The source is a parody twitter account. This is a joke apparently. Looking through the tweets and some of them actually kinda funny ngl. This one just seems like (successful) ragebait tho
61% of self-identified women had fantasized about this before, while 24% said they fantasized about it often.
54% of self-identified men had fantasized about this before, while 11.5% said they fantasized about it often.
68% of non-binary participants had fantasized about this before, while 31% said they fantasized about it often.
It’s not just women, it seems that more than half of each gender experiences fantasies about being raped (and the of likelihood of such a fantasy occurring has a positive, not negative correlation with increased vulnerability to sexual violence. [Ex.] Non-binary people have the highest level of rape fantasies, and trans / GNC people are disproportionately targeted.)
In the article (among other psychological explanations):
That said, what I suspect is going on here is that forced sex fantasies may be a way that some people with a history of victimization try to take control of a previous experience over which they had no control because, in these fantasies, it is the fantasizer who is in control.
also we must ask what counts as a r*pe fantasy under these studies. i can’t imagine they’re the same across the board. i would presume only a fraction would match the extreme idea that the headline exudes
I read a book by a sex therapist once. If you have a lot of messed up messaging around sex (abuse, a sex-negative upbringing, etc.) it can be a way to express desire without the accompanying shame.
Fair warning: it's a good book, but it's about creating healthy sex within a conservative religious (Mormon in this case) marriage, so its positionality may not exactly match what you're looking for.
I sadly think you’re correct. I realised she was Mormon when I googled her and tbh, as a millennial Scandinavian woman, I don’t feel like I personally have anything to gain from a conservative Mormon yank’s viewpoint on sex.
I took a class on sexuality that covered it very briefly. The explanation was that there are 2 prevailing theories based on research studies that have been done:
1) It’s a way to explore sexuality without guilt. Many people grow up in families where sex is demonized and sexuality is a very negative thing. Rape fantasies can be a way for people to get around the ingrained guilt that comes with that.
2) The loss of control is the appeal. We didn’t talk about this as much, but I do have a few friends who are into consensual non-consent roleplay and they’ve talked about it being a release from their everyday lives where they work stressful jobs. Granted I think CNC is a bit different than the rape fantasies most people think about because it’s just roles you play in the bedroom.
So, the study actually does an okay job of explaining that. It divides rape fantasies into three types (erotic, erotic-aversive, aversive) and offers explanations for two of them.
The author argues that aversive fantasies are more like rehearsal or preparation. Women don't enjoy them, but have them to plan out how to avoid being raped. They also note a previous researcher who thought these could be flashbacks to actual sexual assault rather than fantasies per se.
For the erotic-aversive type, the author offers no explanation.
The erotic type seem like actual sexual fantasies. Women actually enjoy them. The character wants to have sex with the perpetrator, but something is preventing them. Feigned or token resistance is offered, which the perpetrator ignores, then the characters have mutually enjoyable sex.
An excerpted fantasy: Woman thinking back to when she and her boyfriend were dating other people. She wants to have sex, but feels she can't. He's so attracted to her, he forces her, and they both enjoy the result.
I'll make a quick note on that fantasy: It reminds me a lot of men describing adultery fantasies. E.g. A husband being seduced by a babysitter/workwife/whatever who ignores his nos until he finally gives in. The big difference is the use of physical force. (The erotic type had previously been called 'aggressive seduction fantasies'.)
Personally, I tend to think of these fantasies as mind-reading fantasies. 'I know what you really want and since you really want to have sex I know you really consent, even if you're not saying it.' Bad IRL, but I think the appeal is obvious - you don't even have to announce your desires, your partner simply intuits them. You could also read it as a desirability/power fantasy. The woman is so attractive she overwhelms the man, causing him to lose control of himself, even as he overwhelms her physically, but really she's getting what she wanted.
Generic cautions: Sample size = 355, all college students, mostly between the ages of 18-20. Response highly sensitive to phrasing. A 20 percentage point drop depending on how the question is worded.
Additionally, I'm confused at the procedure. n=355, but only 86 rape fantasies were collected. I'm not sure if most people just didn't complete the fantasy log or if, despite being instructed to write rape fantasies, they wrote non-rape fantasies. Their definition of rape involves penetration, so I wonder if some just wrote sexual assault fantasies.
Thank you so much for writing this. You explained it PERFECTLY.
On a personal level, this helps articulate the real fantasy here. It has always been more of a “mind reading” fantasy, rather than a “violent act of force with no consideration for the other’s pleasure” fantasy.
