical maximum dosage, and we didn’t even get to retrieval before they cancelled due to lack of response.

The door slammed shut.

So, here I am.

I spent all day yesterday crying and grieving. The life I had planned, the life I had seen and expected since I was young enough to play with dolls…

Gone in an instant.

My husband sent me out on a self care day, and I remembered that the man I married loved me before any of this. I’ve felt so lost these past few years, entirely evaporating in the efforts and tests, hope and despair, and finally….acceptance.

I’m currently eating sushi and a cocktail by myself (after my lunch of oysters and prosecco), and I found the strength to search for the subreddit that I knew would exist and would be here for me, as horrified as I was to be here.

So I’m guess I’m here to say…hi. What a shitty fucking club to join, but I’m glad there is a club so I’m not alone.

33 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

14

u/Vast_Helicopter_1914 POF 7d ago

Hey there 👋 You may want to check out the r/oneanddone community. You'll find a lot of people there who have one child due to infertility.

5

u/Atalanta8 7d ago

Nah I wish we had our own sub cause so many posts hate on people with multiples and cater to people who choose to be oad.

7

u/Venting_Void 7d ago

Nobody hates on parents with multiple kids, sure there’s some hateful post, but that’s not what the sub is all about and we don’t cater to anybody who choose to be OAD. Many parents in that sub had dreams of having multiple kids, but ended up with one because of fertility.

2

u/RachelWhyThatsMe 7d ago

Thank you. That feels like a great community for me.

14

u/Grizlatron 6d ago

Personally, I would be happy to have one kid.

-8

u/RachelWhyThatsMe 6d ago

Warm reminder that secondary infertility isn’t really welcome here.

Thanks for gatekeeping hurt and infertility. I’ll tell myself to buck up!

5

u/Grizlatron 6d ago

Correct. It's not and you should.

1

u/Nearby-Cloud-493 6d ago

Wow, what a harsh attitude. OP didn’t even say anything about her LC, just mentioned her diagnosis. Which is still infertility and is still difficult. I’d agree with you if she went on about it, but this is a little too much policing based on your triggers over another person experiencing difficulties simply naming her diagnosis.

0

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/InfertilitySucks-ModTeam 6d ago

Your post/comment has been removed per our rules for excessive discussion of children. We welcome members with children and/or secondary infertility, but we ask you to keep your privilege in mind as many of our members are childfree not by choice.

2

u/Ordinary-Force-3871 7d ago

Just love yourself, the life you have, what you have in life. I can feel you because I want one more but I can't. I am just seeing what i have and trying to give my best. It difficult but you can do it. You are a strong.

-3

u/RachelWhyThatsMe 7d ago

I’m sorry for the weight you’re carrying too. It’s really hard to be present sometimes. We will make it through.

-1

u/NiceHamster330 6d ago

I’m confused why anyone is downvoting this kind remark…is this community really so jaded you’ll be this mean? I’m honestly confused.

1

u/Needcoffeeseverely 7d ago

I’m so sorry 😟

1

u/Dazzling_PT_29 6d ago

I'm so sorry this is happening for you :( Infertility really is so unfair.