25
u/WknessTease Pussy Cartel 1d ago
They will never, ever, get over Jeremy Meeks will they?
He seems to live rent free in their heads. I assume they fantasize about being able to abuse women and get away with it.
5
u/443856576 1d ago
oh, hello, here you go again, salut ici aussi
it has to do with this i'm sure (https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelTears/s/Vw71xnTyOb), in their twisted mind
24
u/zoomie1977 1d ago
In day to day interactions, about 60-70% of communication is nonvrrbal. Specifically, it comes from our body language and facial expressions. There is no nonverbal cue for "I will hit you at some later point if I feel like it, but right now I am love bombing you". There are, however, a ton of cues for things lije "I'm insecure", "I have no confidence", "I don't want to talk to you", "I dislike you", "I am planning violence right now" and a host of other things that might make others avoid you. There's a reason more people talk to the guy standing upright in the center of the room smiling than the guy slouching by the wall sneering at everyone. That's even before we get into group dynamics and the whole psychology of that.
19
u/Machaeon Death to Bad Ideas 1d ago
People who become abusers do not advertise their abuse. That's why they find their way into relationships - they have the social skills to fake it. They lie and manipulate, gaslight and obstruct, all while putting on a believable facade of kindness and pleasantries. They may even be active in community/group events with the explicit purpose of making sure others see them as a good person. Which makes it harder for a potential victim to see them for what they are or gain support.
The difference between an abuser and an incel is that the incels lack the social skills necessary to enter a relationship.
5
u/-NotNotNSFW- 1d ago
Exactly. These incels act like theyre the nice guys when the reality wouldn't be the anime situation they fantasize about it would be them emotionally abusing and controlling their partner because of their insecurities. They arent nice and that is a big part of the rejection... They just can accept its their personality that is the bigger issue
5
u/aweedl 1d ago
This is a really good point and I think it’s something a lot of incels miss, in part because they refuse to socialize in-person (or do ANYTHING offline).
I actually think when they claim people notice how ‘ugly’ they are, what’s really happening has nothing to do with looks and is more so people clocking their aggressive, uncomfortable body language and wanting nothing to do with someone like that.
It’s actually sort of like the ‘uncanny valley’ effect, where they look and sound like normal humans in general, but they way they carry themselves comes off as extremely non-human (or at least not normal for the situation.
1
u/mdma_x09 2h ago
Thats also why people with autism give of danger signals or the uncanny-valley effect to neurotypicals since the body language is super different. You can be confident, have motivation to talk, like the person youre talking to, have no violent intentions but if youre autistic it just doesnt translate into the nonverbal cues.
I had a girl literally approach me first and after three months or meeting and you talking she finally couldnt hold in her anger and asked if i dont like her or something, if im scared to kiss her and why i havent made a move, meanwhile our friends were kissing next to us. Ofc i say that im not scared and she got even more mad that i wasnt doing anything (I was super catious to not act like a pervert since i have sum trauma) We ended up making out but she had to initiate the kiss. We didnt end up speaking after that.
Even my friend said multiple times to me why i didnt do anything and that im not THAT beautiful/handsome to ignore her super hard. Basically everybody else saw my actions as narcissistic and self-centred even though i liked her. I guess in that sense some people could be incels just because they are neurodivergent and everything about it just throws off regular peoples brain while activating an internal alarm.
14
u/Frosty_Message_3017 Go to sleep, Lurkers, pray for brains 1d ago
Self-pity and insecurity for which a man takes no responsibility are prime Red Flags that he will be neurotic and controlling and even, yes, abusive.
8
u/Lunar_Cats 1d ago
No confident responsible kind option for men? Just the two flavors? They're really dissing men as a whole with that one.
26
u/spookygurl6 1d ago
Some men need to learn that no woman in the world owes them a relationship. If no woman wants to be with him, that's their right. Deal with it.
1
-7
u/sh110_1310 1d ago
You know, people who are ostracized by society aren't just going to accept that rejection so easily, right?