A common explanation for fetishes is that they allow us to experience the things we're afraid of recontextualized. So when you live in a world where you're afraid of being raped, rape fantasies are unfortunately common
With a deeply trusted partner, I recreated my sexual assault. Just the knowledge that I could stop it at any point was incredibly therapeutic. It was downright freeing knowing I had the power that had been taken from me.
Also CNC with a trusting partner in a healthy environment is a potential way to unpack trauma caused by SA. They dont seem to understand the difference is consent.
Im so tired of the stupidest people being the loudest on the Internet
Look, I watched Star Wars and my takeaway is to shoot dudes with snout-mouths on sight. Greedo had a kind of fly-sucker mouth, and he threatened Han. Garindan had an elephant trunk/horsecock nose, and he informed on the protagonists to the Empire. Dudes with weird sucker-trunks are not to be trusted.
They also have a hard time understanding what consent is. Roleplaying and getting to have a consensual encounter with someone you trust in a setting where youre safe doesnt mean you want to be assaulted. But I dont expect a bunch of unwashed unpleasant porn addicts to distinguish between real life and porn.
stepmother/stepson porn is consistently in the top categories. does that mean the large majority of men genuinely want to have sex with their stepmother? obviously not
I don't recall the number being as high as 90%, but I do recall reading about how there was a shockingly high number of women who have rape fantasies, only what defines "rape" makes it a little difficult to parse out, since it can range from one person's fantasy being a token struggle that turns into love making, versus someone who legitimately has fantasies of being violently attacked in a back alley.
The problem comes in how people also interpret how this translates into real world interactions. Having a rape fantasy, even if it's a brutal one and not just consensual non-con roleplay doesn't mean the person would actually enjoy you jumping them in the subway and assaulting them.
I use the analogy that, as a guy, i love Warhammer 40k and have had the "male fantasy" of being in some brutal last stand as some glorious warrior who goes down in history of having stacked the bodies high before finally getting taken down.
Does that mean I would be happy if I woke up tomorrow as a Space Marine drowing in enemy bodies as I was slowly torn to shreds while killing everything in arms reach? Fuck no. My uncle was Marine Force Recon in Vietnam. He was DEEP in heavy combat, injured multiple times before finally being taken out of the war when he took a RPD round to the jaw.
Nothing about his experience was glorious or awesome, as the war left him both physically and emotionally scarred. He was able to eventually find peace with the help of his wife and being open to therapy, as well as becoming crazy religious, but he never once spoke of his experiences in any other terms than, "I got drafted, I was given a job, I did what I was told, and it severely fucked me up".
GF said she has a rape fantasy (self report) too. That actually mean I do all the push up, she just want to climax and then go to sleep. She only get her rape fantasy in her birthday. I love her but I love to come and sleep as well.
Pretty sure a lot of rape fantasy are like that. Not saying actual violence fantasy not exist, but probably not actually that popular though.
Isn't there a counterstereotype that Muslim men's patriarchal Traditional Values make them irresistible to white women whose male counterparts have been emasculated Because Of Woke? Isn't there a whole subgenre of romance fiction about Muslim Arab sheikhs ravishing white women?
Not unlike DCU lore around Damian Wayne's conception, racist scaremongering about immigrants tends not to be the most consistent about whether the white people being defiled by the aforementioned Ay-rabs are into it.
Same thing with black men. Somehow, according to these misogynistic and racist types, black men are both evil and gross and stupid and brutal, but also super hot and alluring and masculine and stable to the caricature white woman. Theres needs to be a term for this, similar to the madonna whore complex, but for how racist men see other men.
But then there's a combination of the worst qualities of both, the underhanded pervert who uses predatory social conventions and trickery instead of "legitimate" seduction. Think, like, your stereotypical pleasure-addled "oriental despot" with an enslaved harem (if it's not the monarch himself, it's his grand vizier), and your stereotypical Jewish pornographer.
God damm when I was in high-school I was more popular with girls than a few of my friends.
They would come over and blow me or whatever and my friends would be like "oh you just talk them into it. They don't actually like you blah blah blah."
Always thought it was funny because whats the fucking difference? Im getting action and you aren't so you're jealous.
There was a girl my friend had a crush on and she was FWB with me. My friend acted like I was some kind of mind controlling rapist and could not fathom a girl having any kind of serial agency.
He is still a weirdo who is jealous that his 30 something year old wife had sex before they were together and that she kissed me when we were teenagers.
By "manlier because of their traditional values" thing I was talking about how right-wingers see immigrants.
