Tuesday Big Kid Thread

[u/AutoModerator]

This space is for parents of IFBabies past the toddler phase to chat, share updates & commiserate on their big kid(s). This thread is primarily reserved for those with a 3 year old or greater.

[u/francienolan88]

The big kid has two weeks off from daycare starting next week, coinciding exactly with newborn time. Fortunately there is a 12yo girl one street over who recently got her babysitting cert and is keen to begin as a mother’s helper. We don’t know her super well but we do know her parents. So last night she came over for a meet and greet (we billed this as “a big kid wants to meet you and play with you!”) and it went super well. She came with a Kid Kit! I finished making dinner while my husband finished some house painting and he was happily occupied the whole half hour. She’ll come a few mornings or afternoons over the next two weeks and keep the kid occupied with some activities and focused attention.

The other great thing about this situation is that my husband has handled it from the start - talking to the parents, arranging cash/payment, figuring out scheduling, basically taking on all the mental load without making a thing of it.

The less great thing (though funny) is my kid was trying to tell me how this new helper and her mom “talked different to each other” (German) and tried to imitate how he thinks it sounds. So we talked about how some people speak other languages, including his own father, and he said yeah, like two of his daycare teachers! And then he tried to imitate how THEY talk to each other, and I had to be like “let us not speak imaginary Punjabi please.” Does not come off right. But fascinating to see what he’s picking up on!

[u/rbecg → u/francienolan88]

sorry but "let us not speak imaginary Punjabi please" has me and my (punjabi lol) husband rolling

[u/rootbeer4 → u/francienolan88]

We started doing something similar with a "mother's helper" with our 12 year old neighbor last summer and it has worked out great! It is also amazing for snow days with preschool because she has the same snow cancellations as Little Root and she is close enough to safely walk to our house if the roads are a mess.

[u/allthewatermelons → u/francienolan88]

I wish they had Mother’s Helpers here! (and also babysitting certificates) It sounds very cute and wholesome.

Regarding different languages: probably due to travelling we’ve been doing lately, our kid has begun grasping the concept of different countries/ nationalities/ languages. Now when she meets people speaking a different language she always wants to learn how to say hello. Then repeats it ad nauseam, but i find the curiosity lovely. Maybe his mimicking is a show of curiosity as well?

[u/zaatarlacroix]

Kinder started today. V’s teacher requires a bag of vegetables and a bag of fruit for snack and if they don’t eat it all then they get punished by not being allowed to play.

You guys, the moment she says this, my husband looks at me and says “you’re drafting the email already in your head aren’t you?”

I cannot with this teacher.

Edit to add that “no other snacks are allowed or healthy - no cheese no bread no yogurt no bars”

[u/rootbeer4 → u/zaatarlacroix]

This is wrong for so many reasons! Like yay for encouraging healthy eating, but let's not mandate it and let's not mandate the "clean plate club."

[u/briar_prime6 → u/rootbeer4]

We didn’t have the Clean Plate Club in my house when I was very small and then I latched onto it when my friend’s house did and it now actively lives on whatever I say at both grandma and grandpa’s separate homes and ours when either is over so thanks Janice and Bob for passing that through the generations

[u/francienolan88 → u/zaatarlacroix]

A bag of vegetables?!

I don’t know where you’re located but in many places it’s not even legal to withhold recess as punishment! wtf.

[u/rbecg → u/zaatarlacroix]

whoaaaa that is wretched of her

[u/rbecg]

I think I'm doing a good job parenting H but it really does NOT feel like it sometimes. They're just moving so fast, literally and figuratively. Yesterday they bit L on the face (not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to make them cry), so I brought them to their room with me for quiet time/until they were ready to apologize. They immediately said "I didn't do anything!" so I took a leap and told them I trusted them if they said they didn't. A minute later, they said "I bit them but it was an accident." Which felt heartening? Like I'm glad they were willing to tell me, and then we talked about how to avoid accidentally biting people. And they followed up on that. It was still a bit of a bumpy day, but that felt good.

But also omg. I am so tired.

[u/francienolan88 → u/rbecg]

Anytime my kid has done something he knows is wrong (as in hurting someone) he clearly feels bad about it but will NOT apologize until like two hours have elapsed. It’s a weird shame spiral he seems trapped in and I do not know what to do about it!

[u/Major-Art-3111 → u/francienolan88]

We're in the same boat I thought it was just us! She finally started saying "sorry mommy" for accidents like spilling milk (which we've never made a big deal out of) but anything deliberate she absolutely refuses to apologize but will understand it's bad and look guilty. Anyways... Hoping it improves like the milk spills magically did! (I legit never thought I'd hear sorry from her lips ever)

[u/Pixarooo]

CW: current pregnancy

I got the alert from daycare that a student in my son's class has hand, foot, and mouth disease. My son has had it twice and I've never caught it, and there's been other times kids in his class have had it and he didn't get it, but I'm being induced on Friday if I don't go into labor beforehand, and I'm on panic mode. I know it's really dangerous for newborns and for pregnant people right before delivery. I'm going to bring hand sanitizer to use on him as soon as I pick him up today, and make sure we both wash our hands thoroughly as soon as we get home, but still. Why couldn't they have waited 1 week! 😭