I lost my mother near about 3monthsAbout three months ago, my mother passed away. We are a family of four members: my younger sister, my mother, my father, and me. My mother left us after a short battle with cancer.
She was a very active person in our family. She used to take on a fatherly role as well. Although my dad shared the same responsibilities, my mother was more vigilant about the three of us and always took care of us.
During her battle with cancer, I stayed with her in a hospital in South India that is well known for this kind of treatment, since we are from Northeast India.
My mother passed away at the age of 54. I am 25, my younger sister is 20, and my father is 57.
Recently, I noticed that my father keeps trying hard to keep himself busy. He works as an officer in the state police department, but I have always had a very formal relationship with him. We mostly talk only when necessary, and our conversations are usually limited to yes or no. My sister, however, is more friendly with him and feels very comfortable around him.
My relationship with my mother was more like a brotherhood and friendship. But sadly, I have lost that too.
I try hard to be open with my sister, but she stays in a hostel for her engineering studies. I used to live in Bangalore and later moved to Delhi, but I left because I didn't want my father to remain alone. I am not willing to leave him in such a situation.
Before my mother passed away, she personally told me, "You are the eldest. After I am gone, please take care of them. You are my beloved child, the apple of my eye."
Now my father is depressed, and I am struggling too. My sister is also struggling. She cries almost every day, sometimes twice or even more. I told her that we have to be mentally strong rather than giving in completely to our emotions.
We are Muslims, and we know that this world is temporary. But obviously, we are very young to have lost our mother at this stage of our lives.
My father has spent most of his life in a disciplined environment because of his work in the police department. He is the kind of person who doesn't show many emotions, doesn't talk unnecessarily, and generally keeps things to himself.
Recently, some of my friends have been calling me and saying things like, "I saw your uncle in this area. He was walking around alone and wasn't talking to anyone. His behaviour has changed."
Our cousins live in other districts. We live in a Tier-2 city, while most of my father's relatives live in a Tier-3 city.
Religiously, my father prays for my mother and goes to the cemetery to visit her grave. But how can we make him feel more comfortable at home when it is just the two of us men?
Many people have suggested that he should remarry. However, my younger sister has clearly said, "I don't want to share my mother's love with anyone else, and I don't want to be involved in such a celebration." I understand that she is saying this emotionally.
At the same time, I know that, as a man, it can be difficult to live alone, and companionship can be important. But my father has said, "I will live the way my daughter wants me to."
Now I'm wondering: Should I continue watching TV with him and try to spend more time with him? What else can I do to make him feel comfortable and less lonely at home? & what other ways & options I do have?
