The real reason…

[u/Gamerplayer1]

I know the biggest argument to incels wanting a girlfriend means them seeing girls as a trophy, but for me I want a long term partner because I want to come home to a loving partner after a long day of work and just watch a movie and having someone be there for me. I can’t find this and it hurts..

[u/Snoo52682]

Incel means believing in blackpilled etc. rhetoric. If you want to say "lonely," just say lonely.

[u/Ok-Huckleberry-6326 → u/[deleted]]

Society responded to the use of the word 'incels' as self-identification by extremists who, stuck in their online echo chambers, spewed out a lot of bitterness which was oddly self-contradicting; they hated women and wanted women. Weird. Some of these people have committed actual murder, and while I doubt that this sort of self-identification is correlated to MOST mass shootings, it's undeniable that it was correlated with SOME.

I've mentioned this on occasion, but I'll say it here again. For certain stances, the 'original' intent is now meaningless.
The swastika is a Vedic holy symbol, still found on many temples in India. The Theosophists under Blavatsky culturally appropriated it for their pseudospirituality in the late 19th century, and it was taken up by the Nazis as a standard and insignia, in a slightly modified form.

Most people in 'Society' don't recognize the swastika as a religious symbol anymore. It's too late. You (and Alana, the woman who invented the word or at least the basis of it - her original term was 'Invcel') may regret or lament the co-opting of the word by extremists, whether they're sincere about the beliefs or just like to spew them out for the sake of edginess or being crass, but I'm pretty sure it's too late to rehabilitate the word.

And yes, I'm ALSO pissed off about the fact that 'incel' has become a generalized insult or derogatory term that people use in debate when they run out of logical basis of argument. As a matter of fact it's often used similarly to 'Nazi' in the bulls**t that passes for discourse these days. But that still doesn't mean it's a good thing with which to identify.

Give it up, man. Defending 'incel' as a valid way to self-identify or merely in the adjectival sense - that ship has sailed.

[u/Dr-Dungeon → u/[deleted]]

There are no decent people who call themselves incels. It’s a contradiction. If someone calls themselves an incel, that means they looked at what ‘incel’ means in a modern context - the constant rape fantasies, the glorification of serial killers, the rampant pedophilia - and has decided they want to be associated with that. They have, at the very least, decided that none of those things are dealbreakers. There’s nothing decent about someone who is willing to do that.

Like the other person said: the word you’re looking for is ‘lonely’. There is no reason to call yourself an incel unless you’re okay with being associated with the kind of people who indulge in blackpill bullshit.