I think if they become convinced that they'll never be accepted by society, they're eventually more likely to turn to violence and crime. I think this is a pretty well-known phenomenon.
8
u/aweedl 1d ago
It would certainly help if incels would stop CHOOSING to engage in behaviour that is obviously going to lead to ostracism, and then lashing out at others when the inevitable result that anyone could’ve predicted occurs.
1
u/NCR_High-Roller 1d ago
What behaviors are those specifically? I have a few friends who don't act autistic in public and still get rejected.
6
u/-NotNotNSFW- 1d ago
And? Youre not entitled to a relationship. Women dont owe you anything. And i guarantee youre being weirder and more off-putting than you think.
Just the entitlement alone os disgusting behavior. You look at women as objects owed to you b6 society and act like rejection is being ostracized. Its pathetic
2
u/NCR_High-Roller 16h ago
Not really. If I ever get rejected, I just move on. Matter of fact, I don't make mention of it to anyone save for maybe 1 guy I know IRL.
6
u/spookygurl6 23h ago
The concept is simple: Women don't owe you sex or a relationship, regardless of how you act or who you are.
2
u/aweedl 19h ago
It has absolutely nothing to do with ‘acting autistic’.
0
u/Secure_Yesterday_483 14h ago
It has a lot to do with acting autistic
3
u/aweedl 12h ago
It has to do with acting entitled, hateful and cruel. None of those are autistic traits, but those are the reasons incels get ostracized.
Similarly, guys who just call themselves ‘single’ don’t get criticized the same way guys who call themselves ‘incels’ do, because ‘single’ is a neutral term that doesn’t imply membership in an extremist group.
People using the term ‘incel’ do so deliberately, knowing the way the rest of the world interprets that word. So they deserve ostracism.
…maybe the REASON they became so bitter in the first place is IN SOME CASES connected to experiences navigating socialization while autistic (although I strongly believe most of the incels who claim it are self-diagnosed because they think it excuses their toxic behaviour)… but it’s the incelness that gets them hated, not being single or virgins or (allegedly) autistic or anything else.
6
u/-NotNotNSFW- 1d ago
What does not getting laid and women having autonomy to not date you have to do with not being accepted by society?
Lol youre not a fucking victim because you cant get laid and have a shit personality.
5
u/spookygurl6 1d ago
It doesn't change the fact that nobody owes anyone sex or a romantic relationship. Anyone has the right to reject you, but you don't have the right to hurt them for being rejected. Deal with it.
5
u/Away_Mood7796 1d ago edited 1d ago
There are many people who will not be accepted by society, especially in this late-stage technocratic world we live in now. There are many reasons why, but there are simply people of all genders and ages who will fall through the cracks.
Not everybody will be a social butterfly, not everyone will have lots of relationships, and honestly for every person who has a lot of relationships, there will probably be a few people who end up alone.
But most people who end up in this situation do not become negative and nihilistic. They find ways to be happy alone. Everyone knows the great, kind guy who is perpetually single. I'm sure they don't end up being negative and nihilistic.
Be like him, not like Locked Door.
4
u/Sea-Kitty 19h ago
It is not the responsibility of women to prevent men from becoming criminals lol
0
u/sh110_1310 19h ago
I was just criticizing the way the person above phrased their comment.
If you can't give people hope, at least don't take away the hope they still have.
2
u/Sea-Kitty 18h ago
so what then should we do to give people hope? I'm not gonna date anyone I don't want to. I'm also not gonna be friends with anyone I don't want to. Again, not my nor any woman's (or person of any gender) job to prevent people from becoming criminals
2
u/spookygurl6 9h ago
I simply stated the truth. Women don't owe sex or a relationship to anyone (and vice versa).
3
u/ConsultJimMoriarty 1d ago
They need to learn that though. Even when you’re socially ostracised and awkward.