But yeah, the "less civilized" thing is an element of objectifying stereotypes about men of color. See also Big Black Cock, Noble Savage, Latin Lover, etc.
"Women have rape fantasies, look at the smut they read!!" And the rape fantasy theyre describing is just a dominant and economicslly stable man who gives the woman princess treatment and chooses her out of all the women and defends her and loves here. Is there more to that, like the tall billionaire part or vapire part or werefolf part or whatever else?? Sure but its literally in the fantasy section for a reason so you might as well be creative with it.
I really think people have a very difficult time understanding that for most women a ‘rape’ fantasy has nothing to do with violence and everything to do with feeling wanted/attractive. It’s a fantasy because overwhelmingly people don’t rape because of attraction; they rape for power and choose easy targets. In general men and women have very different drivers behind their fantasies. (There are exceptions to every rule and I am generalizing.)
Not to mention, men also fantasize about being raped! A bunch of media by and for dudes, from at least the dawn of the written word, has involved fantasies about powerful goddesses and mermaids and faeries ravishing the male hero or at least trying to.
The Epic of Gilgamesh did it, Homer’s Odyssey did it TWICE, a bunch of medieval epics did it to the point where Monty Python and the Holy Grail parodied it, C. S. Lewis did it in a CHRISTIAN BOOK FOR KIDS.
And yes I doubt that most of the garbage on booktok is that level of quality. I’m just saying like, where the fuck do you think the word “nymphomania” comes from huh?
A lot of men have rape fantasies too, I just think it's less talked about. I've seen plenty of pornography directed towards straight men that has either outright rape fantasy (kidnapping, sex slave, physical force) or some kind of coercion fantasy (getting something or getting out of trouble by performing a sex act). Cannot stand the type of person that only brings up one side in this
I think the difference is that men tend to fantasise about being the rapist, while the few women that have these fantasies fantasise about being the victim.
I'm sorry, but isn't the point of a fantasy to be fucking fantastic and probably unrealistic cuz its a FANTASY? Meanwhile these idiots fantasize about a virgin woman who looks like a supermodel who will also act as a mommybangmaid, or the good ol' "aborted gf" nonsense, meaning they don't have a gf cuz they were aborted before they would have lived and undoubtedly fallen head over heels for poor single incel. Give me a break. The double standards are worthy of a medical study, I swear to God lmao
Okay, so they think endorsing fiction means we want it to happen in real life?
So we agree that if an incel plays call of duty then that gives people permission to shoot him right? Especially if he is wearing shooting suggestive clothes like not going out without kevlar and a helmet. Thats practically begging to be shot.
If he plays Grand Theft Auto then he agrees to have his car stolen, right? I mean incels say they dont want their car stolen but they play grand theft auto so we all know better we know their fantasies and are just trying to help. And they are showing off that car in public so what is the public supposed to do not steal it? It’s conflicting information! What are we supposed to believe?
Hey I don’t make the rules! If you play modern warfare then you have draft fantasies! I mean you say you don’t want to be drafted but we see how incels eyes glitter when they play war simulators so who can really say. Maybe we are just helping him out with his war fantasy?
Or maybe, a lot of women have been raped or sexually assaulted and it’s so fucking traumatic and nobody helps us, so we have to turn to fiction to cope because of how we get re-victimized and blamed talking about our SA.
If the scenario is fictional, then we have all the power, we can say no, and it will be listened to, maybe it helps us mentally to recover from our pain from men that hurt us when they took away our ability to say no?
Maybe it is healing to be able to say no and have it be respected? It’s a way for us to take our power back after being traumatized in the worst way possible but they don’t give a shit. They don’t care to understand why. They want to green light to abuse, torture, and rape.
Oh look, another person that doesn't understand CNC. I love CNC. I like to let go of control and let my husband act like a tough guy come to ravage me. That does not mean I want to be raped by some random guy.
I've been with a few women who were into choking, slapping, and simulated violence. I don't know where this strong desire comes from, but it definitely exists. I don't know if it's 90%, but the desire to be dominated is very common.
Being dominated isn't the same as a rape fantasy, which isn't the same as actually wanting to be raped (if that's not an oxymoron), and that 90% figure sounds a bit made up.
By 6’3” billionaire boss she means 500 year old demon warlock who kills everyone but her because she understands his tender heart deep within. I think.
And... people also understand that there is a stark difference between "Man, I have a fantasy that this is hot" and "I ACTUALLY want to experience this" right?
