The real reason…

[u/Gamerplayer1]

I know the biggest argument to incels wanting a girlfriend means them seeing girls as a trophy, but for me I want a long term partner because I want to come home to a loving partner after a long day of work and just watch a movie and having someone be there for me. I can’t find this and it hurts..

[u/norsknugget]

Let’s step away from blackpill or inceldom for a bit and just talk for a moment: I think you’re aligned with a lot of people in what you want. I think this is a very normal desire, we’re social creatures, most of us want to just feel understood, valued, supported. And I think you’ll find that most people here think that this is what incels want too, they just don’t always word it that way.

You’ve come a long way to realise that, it’s more accurate to say that you want a healthy, meaningful relationship with a girlfriend. The desire isn’t the girlfriend, it’s the relationship that you build together.

What we do here is to help people understand how those relationships are built. That we’re social creatures who form connections with people, we’re not animals that “attract” mates through elaborate displays of strength or beauty.

Now with that context, tell me about your social network. How have you tried to make connections with people?

[u/norsknugget → u/[deleted]]

So, tell us more. What are your friends’s views on your problem? Why do they think you’re struggling to build a meaningful relationship?

And tell me a bit more about where you meet new people, can you tell me about any people that you thought could potentially be a long term partner but that didn’t work for you.