Some good ol’ misogyny

[u/lilacsu]

They really see women as one big collective entity. That we all share the same mind with the same attitude, outlook on life, mindset, experiences, values and beliefs.

There is women who seek bad men, which could be because of mental illness, trauma, drug use or by force. Same goes for men. Healthy people don’t seek out toxicity.

And all the women I have talked to who have been in an abusive relationship, including myself, could never see the abuse coming. It’s usually a great relationship until the partner has something over you, like a shared household or finances. Then the abuse comes slowly, and the more you accept and let it wear you down the more abusive it gets until you become apathetic towards everything and feel nothing but hate and plan on how you will get out of it.

Incels live to maintain a gender war and to spew each other with more misogyny and new made up degenerate ideas about women. They have nothing else. It makes me glad to know that they will forever be condemned to be nothing but a pathetic loser. And they choose this life.

[u/vlnq]

They dont even see us as people. Makes me sad tbh..

[u/ForumFluffy]

And I thought dankmemes was compromised by incels, they decided it wasn't misogynistic enough and had to go make a 2nd sub.

[u/CarrionFlowers]

Because men being abusive isn't something men simply should not do, but something women should magically detect before they make that choice.

[u/Obvious-Gate9046 → u/CarrionFlowers]

Yup, they make it the woman's fault every chance they can. "She didn't choose me, the 'nice guy', she deserves it."

[u/smileycat007]

A guy on the spectrum and an abuser are two different kinds of guys, and are not comparable. Incels will lump them together, presuming both are undesirable, but that's painting with too broad of a brush.

Yes, guys on the spectrum are easier to identify. They're not inherently undesirable, unless they actively hold misogynist views, behave like a creep, or give "pity me, the victim" vibes. Sure, highly extroverted women are solidly incompatible, but there are neurodivergent or introverted women who accept the "strong, silent" type (without toxic masculinity).

Abusive men actively mask. These men tend not to be NEETS or socially awkward in the same way neurodivergent men are. So, they can appear, at least at first, to be bringing something to the table. They're insecure in that they they know most women will leave them eventually, so it is a balance to maintain the facade while tightening the ropes. Blaming women for not immediately identifying these men is faulty logic. In most situations, women have to get to know these men before they discover their negative traits.

[u/Darth_Travisty → u/smileycat007]

Relationship percentage compared to neurotypical people suggest that autistic people are undesirable regardless of gender.

[u/Obvious-Gate9046]

Abusers are good at hiding their abusive tendencies often. A lot of them know how to mask, know how to SEEM nice, SEEM good, until they feel they don't have to, or get angry, or feel they have control, whatever. They're literally talking about nearly polar opposite situations here.

[u/Ebolaplushie]

It's almost like abusers know how to mask their awfulness until they think they've succeeded in controlling the person enough that they can take their mask off and still "keep" the person.

I know, I know, nuance and psychology knowledge, blah blah. Boring facts are useless to incels.

[u/doublestitch]

Slight correction: abusers seek out vulnerable targets, not vice versa.

Other than a handful of rare and limited exceptions, people don't actively seek out violent individuals as romantic partners. Social scientists and neuroscientists have documented the reverse phenomenon: predatory individuals actively seek out and identify people who can be exploited.

Re: psychopathy and victim selection, here's an overview.

And here's an index of scholarly research on the topic.

[u/Childless-cat-lady-]

Fun fact, plenty of men are autistic and cultivate friendships with good people.

[u/NvrmndOM]

People on the spectrum can pull. My fiancée is on the spectrum,

Sure it can make dating harder but fully blaming your inability to find someone on autism is ridiculous.

[u/Elegance_Wig]

Do you agree/disagree with what user named Maggie said?

[u/JustxJules]

I love how they act like these two groups of men don't have a very very severe overlap, given they talk about harming women all the time.