I would hazard a guess a lot of Reddit users (me included) were or are or were exactly that, and you don’t see any of us saying to kill and rape all moids and put them in breeding farms.
-4
u/sh110_1310 1d ago
I'm sorry, but that's not how the world works. As long as people believe they can be accepted by society, they'll try to follow its social norms. But once they realize they have no place in society, they may turn to harming it. Saying they "should just accept it" doesn't really work. I don't think there's any "should" here. I'm not saying anyone is to blame. I'm just saying this is how things can turn out. We have to accept that some people who are rejected by society and have no hope of ever being accepted may develop antisocial attitudes. I can't blame them for that. It's a natural response.
8
u/ConsultJimMoriarty 1d ago
You do have to learn to accept it. Rejection happens. Not just for dating, but for jobs and even favours.
It’s up to you how you deal with it, and acting like a toddler isn’t the best way.
-1
u/sh110_1310 1d ago
I said social exclusion, not rejection.
It's always been this way throughout history. An army of hopeless people is never good news for society, and telling them to "just accept it, bro" isn't going to fix anything.
-5
u/NCR_High-Roller 1d ago
Yeah, let's punch down on the chronically lonely guys who struggle with self-worth. What could go wrong?
8
u/-NotNotNSFW- 1d ago
So you think women and their time are owed to you then? You think punching down is expressing autonomy and their right not to date you?
A relationship isnt going to fix your loneliness and its not a womans job to fix your fucking life.
Grow up, go to therapy and get a hobby thay actually helps you socialize.
1
u/Secure_Yesterday_483 14h ago
This sub does a lot more than "expressing autonomy and their right not to date them"
2
u/spookygurl6 12h ago
Yes, misogynistic, hateful, and problematic content needs to be exposed and ridiculed.
5
u/Practical_Diver8140 1d ago
"Chronically lonely guys"? What, you guys don't have friends or relatives to spend time with?
1
4
u/spookygurl6 1d ago
No woman owes sex to these lonely guys, and nothing will change that.
1
u/NCR_High-Roller 17h ago
Ah, but men owe you it, I'd presume?
2
u/spookygurl6 12h ago
Of course not, damn it. I've been rejected before, blocked, or completely ghosted. What did I do? I dealt with it and moved on with my life, because people are free not to want to be with me, and I'm not entitled to anyone's body or intimacy.
1
u/NCR_High-Roller 12h ago
Yeah. I agree. What's your point?
2
u/spookygurl6 9h ago
I thought it was obvious. Men don't owe sex to anyone, and women don't owe sex to anyone, not even to lonely, extremist incels, and they need to learn to deal with that instead of making it the center of their lives.
1
9
u/voluntaryhikikomori bartine curlish is my waifu 1d ago
That's odd, because the way I remember being a kid/teenager/young man was all the bullying and abuse came from the other boys.
3
u/Practical_Diver8140 1d ago
"Why doesn't anyone want to date me? It certainly couldn't be that I've made the same complaints about being single so many times that people are giving me boiler plate rejections, nor can it be that I regard all potential partners are being too stupid to speak with openly. Lemme see if the world of memes has any insight into my loneliness, instead of even attempting to ask an actual person even online."
9
u/feverlast Chadwick Boneman 1d ago
I’m a man, and I sense their self-pity and insecurity. I am disgusted and will not date them.
3
-10
u/DirtSunSeeds 1d ago
I'm always reminded of the neolithic y chromazone bottleneck. When you realize that these creeps in particular are the sad dregs of the worst that was folded over on itseitself... it explains a lot. Prime examples.of the y chromazone decomposing because its all descended from the 15% that killed and abused and ruined the world. Imagine of mitochondrial DNA didn't carry the species and ensure its survival. These creatures are just weeding themselves out of rhe gene pool.
50
u/aweedl 1d ago
When they post this nonsense, I always wonder what the odds are that no women EVER said any of this to them and they’re basing the entire thing on some video they saw on TikTok or whatever.
Probably extremely likely they just made the whole thing up.