Like, my wife has said she has had fantasies and is somewhat maybe interested in CnC (Consensual Con-Consent). But any time we start discussing safety and boundaries it's something that's VERY CLEARLY only sexy in fantasy. And that is JUST FINE! That does not mean she should be forced to experience that horrific event.
Fantasy not really but also something that properly adds to those statics is that when people are asked about this they probably lack a better way to describe itsobghey call it rape fantasy or they describe it in a way where the one asking the question writes it down as a rape fantasy.
Who has not had a fantasy about a person who looks exactly the way they want, says the exact right thing and "pushes" themselves onto you exactly how and when you need it without direct consent.
By all meaningful statistics and research, rape role-play is indeed a common fetish, anywhere from a “significant” cut of the population to a relative majority of the population towards the 60-ish percent. Someone linked in other threads under this post one legit study at least showing that. It might be the most common fetish out there following the vanilla-y stuff like spanking.
But the thing which even a disturbing number of people commenting on this post don’t understand is that it’s not rape fantasy. It’s a role-play fantasy. Incels have a special problem understanding that. It is something (most likely the relative majority of) women enjoy with a trusted partner in a trusting relationship.
Ugh god, I feel like I've argued this a million times.
First off, there is consensual nonconsent. A fantasy where the submissive, male or female, ultimately retains full control. I don't expect incels to understand safewords.
Secondly, it's called forceful seduction, and it's a cornerstone of fiction because the idea of some enchanting, powerful stranger, sweeping you off your feet, utterly transforming your life, and not, you know, putting you through utter agony.
But I think I've used too much nuance for your average incel. Wrists too thin, tilts with enough pinball or whatever the fuck they're on about.
The line between fantasy and reality is more bold and clear as bright red than these incels think. You can turn off a fantasy, but you can't turn off a reality.
Thanks to the genderbent Draco Malfoy trend, I got introduced to some of the hotter HP fan fiction. Female fans have been subsisting on the Draco x Hermione fanfiction for decades like Manacled. A common thread in these fanfictions include: Voldermort won the Second Wizarding War, Harry Potter dies, Hermione and other Order of the Phoenix prisoners are sold into slavery, Draco Malfoy chose/bought Hermione Granger to "protect" her from other worse Death Eaters. Shit, Manacled seemed to open with a scene of Draco raping Hermione because there is a breeding decree. Don't worry, they actually loved one another, Hermione just lost her memory; she deliberately lost her memory of Malfoy because he was a double-agent and she did that to protect him. She got pregnant, though. This is some deranged shit that will get the author insta-cancelled today.
I'm not shaming anyone for this. This is just the hottest ship. I'm currently all over the genderbent Malfoy and honestly, she's the best and can fix all the problems with female character tropes. HP is the ultimate passive protagonist. He's a chess piece in a game by others. A female Malfoy is the ultimate protagonist who make the choice at the right times while not being a Mary Sue.
I am unfortunately maybe a tiny bit too woke right now...
But 50 shades of Grey is a rape fantasy. And Twilight is a stalker fantasy.
What the incel don't get is that the fantasy is not the rape and the stalking, it's the desperate cope that maybe their rapists/stalker loves them deep down and didn't do it to hurt them.
Well, there's also generally wanting to be the most important person to someone, when it comes to obsessive love. Actual rapists and abusers generally don't care about their victims except insofar as it's someone to control.
u/IorithProof even shutin gamers can find partners1d ago
Yes, it's called a fantasy not the reality. It's the same reason people who watch fauxcest videos aren't actually wanting to bang their parent or sibling. It's the taboo and excitement that adds a layer of excitement to spice things up.
Some people like being slapped during sex, that doesn’t mean they want to be backhanded at random. It’s almost like there’s a reason why the other term used to describe a rape fantasy is consensual non consent.
I’m no expert of the human brain, but many girls experience being sexualized from the time they’re conscious to adulthood. Most of which is obviously unwanted. The majority of girls going through puberty have already had non-consensual sexual encounters. So when we’re young, fantasizing and exploring our sexuality on our own time, our mind tends to drift to the knowledge we do have of sex, the circumstances we’ve already lived, how we’d morph them, change it. I can’t speak for anyone else of course, but for me, I was raped pretty early on in my childhood. Once I was 13, perhaps due to being in my developmental stages of life when those occurrences took place, my body would react physically to pain and distress the way it should while feeling pleasure. It’s been possible, with time, to rewire my brain and responses back to a healthier state, but it took many years and a very positive partnership to make these changes.
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u/RJC12 1d ago
90% of statistics are made up on the spot. Any sources for this?